I was a waitress for a few years in college (in secaucus right outside NYC) and was never asked to split the check. We don’t ask the server to split the check, and servers don’t ask. However, I’ve traveled out of this area with other families, and have had it done, and it’s pretty awesome, you can order anything without feeling guilty. I assume restaurants here would be accommodating, but no one would think to ask. I just make sure I have a variety of bills when I go out with others.
I wonder if people in these situations ever actually step back and realize just how small the stakes are? I'd far rather be "happy than right" in situations this petty.Right, in which case, you pay for what you ordered? But I can see it being a problem here, people trying to figure out how much to tip because someone ordered a burger and someone else ordered pasta and there's a $3 difference, so the percentage of the tip is at least thirty cents, it would ruin Christmas.
Yep - this is exactly what we do when we go out with friends and exactly what I'd have done with the babysitter bill. (As to dining out with friends, usually whoever "invites" chooses the restaurant and is picking up the cheque that time.)If I am close enough with someone to share a babysitter, a meal or a vacation rental , I can’t imagine nickel
And diming over the bill.
We would just split 50/50
When dining with another couple that we go out with frequently someone will often pay the entire bill and the other leave the tip. Next time it reverses. We don’t keep a tally!
Exactly this. There has just got to be something else going on between these people if they've actually gone to war over $20 or $30 dollars.Regarding the babysitting, I find the argument totally stupid and childish. It's not like a big sum of money or something. I would do 50/50 but I can see the other way, also. I don't see it as a clear right or wrong way. If it didn't end the way I thought it should then I just wouldn't share again.
I wonder if people in these situations ever actually step back and realize just how small the stakes are? I'd far rather be "happy than right" in situations this petty.
Yep - this is exactly what we do when we go out with friends and exactly what I'd have done with the babysitter bill. (As to dining out with friends, usually whoever "invites" chooses the restaurant and is picking up the cheque that time.)
Exactly this. There has just got to be something else going on between these people if they've actually gone to war over $20 or $30 dollars.
Exactly this. There has just got to be something else going on between these people if they've actually gone to war over $20 or $30 dollars.
I would not make that assumption, at all.This is I guess what I was trying to convey too. It all evens out.
That's the thing it evens out for you. My husband and I wouldn't put up a stink over a few bucks but when the people we're out with end up having a bill that is $20, $30, even $40 MORE than we do.. I think some people think it's just a few bucks for everyone and wonders why people would worry about that. But it's not just a few bucks in our situation.This is I guess what I was trying to convey too. It all evens out. Maybe it is just how we socialize or the point of our lives that we are in, but worrying about a few bucks here and there is not something I am going to worry about.
That's the thing it evens out for you. My husband and I wouldn't put up a stink over a few bucks but when the people we're out with end up having a bill that is $20, $30, even $40 MORE than we do.. I think some people think it's just a few bucks for everyone and wonders why people would worry about that. But it's not just a few bucks in our situation.
My best friend and her husband (pre-baby) spent their $ on eating out and alcohol. Nothing wrong with that but that's not how my husband and I like to spend our money on. They went to Texas Roadhouse and spent something like $65-70 one night. That's over twice the amount my husband and I would normally spend. No way am I going to spend nearly double what our bill would be for the sake of 50/50 split especially consistently. And I don't want anyone we go out to eat with to feel like they have to order 'down' out of consideration for us. Everyone we go out with it's just 'we'll be on a separate check'. It's just normal for us all.
I didn't mean we asked the servers to split the bill and give us separate bills. We get one check and divide it on our own. Sometimes everyone puts in cash other times one person puts it on a card and and everyone else gives them cash.
That's the thing it evens out for you. My husband and I wouldn't put up a stink over a few bucks but when the people we're out with end up having a bill that is $20, $30, even $40 MORE than we do.. I think some people think it's just a few bucks for everyone and wonders why people would worry about that. But it's not just a few bucks in our situation.
My best friend and her husband (pre-baby) spent their $ on eating out and alcohol. Nothing wrong with that but that's not how my husband and I like to spend our money on. They went to Texas Roadhouse and spent something like $65-70 one night. That's over twice the amount my husband and I would normally spend. No way am I going to spend nearly double what our bill would be for the sake of 50/50 split especially consistently. And I don't want anyone we go out to eat with to feel like they have to order 'down' out of consideration for us. Everyone we go out with it's just 'we'll be on a separate check'. It's just normal for us all.
Is it uncommon to ask for separate checks? I don’t think I’ve really encountered that all that much even when dining abroad. I almost always ask at the beginning of the meal for separate checks-it just seems easier.
A server will
Never ask about separate checks. Some
Restaurants have it on their menu that they don’t do it. Not many but you do see it. People just don’t seem to ask around here so it would be weird. I really don’t know why
Yeah I wasn't so much as focusing on the amount so much as to illustrate an example.65 to 75 is my husband and I grabbing a burger and a few beers not going out in my book. It’s all relative to what u are used to spending.
A server will
Never ask about separate checks. Some
Restaurants have it on their menu that they don’t do it. Not many but you do see it. People just don’t seem to ask around here so it would be weird. I really don’t know why.
Almost 20 years ago we did get shocker. Met 2 couples for dinner in manhattan (steakhouse) The one girl ordered the wine for the table and she sure didn’t Pick the cheapest ones! I’m sure we got several bottles. But the cost was
$400 a couple. Lol. We just handed it over but we weren’t quite prepared for that one!
Honestly? Never been around people that expect us to share the costs to that extreme like your wine example. People around me, personally that is, would find that rude and presumptuous. You order the wine for the table it's basically expected to go on your bill (or you to pay for it) unless it's otherwise discussed. Same for apps for instance. If we order apps for the table to share, we pick up the cost of it on our side. We wouldn't order apps for the table and expect others to pick up the tab. If they want to help sure of course but it's not expected.
And here a server will never ask, ever. And it’s very common that when a group of friends or family go out to eat, appetizers for the table are ordered. My cousin has a friend group composed of retired professional athletes, he only goes out to eat with them a couple times a year because his portion of the bill will be several hundred dollars (he can afford it, but he’s a frugal guy). The biggest portion of the bill is wine.Where I live now the servers ALWAYS ask. They ask when it’s a large group, when it’s just my husband and I, and they even ask when I’m out with my college-aged daughter.
In the case of the babysitting if it had been at my house I would have just paid the whole amount. (I had already planned the expense of babysitting for my own kids and the few extra bucks to provide my friends with free childcare would have been a kind gesture.) If I was the parent of the “extra” child I would have offered to pay half.
That said, there must have been some discussion about the cost beforehand for the second couple to even know about the $3 per additional child. So, they should have been more clear if the intention was to split it. Perhaps the way it was phrased suggested that the first couple was already paying the babysitter, “so for just $3 more you could leave Johnny at our house where he would have fun playing with our kids rather than looking for your own sitter.”
And here a server will never ask, ever. And it’s very common that when a group of friends or family go out to eat, appetizers for the table are ordered. My cousin has a friend group composed of retired professional athletes, he only goes out to eat with them a couple times a year because his portion of the bill will be several hundred dollars (he can afford it, but he’s a frugal guy). The biggest portion of the bill is wine.
That makes more sense.Now when I go out with a couple of people, we generally split the bill but no one is freely ordering expensive items and expecting it to be split. If they did, they put in more for their share if the bill without being asked.
It's all over the place really. I'd honestly think that not splitting checks is more concentrated on specific areas (like certain metros for example) rather than the opposite of splitting checks being more concentrated on specific areas if that makes sense.I have noticed being offered or requesting separate checks is more common in the Carolinas, Florida and Tennessee. I'm sure it is in other places too..that's just where I've encountered it the most.