HS Graduation - NOT

[shortbun]

I would talk to him and tell him this is something that would be special to you. It truly isn't for the graduates as much as their parents, imho. My son graduates this year and I thought he would poo poo the idea of walking for his diploma. I would not have objected but would have been kind of sad. To my surprise, he's kind of excited about it. Go figure.
My graduation was a love fest among my classmates. We were close and we partied hard. We had threatened to boycott because they were prohibiting the pregnant women from walking...out threat took care of that. The year, 1971, a year where taking a stand meant something.

 

[aprilgail2]

This to me is like people going to a wedding reception, but skipping the ceremony.

Lol-seriously? Most people i know skip the wedding and just go to the reception. I only go to wedding if it is a very close family member -otherwise just the reception.

 

[ronandannette]

Lol...tuxes and ballgowns is prom...not graduation.

But OP...I would be seriously disappointed and would need a dang good reason.

Not in Canada - schools here do not have proms. "Grad" as it is referred to here is the occasion that is comprised of both the ceremony and the huge dinner/dance event as well as many individual "after-parties". It's when the tuxes, $500 gowns, wrist corsages and limo rentals happen.

OP here - Thank you everyone for your opinions. We made a compromise. He does not have to walk at graduation but he will march with the band one last time for the Memorial Day parade. (optional for seniors).

Many of you asked his reasons - there are many but the main one is he is attending the community college for all his classes this year and really doesn't like those in his class. He has a few friends and sees them regularly. This year he is far removed from high school activities.

Also our hs graduates at an arena 30 minutes away. It seats over 10K. From what I've heard it is very loud, impersonal and you can only see your kid on the jumbotron.

Now that you've explained it further it does make sense for him to give it a pass. The event doesn't even sound that attractive the way you describe it and I highly doubt he will ever regret not going. I understand your melancholy about "what might have been" but it's unlikely he'll ever give it another though - he's already moved on. (FWIW our own DS is in danger of not graduating as it looks like he will be one credit short. I am crushed at the thought of us, as a family, being deprived of this milestone but it is what it is. We will not encourage him to participate with next year's class when he does become eligible - it just wouldn't be the same for him or us.)

My DS skipped his. He has no regrets. We did celebrate with a party.

Good idea! Ask your DS what kind of event he would find meaningful and go for it!

 

[KAMLEM]

I never realized that so many kids didn't go to the ceremony and that so many people had such strong feelings about it. My older DD walked and my younger one will walk this year and they never would have considered not doing it. My younger DD just had her measurements taken for her cap and gown and even that was exciting for her. I remember my graduation day clearly and I remember how much fun it was. I just think it's sad that the ceremony isn't as important to everyone.

 

[jenflamingo1]

The ONLY reason I went to my HS graduation ceremony was because of the boy I was dating . I also skipped my college graduation - it simply wasn't important to me .
Now , on the other hand , when I earned my BS in nursing , I wanted to go and celebrate that graduation , so that ceremony I attended .

When I was in high school , the class ring , fancy announcements , and other trappings just didn't interest me one bit , so I only did what was mandatory (cap and gown ). I was fortunate to have a Mom who supported my decisions - heck , she was probably relieved not to have to come up with the money !

 

[mumto3girls]

What I tell our Seniors the day of graduation is this: Today, believe it or not, is NOT about you. You've had all the events over the last weeks leading up to graduation, you've had college acceptance, you have all the stuff this summer leading up to going to college. But today is not YOUR day. Today is about your parents. It's about their baby achieving a huge milestone and growing up. It's about their chance to say some goodbyes to the baby you once were, the one they can still see in your eyes. It's their chance to hear your name announced, to see you stand in the spotlight and receive that diploma, and beam with pride. So you're doing today for THEM, as a small thank you for al they've given up to allow you to achieve this milestone. And I want you to stand tall, to give them that photograph of you becoming an adult. And, in some small measure, it's also for your classmates and your teachers. This is the last time you guys will EVER be together as a class. Your opting out takes away from that...and, yes, we will know. No matter how your high school years went, there are teachers who taught you and will mourn your absence. There are kids who will mourn your absence, whether or not you know their names, they'll notice. You are part of this class; without you, the whole class isn't celebrating this milestone. I realize there are some exceptions-- say, kids who have been bullied and can't wait for this part of their life to end. And I'm not really talking about them... I'm talking about the typical whine that graduation is long and boring. Yep, it is. Every single year. But those minutes when the entire class (all 600 of them) processes in, and that moment when YOU are standing in the spotlight making mom and dad proud-- those minutes are time you give back to others. OP, do what's right for your family of course. But I'm sincerely hoping that every one of the 600 or so of our current Seniors attends the graduation ceremony in June.

Thanks for posting this. I do recall sitting there at my own high school graduation and thinking that this was it. We would never all be together again. It was bittersweet. My class was about 230 and I didn't know everyone well, but I at least probably knew all of their names and many kids I had been with since kindergarten. I wasn't someone that loved high school and was really popular, but I had a nice core group of friends and did well academically--certainly I wasn't bullied. I was glad to be moving on, but having that one last day to look back at how far we had come together was nice.

I do think though that anyone who was marginalized and had a rough time shouldn't have to go if they don't want to do so.

 

[Jaime4004]

The ONLY reason I went to my HS graduation ceremony was because of the boy I was dating . I also skipped my college graduation - it simply wasn't important to me .
Now , on the other hand , when I earned my BS in nursing , I wanted to go and celebrate that graduation , so that ceremony I attended .

When I was in high school , the class ring , fancy announcements , and other trappings just didn't interest me one bit , so I only did what was mandatory (cap and gown ). I was fortunate to have a Mom who supported my decisions - heck , she was probably relieved not to have to come up with the money !

Same here, fancy stuff not interesting to me. Skipped prom. I went to my HS graduation but didn't want to. Don't remember the reason I did go, I might not have known that it was an option not to, or parents might have made me. Either way, I hardly remember it and wouldn't regret it at all if I skipped. I did skip the college graduation (my friends still tease me about them having pics of everyone in their caps and gowns, except me.) I ended up going for my Master's graduation because my friends in that class begged me enough. Again, I would not have regretted not going. It's not my thing.
I believe it's up to the kid, not the family. They put the work into the diploma. The ceremony is symbolic, they still graduated. If my kids choose to go, i'll be there clapping and cheering. If they chose not to go, we'll go out to dinner instead.

 

[SeaSpray]

What I tell our Seniors the day of graduation is this:

Today, believe it or not, is NOT about you. You've had all the events over the last weeks leading up to graduation, you've had college acceptance, you have all the stuff this summer leading up to going to college. But today is not YOUR day.

Today is about your parents. It's about their baby achieving a huge milestone and growing up. It's about their chance to say some goodbyes to the baby you once were, the one they can still see in your eyes. It's their chance to hear your name announced, to see you stand in the spotlight and receive that diploma, and beam with pride.

So you're doing today for THEM, as a small thank you for al they've given up to allow you to achieve this milestone. And I want you to stand tall, to give them that photograph of you becoming an adult.

And, in some small measure, it's also for your classmates and your teachers. This is the last time you guys will EVER be together as a class. Your opting out takes away from that...and, yes, we will know. No matter how your high school years went, there are teachers who taught you and will mourn your absence. There are kids who will mourn your absence, whether or not you know their names, they'll notice. You are part of this class; without you, the whole class isn't celebrating this milestone.

I realize there are some exceptions-- say, kids who have been bullied and can't wait for this part of their life to end. And I'm not really talking about them... I'm talking about the typical whine that graduation is long and boring. Yep, it is. Every single year. But those minutes when the entire class (all 600 of them) processes in, and that moment when YOU are standing in the spotlight making mom and dad proud-- those minutes are time you give back to others.
OP, do what's right for your family of course. But I'm sincerely hoping that every one of the 600 or so of our current Seniors attends the graduation ceremony in June.

I must be emotional today because that almost brought a tear to my eye.

You worded the sentiment very well. It's very close to what we said to our DSs before their graduations. For both of them, they are glad they attended.

 

[ICF]

What I tell our Seniors the day of graduation is this:

Today, believe it or not, is NOT about you. You've had all the events over the last weeks leading up to graduation, you've had college acceptance, you have all the stuff this summer leading up to going to college. But today is not YOUR day.

Today is about your parents. It's about their baby achieving a huge milestone and growing up. It's about their chance to say some goodbyes to the baby you once were, the one they can still see in your eyes. It's their chance to hear your name announced, to see you stand in the spotlight and receive that diploma, and beam with pride.

So you're doing today for THEM, as a small thank you for al they've given up to allow you to achieve this milestone. And I want you to stand tall, to give them that photograph of you becoming an adult.

And, in some small measure, it's also for your classmates and your teachers. This is the last time you guys will EVER be together as a class. Your opting out takes away from that...and, yes, we will know. No matter how your high school years went, there are teachers who taught you and will mourn your absence. There are kids who will mourn your absence, whether or not you know their names, they'll notice. You are part of this class; without you, the whole class isn't celebrating this milestone.

I realize there are some exceptions-- say, kids who have been bullied and can't wait for this part of their life to end. And I'm not really talking about them... I'm talking about the typical whine that graduation is long and boring. Yep, it is. Every single year. But those minutes when the entire class (all 600 of them) processes in, and that moment when YOU are standing in the spotlight making mom and dad proud-- those minutes are time you give back to others.

OP, do what's right for your family of course. But I'm sincerely hoping that every one of the 600 or so of our current Seniors attends the graduation ceremony in June.

well said....I never once considered missing my HS grad ceremony and dont know anyone one in my class that did. It's not something I ever knew was even an option. I'd be very disappointed if my kids wanted to miss it.

 

[disykat]

What I tell our Seniors the day of graduation is this:

Today, believe it or not, is NOT about you. You've had all the events over the last weeks leading up to graduation, you've had college acceptance, you have all the stuff this summer leading up to going to college. But today is not YOUR day.

Today is about your parents. It's about their baby achieving a huge milestone and growing up. It's about their chance to say some goodbyes to the baby you once were, the one they can still see in your eyes. It's their chance to hear your name announced, to see you stand in the spotlight and receive that diploma, and beam with pride.

So you're doing today for THEM, as a small thank you for al they've given up to allow you to achieve this milestone. And I want you to stand tall, to give them that photograph of you becoming an adult.

And, in some small measure, it's also for your classmates and your teachers. This is the last time you guys will EVER be together as a class. Your opting out takes away from that...and, yes, we will know. No matter how your high school years went, there are teachers who taught you and will mourn your absence. There are kids who will mourn your absence, whether or not you know their names, they'll notice. You are part of this class; without you, the whole class isn't celebrating this milestone.

I realize there are some exceptions-- say, kids who have been bullied and can't wait for this part of their life to end. And I'm not really talking about them... I'm talking about the typical whine that graduation is long and boring. Yep, it is. Every single year. But those minutes when the entire class (all 600 of them) processes in, and that moment when YOU are standing in the spotlight making mom and dad proud-- those minutes are time you give back to others.

OP, do what's right for your family of course. But I'm sincerely hoping that every one of the 600 or so of our current Seniors attends the graduation ceremony in June.

Beautiful!

I've volunteered to hand out diplomas after the ceremony at our graduation a few times. (junior moms do this at our school) Every single student I saw, from the valedictorian to students from the alt school, grinned as they picked up their diplomas. Last year since I was in charge of grad night I went to all the rehearsals etc. I really admired how all the administrators, teachers, and other staff made the day special for our kids. Thank you for what you do!

 

[cassandrap83]

I think the ceremony is a right of passage and it is important that your son walks.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Lol-seriously? Most people i know skip the wedding and just go to the reception. I only go to wedding if it is a very close family member -otherwise just the reception.

This is the tackiest thing ever. Really.

 

[nealymouse]

My two oldest daughters told me point blank they were not attending HS graduation. They picked up their diplomas a few days after. I was hurt at 1st but decided it was their choice to attend or not.

 

[formill]

Not in Canada - schools here do not have proms. "Grad" as it is referred to here is the occasion that is comprised of both the ceremony and the huge dinner/dance event as well as many individual "after-parties". It's when the tuxes, $500 gowns, wrist corsages and limo rentals happen.



Different everywhere I guess. We are Canadian. We live in Ontario. There are Proms all over the place in the spring. High School graduation is watching the kids in a very hot gym get their diplomas one by one then some cookies in the cafeteria no big fancy dinner and dance at all. I have one son that went to his high school graduation and a daughter that did not and did not want to. 2 more children to get there and it will be entirely up to them if they want to go to their graduation.

 

[disneychrista]

Is this a high school or college graduation?

I told my younger daughter (who didn't really want to "do graduation") that High School graduation was for me. When she graduates from college if she didn't want to "do graduation" that was fine. I didn't "do graduation" when I graduated college. But I also completed by classes in December, didn't make sense to go back for graduation.

 

[Missy1961]

This is the tackiest thing ever. Really.

Honestly, it's not.

 

[mommasita]

This is the tackiest thing ever. Really.

Well she isn't alone... My husband has about 300 cousins, and we OFTEN skip the church part.. They are hours away, and with the 5 hours or more after the church and before the hall, we just attend the reception.. Giant Italian family it is, and we have at least 5 a year.. We must pace ourselves.. We certainly are not tacky, just a question of logistics at times.
Judging isn't always on the money.

I myself skipped my HS Graduation in 1986, and have never regretted it.. Not once..

Not in Canada - schools here do not have proms. "Grad" as it is referred to here is the occasion that is comprised of both the ceremony and the huge dinner/dance event as well as many individual "after-parties". It's when the tuxes, $500 gowns, wrist corsages and limo rentals happen.



Different everywhere I guess. We are Canadian. We live in Ontario. There are Proms all over the place in the spring. High School graduation is watching the kids in a very hot gym get their diplomas one by one then some cookies in the cafeteria no big fancy dinner and dance at all. I have one son that went to his high school graduation and a daughter that did not and did not want to. 2 more children to get there and it will be entirely up to them if they want to go to their graduation.

Same here, or mostly.. Proms are in June, and in October is the diploma ceremony.. It is done at Church, and my son's was this past October.. 5 hours long .. I thought I would pass out at one point.. We went out for a nice family dinner after..

 

[mommasita]

Honestly, it's not.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Not in Canada - schools here do not have proms. "Grad" as it is referred to here is the occasion that is comprised of both the ceremony and the huge dinner/dance event as well as many individual "after-parties". It's when the tuxes, $500 gowns, wrist corsages and limo rentals happen.



Different everywhere I guess. We are Canadian. We live in Ontario. There are Proms all over the place in the spring. High School graduation is watching the kids in a very hot gym get their diplomas one by one then some cookies in the cafeteria no big fancy dinner and dance at all. I have one son that went to his high school graduation and a daughter that did not and did not want to. 2 more children to get there and it will be entirely up to them if they want to go to their graduation.

We don't have graduation ceremony at school you get you gsce and a level results and certificate and that is it.

 

[Missy1961]

Well she isn't alone... My husband has about 300 cousins, and we OFTEN skip the church part.. They are hours away, and with the 5 hours or more after the church and before the hall, we just attend the reception.. Giant Italian family it is, and we have at least 5 a year.. We must pace ourselves.. We certainly are not tacky, just a question of logistics at times.
Judging isn't always on the money.

I myself skipped my HS Graduation in 1986, and have never regretted it.. Not once..

Same here, or mostly.. Proms are in June, and in October is the diploma ceremony.. It is done at Church, and my son's was this past October.. 5 hours long .. I thought I would pass out at one point.. We went out for a nice family dinner after..

Yeah, I think if you're outside of the large Italian family you would think it's rude. And around here, a lot of couples have gone to Friday night weddings with the ceremony in one place & the reception in another direction. It's just a little easier to just go to the reception. You (general you) can think it's tacky but it's a method of survival for those of us in the middle of it.