I am confused and need some advise. I am 45 and just got engaged to my boyfriend of 10 years. We already have a child and own a home together (cart before the horse). This is the first marriage for both of us. I am trying to decide what to do about the wedding. Since I am in my 40's I feel like we should have to scale things back, like having a small ceremony, not have a bridal shower and not register for gifts. Originally I was thinking of having a relatively small wedding that would include parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, first cousins and a few close friends. This would add up to about 70 people for us. Then I got to thinking that I never really speak to my 1st cousins, so do I really need to have them at the wedding? All of our 1st cousins have invited us to their weddings except for one of my cousins who got married for the 2nd time (he still had a big wedding). If I eliminated cousins it would bring the count to about 45. I guess what I am asking for opinions on is because of my age and situation, is it odd (could not think of a better word) if I did the traditional things like have a shower and register? Also, should I keep it small and simple (45 guests) or make it more of a family affair? My fiancé is good with anything. Thanks in advance for your input.