How would you sort this out?

Discussion in 'UK Community Board' started by Neoshoegal, Jun 2, 2009.

  1. Neoshoegal

    Neoshoegal would rather be in Walt Disney World

    May 19, 2005
    About 2 summers ago, friends of ours borrowed a big gazebo from us to use at their son's christening party. They had set it up in the morning, then went to church for the christening and when they got back, there had been a serious gust of wind and the gazebo had come loose and was flung into the neighbour's garden. The poles of a the gazebo were now bend so could no longer be used or fixed.
    DH was at the christening (he's one of the godparents), they apologised profusely on the day, but he said not to worry about it that day and we'll sort something afterwards (he just didn't want to burden them with something on their son's special day). Seeing as it wasn't a cheap gazebo (cost us around £80), we did feel like they owed us something.

    However, we hardly ever get to see them (we invite them over quite often, but they hardly ever have time, I think we managed to see them once last year, and we still have the birthday and Christmas present from last December). So that gazebo isn't usually the first thing we think about.

    A few weeks ago I invited them to my birthday party which is this coming Saturday. Unfortunately, they can't make it again due to a wedding they have to go to. So I emailed her back to ask about the gazebo. She hasn't replied. DH has now been trying a few times to contact her on her home and mobile number, left a message and sent a text, but again, still no reply.
    The party is on Saturday and a gazebo would come in handy, but I'm finding it hard to find the extra money especially since we actually used to have the perfect one. I saw one I like, which comes in at just under £50 (so less than what we paid for the original one, it's also smaller). I would actually want them to pay for it, but how do you go about telling them that.

    If the same thing would have happened to us, if we had borrowed the gazebo from them, I would have made sure I paid for it asap.
  2. Goofysmate

    Goofysmate <font color=red>Isn't fussed where she is, as long

    Jan 6, 2007
    This is a tricky one.
    I would feel the same way if i was you and would like them to pay for a replacement or at least something towards a new one.
    Sound like your friend are trying hard to avoid you & dh.

    Sadly it does'nt seem like your going to get anywhere with a replacement from them.
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  4. wilma-bride

    wilma-bride <<This space intentionally blank>> Moderator

    Jul 13, 2005
    I am with you (and Gill) in that, had it been me that borrowed the gazebo, I would have paid for a replacement ASAP. However, given that this was 2 years ago now (and not knowing whether the whole thing has been mentioned at all in the last couple of years), chances are they probably thought you weren't that bothered and your chances of getting anything out of them are probably fairly slim.

    Personally, I would just buy the new gazebo and be a bit more choosy about who I lent it to in the future ;)
  5. Lizzybear

    Lizzybear DIS Veteran

    Jul 23, 2006
    After 2 years I think the time for initiating any sort of renumeration has passed unfortunately, or at least that's how i'd feel in the same situation and would worry it would cause bad feeling. I understand it's annoying though.. The bf lent a phone car mount to a friend who broke it and never even offered to buy a new one, maybe he thought it was cheap (not really, £20ish!) but still.
  6. shellbell

    shellbell <font color=teal>When it rains, it pours</font><fo

    Mar 7, 2004
    I hope you manage to get this sorted! I would of had to of paid up straight away or at least replaced it. I do have to agree with others though that is doesn't look positive that you will get a new Gazebo from them by Saturday.
    I'm sure you will have a fabulous party though:)
  7. joolz1910

    joolz1910 <font color=green>I would have gone down to recept

    Aug 24, 2008
    This is the sort of thing that happens to me and it really winds me up. They should have paid for it but it's really unlikely that you'll ever get anything from them. They don't sound like good friends (sorry to say that) so I would just cut them loose, and cut your losses.

    I hope you have a fab party.:goodvibes
  8. Ware Bears

    Ware Bears Bring me that horizon Moderator

    Jan 23, 2003
    I would also have had to replace the gazebo straight away ~ I think it's highly unlikely you're going to get any joy from them, sadly I think you'll just have to chalk this up to experience.

    Hope you have a fabulous party. :)
  9. Snowy-girls

    Snowy-girls Did you speak to a 'human being'

    May 27, 2007
    Unfortunatley i think you have left it far too late now,then again they should have replaced it when it happened.x.
  10. Mrs Dazzle

    Mrs Dazzle <font color=009900>Florida-mad (well, mad full sto

    Mar 9, 2002
    We always have a bit of a halloween/fireworks 'do' in our garden (80-100 people!) and a few years ago we borrowed BIL's large marquee type gazebo. Unfortunately, it was very wet and windy in the early hours of the morning and the weight of the water bent several of the poles:blush::blush:

    BIL was fine about it, like you, and we offered to replace them. We had enormous trouble doing this, but did so as soon as we could get hold of them. We now have our own gazebos and would hope if someone borrows them and they get damaged they would replace like we did, it's only common courtesy at the end of the day:flower3:

    You seem to be doing all you can - short of paying them a visit, I don't really know what else you can do.

    Good luck getting it sorted, how frustrating.
  11. natalielongstaff

    natalielongstaff <font color=deeppink>I need a cup of tea and a big

    Apr 7, 2004
    I agree, they dont seem to want to pay up !
  12. Dimplenose

    Dimplenose Stranger from the outside

    Apr 2, 2002
    Or they misinterpreted your DHs original "Don't worry about it now."

    They are probably feeling very uncomfortable now that you've brought the matter up again.

    I think you should decide how much your friendship means and work out whether or not that needs rebuilding and accept that you probably won't get them to replace the gazebo.
  13. UKDEB

    UKDEB Moderator Emeritus Moderator

    Jul 7, 2000
    Two years is too long to resurrect this - it should have been broached at the time, or very soon after. We've been on the receiving end of this type of thing on several occasions and, although we've been pretty annoyed at the time, it's all water under the bridge now. My advice is to let it go; to genuinely forget about it - you'll feel much better in the end. It's just life and not worth getting into a stew over, IMO. Things simply aren't always the way we want them to be. Will you actually feel any better if they buy a new gazebo?
  14. madmumof2

    madmumof2 DIS Veteran

    Jun 6, 2008
    I think it's definitely too late now. Personally, if I was on the other end I would have offered to get a new one, but if I had lent them the gazebo and this happened, I would be upset at the loss of £80 but I wouldn't have expected them to pay.

    It wasn't their fault after all, just an accident. And accident that would have happened if you had it up in your garden at the time. I would let it go. £80 is not enough money to potentially ruin a friendship.
  15. Tinker74

    Tinker74 <font color=darkorchid>I had goosebumps with the o

    Jan 20, 2006
    I think it should have been sorted out at the time...not two years later when the country in its worst recession for decades and you want the money from them with just a few days notice!

    They could be struggleing to get by...I wouldn't have taken the money of them at the time was an accident and could easily have happened in your own garden. iam sure they thought your "don't worry about it" meant you were fine with it.

    Too be brutally honest...I would be too embarrassed to send them an e mail now two years later requesting £50 with a few days notice.
    They are probabley too stunned to reply.:scared1:

    Please don't take this the wrong way...iam just trying to give my honest opinion:)

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