How to handle RSVPs with children when only adults were invited?

[npmommie]

Now the whole thread up til now seems so petty & unimportant to me.

I agree and it was my first thought. I will say a prayer for your mom that she beats this. The odds are in her favor
It just goes to show we should all enjoy family and the time we have together. debates over kids at the party or not seem so trivial when something like this comes up.
enjoy your family all of them that show up invited or not. in the big scheme we all just need to enjoy being with our family in our gatherings.

hope the party is a huge success.

 

[TaraPA]

I agree and it was my first thought. I will say a prayer for your mom that she beats this. The odds are in her favor
It just goes to show we should all enjoy family and the time we have together. debates over kids at the party or not seem so trivial when something like this comes up.
enjoy your family all of them that show up invited or not. in the big scheme we all just need to enjoy being with our family in our gatherings.

hope the party is a huge success.

And that's how we took it when a different cousin showed up with not only her 2 small kids (ages 2 & 4) but her brother's son, age 5.

Now this wasn't the original cousin who wanted to bring the BF's kids - she did come alone, with my aunt & uncle.

This was another cousin who never even RSVP'd at all. I assumed they weren't coming, so imagine my surprise when they came, with 3 little ones in tow. Rude! I shot my mom a look like "are you going to tell them or am I?" And she mouthed "it's fine, say nothing." She was having a really good day, it was the best mood she's been in since her news earlier this week, so I let it go. My uncle did keep them entertained with the lawn sprinkler, and despite one icident where 2 of them were running around my upstairs (my aunt did go get them down promptly), all went well.

The only negative today was that it was SO HOT. Temp was 90 and real feel temp was 96. I am so utterly exhausted I could cry, but everyone had a great time. The food & drink were plentiful & the company even better. I hadn't seen my great aunt in 6 years, and she's so old & frail, I am so glad I got to see her today, knowing it will probably be the last time. We looked at old pictures from when she & my late grandparents were young, it was so much fun. I can't wait to look at the pics that were taken, these will be great memories for us forever. I'll post some later or tomorrow - I'm too tired to think about it now!

Thanks again for all your suggestions & support! Even though I didn't have to pull out the cue cards, I've got them in my pocket for my next event. Oh wait...this was IT!!!

 

[Schmeck]

And that's how we took it when a different cousin showed up with not only her 2 small kids (ages 2 & 4) but her brother's son, age 5.

Now this wasn't the original cousin who wanted to bring the BF's kids - she did come alone, with my aunt & uncle.

Now that would be the conversation I'd like to hear - the original cousin giving the stinkeye to the other rude cousin, with the 3 kisds in tow... Wouldn't it have been funny if the first cousin gave the other cousin a hard time about bringing kids to an all adult party?

Good for your mom (and you) for letting it go - although I'd have been sooooo tempted to speak up. I would have mentioned the stripper and pole dancers that were coming after dinner

Hoping this party was the beginning of a fantastic recovery for your mom - now go to bed and get some sleep!

 

[TaraPA]

Now that would be the conversation I'd like to hear - the original cousin giving the stinkeye to the other rude cousin, with the 3 kisds in tow... Wouldn't it have been funny if the first cousin gave the other cousin a hard time about bringing kids to an all adult party?

I was nervous about that all day! They are not cousins to each other, one is on my mom's side, one on my dad's, and they don't know each other all that well, so I don't think they even spoke to each other.

 

[surfgirl]

Handled well, OP!

I think talking through it with your virtual friends allowed you to think through scenarios so when it actually happened, you could 'roll with it' easier than if it was a total surprise.

It was a hot one today! And the gnats are just nasty this year, aren't they?!?

 

[leebee]

I am so glad everything went well at your party ! Isn't it funny how you can learn the story of one person, who you don't even know, but in random moments the person crosses your mind and you wonder how they are, what they did, how it went, etc.? Here's prayers, wishes, and a healthy dose of for your mom's speedy recovery!

 

[TaraPA]

Here are some random pics - we ended up with 109 & it wasn't crowded at all. Everyone really spread out.

Cars as far as the eye could see...and we live on a SUPER quiet street with very little traffic, it was so strange to see this!

LOL here is the only pic I have with the 3 little ones it that came:

THANKS AGAIN everyone for all the great suggestions. I hope other people also got some good comebacks & replies from this thread, so if they're ever in the same situation they know what to say!

 

[DaisyLynn]

My kind of table!

Glad the day turned out well...I've been following along quietly. You have a lovely home!

 

[leebee]

Oh,man, the food looks terrific! It's making me hungry... and all that's on the menu around here is burgers on the grill and corn on the cob. Glad you had a good party!

 

[MartyM]

House, buffet and especially desert table all look wonderful. Hope the best for your DM.

Good going on getting the kids in the sprinkler. Perfect for uninvited kids and their inconsiderate parents--send them home soaked!!

 

[bellanotte10]

Oh wow that looked fun! And your house is GORGEOUS! I'm glad you guys had fun!

 

[GraysMom]

to you and your mom and the rest of the family. I'm glad the party was a success and your mom was able to enjoy the special day. Sending prayers and to your mom as she makes decisions about her upcoming treatment.

 

[Pamlur]

I was following along, too; there were answers given that were far more tactful than I could have been, so I stilled my typing fingers. I'm so glad it went well, and I'll keep your family in my thoughts.

 

[TaraPA]

I was following along, too; there were answers given that were far more tactful than I could have been, so I stilled my typing fingers. I'm so glad it went well, and I'll keep your family in my thoughts.

LOL same here!!!!

Just back from the oncologist. It's what we expected, nothing better, nothing worse. She does have a cancerous tumor that needs to be taken care of ASAP. The cat scan didn't show that it has spread - which is the good news. He ordered a PET scan for a more definitive answer before going forward. If that comes back clear, she has to decide on radiation & chemo, or major surgery. Unfortunatley from the location of the tumor, besides losing 75% of her ****** (yes the DIS will block that out!) she would also lose part of her colon & rectum, resulting in a bag, which upset her the most. If it doesn't come back clear, that's a whole new ballgame.

So either way we have some major life changes coming our way, and we will just roll with them. Thanks again for all the prayers & support.

 

[yoopermom]

Silent follower of this thread, but wanted to say that your party pictures are great, and that I am sending prayers and positive thoughts for your mom. My DGM was in her early 70s when she was diagnosed similar to your DM, and she adjusted to "life with the bag". I won't say it was easy, but the health professionals who worked with her were *angels*, and she learned "to deal" (as she always said, the alternative was worse!).

Terri

 

[Schmeck]

Just had a graduation party yesterday for my DD18, and was thinking of this thread most of the day! No unexpected guests, and I just looked at everyone and felt so grateful for everyone there. My mom was sick, but she wanted to make an appearance, then slept in her friend's car for a few hours (we checked on her, the dog was out there with her too, LOL!)

It was so much work, it made me even more in awe of you, Tara! We had 1/3 the number of guests, and it wore me out. Still have some cleaning up to do (like, where do you put the extra paper goods and all the other crap my husband had to get?) and I couldn't imagine it being 3X bigger than it was. Add to that the situation with your mom, you are a warrior!

Sending positive vibes and white light that the scans come back clear, and your mom has a quick, effective treatment.

 

[TaraPA]

I am so glad everything went well at your party ! Isn't it funny how you can learn the story of one person, who you don't even know, but in random moments the person crosses your mind and you wonder how they are, what they did, how it went, etc.? Here's prayers, wishes, and a healthy dose of for your mom's speedy recovery!

Just had a graduation party yesterday for my DD18, and was thinking of this thread most of the day! No unexpected guests, and I just looked at everyone and felt so grateful for everyone there. My mom was sick, but she wanted to make an appearance, then slept in her friend's car for a few hours (we checked on her, the dog was out there with her too, LOL!)

It was so much work, it made me even more in awe of you, Tara! We had 1/3 the number of guests, and it wore me out. Still have some cleaning up to do (like, where do you put the extra paper goods and all the other crap my husband had to get?) and I couldn't imagine it being 3X bigger than it was. Add to that the situation with your mom, you are a warrior!

Sending positive vibes and white light that the scans come back clear, and your mom has a quick, effective treatment.

Isn't it funny how we get into a thread & think of it throughout the day? I've done that many times, and especially with this thread! Between the party stress & my mom stress, everyone here was wonderful!

I travel 2x a year to WDW with a FABULOUS group of ladies I met right here on a thread on the DIS many years ago. So there's proof that the DIS brings people together.

Schmeck - I think planning any event, no matter how big or small, just drains you! I was so exhausted that night, I couldn't even talk anymore. I think I was sound asleep by 9pm. (and by the way, my mom took all the extra paper goods for our cabin so I didn't have to worry about them at all. If I were you I'd be using paper products all summer - less dishes for you!)

My mom's at her PET scan right now, we won't have results until Thursday. Ironically, I had my first mammo last week, they just called to come in for more comprehensive scans. I'm sure it's nothing, but but it's always something isn't it?

Hopefully this thread gave a lot of people some really good things to say when faced with univited guests. Thank you again everyone!

 

[Hrhpd]

LOL same here!!!!

Just back from the oncologist. It's what we expected, nothing better, nothing worse. She does have a cancerous tumor that needs to be taken care of ASAP. The cat scan didn't show that it has spread - which is the good news. He ordered a PET scan for a more definitive answer before going forward. If that comes back clear, she has to decide on radiation & chemo, or major surgery. Unfortunatley from the location of the tumor, besides losing 75% of her ****** (yes the DIS will block that out!) she would also lose part of her colon & rectum, resulting in a bag, which upset her the most. If it doesn't come back clear, that's a whole new ballgame.

So either way we have some major life changes coming our way, and we will just roll with them. Thanks again for all the prayers & support.

Well done! Party looked wonderful. I will keep your mom in my thoughts.

As for the bag, reassure her it isn't as bad as it sounds. I had to have a temporary colostomy a few months ago due to a colon blockage. I am currently hanging around the hospital recuperating from having it reversed. But when they got in there, they fixed the colostomy, but ended up giving me an ileostomy. So another bag for another 6 weeks.

Living with the bag really became such a nonissue that we even discussed not going through the major reversal and just living with it. I am an active mom, work in a school district and it never interfered with my life at all. So, tell your Mom it sounds awful, it did to me, but it really was very easy to adapt to.

 

[TaraPA]

HrHpd - that is great news to hear that it didn't affect your life in any major way, or negatively. Kudos to you!!!

Thank you to everyone who sent PMs with reassuring & success stories too - it's wonderful to hear them.

 

[Stupid_Judy]

I was silently following this thread too - man everyone had GREAT replies for her to use!!! Im' pretty outspoken & things would have come out of my mouth that were much worse. Thats probably why I never host things - I get myself in trouble with my mouth.

Glad it went well, sorry about your mom & your mammogram. I'm sure its nothing as well, its not at all uncommon to get called back for a 2nd mammogram, try not to worry. Keep us posted on your results too. I feel like I have to check in with this thread every few days to see whats going on. I think you should just re-name it & we can all have a daily chat!