How Do You REALLY Feel About Persons with Handicaps?

[Mysteria]

Febreeze. That seems to be the solution for all!

Myst

 

[Acklander]

I'm comfortable with a blended society, as I feel we all have our place/purpose in it. If there was a large group of special needs people on an outing, I might stare in awe for a few seconds, just the same as I stare when there is any large goup such as boycouts,cheerleaders, the red hat ladies, etc... Lets face it, when you have a large group people are going to notice you more. Last time when I was sitting waiting for the liberty singers there was a young man that was obviously mentally challenged sitting and waiting next to me and I treated him the same way I treat anyone sitting next to me at Disney. I chatted with him about how his trip was going, what was his favorite things so far,etc....
As far as people making rude comments - I can't help but wonder about a person who thinks it's acceptable or appropriate to make hateful and hurtful comments about complete strangers based on appearances alone. Those are the people who I think are truly damaged in our society, not the physically or mentally challenged ones.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I don't look or acknowledge that they are "different". I know alot people with different disabilities and know how they feel including family members.

 

[Belle68]

As a mother of a mentally handicapped child I think that a lot of people are ignorant and need a little educating and then they will maybe understand, unfortunately this will never happen.
Speaking from experience when DD was younger, people were really friendly and full of "shes so cute", now that DD is older and still doing the same "cute" things we just get glares, stares and tuts.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD and good luck with the job, hang on in there!!!

I must just add that Disney is one of the few places where we feel really comfortable.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I have never really had a problem with either mental or physical handicap. As my mother used to help with a charity to help them learn to swim, BUT having seen several families distroyed by the stress of coping with a severly mentally handicapped child IF I found out I was pregnant with a mentally handicapped child I would terminate that pregnancy. I used to work with a woman who worked with adult downs syndrome people, she was attacked more than once by adults with the mental age of 4 and under.

 

[LaraK]

I worked with adults with disabilities for a number of years. I feel rather passionate about the topic, as my sister has CP (low tone, not high tone). When I took out the ladies, sometimes people would stare. Often children had questions. I actually didn't have that much of an issue with that. I figured that they had discomfort because they were unused to interacting with people who looked/acted like that. I brushed it off to human nature.

It bothered me far more when people snickered behind their hands, glared or were patronizing.

 

[LJC1861]

I have been working with people with disabilities for over 25 years. For most of my career I have worked with people with a dual diagnosis.....a developmental disability as well as a psychiatric disability. Right now I am working with teenagers and young adults with Autism.

What I have learned more than anything working with these wonderful people is that first and foremost they are PEOPLE with a disablity, not disabled people.

Why the difference in semantics? The focus should be on the person not the disability. Each of the folks I have worked with throughout my career has changed my life in some way and I will be forever grateful to all of them but especially to Charles, Audie, Bobby, Gloria, Holland, Mitchell, Patty, Randy, Sharon, Rusty............I could go on and on.

Each and every person in this world and in your life has something to share with you. It is up to you to let them, in their individual way.

Linda

 

[Acklander]

As a mother of a mentally handicapped child I think that a lot of people are ignorant and need a little educating and then they will maybe understand, unfortunately this will never happen.

You know what - I think you're right about this. You know the show "Little People,Big World"? I remember one of the segments showed the dad (I'm so bad with names!!!!) talking at an elementary school where he described what it was like to be a little person and opened up the floor with questions from the kids. I thought that made sense - Small kids can be so accepting, once they understand. With that one seminar I bet he cleared up a lot of ignorance and misconceptions. When my oldest son was in first grade he had a classmate who had severe physical challenges (but was smart as a whip) and during the first few weeks of class she came to the class to describe the disability (I can't remember the name of it), describe what limitations he had (was in a wheelchair, plus was very fragile as his bones break easily), what he had no problems doing, and answering everyones questions. This approach worked out very well and all the kids in the class just accepted him as one of their own. Education can go a long way.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

My proudest moment was last year at the Memorial Day parade. My DD was marching with the girl scouts. I had purchased small flags for each member of the troop to wave. At the end of the route my DD didn't have her flag and one girl was throwing a tantrum about losing her flag. There was a mother walking with the girls that had a handicapped son in an umbrella stroller, probably about 4 yo. Apparently the other girl had dropped her flag and he picked it up. She was throwing such a tantrum that my DD gave her her flag. When I asked her about it later she told me that the little boy wasn't like them and that he didn't do it to get her friend mad. Since her friend couldn't understand this, my DD just gave her the flag. She was 6 at the time. It really upset her that her friend was being mean to this little boy.

Treat people how you would like to be treated. Life is so much easier that way.

 

[Daxx]

Whenever I'm out and see any people with disabilities (mental or otherwise), I always give a smile or say hello to them and am comfortable around them. They share my world, so why NOT be friendly!? Some will strike up a conversation w/me which is fine and I'm always willing and happy to chat. I think it's great to see a group out doing what "everyone else" is doing ... whether it's bowling, shopping, at the movies, etc. What -- we should keep them inside where "normal" (what's normal,anyway?) people shouldn't see them!? That's stupid. And, by my being so open with them, I hope to set an example for my child on how ALL people should be treated.

A few weeks ago, I met this guy on the chairlift at our ski resort. Turns out he knows my nephew (long story) but he was telling me that his DD is mentally challenged and was in lessons with this skiing program she was in. Cut to this past Tuesday. DS and I were at McDonald's and there was the guy from the ski resort. I went over to him and said "Hi! You're John, right?" and he said yes. I explained who I was and how we met at the ski resort. His DD was w/him and my DS spent a long time talking to her about all kinds of stuff. After we left, he said "She's really nice, Mom! Did you know she skis and ice skates?" I asked what they talked about and he said Harry Potter movies. I am thrilled that DS was so caring w/this girl who he didn't even know and who was not like him. People might have disabilities, but that doesn't mean that they don't have emotions, fears, etc. We're all the same, we all have the same feelings ... God just made some of us differently.

Once, when we were skiing, there was a mentally challenged man waiting in line for the lifts. I was w/DS and it was a crowded day where they want to fill the chairs and not just let one person ride up. Anyway, the other skiers were just sort of pushing past him, etc. I said "Do you want to go up w/us?" and he said yes. It seemed like the people in line were afraid of him and/or were in avoidance mode. I heard someone behind me say "That was really nice of her" and I thought "No, that's just me being a freaking human being." I didn't say anything but prob. should have.

There are a few kids in my school whose brothers or sisters have disabilities and when those siblings (who attend different schools) come in for our school events, I always take time to talk to them. One is non-verbal but every time I approach him, he has a tremendous smile for me. Another was in an accident that caused severe brain injury and he will never be like he was. He's learning to talk and usually yells words out. Every time I see him, he yells out "Teacher!" and runs over to give me a hug.

 

[Lachesis00]

I have no problem with disabled people as I am disabled myself... have been since birth.

My son has no problems with disabled people. He does have a problem with folks looking at (me) them oddly or whispering or worse, imitating (yes we've seen it).
He almost got in a fist fight at school last year (this also happened in the 5th grade-- punched the neighborhood bully)... b/c a kid was immitating me. ;( It is hard to tell you kid to walk away from the trouble maker, it isn't worth it. Especially in high school when you are much more likely to be suspended or worse vs elementry or JR high.
Luckily my son is very compassionate and empathetic to people who look differently and always has been. I am also blessed his friends seem to be equally positive around disabled people (at least around me).

 

[freckles and boo]

on a personal note-i can say that people can be much more 'accepting' and kind when a person has a visable vs. an 'invisable' disability.

My four-year-old is a child with autism. She is very smart but has serious communication issues. She looks perfectly "normal" but some of her behaviors and speech mannerisms make her seem odd at times. If she were in a wheelchair or using a walker, nobody would question that she was a child with a disability. I have gotten many "why can't you control that child?" scowls. I have my hands full and usually disregard the know-it-alls and disapproving grannies. So far nobody has had the nerve to actually say anything but I am waiting for the first person who dares.

 

[froglady]

I recently started working at essentially an adult daycare for those who are mildly-to-extremely mentally/and or physically handicapped. I absolutely adore both the job and, especially, the clientelle. But, unfortunately, on several of the outings that we have taken, we have experienced everything from obvious sidelong glances, to outright ridicule, barely concealed under the offending parties' breath. I have to admit that this has been quite a shock to me, as I thought that, despite the fact that Dubya was elected twice as our president, I thought we were living in more or less a fairly enlightened society. I guess I was wrong. As this is a new job, and I don't want to be let go, I've kept my natural instincts to lash out pretty much at bay, but it's getting harder and harder to ignore the mental ****sticks. So... I thought I'd ask outright--how do YOU, personally, feel about adults with handicaps interacting in public with more "normal" people?

Wow. Bush is responsible for a person's attitude towards those with handicaps! What power.

Seriously, do you really think people had a BETTER attitude in the past, when people with handicaps were hidden away in hospitals or were never able to leave the house? This was the world many of us were raised in, and those attitudes don't change overnight. I'm thankful that they are changing, and I pray that the change will be completed in my children's lifetime, but realize that it may take longer...regardless of WHO is in the White House.

 

[letterdavidman]

Wow. Bush is responsible for a person's attitude towards those with handicaps! What power.

Seriously, do you really think people had a BETTER attitude in the past, when people with handicaps were hidden away in hospitals or were never able to leave the house? This was the world many of us were raised in, and those attitudes don't change overnight. I'm thankful that they are changing, and I pray that the change will be completed in my children's lifetime, but realize that it may take longer...regardless of WHO is in the White House.

Uh, that's not exactly what I said (but I will admit, that's my fault for taking a totally out-of-context swipe at Dubya). What I was getting at was that I thought that we were living in a more enlightened society these days, despite the fact that Bush (and his neo-con views) had twice been voted into office.

But, like I said, I really should have left my personal political views out of this particular thread. Sorry.

 

[dixipixi]

I have been around physically and mentally disabled people most of my life. My grandmother worked in a state "home" and later in group homes as did several of my aunts and cousins. Many times they brought some of their patients home for holidays and I learned early on that they were just happy to be around others.

I always see groups of disabled people at the grocery store, Wal Mart, etc. I've never noticed anyone making rude comments or being nasty to them. Most people try to help if they can (holding doors open, helping load bags, helping them get items they can't reach, or don't have the strength to carry).

The worst thing I ever witnessed against a handicapped person actually happened at WDW. But karma won out in the end. We were taking the boat from YC to the Studios. We stopped at the Swan/Dolphin to load passengers. There was a family with a severely handicapped child in one of those large wheelchairs (the kind that look more like a reclining chair).

They were having some trouble maneuvering the chair and this guy behind them just gets louder and louder complaining and making an a** of himself. He finally pushes past them and is very loud about how they are wasting his time and just messing around. Like the boat is going to take off before these people are on board anyway? He and his family go to the open spot on back of the boat.

We no sooner leave the dock than a gull decides to attack this guy. Really attacking him, diving at his head and pecking very hard. Everyone on the boat is laughing and pointing. The boat captains even help turn the child around so he can laugh at him too! As soon as we leave the boat dock, the gull comes back and leaves a "package" on this guy's head. He was screaming and cussing, making a huge deal out of it. The child he pushed out of the way was laughing so hard, I thought that was just the greatest thing!

When we walked past the guy, DH said in a really loud voice, "I'm so glad that child still has such a great sense of humor and can laugh at what is really funny!"

 

[Nancyg56]

Wow. Bush is responsible for a person's attitude towards those with handicaps! What power.

Seriously, do you really think people had a BETTER attitude in the past, when people with handicaps were hidden away in hospitals or were never able to leave the house? This was the world many of us were raised in, and those attitudes don't change overnight. I'm thankful that they are changing, and I pray that the change will be completed in my children's lifetime, but realize that it may take longer...regardless of WHO is in the White House.

I remember those days, they really were not so long ago. My neighbor, now my brother's BIL, was born with physical disabilities. His Dad was telling us how they had to leave him in the hospital, very few visitations, etc. The same for my DH when he was diagnosed with what was thought to be polio. Schools were not mainstreamed at that time, in fact I remember that Tom was the first child to attend a "regular" school. He was having a problem getting hired and a friend of mine worked at the Hartford. He was able to get him an interview that opened the door for him. Again I was astounded that he needed outside help, he was the most brilliant man I knew, but those doors were just opening then. This was 31 years ago, and times have changed a lot since then.

Every change in attitude takes time and begins with one individual. I cringe every time I read some of these stories because I cannot understand how this cruelty toward anyone would give any pleasure, but I know that the stories that are told here can help make the changes occur faster. Each is a learning opportunity. None of us in our neighborhood thought that Tom was different, he was just the guy next door. We played and we bickered the way neighborhood friends do. It was in my adult years that I began to understand that his life was not the same as mine and that he was challenged in ways that I would never see and that he would seldom talk about. He has spent his adult life educating others, and inspiring children.

I know that the jokes that we see here are not meant to be cruel or to offend but I cannot imagine the impact they have on a Mother who has just watched her beloved child ridiculed by others or perhaps left out once again. The jokes diminish the challenges and really are not called for. Perhaps one less joke told or responded to could be one road to a positive change.

 

[sha_lyn]

Uh, that's not exactly what I said (but I will admit, that's my fault for taking a totally out-of-context swipe at Dubya). What I was getting at was that I thought that we were living in a more enlightened society these days, despite the fact that Bush (and his neo-con views) had twice been voted into office.

But, like I said, I really should have left my personal political views out of this particular thread. Sorry.

It's hard for me to take anything political serious from people who throw Bush/politics into things it has nothing to do with. I have a friend who is the same way. I can not take her seriously about politics because everything seems to be Bush's fault.

As for the OT.... I guess I've just been exposed to physical and mental handicaps all my life. It's something thats never bothered me. My grandmother/mother (am I did 1 summer as a teen)) worked in a nursing home when I was growning up. My great-grandmother was a resident there for a couple of yrs before she died. So I grew up around people in wheelchairs walkers etc. My 2nd cousin is just a few weeks older than my mom. He suffered brain damage from a fever as a toddler and has been metally handicapped ever since. I grew up around him and spent a lot of time with him.

 

[ducklite]

My mom's best friends son who is a year older than me has CP. He's both mentally and physically disabled. I grew up being around him every week. Additionally the son of another close family friend has Down's Syndrome. He's the most wonderful person--he's about ten years younger than me, so I always thought of him as a younger brother--I had five, what's one more, right!?! I'm sooo very proud of what he's accomplished in his life.

I guess because I've been around people with obvious disabilities my entire life, I'm comfortable interacting with them.

FWIW, sometimes I think the "stares" aren't "glares" but natural and normal curiousity. The human mind will "stare" at anything unusual--a woman with pink hair, a man wearing a powder blue leisure suit in this day and age, a family with quints--anything that's "different" than the eye is used to seeing. I don't think that's a bad thing at all, if anything observing people who are different can help us learn to be more accepting of the differences by realizing how many similarities we also have.

I"ll admit the one time I stared--and I mean gawked and stared--was a man who was obviously having some mental issues who was running around Central Park in the nude yelling at the squirrels. It was like a train wreck. I didn't want to watch, but I was compelled to. Well, until EMS and the police showed up. I'm sure his next stop was Bellevue.

Anne

 

[SueM in MN]

I think the Nazi euthanasia program should be brought back!


Bad jokes aside, how am I supposed to feel? I thank God I am who I am and have nothing but compassion for those less fortunate. All life is valuable and should be respected.

I think about that every time I see a story or book about Nazis, WW2 or death camps.
It's a pretty sobering thought to know that if we had lived in that time and place, my Dd would have been put to death just for the fact that she was born with cerebral palsy.

Not something I like to think about.

 

[mcco5543]

I'm a wheelchair user, I never even notice people staring, pointing or talking under their breath. I always notice when they walk away, dirt ignore me, or try to pretend My wheelchair doesn't exist.
I was born paralyzed from the waist down (Spina Bifida) My sister and friends tell me all the time how many people stare and point and say things under their breath. I don't notice anymore, it's always been a part of my life. Also, quite frankly (please don't flame me guys,) it's not my problem if those without disabilities are too uncomfortable to just come up and ask me why I am a wheelchair user or Why am I missing a leg (I became an amputee later in life as well). It's not my job to make the person in the grocery store comfortable. All I can do is be open and friendly and hope people notice that I'm the type of person you can talk to and ask anything to, and that I have many interests and maybe we'll have lots more in common than the things that are different between us.