How do you relax?

[Humiliated]

My stomach is starting to feel a little better for the first time since late Saturday night. Thank you all for your suggestions and understanding.

I think the breathing thing really helped. I guess the key was to keep doing it rythmically instead of holding everything in and releasing in one big exhale. Our office is also very quiet, so ANY noise is really noticable. I made it through another day at work--yea me! Everything is measured in baby steps now. Next, I'm going to try eating dinner since I'm actually feeling hungry.

 

[bgirl29]

I do the deep breathing also and this will sound strange but when your mind starts to turn to thinking about your problems and say it is time for you to sleep not think, then try thinking STOP or saying it out loud even and immediately turn your thoughts elsewhere. After doing this for awhile when you say or think STOP your mind will automatically shift to thinking about something else. I had to learn to do this when I was dealing with alot of anxiety and having touble sleeping.

 

[Disneyfan71]

I am so very sorry you're going through this. But you must take care of yourself first and foremost. Don't worry about what everyone is saying to you!!!

 

[Disneyfan71]

 

[hellokitty86]

Bach's Rescue Remedy --I'll definitely check it out. Any idea if a store carries it, or is it only on-line?

You can find the Bach's Rescue Remedy at Whole Foods Market. Hope you start feeling better soon.

 

[Docwoods]

If exercise is too taxing right now,what about yoga or pilates?Something gentle and easy that will keep you from getting creaky.Lots of water.Probably would be a VERY good time to keep a journal-might not want to read it later,but putting thoughts down on paper might help your mind not to turn things over and over at night.Ask for assistance from God or higher power to help you through this-help is closer than you think.You will get past this and prosper.

 

[focusondisney]

Just checking in OP. Hope you can get some sleep tonight. Maybe if you sleep on "your side" with your dog next to you, you'll feel more comfortable & will get some rest. Good Luck!

 

[Humiliated]

I sat down and talked with my DS18 last evening. He seems okay, but he hasn't been honest with me either (obviously, with the drinking episode) so I don't know what to believe. I managed to eat some supper. Then DH and I went to the gym. Not a word was spoken from the time we left the house until after we got home. I did a full normal workout. Probably not a good idea—either my body just can’t handle it, or dinner didn’t settle well…or both. I got sick as soon as I got home. I just wanted to shower and crawl into bed.

I got 7 hours sleep last night—new record since all of this happened. Unfortunately, I still feel totally wiped out. just very achy, very tired. I HATE this! I want to feel good. I want to feel normal. I want to get through a day without crying. I want to be happy. I want to live, love, trust…but those things seem worlds away. I also know what a PITA I sound like. I just keep hoping someone out there has the magic cure that will help me get through all of this somehow.

 

[Disneylover79]

It sounds like you are making some progress, so just give it time...don't rush it don't over do it...you have such great support from us here on the DIS and you do not sound like a PITA you are not bothering any of us...please just keep your head high

 

[minkydog]

I walk.

I clean.

I go to church. I don't even always formally pray when I am there...sometimes I just sit there and let the feeling of being in a holy place wash over me. And I think and I let God's words come to me.

If you are not a church person, try going out into nature. I have been known to do that too, often with the same effect as going to church.

I tell myself "This too shall pass". I find that if I tell myself that often enough, I begin to believe it.

I tell myself that I must let go of things I cannot control. I find that if I tell myself that often enough, I begin to believe it.

I go walk through the cemetery across the street from my house. It is an old cemetery (some Revolutionary War graves), and so it gives me great perspective to think that all the people resting there had times in their life that were difficult, terrible, hurtful, sad...and they went on, and after they were gone, the world went on too.

to you in this difficult time.

Yes to all these things. I went through a horrifying bout of depression last year and it has been a long hard road digging out. Walking in the woods has been especially helpful. It was very hard for me to read books,watch movies, or any kind of TV during that time. LIke the OP, I would burst into tears at the drop of a hat. Walking the dog helped a lot--I would walk awhile and then sit on the curb and cry awhile. My doggie would sit beside me with his paw on my lap, licking my hand or my face. He was so empathetic.

Much as I love church, it was NOT helpful to me. I would start crying as i walked into the door and I didn't want to tell other people how bad things really were for me. So DH would take me to a nearby state park on SUnday mornings and we'd walk around the lake and sit on the benches instead.

 

[iKristin]

I put my headphones on with good music so that I can't hear anyone and play on my laptop. Especially on Dis Boards That makes me relax

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

To relax I get in the bathtub, put lots of bubbles and read a FANTASTIC book.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Are you anywhere near Palm Springs? That's where I go when I have to go.

I was just there this weekend and I am a new person.

If not, is there a Palm Springs-type area in your house? (Or can you spring for another massage but this time in your own home? Is there a snooty shopping area near you where you can go to just sit and have a coffee while you watch the super-rich go by in their cars and shopping bags?)

Is there a room where you can close it off and just sit and meditate? Or a place to build a campfire and sip a glass of wine?

 

[PatriciaH]

Yoga!

 

[crazelion]

Okay you think am crazy. Lay down on the bed and close your eyes. Focus on each muscle in body and release the tension. This will help relax more. I done this many times. Also you can try EFT aka tapping out problem. Google tapping there many youtube videos. You can use affirmations and afformations to change your subconscious mind.

If want to know do affirmations and afformations PM. I there is whole forum on this kind stuff just like WDW.

 

[Bluestars]

I'm not sure if someone has suggested this or not, but a friend of mine used some of those relaxation audio CDs. Those might help you.

I find that walking outside helps. So does listening to music and going to the movies.

I hope you start feeling better soon. This too shall pass.

 

[dislaney]

Walking around the trails in my neighborhood.

Pilates or yoga. I personally like Pilates better and find it very relaxing.

I also started writing in a journal every night. I only write three good things that have happened to me that day. Even when its almost impossible to find something good about an extremely bad day, I have found that focusing on something positive no matter how small makes me feel better and starts to relax me when I'm stressed.

Hope you get some sleep tonight.

 

[FireDancer]

This will sound weird but a nice long run always gets my mind where it needs to be. Whether it is to relax and blow off stress or work through a problem by the end of a run either the stress is gone or I have an idea of how I am going to solve the problem.

I run with no headphones and usually after dark, even in the summer and the calm and hearing nothing but my feet hit the ground and breathing lets me concentrate on whatever it is I need to do, even if it is just lose myself in the run. If you aren't a runner a walk or hike along a trail can accomplish the same. We have a National Park around here that is great for finding a trail and escaping for an hour or so.

 

[MinnieTink]

I don't know exactly what you are going thru, but I have had hard times myself and once had to run out of the grocery store in tears because of some mean dope saying something to me when I was on not-so-solid ground. If I was "myself" I would have told her with my Irish tact exactly where she could shove it. But it is hard when the "cry" is just sitting in the back of your throat just waiting for you to barely weaken before it just comes out like crazy.

You mentioned that you have been here for a while and have recently changed your name. Just my opinion, but please change it again. If I am depressed, (and I have the tendency to get that way every little while) and I came to the DIS, if my name was Depressed, or TheBlues or I'mSad....oh I would cry every time I hopped on. I know you feel humiliated and I'm sure that's justified, but I think your name is a reminder you don't need.

I know we are just strangers, but we really are "here for you" if you want to vent.

 

[Humiliated]

Thank you all for your suggestions! I consider every one of them helpful. Some have helped immediately (deep breathing, walking, stretching, affirmations, laying in a dark quiet room meditating…). Some will help when I’m in a better place (reading, running, baths). Money is tight right now, so anything that costs money is out. The last thing I need on top of my troubles is financial ruin.

I saw a counselor again yesterday. This time she gave me a few things I can do, so I feel a little less helpless and hopeless today. She said that my son should really get an alcohol assessment done ASAP (will go a long way in the eyes of the court). I really don’t think that my son is an alcoholic, but I also don’t think his views on drinking are healthy. He needs a good education in it, and to hear it from someone besides his parents. I tried to make that appointment today, but the treatment center won’t let me because he’s 18. My son has agreed to call for an appointment this afternoon.

It was suggested that I come up with a list of the things I would like to see come out of marriage counseling. I’m still working on that. Not exactly sure what I want right now.

I did call my regular doctor to tell him that the Ambien isn’t working very well. It helps me get to sleep, but doesn’t keep me asleep. He said to double the dose and gave me a refill. We’ll see how that works tonight.

Last night, we all four sat down to dinner together—AMAZING! Small steps, one day at a time, while we all begin this healing process.

Also, DH went to a support group last night (Celebrate Recovery, as suggested here). He was so nervous before he left. I actually prayed fro him while he was gone—another breakthrough! I really hope that he does get help, whether we stay together or not. It’s nice to see him taking personal responsibility and it also validated some of my feelings.

Today is a better day. I know in time, I will get stronger.