ChrisnSteph
<font color=purple>Ask me about Ben Franklin's bat
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2003
- Messages
- 6,106
This is a bit long, so forgive me for being long winded! I had a huge fight with my neighbor yesterday. Before I describe what happened, here's a little background on who he is. His name is Randy, and we are all new to this development. When we first met him and his family, he seemed like a rather nice guy, and pretty easygoing. His dd "Sarah" is the same age as my dd, and they're in the same class together. They walk to and from school together, and they play together at home. A few weeks after we moved in he came over for something, and we stood in our front yard chit chatting for a bit. I knew he was a contractor, so I asked him if he worked in the field or from home, because I noticed his truck was usually in the driveway. (It's hard to miss, he lives directly across from me). He answered my question, talked a little more about this and that, and we parted ways. Almost a week later, he comes over and starts chewing me out, saying that I had insulted him for being a contractor, and that he makes plenty of money and yada yada. Really, I don't remember everything he was ranting about but it seemed really out there. Fortunately my dh was home and diffused the situation. I apologized and said I'm really sorry but I never intended to insult him, that I was just having friendly conversation! He then apologized and said that he was being a little sensitive to doing the "Mr. Mom" thing, and blah blah blah. Ok, he said he was sorry, I'm over it. Fast forward to November. Randy and his family go to Hawaii for a week, and his mother is housesitting while they're away. Without going into the entire story, an incident happened where a mouse was thrown over Randy's fence into their neighbors yard and into their spa. The neighbor "Donna" went over to find out how it happened, and Randy's mother said she had no clue how a mouse flew over the fence into Donna's yard. Donna doubted her story, but politely left it at that. No big deal. Randy and family come back from vacation, and heard what happened. He goes over to Donna's house, and literally ripped her a new one for about 10 minutes about how dare Donna threaten his mother and call her a liar and on and on. I could hear him screaming at her inside my house, three doors down! I was floored because Donna and her dh have been real buddy-buddy with Randy, and to have him overreact like that and turn on them was quite something. Randy comes over to me a few days after that and starts badmouthing Donna and her family, and gives me his version of what happened which is so far-fetched, I don't believe a word of it (especially since I heard the true version of the mouse story before he even came home from vacation). I didn't want to cross him so I didn't try to defend Donna, and I let it go. I just tried to avoid him if I could. Fast forward to Sunday. My dd and Randy's daughter Sarah played outside for several hours, and by the end of the day they were both fighting with each other, name calling - typical kid bickering. Sarah had slept over at our house Friday, and I think they had spent too much time together and were just done with each other by the end of the weekend (plus other kids were involved, that "third" child stirring it up theory is my guess). Anyhow, I made my dd come inside, and I chewed her butt from our house to the grocery store about how we don't talk ugly to friends, and that the next day I wanted her to apologize to Sarah. She admitted being a turd, but was in tears and adamant that Sarah was doing the same amount of name calling and saying mean things to her. So after school yesterday, Randy picked up Sarah from school and they get home before my dd. He comes to my door (with Sarah in tow) and proceeds to yell and scream at me that he's sick and tired of my dd treating his dd like crap, and that Hayley is always calling Sarah names, and on and on. As calmly as I could I told him that he was absolutely right, Hayley was being a turd yesterday and I dealt with it. I explained that she admitted it, got in big trouble for it and was going to apologize to Sarah today. I then told him that while Hayley did get quite the lecture, I believed that the tiff between them was two-sided and that both girls were guilty of being ugly to each other. I tried to explain the things that Hayley claimed Sarah did and said, but he wouldn't hear any of it. He tells me that his dd doesn't talk mean to her friends, and that Hayley called Sarah a "big fat butt" and he's NEVER heard his dd say things like that, on and on. He says that he witnessed my dd call Sarah names five different times on Sunday (yet he never said anything to me about it the day before), and that my dd also hosed off a kid down the street with water (the kids were washing their bikes and scooters yesterday, but Hayley says that she doesn't even know which kid he's talking about). I told him that just because he witnessed my dd saying some mean things didn't mean that his dd didn't say mean things to Hayley when he wasn't around. I said, "Randy, you're not with them every second when they're playing, how do you know for sure that Sarah didn't call Hayley names or said mean things to her?" He repeated that his dd didn't do anything wrong, that it's always my kid being the obnoxious one. I again told him that I dealt with Hayley's behavior, what else did he want me to do? Take her in the street and stone her? He yells at me again, "What are you going to do about your dd calling my dd a loser in class today?!!". I looked at Sarah and asked her if she went to their teacher about it. She just looked at me with a blank stare, then at her dad. I repeated the question, did you let your teacher know? He screams at me to not speak to his dd, to address him. So I said fine, ask her if she went to the teacher! He screamed at me that my dd needs to stay away from his, and that he's going to the principal about my dd constantly "emotionally and verbally abusing" his dd, and on and on. I said that I've taken responsibility for my dd's behavior, but his dd isn't an angel and I wasn't going to stand there and let him degrade my dd and take all the blame. I said that instead of teaching his dd to work it out with Hayley and apologize to each other he had to come over and pick a fight instead. He was so irate and I couldn't reason with him, so I told him to stay away from me, stay away from my family and get off my property. As he's walking away he yells that "Now I know where your dd gets it, you *****!" I yelled back that he has issues and he's setting a great example for his dd, whose standing right next to him. I went back inside, and a couple minutes later my dd walks in the door, in tears and shaking. She goes on to tell me that as she rode her bike home from school, Randy pulled over, got out of the car and confronted her on the sidewalk in front of "everybody". She said that he yelled at her that "she better not call my dd names" and some other things. She said that another dad witnessed it and asked Hayley if that was her dad, when she said no the dad told Hayley that she needs to be careful and stay away from that man. My dd is terrified of Randy and doesn't even want to walk out of the house! I was livid. How dare he confront her like that while she didn't even have anyone there to defend her! She's nine years old! When I confronted her about calling Sarah a "loser" in class, she broke down and swore on the "the lives of her angel brothers" that she never said one word to Sarah yesterday, and that's after I told her that I promised not to get angry if she told me the truth. Swearing on her brothers is not something my dd would ever take lightly so I know she's telling the truth, but I'm not sure why Sarah would make something like that up. My dh wasn't home yesterday, but he'll be home today and I don't know what he's going to do, but he's beyond ticked. Based on his history, I'm considering getting a restraining order against him. What would you guys do?
. He accused me one day of 'storming into the school library and screaming at his son". Um, ok, I did that, NOT. Then he said "are you calling my kid a liar", well, YES! He moved fortunately!
that she never said one word to Sarah yesterday, and that's after I told her that I promised not to get angry if she told me the truth. Swearing on her brothers is not something my dd would ever take lightly so I know she's telling the truth, but I'm not sure why Sarah would make something like that up. I just wish my dh would hurry up and get home!
. I'd also contact the school and let your DD's teacher know that you're having issues with another child's family. Good luck.
