How do you feel about this?

[poohandwendy]

So according to this logic you're probably OK with the mom who left her sleeping child in her BMW and took her dog into Nieman Marcus to pick up a few things in Scottsdale, AZ just last week? After all, what are the chances that someone is going to pick that particular car to break into etc, etc. She was only in the store for about 30 minutes or so.

Oh, come on. It's quite a stretch to get from A to B on that one.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I'll admit it - I've done it. Showered, mowed the lawn, done laundry, cleaned the garage, and YES, gone to a neighbor's while the baby is sleeping, with a baby monitor. All of my friends do it. (Yes, I'd jump off a bridge with them, too. ) We live in an incredibly safe neighborhood and the monitors light up with the smallest movement, even when turned down.

I would never turn it off and hang around for an hour, though.

Same here, on all accounts

 

[cats7494]

Oh my! No way would I do that! My daughter is 10 months and there is no way I could even think of doing that..it is just asking for trouble...especially since they stayed so long after they turned off the monitor! CRAZY!

 

[Goofyluver]

I'm not okay with this at all and I would have never done this. And, cats mom is correct. If child services were to come in, what would happen? Do you think they would have been okay with it? You never know what could happen.

 

[freckles and boo]

My dad was a firefighter for thirty-three years. One of the most memorable events from my childhood was the emotional damage my father suffered when he found a seven month old infant dead in a crib. The parents were too intoxicated to remember they even had a child and left a burning house without the baby. Fires do happen, although in many areas they are often the consequences of poverty and bad choices. Other things happen, too. Carbon monoxide can build up. Babies can get wound up in their bedding or an infant that can pull itself up can fall from it's crib. Babies can choke on a broken pacifier. Granted, these things could happen if you are across the hall, too. It still seems irresponsible to me to be out of the home that long without checking. I can say I wouldn't have been at all comfortable with being that far from my kids when they were so small.

 

[mum4jenn]

NO WAY!!!! I never even liked going to the mailbox if I was the only one home with my dd when she was a baby.

 

[PixiePop]

I would never do it.

 

[ford family]

I have a major problem with this and think it could even be considered child neglect.

The sound was turned off, and they were "socializing" (and their attention was diverted.) I don't believe for one minute that they were truly "monitoring" that baby. Yes, they checked on the child from time to time visually (utilizing the monitor), but that was it.

Why would they turn the sound down? Were they afraid their baby might disrupt the party? Talk about putting yourself first (a party over taking care of their child)...

I agree. It is also almost certainly illegal. Whilst there is no statewide minimum age in Minnesota for leaving a child home alone, the social services guidelines for Dakota County, for example, are to investigate when a child under 7, let alone nine months, is left alone for any length of time. :- from http://www.co.dakota.mn.us/attorney/FAQ/Faq19.htm.

I, too, am astounded at the cavalier responses of many posters on this thread.

ford family

 

[mrsltg]

ummmm, no, you're not overreacting, OP. Going to a party is different from sitting outside of your home. Yes, leaving a baby home alone is illegal and I'd love to see the defense, "But, Your Honor, my clients brought their baby monitor with them!" Hire a babysitter. The baby was alone in the house for three hours. Hard to see where this is ok.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I don't know what the going rate for sitters are in the OPs area, but let us use $10/hr. So the babies safety is not worth $35?

 

[U2_rocks!]

I, too, am astounded at the cavalier responses of many posters on this thread.

ford family

Different comfort levels is all. I'm not sure I could say where the point of "neglect" was in this situation. We all draw a different line. I personally don't care about the legalities in the US, since I don't live there - I am thinking morally only. My own personal comfort level is somewhere in between "next door with monitor" and "turned off monitor for almost an hour". I can't narrow it down any more than that because it would depend on many things, such as noise levels, alcohol consumption, proximity of my house to theirs, line of sight to my house ... all sorts of things.

But in general I don't feel that it's "neglectful" to simply walk out of the walls of your house (I haven't said how far) with monitor in hand, leaving a sleeping child inside. It may be outside of many people's comfort zones, and "wrong" for THEM, but that doesn't necessarily make it "wrong" for everyone. I'm speaking generally here, not to anyone in particular.

BTW: if something happens to a child, no matter where the parents were (in the next room, or the next house) they will second-guess themselves. There is always some other precaution which could have been taken that didn't seem necessary at the time. They will beat themselves up no matter what - there doesn't have to be true neglect to make a parent feel guilty and at fault somehow. I'm not sure a parent could feel worse just because they made a decision that was a little riskier than most of their friends would be comfortable with. However, they will face lots of judgement and maybe legal repercussions, and those are valid things to consider for those of us parents who aren't super protective by nature.

 

[kinntj]

NO WAY!!!! I don't touch foot outside unless my children are with me or with someone who's responsible (grandparents/babysitter).

 

[noodleknitter]

I wouldn't go to a party, and turn off the monitor at the end.

I would and have, however, gone to the mailbox, mowed, stood at the street talking, showered, and even gone next door to ask a question. I don't see the world as being horribly dangerous. Especially not my part. And I choose not to live in fear, paranoia and irrational concern.

 

[cats mom]

Oh, come on. It's quite a stretch to get from A to B on that one.

Why?

Both children were left completely unattended.

The arguement I quoted rationalized that because the chances of a fire etc. happening in the 3 hours the parents were gone was slim, it was OK for them to get away and have some time with other grown-ups.

I'm sure the mom who left her child in the car figured the chances of anything bad happening while she ran into the store were slim as well.

What's so different?

I still contend that by turning off the monitor and staying at the party the parents escalated an incident that could probably considered as one that was in a gray area into something more serious and indefensible.

 

[poohandwendy]

Why?

Both children were left completely unattended.

The arguement I quoted rationalized that because the chances of a fire etc. happening in the 3 hours the parents were gone was slim, it was OK for them to get away and have some time with other grown-ups.

I'm sure the mom who left her child in the car figured the chances of anything bad happening while she ran into the store were slim as well.

What's so different?

I still contend that by turning off the monitor and staying at the party the parents escalated an incident that could probably considered as one that was in a gray area into something more serious and indefensible.

I meant it was a stretch to assume the other posters position on that particular case.

Both cases are completely different in that one situation in that the child is being left in a public area, the other the child is being left in it's own bed with the parents monitoring.

I don't think anyone here said that turning the monitor off was a good idea.

 

[JunieJay]

Different comfort levels is all. I'm not sure I could say where the point of "neglect" was in this situation. We all draw a different line. I personally don't care about the legalities in the US, since I don't live there - I am thinking morally only. My own personal comfort level is somewhere in between "next door with monitor" and "turned off monitor for almost an hour". I can't narrow it down any more than that because it would depend on many things, such as noise levels, alcohol consumption, proximity of my house to theirs, line of sight to my house ... all sorts of things.

But in general I don't feel that it's "neglectful" to simply walk out of the walls of your house (I haven't said how far) with monitor in hand, leaving a sleeping child inside. It may be outside of many people's comfort zones, and "wrong" for THEM, but that doesn't necessarily make it "wrong" for everyone. I'm speaking generally here, not to anyone in particular.

BTW: if something happens to a child, no matter where the parents were (in the next room, or the next house) they will second-guess themselves. There is always some other precaution which could have been taken that didn't seem necessary at the time. They will beat themselves up no matter what - there doesn't have to be true neglect to make a parent feel guilty and at fault somehow. I'm not sure a parent could feel worse just because they made a decision that was a little riskier than most of their friends would be comfortable with. However, they will face lots of judgement and maybe legal repercussions, and those are valid things to consider for those of us parents who aren't super protective by nature.

Better than I ever could have said! MTE though!

 

[Desnik]

These parents had a bunch of options. They could've gotten a babysitter, stayed home or take turns going to the party to see their friends. I can't imagine that going to this party was so important they just had to leave their baby home and take the monitor and stay for 3+ hours!
No one is a perfect parent and we all do things differently but come on. Common sense is to not leave a child/baby home alone. It is illegal for a reason! I don't see how you can turn off the monitor and "forget" you had a baby at home not being monitored and be so inthralled by your conversation!(when they were getting ready to leave) I don't see how sitting on your front porch with a monitor is the same. They were inside someone elses home with lots of distractions and noise. Yes things happen when parents are around but it only takes a second for something to happen, why risk it? And even putting that aside I just don't see how someone would think nothing of leaving their baby alone and enjoying themselves at a party.

Personally I wouldn't do it. And in no way am I a perfect parent. The one post here that really bothered me is the one where the person said what were the odds of something happening? You just never know. A year ago my family and I were driving in our car and suddenly we were in a horrific accident involving a freak accident with a tractor trailor. It detatched from the cab and the trailor part crossed the median, and highway heading directly in front of my car. Do ya want to know what the odds were for that happening? We had a better shot of being struck by lightening, or winning the mega millions lottery!! Thank goodness I didn't have the mindset of, what are the odds of us getting into an accident today, I don't need to wear my seatbelt. You should never take a chance especially when our children are involved. To the OP, I agree with you and I would've had the same reaction. I also agree with the posters who are alittle taken back by some of the posters seeing nothing wrong with this.

 

[poohandwendy]

Different comfort levels is all. I'm not sure I could say where the point of "neglect" was in this situation. We all draw a different line. I personally don't care about the legalities in the US, since I don't live there - I am thinking morally only. My own personal comfort level is somewhere in between "next door with monitor" and "turned off monitor for almost an hour". I can't narrow it down any more than that because it would depend on many things, such as noise levels, alcohol consumption, proximity of my house to theirs, line of sight to my house ... all sorts of things.

But in general I don't feel that it's "neglectful" to simply walk out of the walls of your house (I haven't said how far) with monitor in hand, leaving a sleeping child inside. It may be outside of many people's comfort zones, and "wrong" for THEM, but that doesn't necessarily make it "wrong" for everyone. I'm speaking generally here, not to anyone in particular.

BTW: if something happens to a child, no matter where the parents were (in the next room, or the next house) they will second-guess themselves. There is always some other precaution which could have been taken that didn't seem necessary at the time. They will beat themselves up no matter what - there doesn't have to be true neglect to make a parent feel guilty and at fault somehow. I'm not sure a parent could feel worse just because they made a decision that was a little riskier than most of their friends would be comfortable with. However, they will face lots of judgement and maybe legal repercussions, and those are valid things to consider for those of us parents who aren't super protective by nature.

i completely agree.

 

[cats mom]

I meant it was a stretch to assume the other posters position on that particular case.

Both cases are completely different in that one situation in that the child is being left in a public area, the other the child is being left in it's own bed with the parents monitoring.

I don't think anyone here said that turning the monitor off was a good idea.

Sorry, I didn't get all that from your first post.

I probably did make a leap in assuming how the poster would react to the second situation. But if you accept the arguement I quoted as it was posted, it certainly could apply to and justify both incidents.

Anyway, as someone who has had their house broken into I guess I've lost a bit of that security as far as nothing bad is likely to happen if the child is at home in their own bed.

Unfortunately it can and it does.

 

[Gymbomom]

Nothing happened to the baby, so I am sure those parents think it was no big deal.
But, if something happened, they would regret that descision for the rest of their lives.


JMO.... but....Parents need to think things through all the way before making decisions.

Sure, I have thought hey, I could leave the kids in the car while I run in a grab a gallon of milk...it's only 5 minutes. OR, I can send my child alone to the bathroom this one time....etc...etc.... But, every time the What if's are too scary for me, and NOT WORTH IT.

I mean our children are the most precious things we have.....are they not worth the "inconvience"???