HS Graduation - NOT

[aprilgail2]

Every student should have this opportunity. He will regret it later in life. It's 2 hours out of his day. Once in a lifetime. I would be dragging my child down that aisle...........

I never regretted it. I was SO happy to be the heck out of there I ran and never looked back! I even graduated a year ahead of time just to get out!

I don't know where some of you live, but is it really an OPTION to attend your only high school graduation ceremony?

This completely shocks me.

There is no rule saying you have to walk. Lots of kids don't bother with it. It does cause a lot of issues with some families since you get 2 tickets and a lot of times mom will keep both (since they are sent to the house the child lives at) for her and stepdad and dad will not have any ticket to attend. Some get ticked because grandma and grandpa cant come but there is not room for the entire family of every kid that walks there!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well....in all fairness, if you think his reasons are valid, then I suppose that is good enough for me.

Here in this family it is not an option. You are going.

I do have to say that my dd who graduated in 2009 made my parents and dh's mom so proud. She knew how important it was to the family. My dh never graduated from HS. It was a big deal to him.

Youngest graduates in 2015.

 

[mumto3girls]

I attended my high school graduation, but not my college. My cousin was getting married several states away the same day and I chose the wedding. No regrets. Not sure if I would have regretted my high school graduation.

 

[Jeafl]

My son skipped his because he was on the track team and he qualified for the state meet, which just happened to be the same day as graduation.

At first I was devastated, but it was much more important to him that he be at the state meet with his friends and teammates. In the end I got over it, and his coach had a small ceremony for the seniors at the Olive Garden after the meet. It wasn't what I wanted for him, but he loved the small celebration and said he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

He's a junior in college now and has no regrets, and I am positive he never will. I say let your son do things the way he wants, the way that is most meaningful to him. I do understand how you feel though.

 

[mhfrau]

My son skipped his because he was on the track team and he qualified for the state meet, which just happened to be the same day as graduation.

At first I was devastated, but it was much more important to him that he be at the state meet with his friends and teammates. In the end I got over it, and his coach had a small ceremony for the seniors at the Olive Garden after the meet. It wasn't what I wanted for him, but he loved the small celebration and said he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

He's a junior in college now and has no regrets, and I am positive he never will. I say let your son do things the way he wants, the way that is most meaningful to him. I do understand how you feel though.

Jeafl, totally off topic, but did I miss your annual Christmas Post?! My house has been looking for to our annual pee in the pants laugh-fest

 

[MamaLema]

I didn't attend mine. My reasons were I hated high school and wouldn't have had anyone attend and I thought it would be too painful to watch joyous families taking pictures when mine weren't there.

I have never regretted it.

 

[zurgswife]

If he has valid reasons then I think it should be respected. I attended mine have no pictures and really don't remember it. So, not attending really wouldn't have been very different. I graduated with 500+ kids in a very large stadium and my parents probably couldn't even see me very well.

 

[CPT Tripss]

It was required at my high school. No walk=no diploma

No diploma = no big deal. I never had to show my HS Diploma (same can be said of my undergrad and grad degrees) no anyone . . . Not my college, not my grad school, not the US Army, not any of my employers, not the licensing board, no one.

As a side note, I went to grad school at a university that required attendance at graduation to get a copy of the degree. Graduation ceremony was in Feb and we had the snowstorm of the century (20th) and graduation was cancelled. Degrees were mailed out when the cap and gown was returned. My degree was less impressive looking than my HS diploma . We were informed that we could march in the Spring graduation . . . almost all of the undergrads and more than half of the grad students opted to march. That really surprised me . . .

 

[LSmith]

I skipped both my high school and university graduations. I just couldn't bear going through that useless nonsense.

My oldest skipped his high school graduation and also his first degree graduation. He had no idea I skipped mine.

Let him be his own person and respect him.

 

[LSmith]

That sounds like the loaded bag of bs my college tried to pull on me. I went to two graduations (one was specialized) and we were told we would get our diplomas that day if we went..... nope, it was just to make their attendance look good.

You have the requirements to graduate I really dont think any authority figure of the HS can hold your diploma for a stupid reason.

I agree.

 

[DVC-Don]

My last kid graduated HS four years ago I could not wait to get out of the place. What a joke compared to 1971 when I graduated HS. Yelling kids and parents. Even parents with air horns. Come on! But then again, I graduated from two colleges and skipped both ceremony's.

 

[leebee]

I don't know your son's reasons or circumstances, so it's hard to give decent advice here. However, if it'd been my DD, I'd have been upset if she'd skipped graduation. Even if it wasn't very important to her, it was important to ME. High school graduation is a milestone, and it's one I wanted to see happen. I wanted to see her walk across the stage, get her diploma, smile, and walk on into her future. I wanted the experience of seeing her be acknowledged for her accomplishments, to be proud and filled with love for her on a very special day. Even if she hadn't wanted to go, I hope she'd have listened to my reasons for wanting her to go, and maybe, just maybe, she'd do it for me. Sometimes we need to do things we don't necessarily want to do because having it happen is important to someone we love. I know, many of you will say it's a two-way street, and I agree.

Without knowing OP's son's reasons for not wanting to go to graduation, I can't definitively comment. However, if it's just a "I don't want to, it's not important, it's a waste of my time," etc., kind of argument, I hope that he'd consider seeing her side… if it's that important to his mom, maybe he could do this for her. Learning to do benign things that we might not necessarily want to do is a lesson in adulthood. Sometimes, the benefits of doing something for someone else outweighs personal wants.

 

[momto2girls]

I disagree. This isn't just about the student, but his ENTIRE FAMILY. This is a major milestone, and I'm quite sure every mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, uncle, sister, brother, aunt has waited a very long time to share in this special moment.

For HIGH SCHOOL graduation? Really? I'm surprised. High school graduation is such a minor accomplishment in my family. I mean, doesn't virtually everyone get a high school diploma these days? Now, college is considered a much bigger accomplishment to us.

I did go to my high school graduation. I really don't remember much of it at all. I could have happily skipped it.

OP, I think your DS should be able to make the call. If he has good reasons, I'd let him skip.

 

[tigercat]

None of my 3 kids went to grad and they have never regretted it. They did not have a great high school experience and were just glad to get out of it.
They are all in their 30's.
tigercat

 

[skoi]

Our kids are homeschooled, but went through a homeschool diploma program. Oldest dd didn't want to go to her graduation (just wanted the party)-- but dh wanted her to do it. So we drove two plus hours out to Harrisburg, PA, sat through the ceremony, and it was a big meh. Having a party with all the friends, mentors, and family members was much more rewarding, and much better end to her high school days than a ceremony-- because it was with people who were important to her. Maybe being homeschooled makes this different? I don't know.

Oldest ds is a sophomore. He's already said he's not interested in going to the ceremony. So we respect that.

I do understand the pull-- he has valid reasons and I respect that vs as a proud mom I want to see it. My dh felt the same way. Me-- ehh. It just took six hours or so away from my pre-party prep time.

 

[tara lynn]

I didn't want to go to mine, but ended up giving in and going because my dad wanted me to go. He ended up having to work that day and wasn't there anyway. I don't feel like I would have missed anything by not attending. It was long and boring. I met up with my close friends afterwards for lunch and that was far more memorable than anything that happened at the ceremony.

I also chose not to attend my college graduation. I have no regrets about it. I was proud of myself for getting my degree but ceremonies just aren't a big deal to me.

 

[tina.tina]

For HIGH SCHOOL graduation? Really? I'm surprised. High school graduation is such a minor accomplishment in my family. I mean, doesn't virtually everyone get a high school diploma these days? Now, college is considered a much bigger accomplishment to us.

I did go to my high school graduation. I really don't remember much of it at all. I could have happily skipped it.

OP, I think your DS should be able to make the call. If he has good reasons, I'd let him skip.

I am currently sitting through an education class right now that says no, not everyone gets a high school diploma. The statistics vary from state to state. Like everything else, every family's circumstance is not the same. As a former SNAP benefits worker, it shocked me how many young people don't finish high school, live out on their own- sometimes in group situations, with a friend's family, or just wherever someone will just let them stay.

I once met someone whose parents just moved away and left him here. He was 17 and said he didn't want to move so they just left. He had a mattress on the floor and a tv/game system. The landlord kindly let him live there until he was able to finish remodeling the house and sell it. He was actually still trying to go to school, too.

 

[SeaSpray]

My younger DS graduated college last year. A few months before graduation he told us that he didn't want to attend the ceremony. He said that the university mails the degree afterwards, and there are so many people, so why bother going.

My DH and I told him that the graduation ceremony was for US, not him. LOL We gave up a lot to pay for his education and all we asked in return (other than him passing his classes, of course) was that we be able to see him in his cap and gown and hear his name and degree announced.

He didn't argue with that, and in the end he was very happy and excited on the day he graduated.


Like a PP said, it's not a bad thing to do something benign, in order to make someone happy. My DS really didn't have what I'd call "valid" reasons to not go.

OP: Not knowing your DS's reasons, I don't know how I would react in that exact situation. My DS loved school and excelled; he had a lot of good friends; was receiving awards, etc, so he really did not have any valid reasons for not wanting to go, other than that he can be a bit of a homebody at times.


P.S. My DS didn't want a big graduation party for HS or for college; we did respect those wishes and only had small parties for him, immediate family, and his close friends. High school party was at home; college party was in a private room at his favorite local restaurant. He enjoyed those.

 

[mrsklamc]

Every student should have this opportunity. He will regret it later in life. It's 2 hours out of his day. Once in a lifetime. I would be dragging my child down that aisle...........

Why?

I really doubt he will. There are people who just don't value pomp and circumstance. I'm one of them. I don't regret events I skipped (sr. prom, college graduation #1) at all. What I do regret is letting myself be pressured into stuff I knew I didn't want to do (wedding instead of eloping, college graduation #2), because people just refused to believe that I truly was not interested.

 

[maelstrom]

No high school graduation, prom, or homecoming here. Never regretted it for one minute. My ten year reunion is this year and I might go.

I do need to clarify, even though it doesn't change my opinion. I left public high school after tenth grade and homeschooled junior and senior year in one calendar year. By the time what would've been my high school graduation rolled around, I was already in college. I went and watched my friends graduate and so did my parents. It was nice to enjoy that time with them. But I *never* wanted to take part in it, and I *never* regretted it. I hate all that pomp-and-circumstance and all eyes on me. I kept my wedding extremely tiny for the same reason.