How much should each family pay the baby sitter?

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by kdonnel, Jan 10, 2019.

  1. SharonZ

    SharonZ DIS Veteran

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    I say split the cost, it's still cheaper than using two babysitters. If that's not acceptable, tell couple number 2 to get their own babysitter in the future.
     
  2. msjprincess

    msjprincess DIS Veteran

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    I didn't mean we asked the servers to split the bill and give us separate bills. We get one check and divide it on our own. Sometimes everyone puts in cash other times one person puts it on a card and and everyone else gives them cash.
     
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  4. ronandannette

    ronandannette I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!

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    :scratchin I wonder if people in these situations ever actually step back and realize just how small the stakes are? I'd far rather be "happy than right" in situations this petty.
    Yep - this is exactly what we do when we go out with friends and exactly what I'd have done with the babysitter bill. (As to dining out with friends, usually whoever "invites" chooses the restaurant and is picking up the cheque that time.)
    :thumbsup2 Exactly this. There has just got to be something else going on between these people if they've actually gone to war over $20 or $30 dollars.
     
  5. morgan98

    morgan98 DIS Veteran

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    This is I guess what I was trying to convey too. It all evens out. Maybe it is just how we socialize or the point of our lives that we are in, but worrying about a few bucks here and there is not something I am going to worry about.
     
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  6. Wishing on a star

    Wishing on a star DIS Veteran

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    You are probably right.
    In many of these cases... the one who is "I should pay the small difference..." or "I will cover the tip" or "Let's split 50/50" always end up being the 'moocher'.
    That is just how it goes.
    There are 'takers'.

    I would not make that assumption, at all.

    I am going to just make a guess... because we don't know all of the background and details and other factors... That the couple who is arguing over paying $2.00 instead of $5.00 really has no justification. Like you said, why would anyone want to argue and cause strife over such a small amount.
    I would take a guess that the person who wants it to be even and/or fair has the principle of the matter on their side.
    I can possibly see that the one couple questioning and arguing over such a small amount could be like the last little drop that tipped the bucket.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2019
  7. Wishing on a star

    Wishing on a star DIS Veteran

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    And, just to add.... I can see absolutely no reason why each person/couple/family shouldn't pay exactly what they owe for their meal.
    Unless of course, one has actually offered to 'treat' or help cover it.
    I would def. not frequent any restaurant at all, especially when with other people, if they refuse to give me a check/bill for exactly what I ordered.
    That is not the norm here. And, I can see no real reason or justification why each party should not be able to, have the right to, their own check.
     
  8. Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

    Mackenzie Click-Mickelson DIS Veteran

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    That's the thing it evens out for you. My husband and I wouldn't put up a stink over a few bucks but when the people we're out with end up having a bill that is $20, $30, even $40 MORE than we do.. I think some people think it's just a few bucks for everyone and wonders why people would worry about that. But it's not just a few bucks in our situation.

    My best friend and her husband (pre-baby) spent their $ on eating out and alcohol. Nothing wrong with that but that's not how my husband and I like to spend our money on. They went to Texas Roadhouse and spent something like $65-70 one night. That's over twice the amount my husband and I would normally spend. No way am I going to spend nearly double what our bill would be for the sake of 50/50 split especially consistently. And I don't want anyone we go out to eat with to feel like they have to order 'down' out of consideration for us. Everyone we go out with it's just 'we'll be on a separate check'. It's just normal for us all.
     
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  9. morgan98

    morgan98 DIS Veteran

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    I get what you are saying and that is fine for you. I order what I want no matter who I am going out with. Different strokes, different folks and all of that...
     
  10. FairestOfThemAll37

    FairestOfThemAll37 DIS Veteran

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    Is it uncommon to ask for separate checks? I don’t think I’ve really encountered that all that much even when dining abroad. I almost always ask at the beginning of the meal for separate checks-it just seems easier.
     
  11. shoney

    shoney DIS Veteran

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    65 to 75 is my husband and I grabbing a burger and a few beers not going out in my book. It’s all relative to what u are used to spending.

    A server will
    Never ask about separate checks. Some
    Restaurants have it on their menu that they don’t do it. Not many but you do see it. People just don’t seem to ask around here so it would be weird. I really don’t know why.

    Almost 20 years ago we did get shocker. Met 2 couples for dinner in manhattan (steakhouse) The one girl ordered the wine for the table and she sure didn’t Pick the cheapest ones! I’m sure we got several bottles. But the cost was
    $400 a couple. Lol. We just handed it over but we weren’t quite prepared for that one!
     
  12. Christine

    Christine Would love to be able to sit on

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    I was the first one on this thread to raise the dining out issue in relation to this thread topic. Nowadays it's certainly not uncommon to ask for separate checks and, IMO, it's quite the norm. When I had the bad dining out experiences with my coworkers, it was the late 1980s and we were in local restaurants around where we worked. Nothing was really automated at that point and it was kind of a big deal to give a party of 8 people each a separate check. Very manual process. So everyone tried to avoid it. We would go out to lunch like this a few times a month. Everyone was very young, no one had a lot of cash. You had those that were very budget conscious trying to be frugal and you had those who used the occasion to have their lunch subsidized by the crowd. It was always the same offenders trying to make out in that situation.
     
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  13. tzolkin

    tzolkin DIS Veteran

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    Where I live now the servers ALWAYS ask. They ask when it’s a large group, when it’s just my husband and I, and they even ask when I’m out with my college-aged daughter.


    In the case of the babysitting if it had been at my house I would have just paid the whole amount. (I had already planned the expense of babysitting for my own kids and the few extra bucks to provide my friends with free childcare would have been a kind gesture.) If I was the parent of the “extra” child I would have offered to pay half.

    That said, there must have been some discussion about the cost beforehand for the second couple to even know about the $3 per additional child. So, they should have been more clear if the intention was to split it. Perhaps the way it was phrased suggested that the first couple was already paying the babysitter, “so for just $3 more you could leave Johnny at our house where he would have fun playing with our kids rather than looking for your own sitter.”
     
  14. bigbabyblues

    bigbabyblues DIS Veteran

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    Each family should get their own babysitter if they can't agree.
    Each family should get their own vacation rental.
    Each couple should pay their own restaurant bill, no paying for crap you didn't order.

    Everyone pays for what they want and use, nobody has to argue over not getting their way.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2019
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  15. Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

    Mackenzie Click-Mickelson DIS Veteran

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    Yeah I wasn't so much as focusing on the amount so much as to illustrate an example.

    Whether it's $50 or $100 or $200 the point being my husband and I often have a lower bill than those we are out will. I do understand what the person is speaking towards with socializing with those who eat roughly the same way. But I think that is something that happens in certain circles and doesn't happen in other circles. I don't really have a choice in the matter if I'm out with the in-laws unless I opt to never eat out with them for example. I've known my best friend for nearly 25 years. I'm not going to just not eat out with her.

    I do, well did find out that is, know from a while back from the DIS that for some areas they don't do separate checks at least as a norm. But still in that situation if we were habitually eating out with X people we aren't going to continue eating (no pun intended lol) the cost of double the bill just for the sake of saying 50/50 split. We have in the past, paid the in-laws for our total including tip if it was more or less easier at that time to just get one bill. But they would never ask us to split 50/50 on meals knowing what they order. Now we're not to the penny on either side if we're doing it that way.

    Honestly? Never been around people that expect us to share the costs to that extreme like your wine example. People around me, personally that is, would find that rude and presumptuous. You order the wine for the table it's basically expected to go on your bill (or you to pay for it) unless it's otherwise discussed. Same for apps for instance. If we order apps for the table to share, we pick up the cost of it on our side. We wouldn't order apps for the table and expect others to pick up the tab. If they want to help sure of course but it's not expected.
     
  16. bigbabyblues

    bigbabyblues DIS Veteran

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    Yes.
     
  17. mjkacmom

    mjkacmom DIS Veteran

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    And here a server will never ask, ever. And it’s very common that when a group of friends or family go out to eat, appetizers for the table are ordered. My cousin has a friend group composed of retired professional athletes, he only goes out to eat with them a couple times a year because his portion of the bill will be several hundred dollars (he can afford it, but he’s a frugal guy). The biggest portion of the bill is wine.
     
  18. skyblue17

    skyblue17 Mouseketeer

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    This bums me out! I can't imagine wanting to hang out with friends but having to say no, not because I can't afford to pay for my OWN meal at the restaurant chosen, but because I would have to split the bill with people who can afford to splurge more (I understand that's not the case here, but easily could be for some!). If I had friends who could look me in the eye and say "that's just how it is, buddy!" about spending hundreds of dollars on items i did not partake in, that friendship wouldn't be long for this world!
     
  19. cluvsdisney

    cluvsdisney DIS Veteran

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    Around where I live (NYC) I cant ever recall be asked if we wanted separate checks and have never asked for one. When I was younger (college age) my friends and I would tally up our own food at the table. Now when I go out with a couple of people, we generally split the bill but no one is freely ordering expensive items and expecting it to be split. If they did, they put in more for their share if the bill without being asked.

    I have noticed being offered or requesting separate checks is more common in the Carolinas, Florida and Tennessee. I'm sure it is in other places too..that's just where I've encountered it the most.


    As for the original question, my first thought was to split it 2/3 & 1/3. Both families are getting a deal but at the same time, I cant see letting this become a huge issue over a few dollars.
     
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  20. Mackenzie Click-Mickelson

    Mackenzie Click-Mickelson DIS Veteran

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    That makes more sense.

    It's all over the place really. I'd honestly think that not splitting checks is more concentrated on specific areas (like certain metros for example) rather than the opposite of splitting checks being more concentrated on specific areas if that makes sense.
     
  21. Julie's Haircut

    Julie's Haircut DIS Veteran

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    OP doesn't indicate how the babysitting situation came up. How would couple #2 know it's $3 per hour for an additional kid unless couple #1 told them so? They should have told the other couple the total cost per hour, and then either request at 50/50 or 66/33 split. It appears poor communication led to a misunderstanding. Suck it up and don't offer to share the babysitter with them again.

    My brother once complained about an invitation he and his wife received about sharing a rental house in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It was a large house, something like eight bedrooms. Four families were invited. Brother and SIL don't have kids, the other couples do. The "host family," who had four kids and would probably occupy at least three bedrooms, wanted each couple to pay 1/4 of the total cost.

    I don't like going out with large groups (over 8) and then splitting the check evenly. It seems more often than not there is one couple who takes advantage, orders expensive items and lots of alcohol, then expects their meal to be subsidized by the others.
     
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