Rather than trying to figure comparative costs and break-even points, the comparison I would make in your particular case is between
DVC and the beach house.
In fact, I would tell him you want the beach house -- let's get it. But tell him you are never going to get the dream beach house unless you sit down and start doing some planning, budgeting and saving to make it happen. Doing nothing, in ten years he will just say, "Hey...I wanted to do it, but we just can't afford it
right now."
So sit down and really try to figure out what it would cost to buy and maintain a beach house for, say, ten years. That will be a big, ugly number, I'm sure. If it seems realistic, you have to start saving...which means cutting back, making sacrifices for the privilege of being locked into the same vacation every year, and the same weekends maintaining the place...assuming it doesn't get washed away in a hurricane. (You
DO live in NC, after all.)
Or...you could consider DVC. Just consider it. Rent points for a DVC stay. Live large and get a one bedroom just for the two of you.
Let him play golf one day while you lay out at the pool or do a spa treatment. Go see Cirque du Soleil. Have dinner at Le Cellier (Epcot-Canada). Do a theme park or two. Let him play golf again. When he complains about the green fees, casually mention that he could be paying a
LOT less if you were DVC members. When he complains about the $75 fee for an II exchange, mention all the money he's saving on golf. Or offer to pay the $75 yourself for any trips you take to II exchanges. You won't take any, so it's a safe offer.
You might also casually mention the two great beach houses you will have -- Hilton Head and Vero. You might also mention that you won't have to fix the broken stuff or board them up when hurricanes threaten.
Then, on your last day, take a couple of hours and go over to Saratoga Springs for the tour. There is absolutely no pressure, no hype, no BS. Just go look around, get the accurate information, and go home and talk it over. You don't have to make a decision with a guide breathing down your neck; go home, relax, and then talk about it.
When he evaluates the cost/benefits of DVC vs. the beach house, he'll come around.