How to ruin your relationship with your daughter, ...

[Pink Partridge]

Also, what hairdresser would cut the hair of a crying, protesting 13 year old? Fishy, fishy, fishy.

The Team Kelsey Facebook page has her mom posing with the daughter and this god awful wig.

Mom is really hamming it up. Selfie time!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

I know this is off topic but I'm curious. Why would your niece expect to be able to go on vacation with her ex and his family and new girlfriend? I know you said she wasn't the one who wanted the divorce and I know there are some divorced families that still vacation together but that is very rare. Why would she think she would be welcomed on her ex's family trip?

I also wondered this...
If she wanted to take her daughter to WDW, then she should have done this, on her own.
I am not getting the expectation for her to be able to join her Ex on his family trip.

 

[Turn the Page]

Also, what hairdresser would cut the hair of a crying, protesting 13 year old? Fishy, fishy, fishy.

The Team Kelsey Facebook page has her mom posing with the daughter and this god awful wig.

Mom is really hamming it up. Selfie time!!

Just in the few pictures I have seen Mom seemed to be hamming it up in selfies, I haven't seen the Team Kelsey facebook page.

I wondered about the short haircut. Part of me thinks it looks professionally done and part of me thinks it was a sloppy job. I know if I tried to cut DD's hair, or anyone else's for that matter, it wouldn't look anywhere close to that good.

I do kind of wonder at giving a 13 year old highlights for her birthday. Don't get me wrong, I had highlights for years but I was paying the bill myself. I finally quit doing them because it takes a lot of upkeep. You have to keep getting them done every 6-8 weeks or so to keep them looking good. I can't imagine spending $80 some odd bucks on a 13 year olds hair every 2 months.

 

[Turn the Page]

I also wondered this...
If she wanted to take her daughter to WDW, then she should have done this, on her own.
I am not getting the expectation for her to be able to join her Ex on his family trip.

Or how not letting mom tag along is somehow taking revenge on mom and hurting the child.

 

[Wishing on a star]

About what happened to this girl and her hair.
Of course, there is a LOT that we do not know.

I just wanted to say this. Controlling people, such as this father seems to be, manage to be able to have a lot of control and absolute submission from their children.
That is just the way it is.
Children in controlling abusive situations do not always have the ability to say or do anything.... They are like 'paralyzed'.

I, personally, know of a girl who had divorced parents, and a controlling and psychologically abusive father.
At the age of 13, not only would she never have been able to 'protest'... But, this went on until her18th birthday.
There was court-ordered shared custody. Every other week.
Her mother actually set up a couple of court interviews, where she could have requested that she no longer wanted to be in her fathers custody... But, both times, she simply could not do it.
She clammed up and was psychologically paralyzed.

Thank goodness... She has not even spoken with her father, at all, since her 18th birthday. Which has been quite some time ago.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Nope, turning the page, that is not what I am seeing.
Not at all.
The Ex, and his family and step/adopted kids, have every right to vacation without his EX there. Just the very thought that an 'EX' had to be welcomed to everything??? That is very very troubling.

If the mother had indicated to her child that maybe she could go on the trip with them, but big, bad, daddy, said 'no'... That is all on the mother. 100%

 

[sk!mom]

I didn't say they explained what was done. I only wondered one scenario. I can't believe this happened completely out of the blue. I'm free to speculate on these boards aren't I?

No doubt the dad wasn't on board with the hair change but what he did was abusive. This girl should not ever be left alone with him or the Step mom again. Clearly they do not have her best at heart and will go as far as abuse to punish mom when the parents disagree.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I do kind of wonder at giving a 13 year old highlights for her birthday. Don't get me wrong, I had highlights for years but I was paying the bill myself. I finally quit doing them because it takes a lot of upkeep. You have to keep getting them done every 6-8 weeks or so to keep them looking good. I can't imagine spending $80 some odd bucks on a 13 year olds hair every 2 months.

There are more than a few oddities about the story, or the telling of the story, I should say. But the cost is definitely not one of them. Although you might not be willing or able to spend that amount on your kid's hair doesn't mean that others can't or won't.

 

[Turn the Page]

Nope, turning the page, that is not what I am seeing.
Not at all.
The Ex, and his family and step/adopted kids, have every right to vacation without his EX there. Just the very thought that an 'EX' had to be welcomed to everything??? That is very very troubling.

If the mother had indicated to her child that maybe she could go on the trip with them, but big, bad, daddy, said 'no'... That is all on the mother. 100%

Like I said originally, I know there are some divorced families that do vacation together but I always wonder about those. I mean really, if you get along so well that you can happily vacation together then I have to wonder if you really should have gotten divorced in the first place....or maybe it just means they are incredibly mature people, I don't know.

What I do know is if, before he passed away, my ex ever asked to join us on vacation the answer would have been a resounding NO and if DH's ex asked to join us on vacation there is no way I would be comfortable with that. Maybe I'm just not as mature as the divorced couples who do still travel together.

 

[Wishing on a star]

MTE Exactly!!!!

 

[brockash]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/whats-hot/dad-chops-off-teen-daughter’s-hair-after-mom-gets-her-highlights-for-birthday/ar-BBIJiFU?li=BBnbfcL

This father got mad that his daughter got highlights for her birthday and he and his new wife chopped all her hair off.

Wow, how disgusting and ignorant. They both seem to be selfish pieces of crap...yet they get to be parents/step parents.

 

[robinb]

According to the mom's sister on Team Kelsey FB page the dad said she had lice so they had to cut her hair. That's his lame excuse: lice.

I wonder how Kelsey stood still for having her hair cut. My DD wouldn't at that age. I wonder if they did it in her sleep.

I also found a cache of the old FB funding request made by the sister. It said:

so on Kelsey's 13th birthday it was in January, she asked her mom for highlights. No big deal, highlights right? WRONG!!! Her own father and stepmom decided to cut her hair because 'actions have consequences' quoting her stepmom... now I will remind you they only have temporary custody, but my niece Kelsey has been struggling with her dad and stepmom for a while now, reports have been made. Child Services were involved, and a few other people were involved too... nobody has done anything and this happens!!! over some highlights this is wrong! this is emotional abuse!!!! worse than physical abuse!!!! my niece needs to get away from her dad and stepmom!!!! if they are willing to do this, what's next? I don't want to find out. I need to get my niece out of there!!!! if anybody is willing to help please do so!!! I don't know how much it's going to cost for a lawyer, I do know they aren't cheap! but anything will help!

 

[Mermaid02]

If she had lice the salon that did the highlights would have known it.

 

[LSUmiss]

According to the mom's sister on Team Kelsey FB page the dad said she had lice so they had to cut her hair. That's his lame excuse: lice.

I wonder how Kelsey stood still for having her hair cut. My DD wouldn't at that age. I wonder if they did it in her sleep.

I also found a cache of the old FB funding request made by the sister. It said:

Not that it would be ok if she did, but it’s doubtful b/c the salon doing he highlights would have seen that most likely.

 

[robinb]

Yes, of course the salon would have seen the lice!

FWIW, the dad was charged with Domestic Violence 5 months ago. Go figure.

http://thepolicereporter.com/2017/09/02/schaffen-frederick/

 

[LSUmiss]

Yes, of course the salon would have seen the lice!

FWIW, the dad was charged with Domestic Violence 5 months ago. Go figure.

http://thepolicereporter.com/2017/09/02/schaffen-frederick/

Interesting. Makes the story seems less fishy.

 

[Mermaid02]

Yes, of course the salon would have seen the lice!

FWIW, the dad was charged with Domestic Violence 5 months ago. Go figure.

http://thepolicereporter.com/2017/09/02/schaffen-frederick/

Wow. Sure gives the Mom's story a bit of a boost, and also might explain the girl's reluctance to "fight back".

 

[tzolkin]

I dont know about this story... Mom documents the whole drama with pictures and posts??? I have an almost 13 yrs old DD... 1. no way in heck would she sit still enough for such a haircut, 2 NOT get help to call me to or use her phone to call to ask me to come get her.

And if this were true, would the teenager be ok with having her mom posts the whole ordeal???

I agree about the posting online. It’s certainly something I would never do. But, it is the norm for some people to share every detail and drama going on in their lives on social media.

I also agree about the likely reaction the child had to the haircut. (I also have a 13yo DD) Which is why, if true, I find the situation much worse than just the humiliation. That BOTH the father and step-mother cut her hair makes it seem to me like there may have been some assault, struggling, restraining going on. Since they have been both been put on leave for an investigation, I’m thinking that physical force may have been likely.

And if somehow there was no physical violence involved, that’s an incredibly abusive thing to do regardless.

 

[Hikergirl]

Either way you look at it, it is so blanked up. That poor girl doesn't win any situation, either her dad and step mom assaulted her or her mother is an attention ***** looking for some cash.
I'm kind of inclined to believe that the dad and stepmom here are the POSs. If this is the truth I hope that dad loses custody and only gets supervised visitation, or rather none at all.

 

[Marchand63]

I am not excusing the father's behavior, but...

I wonder if the 13-year-old daughter was told by the father not to get highlights or that he wanted to discuss it with her first, and then either...

1. she did not disclose that information to the mother, OR

2. she did disclose it, and the mother proceeded to do it anyway.

Again, I'm not excusing the father's behavior, but miscommunication and vindictiveness are not unknown among ex-spouses.

They definitely matter. All actions of the parents with regard to children matter.

It's HAIR!!!!!!!!! Sounds like Dad has control issues.