How do you feel about this?

[Fishbone†]

I don’t like to judge other people’s choices, particularly when they don’t affect me in any way, but this has been bothering me since it happened….. to me it just seems so wrong.

DH2B and I went to a Christmas party at a one of his friend’s house. Now, keep in mind there were only three people (well four if I count myself) at this entire party that I’d ever even met before. My DH2B, his friend, and his friend’s wife….. and even at that, I’d only met the wife one other time. So, the guys are downstairs drinking beer, shooting pool and talking fishing and hunting, I was upstairs with the girls listening to their girlfriend trip stories and great purse buys. I didn’t have a terrible time, but it’s always hard to be the outsider. All that to say, I didn’t know anyone there to speak of.

So about 9:00, this guy shows up carrying a baby monitor – it was one of those with the video option. I’d actually never seen that before – I didn’t know it existed. He makes some comment about his wife being on her way and heads downstairs. Soon after, the wife shows up, and they spend the next 2 ½ hours at the party periodically checking the monitor (on which the sound was turned off because of the party). I had no idea how old the child at home was, but curiosity finally got the best of me and I asked. 9 MONTHS!!!! My eyes were practically glued to the monitor after that. I couldn’t believe it. They apparently live next door, but I still don’t think this is right. The monitor was downstairs and had some reception issues, but for the most part worked. Then – the kicker – about 11:45 they decide they should head home. She unplugs the monitor, puts it in her bag, gathers their things, and head for the door….. stop at the door to talk a little – those who are left are all upstairs, and the conversation continues and migrates to the kitchen where the remaining 4 or 5 couples (including Mr. and Mrs. Baby Monitor) proceed to converse for the next 55 minutes. Now I wasn’t comfortable with the baby being next door while the monitor is on – I’m really having trouble with no monitor at all. You have NO idea what’s going on for an entire hour!! And for 3 ½ hours the baby has been home alone.

I’ve only mentioned it to a handful of people, but I got mixed reactions….. I’m just wondering what you guys think?? What would you have done?? I know they were just next door, but I would guess this is illegal, and certainly not the intent of the monitor. You would never get there in time if there was a fire, a burglar, kidnapper, the baby was choking, anything like that. Plus, the sound was off, so you couldn’t even hear if she was crying. I don’t have kids yet, so I hardly have the right to judge, and I realize that you’re not watching them every minute and when you’re sleeping things can happen, but I had just find this so wrong on a variety of levels.

 

[Beth76]

I'm a parent and I don't really have a problem with that. Although the sticking around for another hour after the monitor was turned off doesn't seem right. Are you sure that maybe one of them didn't go check on the baby? Now, my baby monitor didn't have to have the sound on. You could turn the sound all the way down and it would light up with any sort of sound. I'm not saying that I would ever do this, but I'm not finding it completely outrageous.

 

[bballmom56]

Wow, all I can say is I never would have done that! You're right - if there is a fire, they wouldn't know until it was too late! We used the audio baby monitor all the time when my kids were napping or at night, but never left the house with it and never left the baby alone in the house.

 

[Minnesota!]

I would never have done this. The farthest I would stray when my son was sleeping was outside...with the monitor. Never into someone's house. No where that I couldn't be at his side within 5 -10 seconds.

 

[poohandwendy]

I'm a parent and I don't really have a problem with that. Although the sticking around for another hour after the monitor was turned off doesn't seem right. Are you sure that maybe one of them didn't go check on the baby? Now, my baby monitor didn't have to have the sound on. You could turn the sound all the way down and it would light up with any sort of sound. I'm not saying that I would ever do this, but I'm not finding it completely outrageous.

Me neither. Not something I would do, but not outrageous. I guess it depends on how far away their house was?

 

[sha_lyn]

When DS was 6 or 7 I would sit on the neighbors front porch or in their livingroom with the baby monitor. However I could see right into our livingroom, his bedroom and our back door from their house. I can't really imagine doing it without having a good view of the home however.

 

[shortbun]

I never would have done it. I've seen parents doing worse things. When our son was little, we'd take turns doing the neighborhood evening party thing. We'd each take an hour. It just was not that important to be at a neighbor's party together.

 

[doxdogy]

I personally would never had done that when DD was younger. Maybe I am just borrowing trouble, but you never know what can happen in the blink of an eye.

 

[dmslush]

Nope, I would have NEVER done that.. and I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut while they did it either!

 

[Serena]

There is no way I could have done that.

 

[PrincessMom2002]

There is absolutely no way I'd have done that. When my kids were babies I would rarely even venture outside if they were napping. If I did it was a quick out and back in. For me, it just seems too risky. But to each his own.

 

[Cantw8]

I really don't see anything terribly wrong with it but I also would have run home from time to time to check on the baby myself . I never would have turned it off, that's the only part of the story that bothers me

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I have never done that, or would even think of doing that.

 

[dementia412]

I see nothing wrong with it (until they stayed with the monitor off)... if they lived next door... I see little difference between a sleeping baby next door with constant video survalience, or a sleeping baby down the hall with no monitor. Leaving it off though while blabbing... and for almost an hour! That's just stupid.
Btw, my first thought when I started reading this was that the people had a babysitter, but still wanted contact because they were paranoid parents.

 

[EthansMom]

No way would I have ever done that!

 

[Luv'sTink]

I would not have done it either.

Couldn't you just see the headlines? "Parents Partying While Baby Dies In Fire!"

Kinda like "Parents Sleeping While Dog Chews Off Babies Toes"

 

[akhenaten]

Wow, all I can say is I never would have done that! You're right - if there is a fire, they wouldn't know until it was too late! We used the audio baby monitor all the time when my kids were napping or at night, but never left the house with it and never left the baby alone in the house.

I'm with you bballmom.........i thnk i only went out in the backyard with a monitor twice..and i have 3 kids...
it's not worth the risk......

 

[got2travel]

Wow, I'm usually on the lenient end of things. My son has been able to head off to a restroom or a ride at Disneyland, on his own since he was about 7. But we go every 2 or 3 months, so he knows the park often better than some cast members.

But I must say, as an infant he would NEVER have been left alone in the house. baby monitor or not. Farthest I ventured was downstairs to the kitchen.

 

[KirstenB]

I don't have a problem with it. Every now and again I'll run next door to drop something off while our 15 mth old is asleep. I haven't left for hours at a time, but wouldn't the monitor pick up anything unusual (ie, burglar, etc). I don't have a monitor.

Guess I just feel very safe in our neighborhood.

 

[KirstenB]

Forgot to add, if I did do this, dh and I would just take turns checking on her every 15 min or so. To me, it's sort of like me cutting the lawn, painting the garage, etc while she's napping.