How much does a funeral cost???

[HelenePA]

my grandmothers was about 7k in 2007 BUT plot and gravestone and burial were paid for by the govt since she was burined at a national cemetary (my grandfather was in the army) my mom's cremation was about 3200$ my dad was donated to science and ashes returned about 4 wks later at a cost of 190$ out of pocket that does not include his "going away dinner" which was about 700$ including bounce house for the kids..

 

[msjprincess]

You picked a bad company to deal with. There is a form to fill out that has the funeral home paid directly by the insurance company. There is no need for loans if there is life insurance sufficient to cover the cost (assuming the funeral hime knows what it is doing and is trying to help).

It really wasn't a big deal since I knew I would be getting the money in a week or two.

 

[minkydog]

We buried my dad in 2004. He was cremated but wanted his ashes buried at the feet of his mother(he was an only child and was very close to her.) We had no wake, just a graveside service, which was very common in his little town. We had to pay for the cremation, special box, opening of the grave, the preacher, and a few other things. I think the total was about $2500 which was covered by life insurance and veterans benefits. \

When my FIL died in 1985 it was a completely different matter. The family had a two day wake, with all the trimmings. MIL was so distraught she couldn't make any decisions, so FILs brother and sister took over. They have expensive taste and went for the Cadillac of coffins. That funeral cost over $10,000, all of which was paid for by us and my SIL. The rest of the family simply turned a blind eye and we had to take out a loan to pay for it all. We were very young and it took us 4 years to pay it off. The flowers alone could have helped my MIL--56 big arrangements. FIL died with $48 in his pocket and no life insurance. He did not own the house they lived in and he left MIL with NOTHING> I promised my DH that if he dared to leave me out to dry like that I would personally dig him up and kill him all over again. Most ridiculous waste of money I ever saw.

 

[arminnie]

Just like everything else in life no one is automatically entitled to a grand sent off with flashing lights. People should make an effort to do what they can afford. The body will not be left in your front yard. Having a posh funeral does not mean that person was loved more than the more frugal one.

I have never carried life insurance in my life - unless an employer did it for everyone. But I have more than enough cash to bury me even if not in a grand spectacle.

I've handled 3 funerals - each about $10k. Could have been done for less if we'd needed to.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I can't believe the posters who've had to spend $1K on grave opening charges. Although my mom did tell me that if we want to go ahead and pay for our plots at the family cemetery before we die, since they secured the plots before 1985, we can pay $500 (I think) and be set forever. That includes opening and closing and all upkeep forever for our two plots.

I am now inclined to pay the fees and stake out the plots I wanted and be done with it.

When DMIL passed, she was buried in her church cemetery. We paid nothing for the plot as she was a member of the church, but did contribute some money to the church for the upkeep of the church grounds, including the cemetery.

Still. I knew cemetery plots weren't cheap, but holy cow!

 

[msjprincess]

I can't believe the posters who've had to spend $1K on grave opening charges. Although my mom did tell me that if we want to go ahead and pay for our plots at the family cemetery before we die, since they secured the plots before 1985, we can pay $500 (I think) and be set forever. That includes opening and closing and all upkeep forever for our two plots.

I am now inclined to pay the fees and stake out the plots I wanted and be done with it.

When DMIL passed, she was buried in her church cemetery. We paid nothing for the plot as she was a member of the church, but did contribute some money to the church for the upkeep of the church grounds, including the cemetery.

Still. I knew cemetery plots weren't cheap, but holy cow!

I couldn't remember how much we paid so I just looked it up. The plot itself costs $3K. They charge $1425 M-F or $1740 for Saturdays for the grave opening.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I couldn't remember how much we paid so I just looked it up. The plot itself costs $3K. They charge $1425 M-F or $1740 for Saturdays for the grave opening.

That is just. . .oh my. My family cemetery is a non-profit and is run by a duly elected board. (I suppose I could vote if I ever showed up on the annual "working day" in which no work is actually done, but lots of food is eaten.) Prices are enough for upkeep and expenses and no more.

Wow. Okay, I am definitely going to go buy my plots ASAP. (As a bonus, all the teenagers think our family cemetery is haunted. It's probably just a story to keep the kids from using the fields around the cemetery for making out or drinking, but I kind of like the idea of getting to be buried in a haunted cemetery!)

 

[MichelleinMaine]

There was this 1000k grave opening charge that I thought was ridiculous. I mean when you buy a plot, wouldn't you assume that one day youo would have it opened??

I was appalled at $500 to open the grave for MIL- it was literally a 3x3x3' hole, if that. We had the memorial service on a Saturday and they wanted ANOTHER $300 as a Saturday surcharge! (I refused, we buried her another day.) I understand funeral homes/cemeteries have to make money, but have no idea how they can justify $300 extra, just because it was a Saturday. This is a business that is in a 24/7 sort of time table!
The city also required a vault (more $$$), to put in the sealed urn, that was essentially only filled with dust anyway.

My family dug my grandfather's grave (he was cremated). It was practical (I mean we're digging a hole, this isn't rocket science!) It was also cathartic for all involved. We sprinkled some gems (he was a rock hound) in as we filled it in, and then all went for a potluck at the grange hall.
My family has instructions to dig me a hole next to him and likewise follow with a good time at the grange.

 

[golfgal]

I can't believe the posters who've had to spend $1K on grave opening charges. Although my mom did tell me that if we want to go ahead and pay for our plots at the family cemetery before we die, since they secured the plots before 1985, we can pay $500 (I think) and be set forever. That includes opening and closing and all upkeep forever for our two plots.

I am now inclined to pay the fees and stake out the plots I wanted and be done with it.

When DMIL passed, she was buried in her church cemetery. We paid nothing for the plot as she was a member of the church, but did contribute some money to the church for the upkeep of the church grounds, including the cemetery.

Still. I knew cemetery plots weren't cheap, but holy cow!

If you can get a plot with upkeep for $500, do it. When my grandpa died that alone saved us thousands of dollars. My Grandma died in 1969 and Grandpa bought her plot and the one next to it for him. Grand total for both plots and the headstone $156 . The belong to a tiny church and he was the caretaker for the cemetery (volunteer) so because of that we didn't need to pay for the opening or for perpetual care.

 

[eliza61]

You picked a bad company to deal with. There is a form to fill out that has the funeral home paid directly by the insurance company. There is no need for loans if there is life insurance sufficient to cover the cost (assuming the funeral hime knows what it is doing and is trying to help).

Depends on the company Bama. My father had two policies, both covered the cost of the funeral but Hartford life no longer releases funds to funeral homes. The funeral home was kind enough to fill out the paper work for us but we had to sign and Notarize then fax or mail in. And since the insurance policy listed all 4 of us sibilings each one of us had to sign a separate form.

I took them about 3 months to release the funds. His AARP insurance was accepted by the funeral home.

 

[golfgal]

Depends on the company Bama. My father had two policies, both covered the cost of the funeral but Hartford life no longer releases funds to funeral homes. The funeral home was kind enough to fill out the paper work for us but we had to sign and Notarize then fax or mail in. And since the insurance policy listed all 4 of us sibilings each one of us had to sign a separate form.

I took them about 3 months to release the funds. His AARP insurance was accepted by the funeral home.

Work policies are RARELY assignable because the employee doesn't own the policy, the company does and only the owner of a policy can make changes. Individual policies can be assigned because the owner of the policy is usually the insured. Depending on the wording in an individual policy though, once someone dies, there may not be an owner and thus can not be assigned. The insurance industry is so heavily regulated that it makes it quite difficult for companies and individuals to process claims.

It is MUCH easier to have a trust listed as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy if there is more than one beneficiary.

 

[Pembo]

Funeral homes are in business to make money. They know that when you come to them for a funeral you aren't going to be shopping around for a better deal. They can charge you top dollar and they do. It is sad that this is a business that takes advantage of people at their most vulnerable but it is a business.


OP, sorry for your loss.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Or rather, how much SHOULD a funeral cost?


My FIL passed away this weekend. My dh is in CA now and texted to say the funeral is costing +20k.

Personally (for me) I'm all for cremation and an ocean scattering. In the case of my FIL there is a big family/heritage thing that has to be upheld. But yikes.


PS. I texted my dh back and mentioned you could buy caskets at Costco. He said all the arrangements were made the day before he arrived.

Sorry for your loss, op. I'm originally from California. My dad passed away 5 years ago and his funeral was close to $20k. Just buying the space to put the casket was $4000! I was shocked at that. Even a cemetary plot costs a lot in California.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Depends on the company Bama. My father had two policies, both covered the cost of the funeral but Hartford life no longer releases funds to funeral homes. The funeral home was kind enough to fill out the paper work for us but we had to sign and Notarize then fax or mail in. And since the insurance policy listed all 4 of us sibilings each one of us had to sign a separate form.

I took them about 3 months to release the funds. His AARP insurance was accepted by the funeral home.

Work policies are RARELY assignable because the employee doesn't own the policy, the company does and only the owner of a policy can make changes. Individual policies can be assigned because the owner of the policy is usually the insured. Depending on the wording in an individual policy though, once someone dies, there may not be an owner and thus can not be assigned. The insurance industry is so heavily regulated that it makes it quite difficult for companies and individuals to process claims.

It is MUCH easier to have a trust listed as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy if there is more than one beneficiary.

Thanks - I have only been involved in 3, and all policies allowed for this. I made a bad assumption.

 

[lrichardson]

My MIL passed away 4 years ago and the cost was around $3,000. We were lucky to have a great funeral director who understood our finances. She was cremated and we had a service at the funeral home for 4 hours. First 2 hours we greeted the family and guests and then the priest provided a service. I ordered flowers to go around the urn they were beautiful. In fact the funeral director asked if he could take a picture and wanted to know who the florist was. Afterwards we had the repass at a restaurant but we did not include liquor. Anyone who needed a drink had to go to the bar and purchase it. Sorry but my dh's family are big drinkers. So we were able to keep the cost to a minimum. She wasn't buried in a cemetary. Ashes went to her dh.

 

[msjprincess]

Work policies are RARELY assignable because the employee doesn't own the policy, the company does and only the owner of a policy can make changes. Individual policies can be assigned because the owner of the policy is usually the insured. Depending on the wording in an individual policy though, once someone dies, there may not be an owner and thus can not be assigned. The insurance industry is so heavily regulated that it makes it quite difficult for companies and individuals to process claims.

It is MUCH easier to have a trust listed as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy if there is more than one beneficiary.

My mother's policy was through work so that may have been the issue. It was so long ago I don't remember.

 

[DSNY4ever]

I sometimes have to add up funeral expenses as part of my work (legal work) and I have seen everything from $1,000 to $19,000 (the higher end ones were really elaborate).

I would want something simple. A celebration of my life that doesn't break the bank for my family. A small gathering with some snacks and a toast to a good life... and then of course a trip to WDW where everyone throws my ashes into the air during the drop on Splash Mountain.



...just kidding on the second part of course

 

[LIDisneyFan]

It really does depend on where you live. My parents both died in 2004 (New York) and between 1 evening at the funeral home, burial, inexpensive coffin, cost of the Catholic Church, etc. they each came to about $13k. but they were very simple