HS Graduation - NOT

[disykat]

I would have been disappointed if my child didn't go through the high school graduation ceremony. I'm not big on ceremonies, but it seems like that one is an important rite of passage.

I admit, it was a big deal to ME. My youngest ds's graduation, I was in charge of grad night. That night was my last big hurrah after 14 years of volunteering in various functions at their schools - and my last real opportunity to be hands on involved in my son's activities in that way. It was all about my son, but I was glad I got that closure too.

College ceremonies I could care less about. If they want to go, I'll be there with bells on. If they don't, it's no big deal to me. It is an accomplishment worth celebrating certainly, but to me it's not the same kind of rite of passage as a high school graduation.

 

[ennazus]

I didn't go to my college graduation. Although I had weighing circumstances that I took into consideration: (mother just diagnosed w/ brain tumor, fiance's brother in serious accident) I equally weighed the fact that I just didn't want to sit for several hours for Pomp and Circumstance. The fact that I thought it was a waste of time was just as important-was weighted just as much in my decision-as the serious issues family members were dealing with. I have never regretted skipping my college graduation.

I think the choice should be the graduate's.

 

[Schmeck]

See, I think it makes more sense to skip the college graduation - they are long, boring, with thousands of names of people you don't even know, etc. The diploma is the important part of college, not the ceremony.

But at high school, or at least at our very small one (less than 200 students per class) most people know most of the kids. I knew everyone at both of my daughters' graduation. With everyone going off to their next stage of life, there's a chance that you might never see these people again. We have a grad night event right after graduation and the graduates have a great time together.

Of course, not knowing what the 'valid reasons' are for the OP's son, I can't make an informed opinion, but if he doesn't want to go, good, don't make him go. Nothing worse than sitting next to someone who doesn't want to be there, listening to him/her grumble. My older daughter had to sit next to some brat who swore the entire time because the brat had barely put any effort into high school and of course was not awarded anything during the ceremony. My daughter got 4 scholarships (including the biggest one) and every time she stood up for acknowledgment, the brat swore even more. It would have been much nicer if the brat had stayed home.

 

[Cindy B]

My son was adamant about not going to graduation up until about May.

His reasons: "It's long, it's boring, I hate everyone, It's in a huge stadium, It's in another state"

Yes: Our high school graduation is in a University amphitheater in another state. To be fair the state line is only about a 10-20 minute drive from school, but it is in another state. Why we just don't have it on the football field? I have no idea!

In the end, he went. All the seniors were bussed from school to the stadium.- so there was no getting out of it.

He didn't do a few other things: prom, group senior picture, senior trip- so I told him he had to do this.

 

[mrsklamc]

A friend and I were just discussing how we don't understand people's need to make people conform to expectations. (This particular friend has no desire to ever give birth.) Why is it so hard to understand that some people really don't care about some things, and why do others work so hard to convince them they should?

 

[luvsJack]

I didn't skip mine but several of the guys I graduated with did. They had gotten jobs offshore and had to leave in the days between finals and the ceremony (back then it was a week between). 33 years later they still say they regret it.

 

[Pooh67_68]

Why is it so hard to understand that some people really don't care about some things, and why do others work so hard to convince them they should?

This, I can not believe all the adults here saying my child must to it for ME!

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

We all have to do things in life that we don't WANT to do. We all work with people we don't like. We have customers/clients we don't care for. We have to make tough decisions. It doesn't mean you can just take your ball and go home becuase you don't want to play anymore. It's called LIFE. Suck it up. 2 hours of your life and you might just get something out of it.

I go to a few high school graduation ceremonies and I am inspired by the speeches. It is the ending to a 4 year journey that involves not only other students, but teachers, administration, family, etc. It is so much more than just walking up to get a slip of paper.

And to those who are surprised at MY response....well, I'm just as shocked at yours.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

This, I can not believe all the adults here saying my child must to it for ME!

What is wrong with doing it for the whole family? Did the child participate in high school all alone for the past 4 years, or do you think FAMILY had some type of involvement in it?

 

[Laura66]

I would be very disappointed - and I really wound try to persuade him to change his mind! Heck I know I would be begging!
But as disappointed as I would be - I know I'd have to back off and let him do what he feels is the right thing for him.
Of course he may regret it later - but that's part of growing up and becoming an adult.

 

[Pembo]

OP here - Thank you everyone for your opinions. We made a compromise. He does not have to walk at graduation but he will march with the band one last time for the Memorial Day parade. (optional for seniors).

Many of you asked his reasons - there are many but the main one is he is attending the community college for all his classes this year and really doesn't like those in his class. He has a few friends and sees them regularly. This year he is far removed from high school activities.

Also our hs graduates at an arena 30 minutes away. It seats over 10K. From what I've heard it is very loud, impersonal and you can only see your kid on the jumbotron.

 

[momto2girls]

This, I can not believe all the adults here saying my child must to it for ME!

I agree!

 

[mrsklamc]

We all have to do things in life that we don't WANT to do. We all work with people we don't like. We have customers/clients we don't care for. We have to make tough decisions. It doesn't mean you can just take your ball and go home becuase you don't want to play anymore. It's called LIFE. Suck it up. 2 hours of your life and you might just get something out of it.

I go to a few high school graduation ceremonies and I am inspired by the speeches. It is the ending to a 4 year journey that involves not only other students, but teachers, administration, family, etc. It is so much more than just walking up to get a slip of paper.

And to those who are surprised at MY response....well, I'm just as shocked at yours.

It's really not. As for the first part- it's supposed to be a happy occasion, if you HAVE to 'suck it up' then there's no point in going.

 

[Laura66]

My last kid graduated HS four years ago I could not wait to get out of the place. What a joke compared to 1971 when I graduated HS. Yelling kids and parents. Even parents with air horns. Come on! But then again, I graduated from two colleges and skipped both ceremony's.

Don this is exactly how the graduations here were!!! OMG - police had to escort parents and family out for being so obnoxious! And I'll say it because it's the truth! The most obnoxious parents and family members were of kids you thought - I've never even heard of that person - or the troublemakers who you thought - it's a maricle that they even graduated!
And we live in an excellent school district with very involved parents!

 

[tigercat]

I guess in our case the kids were bullied, and really did not have a great HS experience. So sitting with all these people that bullied you and not having anyone there as your friend really made no sense. Now my one daughter went to her college grad and was happy and excited to go. But the difference was she had a wonderful time in college and had made some really nice friends.
tigercat

 

[Laura66]

OP here - Thank you everyone for your opinions. We made a compromise. He does not have to walk at graduation but he will march with the band one last time for the Memorial Day parade. (optional for seniors).

Many of you asked his reasons - there are many but the main one is he is attending the community college for all his classes this year and really doesn't like those in his class. He has a few friends and sees them regularly. This year he is far removed from high school activities.

Also our hs graduates at an arena 30 minutes away. It seats over 10K. From what I've heard it is very loud, impersonal and you can only see your kid on the jumbotron.

He sounds like a great kid who's got some very valid reasons and I'd definitely be supportive of his decision!

 

[undertheradar]

OP here - Thank you everyone for your opinions. We made a compromise. He does not have to walk at graduation but he will march with the band one last time for the Memorial Day parade. (optional for seniors).

Many of you asked his reasons - there are many but the main one is he is attending the community college for all his classes this year and really doesn't like those in his class. He has a few friends and sees them regularly. This year he is far removed from high school activities.

Also our hs graduates at an arena 30 minutes away. It seats over 10K. From what I've heard it is very loud, impersonal and you can only see your kid on the jumbotron.

Glad it worked out for you!

 

[Laura66]

We all have to do things in life that we don't WANT to do. We all work with people we don't like. We have customers/clients we don't care for. We have to make tough decisions. It doesn't mean you can just take your ball and go home becuase you don't want to play anymore. It's called LIFE. Suck it up. 2 hours of your life and you might just get something out of it.

I'm almost always the first to say suck it up buttercup! You're right! In life you often have to things you don't like or don't want to do!

But that's not the case here. The op's son has given this matter some serious thought and does not feel comfortable going and does not wish to go. If it's not REQUIRED then why should be forced to participat in something he really feels strongly against!

And yes - you can look at his high school experience as a family collaboration - and sure as parents we give up our time and money to support and help them. But ultimately if they didn't do the main work in school they wouldn't have graduated! And while my husband and would be very disappointed - we just aren't fans of putting "conditions" on choices our children make - or feel they "owe" us for the things we do or give them.

 

[penn19]

I guess in our case the kids were bullied, and really did not have a great HS experience. So sitting with all these people that bullied you and not having anyone there as your friend really made no sense. Now my one daughter went to her college grad and was happy and excited to go. But the difference was she had a wonderful time in college and had made some really nice friends.
tigercat

Yea, no kidding. For all of those kids that had glowing hs experiences, and multiple awards etc…..there were those kids that were bullied and made to feel less than those kids. Some kids just want to get through hs and be done with it and never look behind.

One of my kids didn't want to walk. I discussed it with him and in the end he decided to go. I think we could have done without it.

 

[tcherjen]

Mine is gradauting this year. She only had two classes to attend and chose to take them thru Florida Virtual School. She will be done well before May graduation and does not want to walk either. I'm not pushing it, as it is up to her.