How Do You REALLY Feel About Persons with Handicaps?

[NikiM20]

Daxx your post brought tears to my eyes.

I have a friend who is disabled, she has been in a wheelchair her whole life. When we get together the last thing I even notice is her wheelchair or disability. Here is this beautiful woman, with 3 beautiful kids and she is a great person to be around with. She does large dog rescue along with others we know and is a happy go lucky woman. If she doesnt let her disability slow her down, why should I form an opinionof her, based on her wheelchair? It does not make who she is. I consider myself the lucky one that we are friends

 

[Forevryoung]

So I did my first "home assessment" (assessing communication needs) for my graduate program yesterday- an adult with a high spinal cord injury (on a ventalator...). Another grad student and I went and we had a blast- it turned into more than an "assessment". We are going back in a few weeks for game night

When I see people with mental or physical disabilities out in the community with a family member or aide, I feel this warm happy feeling inside that someone cares about them enough to help them feel as if they are a part of society and that they matter! If they are alone, I pretty much ignore them as I would ignore anyone else I walked by on the street. I don't smile and say "hi" to everyone, why would I be friendlier to someone with a disability? (obviously if I think I can assist with reaching something, opening a door... I will).

 

[Liberty Belle]

I love working with people with disabilities. Sometimes in the store I catch my eye wandering to people with obvious disabilities. I'm not sure why. I certainly don't mean any disrespect. I always smile, though.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Now I'm irritated that your irritated. Yeah it was a joke and I even said it was a bad one. If your offended, sorry. And if I ever know that I offended someone I'll apologize. But I'm not gonna live my life walking on eggshells, worried that anything I do or say may offend someone else.

There's a big difference between not walking on eggshells and making blatantly offensive "jokes." Especially in extremely inappropriate places.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

well I really don't think or feel about them at all. It seems kind of patronizing to me that their presence out in public needs my thoughts or feelings.

Sometimes when I'm out and about and I see somebody with the Service Dog, I watch because I think Service Dogs are amazing. Sometimes when I see a newer type of wheelchair or technology, I notice it because it is something new that I've never seen before. There have been times when the Jungle Cruise or something has been held up to load a noticably disabled child or individual on board, and I think "oh I hope that kid is having a good time." Really just because I know many of those kids work awfully hard at the education and therapies and they probably deserve an extra little bit of a fun vacation.

But on the whole, I think better training, education, therapy, and technology as a whole has done a world of good for so many people now that they are able to exist in our society without much disruption and notice at all.

 

[rayelias]

I recently started working at essentially an adult daycare for those who are mildly-to-extremely mentally/and or physically handicapped. I absolutely adore both the job and, especially, the clientele. But, unfortunately, on several of the outings that we have taken, we have experienced everything from obvious sidelong glances, to outright ridicule, barely concealed under the offending parties' breath. I have to admit that this has been quite a shock to me, as I thought that, despite the fact that Dubya was elected twice as our president, I thought we were living in more or less a fairly enlightened society. I guess I was wrong. As this is a new job, and I don't want to be let go, I've kept my natural instincts to lash out pretty much at bay, but it's getting harder and harder to ignore the mental ****sticks. So... I thought I'd ask outright--how do YOU, personally, feel about adults with handicaps interacting in public with more "normal" people?

Uh, that's not exactly what I said (but I will admit, that's my fault for taking a totally out-of-context swipe at Dubya). What I was getting at was that I thought that we were living in a more enlightened society these days, despite the fact that Bush (and his neo-con views) had twice been voted into office.

I think it was totally inappropriate and rather hypocritical of you to bring politics and your dislike for the President into this very sensitive issue (twice).

 

[letterdavidman]

I think it was totally inappropriate and rather hypocritical of you to bring politics and your dislike for the President into this very sensitive issue (twice).

Simmer down, now.

I see that when you quoted my message, you conveniently left out the part where I averred that I was in the wrong for bringing politics up in a thread that really had nothing to do with politics, and then apologizing for doing so.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have been around physically and mentally disabled people most of my life. My grandmother worked in a state "home" and later in group homes as did several of my aunts and cousins. Many times they brought some of their patients home for holidays and I learned early on that they were just happy to be around others.

I always see groups of disabled people at the grocery store, Wal Mart, etc. I've never noticed anyone making rude comments or being nasty to them. Most people try to help if they can (holding doors open, helping load bags, helping them get items they can't reach, or don't have the strength to carry).

The worst thing I ever witnessed against a handicapped person actually happened at WDW. But karma won out in the end. We were taking the boat from YC to the Studios. We stopped at the Swan/Dolphin to load passengers. There was a family with a severely handicapped child in one of those large wheelchairs (the kind that look more like a reclining chair).

They were having some trouble maneuvering the chair and this guy behind them just gets louder and louder complaining and making an a** of himself. He finally pushes past them and is very loud about how they are wasting his time and just messing around. Like the boat is going to take off before these people are on board anyway? He and his family go to the open spot on back of the boat.

We no sooner leave the dock than a gull decides to attack this guy. Really attacking him, diving at his head and pecking very hard. Everyone on the boat is laughing and pointing. The boat captains even help turn the child around so he can laugh at him too! As soon as we leave the boat dock, the gull comes back and leaves a "package" on this guy's head. He was screaming and cussing, making a huge deal out of it. The child he pushed out of the way was laughing so hard, I thought that was just the greatest thing!

When we walked past the guy, DH said in a really loud voice, "I'm so glad that child still has such a great sense of humor and can laugh at what is really funny!"

My mother says "God gets ya, and it ain't always pretty". I would have enjoyed being on that boat.

 

[Disney Doll]

Simmer down, now.

I see that when you quoted my message, you conveniently left out the part where I averred that I was in the wrong for bringing politics up in a thread that really had nothing to do with politics, and then apologizing for doing so.

Most likely because she responded to your post before reading the whole thread.

I almost did the same thing but then thought "Even lettterdavidman can't really think that these 2 issue sare in any way related", so I kept reading & found your follow-up.

To answer the original question....have no problem with disabled people. Everybody has a spot in the world.

 

[chris1gill]

welcome to our world
Not necessarily always the nicest place to be.
Having been the mother of a child with obvious disabilities for quite some time now, it seems that people are getting less tolerant, not more (especially in the last 6 years).

I have to agree, only I'm the one in the wheelchair... we just arrived back from Disney this morning & I have to agree with SueM here... just from this standpoint alone, it was our worst Disney trip in years.... But I think I'll have to go to the Disabilities board to share my story, because I'd be flamed forever on this board

 

[Tiziminchac]

There's a big difference between not walking on eggshells and making blatantly offensive "jokes." Especially in extremely inappropriate places.

Go ahead and stone me.

 

[Cindyluwho]

I used to feel kinda uncomfortable around mentally handicapped people...then I had Christian. He's my 11yo. Christian is severely/profoundly mentally ********. He needs 24hr supervision and full assistance with everything from eating to dressing to toileting. As a result of caring for him, I have become pretty passionate about disabilities.

Just yesterday I had him in the neurologist office and a little 5yo girl shouted,"what's wrong with that boy?!" Her mother nearly had a heart attack and quickly(and severely!) shushed her. I leaned over and spoke to the girl first, telling her that Christian's brain is slow and he never could learn to talk. The mother was still trying to get the girl to just shut up so I leaned over and said to the mom," it's okay, we know he's ******** " Sometimes a little dose of humor just lightens the load. she relaxed and let the little girl ask her questions and that was the end of it.

I don't mind people asking questions, especially children. I don't like it when adults react strongly to childish questions or make faces or act like Christian is contagious or dirty. Yeah, he drools sometimes and he makes weird noises. But he also plays the piano and sings and swims and eats ice cream. He knows where the cookies are and he has his favorite videos. He likes to go camping, likes to hike in the woods, and he loves to ride his horse. In short, my son Christian is a lot like other people, only less intelligent.

I just wanted to say that I love your post! You sound like an amazing mom!

 

[Pat]

I have very bad knees and will use an ECV in the grocery store or at Disney. I do find that at the grocery store a lot of people see me stop and go to reach for something and they will ask if they can help.

I am very comfortable around people who may be handicapped. I will quite often start up a conversation. I have met some very nice kids and people in the wheelchair/ECV section of the different attractions at Disney.

Just last week I was chatting with a young fellow who was wheeling himself in a wheelchair. He was with a woman and a child. I was with an adult daughter. As we were comparing notes about people not seeing us, I ran into one of those big sandwich like board signs. My daughter and his companion all started laughing and pretending they did not know us. I just moved the edge of the sign and nobody was hurt.

 

[ducklite]

I have very bad knees and will use an ECV in the grocery store or at Disney. I do find that at the grocery store a lot of people see me stop and go to reach for something and they will ask if they can help.

I am very comfortable around people who may be handicapped. I will quite often start up a conversation. I have met some very nice kids and people in the wheelchair/ECV section of the different attractions at Disney.

Just last week I was chatting with a young fellow who was wheeling himself in a wheelchair. He was with a woman and a child. I was with an adult daughter. As we were comparing notes about people not seeing us, I ran into one of those big sandwich like board signs. My daughter and his companion all started laughing and pretending they did not know us. I just moved the edge of the sign and nobody was hurt.

Pat,

No offense, but that was funny! I hope I'm laughing with you, you seemed to tell that story with a sense of humour.

I have a friend who is profoundly hard of hearing and had a similar story, he and a friend were walking down the steet and signing, and he walked right into a pole. To this day he swears he's never laughed so hard in his life.

Anne

 

[mickeyfan2]

Simmer down, now.

I see that when you quoted my message, you conveniently left out the part where I averred that I was in the wrong for bringing politics up in a thread that really had nothing to do with politics, and then apologizing for doing so.

Better yet fix the OP and take all political references out.

 

[JunieJay]

I feel protective of people who are disabled. Like I want to make sure they don't ever feel threatened or harmed or ridiculed. Perhaps that isn't the appropriate response, but if I am honest I will say that is how I feel when I encounter someone who is disabled. I try to treat them just like I would someone who isn't disabled, but I know I probably go out of my way to be a little kinder to someone who is.

 

[MrsPete]

The Christian school where my daughters were students for years, we encountered many mildly-******** people who were employed as janitors. I taught my daughters to smile and nod to them, then walk on by and let them finish their work. We'd open a door for them if they were coming through with a cart or something. Sometimes one of them would initiate a conversation, and we'd just keep it short and sweet. They always seemed so happy to be at work.

I always liked that the church provided a simple job that these folks could manage and enjoy. Many of them lived in the attached retirement home (though they weren't elderly), so they could just walk to work. I was happy that they were able to find a place to "fit into the world".

We frequently see groups of obviously handicapped adults at the large mall near us -- these folks have issues that go way beyond those mildly-******** janitors. I was embarassed several times when my daughters were younger and would ask -- always loudly -- "What's wrong with that lady?" I'd whisper to them that I'd explain later -- and I would once we were out of earshot. I've always taught my children that they are to be kind to people who aren't as fortunate as they are, and that they are to say a little prayer for that person's well-being. We're not likely to speak -- unless, of course, we knew someone in the group -- but we certainly wouldn't say anything negative.

I find it shocking that adults would be so rude!

 

[freckles and boo]

I feel protective of people who are disabled. Like I want to make sure they don't ever feel threatened or harmed or ridiculed. Perhaps that isn't the appropriate response, but if I am honest I will say that is how I feel when I encounter someone who is disabled. I try to treat them just like I would someone who isn't disabled, but I know I probably go out of my way to be a little kinder to someone who is.

I appreciate your truthfulness and admit that I probably do the same thing. I think I am probably more aware and inclusive now that I have a child with autism. I have learned not to make any assumptions and not to behave in a way that is condescending. Disabilities sometimes have a way of hiding abilities and it can be easy to underestimate people simply because they appear a certain way or wear a certain label.

 

[bubie2.5]

I do stare when I see a Down’s child, but only because it reminds me of my niece, we only had her for 8 years, but the word “special” fit her to a T.

Just today I stopped a father with her wheelchair bound daughter in the supermarket to ask them about their wheelchair, I’m thinking about buying a new one for my mother. At first they were a little surprised I jumped them, but then the three of us staring exchanging stories about wheelchairs and when you know is time to get a new one, by the time my partner joined us, the conversation had evolved to when you know you have to buy a new fridge. What I’m trying to say is that you might have an opinion about handicapped people, but when it hits home, your whole perspective changes and the handicapped doesn’t look all that different from yourself.

You can say I feel a kind of camaraderie for the majority of handicapped people, and you can thank my niece and my mother for that.

 

[JunieJay]

I appreciate your truthfulness and admit that I probably do the same thing. I think I am probably more aware and inclusive now that I have a child with autism. I have learned not to make any assumptions and not to behave in a way that is condescending. Disabilities sometimes have a way of hiding abilities and it can be easy to underestimate people simply because they appear a certain way or wear a certain label.

Exactly. There is a fine line between acting kind and acting condescending, and in my effort to be kind, I'm sure I come off as condescending at times. I'm aware of it though, and try to reign it in when I find myself going there.