How to stop gifts at age 21 when others are younger?

[ILoveDisney&Cruising]

Personally, I would get much more enjoyment from a $25 GC from Red Lobster than more "stuff" that I don't need or want.

I completely agree!

I guess I feel like, if we're all just basically swapping $25 (which is what it's boiled down to - I mean, I could go out and buy myself a gift card if I wanted) what's the point? Might as well stop the whole charade. Which I'm all for, too.

Althoughhhhhh ... if they wanted to give me a $25 Disney gift card, I'd be all for that Just kiddin.

I'd still rather go out with the BIL's, SIL's and share a memory together for the same $25.

 

[Dizneydaz]

Our extended family gets together every Christmas Eve and at first all the adults bought for each other and the kids (this is when I was one of them). Then as time went by the adults decided to draw names to minimize the spending and maximize the gift. The kids still got theirs.

As the next generation reached adulthood, we participated in the adult name draw,made us feel adult!

About 15 years or so ago we decided to do an adult gift exchange. The budget is usually $25-$30 or $15-$20 (hosting family sets amount). We still bought for the next generation of kids (oldest now 27, youngest is now 2).

Interesting thing is as my cousin's kids have gotten older they have wanted to get into the adult gift exchange. Sometimes as early as 13 or 14. Once they decide to be in the exchange then they no longer get the kid's gifts. It's just worked out that way.

Now we have some many 3rd generation kids that I think they should have their own gift exchange. Sometimes it's hard to think of something appropriate for a 15 and 71 year old!

I didn't read through the whole thread so I don't know if this was addressed, but I would treat the 21 year old like the rest of the adults, as long as she does the same. I've noticed with the kids (now adults) in our family most of them don't buy gifts for their aunts, uncles, etc. Therefore I don't feel the need to buy ones for the nieces either. Except my oldest one. She spends Christmas with us, as a family, every year and she is involved in all the gift giving. She buys (at least a little something) for everyone, including our $5 stocking gifts. She's a post-grad student and doesn't have a lot of money but she always gets us all something.

 

[Planogirl]

I completely agree!

I guess I feel like, if we're all just basically swapping $25 (which is what it's boiled down to - I mean, I could go out and buy myself a gift card if I wanted) what's the point? Might as well stop the whole charade. Which I'm all for, too.

Althoughhhhhh ... if they wanted to give me a $25 Disney gift card, I'd be all for that Just kiddin.

I'd still rather go out with the BIL's, SIL's and share a memory together for the same $25.

This makes me laugh because my brother and I keep sending each other Amazon cards. We could just keep them but I realize that I would never buy myself a card and this forces me to buy something for myself at Amazon and the same for him. It's all good.

 

[bucket o' butter]

I may be in the minority here but I would just stop it. What do you do for the adults in the family? If you pick names, then include her name in the list. If you bake goods for the adults, bake something for her. If you don't do anything for the adults, then maybe do something special for her (maybe give her a coupon for a special dinner at your place one night) and tell her that it's because she's 21 and won't be getting the "children" gifts any more.

Otherwise, you could potentially be giving her (and the rest of your nieces/nephews) gifts for many more years to come and it'll be harder to justify stopping when they're 23 or 32 or.....

Helen

I agree with this completely. We had a rule of age 18 in our family. It was difficult for me to stop giving gifts to my nieces and nephews when they turned 18, but since everyone knew about it in advance, there were no hard feelings. But I wouldn't see there being a problem of buying a small gift (lotion, soaps, etc) for her though.