How do you save for kids college fund?

Is anyone else waiting to see which of the two North Carolina ladies says "bless your heart" first? ;)

Seriously I think both of you have good perspectives on the whole thing. It goes back to each family doing what they feel is right. I will add that so often these things are shaped by our past personal experiences-just look at all the posters who say they paid for college themselves, so their kids will too; or they had to struggle through, so they don't want their kids to struggle; or their parents paid for them, so they want to pay for their kids, etc.

The only thing I will say about the book rental discussion, is that I remember Mrs. Pete bringing it up several times about discussions in picking colleges, evaluating costs, etc. and saying what an advantage it was at this one particular college. Isn't it possible that your dd, knowing books were a cost she was responsible for, counted the book rental as a "plus" for App State because she (wisely) wanted to reduce her costs? Just like her being able to get scholarships at a particular school (reducing the parental contribution) is a plus for that school.
If she is still going to be responsible for some arbitrary amount (what books would have cost somewhere else?) then there's no savings in it for her.

Anyway good luck to her! :)

lol bless your heart, honey.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I do think you are exactly right - we (and I mean all of us, not just Mrs. Pete and I) shape our opinions from our past experiences and also what we see and know to be the norm among our friends. Most of my friends pay for all college expenses and summer jobs are for spending money, etc. We all assume by this time (senior year in high school) that we have done our jobs of raising responsible kids and we aren't so hard core about it.
 
I just wanted to add the my dd uses chegg.com to rent many of her textbooks. Works out very well. She buys a few paperback-type books but for the big textbooks chegg is much cheaper! :)
 
I don't think that is the expectation. We are saving for college but depending on where she goes, we won't be paying 100%. We've got 40K+ in her 529 so that will be a real good start, and we've got 3 more years to save, but we expect her to pay/borrow for some of it, too.

I see a lot of people on here (this and other similar threads) saying they don't plan on having their children pay for anything, I guess that is who I was talking to!

FWIW- I agree with Mrs. Pete. The obligation for books is let's say $1000 a year. She still wants her to have that $1000 a year obligation towards "something." Saying "You pay books" just makes it easier for the child to grasp concretely than "I expect you to pay $1000 a year for your school." With the books, there was a tangible reward for the money- just paying Mom doesn't quite have that same satisfaction.
 
FWIW- I agree with Mrs. Pete. The obligation for books is let's say $1000 a year. She still wants her to have that $1000 a year obligation towards "something." Saying "You pay books" just makes it easier for the child to grasp concretely than "I expect you to pay $1000 a year for your school." With the books, there was a tangible reward for the money- just paying Mom doesn't quite have that same satisfaction.

See, to me that's two different things.

Paying $1000, a fixed amount, towards tuition. The only way to reduce that would be to get a full tuition scholarship I guess.

Paying for books-an amount that varies each semester. The student can find ways to reduce that (buying used, renting the books from chegg, picking a school that rents all your books, borrowing books, etc.) Some semesters the book bill will be low, others much higher.

It seems to me that in most cases the second option "paying for books" gives the student more of a lesson in budgeting, smart shopping, comparison shopping, keeping enough money in savings to buy books the second semester, etc. :) But whatever works for you is great!
 
My college rented textbooks 17 years ago
Sounds like they were ahead of their time. I think the practice has only become common practice much more recently.
I see a lot of people on here (this and other similar threads) saying they don't plan on having their children pay for anything, I guess that is who I was talking to!

Understood. Personally, I do expect DD to have some personal responsibility. Isn't that what college is all about - becoming a responsible adult? What that means could be different from kid to kid. It might mean paying for books. It might mean covering personal non-school expenses like going out with friends, travel, campus activities, etc. It might mean paying for a chunk of tuition. All depends on the situation.
 
Sounds like they were ahead of their time. I think the practice has only become common practice much more recently.


Understood. Personally, I do expect DD to have some personal responsibility. Isn't that what college is all about - becoming a responsible adult? What that means could be different from kid to kid. It might mean paying for books. It might mean covering personal non-school expenses like going out with friends, travel, campus activities, etc. It might mean paying for a chunk of tuition. All depends on the situation.

It was even a public, state school. :laughing: It was a University of WI campus. :)
 
I see a lot of people on here (this and other similar threads) saying they don't plan on having their children pay for anything, I guess that is who I was talking to!

FWIW- I agree with Mrs. Pete. The obligation for books is let's say $1000 a year. She still wants her to have that $1000 a year obligation towards "something." Saying "You pay books" just makes it easier for the child to grasp concretely than "I expect you to pay $1000 a year for your school." With the books, there was a tangible reward for the money- just paying Mom doesn't quite have that same satisfaction.

I can understand that point of view - I guess I just have a bigger picture view of it. After all, I'm not advocating she be allowed to spend the money on a weekend in Vegas!! I just think it's awfully hard core to be making her spend it now on some other expense this year instead of saving it for something in the future. My goal was to get my kid through college with no debt and as big a savings account as possible. Mrs. Pete's expectations may be different than mine. I know that out of school in this economy it is hard to get everything you need for an independent life and still have several thousand dollars right off the bat to have as an emergency fund. Neither of us want my daughter to have to come back home so she built that emergency fund as fast as she could and her summer jobs and college nanny job helped get her there. I would have felt terrible if I'd made her give it to me instead because her books weren't as expensive as I'd planned for them to be.
 
DH and I called several state universities in Florida many years ago to help figure out, with anticipated increases, how much a four year degree would cost when each of our two kids are ready to attend. The figure we came up with covered tuition, fees, and textbooks.
We lived off less than one income and put everything I made into savings for about 15 years, to fund our retirement nest egg, pay for a house, and pay for college for both kids. We still live off less than one income.
Our kids know we will cover four years of tuition, fees, and books at a state university. If they want to live on campus, or go elsewhere for school, and the cost exceeds what we have saved, we will re evaluate. If it is because it will provide them with a better opportunity, we'll hlep. If not, they have to find a way to pay for it.
If they get scholarships (or if Florida Bright Futures is still going then), they do not just get a fat check from us. DH and I might give them some of it to get started on their own after college, or perhaps give it to them to helpm with grad school. If we've saved more than they need, same thing, we'll re evaluate once they have finished school.
I paid my own way, and paying my own way through my FNP program currently. I had no financial aid in the form of scholarships or grants. I worked three jobs to pay my way through school. I don't want that for my kids if I can help it.
DH and I figure that paying for college is possibly saving us money in the long run. If they cannot go to school, and wind up as young parents with no marketable job skills, we'll be paying BIG time to support them. Sure, that could still happen, but I'm hoping it doesn't.
 
We have a the Florida prepaid 4 year college tuition for our son, in addition to cash savings.

While I would expect him to contribute, in no way do I expect an 18-year-old to be able to pay the costs of college 10 years from now. The way college costs have risen from the early 80s puts it out of reach for most kids without help.

I truly don't understand the idea of not helping with college if you at all can. Why do everything you can up to the age 18, then send them out in the world with a swift kick in the teeth?
 
I just think it's awfully hard core to be making her spend it now on some other expense this year instead of saving it for something in the future. .

I think it's really odd that you're so set on making it clear you don't like Mrs. Pete that you pick on someone who is asking her dd to take on a minimal responsibility toward her college education. There are tons of people who say they can't or don't want to pay anything, or will only pay tuition, but the one that bothers you is someone who is paying for almost everything?

Everyone here has different ideas of what they will pay for. Carrying on a vendetta against one person with a different viewpoint than you certainly seems like a personal attack to me?:confused3
 
I can understand that point of view - I guess I just have a bigger picture view of it. After all, I'm not advocating she be allowed to spend the money on a weekend in Vegas!! I just think it's awfully hard core to be making her spend it now on some other expense this year instead of saving it for something in the future. My goal was to get my kid through college with no debt and as big a savings account as possible. Mrs. Pete's expectations may be different than mine. I know that out of school in this economy it is hard to get everything you need for an independent life and still have several thousand dollars right off the bat to have as an emergency fund. Neither of us want my daughter to have to come back home so she built that emergency fund as fast as she could and her summer jobs and college nanny job helped get her there. I would have felt terrible if I'd made her give it to me instead because her books weren't as expensive as I'd planned for them to be.

There are a couple of reasons to be "hard core" about it.

A lot of people think that their kids need to have some "skin in the game." If college is 'free' because Mom and Dad are paying for it, well then, major it underwater basket weaving and carry a 2.3 average and avoid growing up a little! I think most of us have raised kids who wouldn't do that, but I think having some skin in the game is wise (ours is spending money and expenses beyond what we agree to cover).

A lot of people think (and this is my take) that college is a good chance to become an adult slowly. You move out of your parents place into the dorms, where you don't need to worry about groceries or dinner, but you do need to schedule your time without Mom looking over your shoulder, budget your spending money so you don't run out, and get your laundry done. As AZMermaid points out - books are a great way to do this one - because a college student can make choices to reduce their book bill - buy used, rent, use the copy in the library, pick up the International Edition, even (cough) not buy the book (I never did by the Astronomy textbook in college, it wasn't in stock when I bought all my other books and when it came back into stock, I knew I could easily pass the class with just class notes). If Mom and Dad are buying your books, might as well pick up everything new - or you might go for used if you can find a fairly pristine copy. When my kids (who are still six and seven years from college) need to spend their own money, their wants become much more reasonable.

With those goals, and with the book bill no longer being a material expense to Mrs. Pete's daughters, she needs to find some other way to acheive the goal.
 
There are several posters on this thread who have made it clear to their kids that they will pay for a state university education; if the child wants to attend somewhere else, they (the student) will be responsible for the extra costs. I really think those parents need to think about the message they are giving their kids and amend it to "you can go to a state university only". I don't mean to single anyone out, but honestly, it is not realistic to think that kids are going to be able to finance the difference between a public and private education or oos public if the parents have any significant assets. The guidelines for federal aid will take those assets into account and come up with an appropriate (in the government's mind, anyhow) amount that they expect the family to cover. There is a cap on what students can borrow. For freshman year, it is $5500, with only $3500 of this amount subsidized. For the second year, the loan limit is $6500, with only a maximum of $4500 potentially eligible for subsidization, and for the third and fourth year, a student can only borrow $7500, with the possibility of $5500 being subsidized. Realistically, a student who has parents who CAN afford to pay more for school but who just don't want to will NOT be able to afford anything other than a public school.

Of course, if the family truly cannot afford the education, the student might be able to cover the costs with grants and gift aid, but to expect a student to be able to finance an education by him or herself when the parents have assets is truly not realistic.

Even the state universities here tell families to expect that costs will go up an average of 6-7 % a year. It's crazy. I only graduated college in 2002. I took summer courses a few times that ran me under $600 a class. I looked into starting a second certification this past summer, and the cost had doubled in less than ten years to $1200 for one class. To be fair, it always costs a bit more to do things part time here, but to me, that is an outrageous jump.

On a completely different topic, I agree wholeheartedly that we need to encourage more realistic goals for some of our kids. I work with special ed kids, and it amazes me that juniors (not always ones with special needs, either) think they can go to medical school when they can't even pass basic algebra. We need to stop telling our kids "you can be anything you want to be." It's just not true and it's unfair to them to set up those expectations in them.
 
There are several posters on this thread who have made it clear to their kids that they will pay for a state university education; if the child wants to attend somewhere else, they (the student) will be responsible for the extra costs. I really think those parents need to think about the message they are giving their kids and amend it to "you can go to a state university only". I don't mean to single anyone out, but honestly, it is not realistic to think that kids are going to be able to finance the difference between a public and private education or oos public if the parents have any significant assets. The guidelines for federal aid will take those assets into account and come up with an appropriate (in the government's mind, anyhow) amount that they expect the family to cover. There is a cap on what students can borrow. For freshman year, it is $5500, with only $3500 of this amount subsidized. For the second year, the loan limit is $6500, with only a maximum of $4500 potentially eligible for subsidization, and for the third and fourth year, a student can only borrow $7500, with the possibility of $5500 being subsidized. Realistically, a student who has parents who CAN afford to pay more for school but who just don't want to will NOT be able to afford anything other than a public school.

Of course, if the family truly cannot afford the education, the student might be able to cover the costs with grants and gift aid, but to expect a student to be able to finance an education by him or herself when the parents have assets is truly not realistic.

Even the state universities here tell families to expect that costs will go up an average of 6-7 % a year. It's crazy. I only graduated college in 2002. I took summer courses a few times that ran me under $600 a class. I looked into starting a second certification this past summer, and the cost had doubled in less than ten years to $1200 for one class. To be fair, it always costs a bit more to do things part time here, but to me, that is an outrageous jump.

On a completely different topic, I agree wholeheartedly that we need to encourage more realistic goals for some of our kids. I work with special ed kids, and it amazes me that juniors (not always ones with special needs, either) think they can go to medical school when they can't even pass basic algebra. We need to stop telling our kids "you can be anything you want to be." It's just not true and it's unfair to them to set up those expectations in them.

These limits are for federal loans. If the parent is willing to co-sign, the child can take out private student loans. Interest accrues from the date of disbursement but payment is deferred until the child is out of college. We are paying the interest on my daughter's loans while she is in school but she gets the principal when she graduates (unless we win the lottery between now and then!)
 
There are several posters on this thread who have made it clear to their kids that they will pay for a state university education; if the child wants to attend somewhere else, they (the student) will be responsible for the extra costs. I really think those parents need to think about the message they are giving their kids and amend it to "you can go to a state university only". I don't mean to single anyone out, but honestly, it is not realistic to think that kids are going to be able to finance the difference between a public and private education or oos public if the parents have any significant assets. The guidelines for federal aid will take those assets into account and come up with an appropriate (in the government's mind, anyhow) amount that they expect the family to cover. There is a cap on what students can borrow. For freshman year, it is $5500, with only $3500 of this amount subsidized. For the second year, the loan limit is $6500, with only a maximum of $4500 potentially eligible for subsidization, and for the third and fourth year, a student can only borrow $7500, with the possibility of $5500 being subsidized. Realistically, a student who has parents who CAN afford to pay more for school but who just don't want to will NOT be able to afford anything other than a public school.

Of course, if the family truly cannot afford the education, the student might be able to cover the costs with grants and gift aid, but to expect a student to be able to finance an education by him or herself when the parents have assets is truly not realistic.

Even the state universities here tell families to expect that costs will go up an average of 6-7 % a year. It's crazy. I only graduated college in 2002. I took summer courses a few times that ran me under $600 a class. I looked into starting a second certification this past summer, and the cost had doubled in less than ten years to $1200 for one class. To be fair, it always costs a bit more to do things part time here, but to me, that is an outrageous jump.

On a completely different topic, I agree wholeheartedly that we need to encourage more realistic goals for some of our kids. I work with special ed kids, and it amazes me that juniors (not always ones with special needs, either) think they can go to medical school when they can't even pass basic algebra. We need to stop telling our kids "you can be anything you want to be." It's just not true and it's unfair to them to set up those expectations in them.

That question - can they finance the difference - really depends on the package the student gets from the private school as well as things like scholarships. It isn't unusual for private schools with good endowments to wind up cheaper than the public school.

If I could pay $20k per year for "State U" and my child really wanted to go to "Ivy" at $50k a year, I would strongly caution her against taking on $30k per year of debt (she'll be eighteen, by strongly caution that would be "I ain't co-signing"). But if the package from Ivy got the cost of Ivy down to $25k a year, that $20k they'd put towards that MIGHT be a good investment or just a worthwhile expense.
 
Isn't it possible that your dd, knowing books were a cost she was responsible for, counted the book rental as a "plus"
Nah, she sees the book rental as a perk, a secondary factor in the college choice. Not a reason to choose one school over another.

From my point of view, one of the schools is a little more expensive than the other, but the price difference isn't significant enough to play into our decision.
See, to me that's two different things.

Paying $1000, a fixed amount, towards tuition. The only way to reduce that would be to get a full tuition scholarship I guess.

Paying for books-an amount that varies each semester. The student can find ways to reduce that (buying used, renting the books from chegg, picking a school that rents all your books, borrowing books, etc.) Some semesters the book bill will be low, others much higher.

It seems to me that in most cases the second option "paying for books" gives the student more of a lesson in budgeting, smart shopping, comparison shopping, keeping enough money in savings to buy books the second semester, etc. :) But whatever works for you is great!
I can see your point . . . when we decided that we'd pay the big basics and she'd be responsible for books and parking sticker, we were thinking that she'd be responsible for about $1000, and I can see benefits to both of the two methods you described.

1. If we say, you pay $1000 flat-out, that's easy for a young adult, new to the world of work to understand. She knows how much she's earning each week over the summer, so it's simple arithemetic to pull out X amount from each week's pay.

2. If she's responsible for books (pretending for a moment that she chooses the no-rental school), she has the option of finding cheaper options . . . and while I like the idea of encouraging her to stretch her dollar, it's harder for a young person to save for an unknown amount. When I was in school, my books averaged $200-250/semester . . . but a couple times -- when I was taking lots of English classes -- I was able to get most of my books from the library, and my final tab was much lower. While that's nice, it's harder to budget. The obvious "right answer" is to over-save, and if an excess exists, enjoy it later.

Actually, if she goes with her #1 school choice, she'll have some choice on how much the parking sticker costs too. I'm not sure of the exact prices, but these are kind of close: For sophomores and up, a parking space in a plain old lot is around $275, whereas a prime spot close to the dorms and in a new deck is more like $450. This is a snowy location, and the deck would mean no shoveling snow off the car. So that's a choice of time/effort vs. money.

Which method's best? Pay $1000 or pay these specific expenses? I see benefits to both methods.
 
There are several posters on this thread who have made it clear to their kids that they will pay for a state university education; if the child wants to attend somewhere else, they (the student) will be responsible for the extra costs. I really think those parents need to think about the message they are giving their kids and amend it to "you can go to a state university only". I don't mean to single anyone out, but honestly, it is not realistic to think that kids are going to be able to finance the difference between a public and private education or oos public if the parents have any significant assets. The guidelines for federal aid will take those assets into account and come up with an appropriate (in the government's mind, anyhow) amount that they expect the family to cover. There is a cap on what students can borrow.

You're assuming that we're stupid enough not to have researched what is realistic for our kids and for our family.

I calculated what I could pay and guess what? Fafsa told me the same amount almost to the penny. It just covers our state flagship schools. My kids can go to a private school if they desire, but probably only if they get offered enough scholarship money to get the cost down to that price. They know the exact number we can afford. It's not like we randomly decided - this school, period.

DS started college this year and had it narrowed down to three choices. Our state flagship, an out of state that gave him merit aid to get it to that price, and a private school that gave him merit aid to get him to that price. He had a reach school that was above our budget with no guaranteed gpa merit aid. He didn't get in so we don't know what they would have offered him if he did, but he knew already that it might not be possible to put together a package that was workable for that school. He has friends that couldn't actually go to schools they got accepted to once they got the numbers. He also has friends that were pleasantly surprised at how much merit they were offered.

My younger son may have a harder time getting scholarships. He's a junior this year and already knows what GPA he has to have to get the maximum automatic merit scholarhip (the one that gets it down to the cost of state schools) for the only private school currently on his list. So far he's on track for it.

I think you have to give people the benefit of the doubt that they've done some research and know what they can afford and what might be realistic for their kids.

I haven't seen anyone here (although it is feasible there may be some people that feel this way) that has said "we can afford anything because we're wealthy, but will only pay enough for you to go to a state school." I also haven't seen anyone who seems to have done no research and is just taking random stabs at what they think might work. Just because we've saved carefully and can pay for our child to go to a state school, doesn't mean we have the money to pay for a private. I would much rather have my children go to a small private school but first of all it's not my choice, and second of all we can really only afford to pay for the state flagship. Money IS a factor. As you've said yourself, there ARE ways students can afford private schools, no need to x them off the list just because the parent can't pay cash for them.
 
These limits are for federal loans. If the parent is willing to co-sign, the child can take out private student loans. Interest accrues from the date of disbursement but payment is deferred until the child is out of college. We are paying the interest on my daughter's loans while she is in school but she gets the principal when she graduates (unless we win the lottery between now and then!)

Yes, but you as the co-signer are ultimately responsible for the loan if your daughter for some reason cannot pay her loans, and they have hefty fees and interest rates. I don't think most kids have a a full understanding of just how onerous it is to pay these loans back with a beginning salary, and, for many of them, relocation, a car, marriage, homes, children, etc. I ran a few numbers through the calculator on the FinAid site (GREAT source of info, btw). I put in the standard cumulative amount of Stafford loans for 4 years ($27000) at 4%. The interest may be higher; I just can't remember right now. Also, on the unsubsidized portion of the loans, if interest hasn't been paid by the student while in college, the interest will have been caoitalized and added to the loan amount, making the $27000 even more. The payment on just $27000 for ten years will be about $273 a month, requiring a salary of $32,800 to comfortably pay back this amount. Add the private loans to that, which are likely to be at a higher rate, and you're looking at a serious chunk of change. That's why I think it is almost better to tell a student straight out that it's public in-state or nothing if the parent won't finance the rest. If a parent can't finance the rest, as determined by the FAFSA and/or the Profile form, THEN the aid MAY be higher, depending on what percentage of need the college typically covers. My point is that if a parent CAN afford to finance more than a public education, but CHOOSES not to, they are putting their child in a tough financial spot as they start out their lives after college, and in my opinion, in this particular case, they should just say "honey, you have to go public."

That question - can they finance the difference - really depends on the package the student gets from the private school as well as things like scholarships. It isn't unusual for private schools with good endowments to wind up cheaper than the public school.

If I could pay $20k per year for "State U" and my child really wanted to go to "Ivy" at $50k a year, I would strongly caution her against taking on $30k per year of debt (she'll be eighteen, by strongly caution that would be "I ain't co-signing"). But if the package from Ivy got the cost of Ivy down to $25k a year, that $20k they'd put towards that MIGHT be a good investment or just a worthwhile expense.

Yes, but I think what everyone is missing here is that the pkg. is first and foremost dependent on the parents' income and assets, and secondarily on the student's assets. BTW, the colleges will expect a much larger portion of the student's assets to go towards college. Even at the ivies, the majority of which meet full need, they are not going to give you more than what they perceive to be your need. There are no merit scholarships at the Ivies. And the Ivies are one of a very select group that pledge to meet full need. Swarthmore goes one better--they pledge no loans. But, in most cases, if a college thinks you can pay $30000 a year, that is at least what you will be paying. In real life, it is often more, because most colleges don't meet full need. For a CSS/Profile school, it's often even worse, because they consider assets that the FAFSA does not.

I know that some privates will meet full or nearly full need---my daughter is at one of them. That's one of the criteria we used when we looked for schools. Check out the Princeton Review's Financial Aid Honor Roll for a good idea of what schools meet most of a student's need. (Her school was not on it last year, but I think it was the year before---if not, definitely the year before that). That's the key to finding a school that will be as inexpensive as a public--they meet full need.

Also, as far as outside scholarships, privates handle them all sorts of ways. A very few will let you stack them on their aid. Most will either use them to either replace loans or replace aids such as grants that the college has awarded. My daughter got some scholarships after her financial aid was calculated, and we were obligated to report them. As it turns out, the college replaced some of her loans with the scholarship money (a good thing, since she won't have to pay them back) and took away her work-study. At first, I was upset about that, bur ultimately it turned out to be a good thing too. Another little gotcha that people don't realize that if a student is granted $2000 in work-study, it still has to be paid upfront as part of the tuition bill. Most students who earn the money during the year use it as spending money. And, as it turned out, her school does not reserve on campus jobs first for work-study students, so she hustled and found herself a campus job right away. Other schools reserve jobs for work-study students first, then open them up to other students. Or, worse yet, they don't have enough jobs to go around. Just because you're "granted" work study doesn't mean you will be able to find a job. Or, as in the case of the school that "awarded' her a very large work-study amount, she would have had to work a ridiculous number of hours to reach that amount.

I hope this info helps people in the planning stages. I did a LOT of research over the last year and a half, and I'm still finding things out.
 
I don't think there is anything wrong with saying "I will pay for a State school and if you want to go out of state or private, you are responsible for the difference." You aren't saying you can't go. You aren't saying "I am unwilling to pay for your education." You are giving them the option of the decision and using cost as a factor. I can get around in a Chevy but I may want a Mercedes. I have to decide if the Mercedes is worth the sacrafice, but at the end of the day, I am still getting to and from work. For some, the Mercedes is worth it, for others it isn't.

What is wrong with a state school? At the end of it all, it is a diploma. True, it may help somewhat for that first job, but no-one cares after that. And even then, if you are a dud in the interview with a Harvard degree you still won't get the job.
 
You're assuming that we're stupid enough not to have researched what is realistic for our kids and for our family.

I calculated what I could pay and guess what? Fafsa told me the same amount almost to the penny. It just covers our state flagship schools. My kids can go to a private school if they desire, but probably only if they get offered enough scholarship money to get the cost down to that price. They know the exact number we can afford. It's not like we randomly decided - this school, period.

DS started college this year and had it narrowed down to three choices. Our state flagship, an out of state that gave him merit aid to get it to that price, and a private school that gave him merit aid to get him to that price. He had a reach school that was above our budget with no guaranteed gpa merit aid. He didn't get in so we don't know what they would have offered him if he did, but he knew already that it might not be possible to put together a package that was workable for that school. He has friends that couldn't actually go to schools they got accepted to once they got the numbers. He also has friends that were pleasantly surprised at how much merit they were offered.

My younger son may have a harder time getting scholarships. He's a junior this year and already knows what GPA he has to have to get the maximum automatic merit scholarhip (the one that gets it down to the cost of state schools) for the only private school currently on his list. So far he's on track for it.

I think you have to give people the benefit of the doubt that they know what they can afford and what might be realistic for their kids.

I haven't seen anyone here (although it is feasible there may be some people that feel this way) that has said "we can afford anything because we're wealthy, but will only pay enough for you to go to a state school." Just because we've saved carefully and can pay for our child to go to a state school, doesn't mean we have the money to pay for a private. I would much rather have my children go to a small private school, but first of all it's not my choice, and second of all we can only afford to pay for the state flagship.

Wow. I think you are misinterpreting my posts. I never assumed that you or anyone else was " stupid enough to not have researched what is realistic for our kids and for our family." What I meant was families who CAN afford to pay more, but CHOOSE not to, perhaps should encourage their children to go to a public rather than a private and having the student take on a mountain of debt. Apparently I did not make my point that well. As you saw from your own experience, it is certainly possible for privates to end up the same as a public school. Would I be correct in assuming that your FAFSA efc WAS the price of your public? If so, the private used your efc and met full need. This is what you said: Just because we've saved carefully and can pay for our child to go to a state school, doesn't mean we have the money to pay for a private. I would much rather have my children go to a small private school, but first of all it's not my choice, and second of all we can only afford to pay for the state flagship.[/QUOTE] I am talking about people who DO have the ability to pay for a private education, but CHOOSE not to, so obviously I am not referring to anyone in your situation. Two completely different situations.

ETA: You know, I just re-read my original post #92, and I see that I did NOT explain myself well at all in the first few sentences of that post. I think my subsequent post was a little better. I was referring to families who can afford to pay for more than a public school, but choose not to.
 
I can afford a public college to my children. I think offering them a free college education is a generous offer. It may not be their first choice, but I am ok with that. That is still what we are offering.

They can choose to receive a free, paid by mom and dad education, or they can CHOOSE to pay more themselves. I think that is more than fair.

We have assets. We will not qualify for any aid or help. We also don't want to be a burden on our children in our old age by spending more than we should for their college education.

Heck, my child may want to go to our local private high school to the tune of $21K for tuition only for 9th-12th grade. Guess what? They do not have a choice, they aren't going.

I make no apologies for the way we are choosing to fund our children's college. If I can pay more at the time, we will reconsider, but for now, this is what we are offering.

Dawn

There are several posters on this thread who have made it clear to their kids that they will pay for a state university education; if the child wants to attend somewhere else, they (the student) will be responsible for the extra costs. I really think those parents need to think about the message they are giving their kids and amend it to "you can go to a state university only". I don't mean to single anyone out, but honestly, it is not realistic to think that kids are going to be able to finance the difference between a public and private education or oos public if the parents have any significant assets.
 
















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