How to ruin your relationship with your daughter, ...

[BigAlsGal]

Father is right.

Actions have consequences.

I hope he loses his parental rights. Poor thing.

 

[LSUmiss]

Absolutely nothing? What if the girl decided she wanted short hair while with dad but didn't want to face her mom and blamed it on dad & step mom?

There's something huge missing out of this story. I don't know what it is or if it excuses the father's behavior, but once again, we only have one side to the story. I'd like to hear what the dad says happened before bringing out the tar and feathers.

Oh come on. That’s a stretch, huh? Even if she wanted short hair & didn’t want to tell her mom, I doubt she wanted it cut by her dad & stepmom...to look like that!

 

[cabanafrau]

Father is right.

Actions have consequences.

I hope he loses his parental rights. Poor thing.

I don't know that this necessarily rises to termination at this point. At this point IMO you restrict his access and ability to control. He should be required to continue providing financially for her -- including seeing to it that she has access to a counselor in regards to issues surrounding this incident.

 

[sam_gordon]

Oh come on. That’s a stretch, huh? Even if she wanted short hair & didn’t want to tell her mom, I doubt she wanted it cut by her dad & stepmom...to look like that!

Of course it's a stretch. But when you speak in absolutes, you can get burned. You're still assuming the dad & stepmom cut her hair and didn't take her to a salon or anything.

Oh, I know...

 

[NYCgrrl]

Amazing the things people go off into an uproar about. The chances of me dropping into the middle of child upbringing on this level are minimal.
There are often 2 sides (and sometimes more) to every story.
I need to hear more from at least one side.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I am not excusing the father's behavior, but...

I wonder if the 13-year-old daughter was told by the father not to get highlights or that he wanted to discuss it with her first, and then either...

1. she did not disclose that information to the mother, OR

2. she did disclose it, and the mother proceeded to do it anyway.

Again, I'm not excusing the father's behavior, but miscommunication and vindictiveness are not unknown among ex-spouses.

I'm not excusing the father's behavior but..... Insert excuses here.

 

[LAB81018]

I would consider this an outright assault.

Also isn’t 13 about the age that courts begin allowing children more say in visitation?

 

[LSUmiss]

Of course it's a stretch. But when you speak in absolutes, you can get burned. You're still assuming the dad & stepmom cut her hair and didn't take her to a salon or anything.

Oh, I know...

Well let’s say this....IF they cut her hair themselves as has been reported, then there is absolutely no justification for their behavior. Sometimes there are absolutes. Not often, I agree, but sometimes IMO.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Children are used as a weapon for court hearings. And children should not have to make choices like that. And when one parent is bad mouthing the other you teach your children how to do this in relationships. And this child is hurting inside from all of this. If you want respect you need to respect in turn. Parents are not meant to be our friend. They are their to teach, nurture, and discipline, love , and guide them. This goes beyond just hair issues. I am not directing this at anyone in peticular in here.

 

[Turn the Page]

It is so unbelievable that parents are so blindly revengeful that they do not see how it hurts their child.

My great-niece is currently at WDW with her father, his new girlfriend and her kids, his mom, sister and niece and nephew.
My niece wanted to go along, since this was her dream too to take their dd to WDW. She felt they could co-parent and get along.
Her ex-husband said absolutely not. Same with her ex-mother in law. My niece is so saddened that she was thrown out of all
family gatherings. She understands, but she was not the one that wanted the divorce and she feels she was thrown out like trash.

I can see how the revenge of hurting starts.

I know this is off topic but I'm curious. Why would your niece expect to be able to go on vacation with her ex and his family and new girlfriend? I know you said she wasn't the one who wanted the divorce and I know there are some divorced families that still vacation together but that is very rare. Why would she think she would be welcomed on her ex's family trip?

 

[NYCgrrl]

Children are used as a weapon for court hearings. And children should not have to make choices like that. And when one parent is bad mouthing the other you teach your children how to do this in relationships. And this child is hurting inside from all of this. If you want respect you need to respect in turn. Parents are not meant to be our friend. They are their to teach, nurture, and discipline, love , and guide them. This goes beyond just hair issues.

Not ALL children are used as a weapon for court hearings. And I don't know if this child is hurting inside even though I saw a picture of her crying. Is she crying because her mother made her feel bad OR her father? or something completely different? Haven't heard a word on that. Agreeing that the choices parents make whilst guiding their children goes way past hair issues.

 

[JaxDad]

I'm not excusing the father's behavior but..... Insert excuses here.

Not excuses. I just want to actually think about what happened, and maybe doing so can inform others. We spend lots of time trying to understand criminals, terrorists, etc for generally the same reason.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

I would consider this an outright assault.

Also isn’t 13 about the age that courts begin allowing children more say in visitation?

I believe so yes. I am thinking since he and his new wife were put on administrative leave, they had enough of a case that warranted that action. This small thing of his daughter getting highlights and his reaction are going to have far more consequences that he intended when he chopped her hair off. Not only his relationship with his daughter but looks like both of their jobs are at stake. I guess his daughter will learn yes there are consequences but also consequences fit the "crime" and he went too far with his control issues of what she did with her hair.

 

[Mermaid02]

I would like to hear from the father and stepmother... so I can detest them a little bit more. I find the level of control that he and his new wife feel they need over this girl disturbing- her hair looked nice and it's her mother's right to pay to have it highlighted if the girl requested it. It's not like she signed for her to get a tattoo.

 

[Skellingtonj]

I am not excusing the father's behavior, but...

I wonder if the 13-year-old daughter was told by the father not to get highlights or that he wanted to discuss it with her first, and then either...

1. she did not disclose that information to the mother, OR

2. she did disclose it, and the mother proceeded to do it anyway.

Again, I'm not excusing the father's behavior, but miscommunication and vindictiveness are not unknown among ex-spouses.

It’s hair!!!! She’s 13. The dad completely overreacted. And is just an a hole imho. No snark to this poster

 

[Pink Partridge]

I wonder if it really happened? Is that really her in the pics? Face is covered. Did she cut her own hair and make up this story?

Mother seems nuts. Attention seeker.

Didn't have custody of daughter. Set up a YouCaring page right away to the tune of $5000. It got shut down.

Arguing with other Facebook posters. Showing picture of daughter who is now wearing an ill fitting wig.

All so fishy.

 

[Skellingtonj]

I would like to hear from the father and stepmother... so I can detest them a little bit more. I find the level of control that he and his new wife feel they need over this girl disturbing- her hair looked nice and it's her mother's right to pay to have it highlighted if the girl requested it. It's not like she signed for her to get a tattoo.

Agree times a million. Glad they are being investigated

 

[mousefan73]

I dont know about this story... Mom documents the whole drama with pictures and posts??? I have an almost 13 yrs old DD... 1. no way in heck would she sit still enough for such a haircut, 2 NOT get help to call me to or use her phone to call to ask me to come get her.

And if this were true, would the teenager be ok with having her mom posts the whole ordeal???

 

[Turn the Page]

I wonder if it really happened? Is that really her in the pics? Face is covered. Did she cut her own hair and make up this story?

Mother seems nuts. Attention seeker.

Didn't have custody of daughter. Set up a YouCaring page right away to the tune of $5000. It got shut down.

Arguing with other Facebook posters.

All so fishy.

I can't say I have seen as much on the story as you have but something smells fishy to me too. I think there is a lot more to this story that we don't know yet.

 

[Mermaid02]

http://www.wtol.com/story/37412400/...ent-members-put-on-leave-during-investigation

Here is what appears to be a local article