How do you feed three kids who turn their noses up to EVERYTHING!!

[mjkacmom]

ITA! I cook one meal, trying to keep everyone's preferences in mind and also being mindful of serving a healthy, well-balanced meal. I don't force anyone to eat, but I also don't cook anything separate for anyone else. You're always welcome to make yourself a pb&j sandwich, though, and clean up after it yourself.

Same here - I won't force a child to eat something he doesn't like, but I'm not making special meals. If you only like the salad, eat the salad. I have a couple of very adventurous eaters (dd12 and ds5 feasted on grilled clams this weekend), and some very picky eaters. One of my picky eaters, though is now 10, and likes a lot more foods. I will not give food the opportunity to be a power struggle - either for me, or my kids. I will not make a child go hungry just because he/she doesn't like anything I've made - grab yourself a yogurt!

 

[otisandmaggie]

At our house, we live under the theory that it's a hungry world. If you choose not to eat the food that has been prepared for you, then you can try again at the next meal - but there will be no snacks between here and there. Just like the OP, I grew weary of the complaints and "yucks" from my kids. We sat down and had a discussion about how it would make them feel if, when they gave me a picture or card that they had worked hard to make, I said "this is yucky, I don't like it!" They agreed that it would make them very sad. I told them that the meals I make are my gift to them just like their art is a gift to me. That seemed to make an impact on them and the complaints have lessened. Now I might hear something like "this isn't my favorite dinner, but thank you for making it" which is much easier to bear!!!

We also found that meals that they helped prepare were often more palitable than things just set before them. Ownership seems to go a long way toward making them willing to try (and sometimes even like!) new things.

Finally - I subscribed to a menu service which has really been a hit with my kids. The recipes are VERY simple, but seem to satisfy all of us (probably not company fare, but it gets a meal on the table!!). I don't know if I'm allowed to post a link, but if anyone wants it, just send me a message off-board.

 

[mygirl]

my kids are also pickey. it was driving me mad as they are on the thin side and i hate to see them miss a meal. i was forever slaving over meals only to serve them peanut butter and bananas/apples or cherrios. i am DONE with that!!

soooo... i have just kept cooking a variety of fresh healthy foods. i always try to have one or two sides consisting of a steamed veggie or potato. and we have the "three bites rule". there is no whining/complaining allowed and you must try three bites. if you decide after your three bites that you still are not into my dinner, then you sit quietly and enjoy family dinner time - but you are not forced to eat further. you are NOT excused from the table until the family is done, and breakfast will be served at 7am!

while i must admit that my kids are still pickey, at least they are trying new things - even if it is only three bites. many, many nights they do the three bites and that is it. however, i will say mealtimes are MUCH more relaxing with no whining/complaining and arguing over food.

make a "rule" that works for your family and stick to it - no if's and's or but's. i do not expect my kids to devour and love everything as there are foods that i do not like and do not make, but you have to try it!!

oops, forgot to add that i totally agree with the PP! get em involved and they are much more likely to eat. my kids are 2 and 4 and i try to have them help with every meal when possible. even if it is just putting the greens and veggies (that i have already cut up) into the salad bowl.

 

[Anne34]

ITA! I cook one meal, trying to keep everyone's preferences in mind and also being mindful of serving a healthy, well-balanced meal. I don't force anyone to eat, but I also don't cook anything separate for anyone else. You're always welcome to make yourself a pb&j sandwich, though, and clean up after it yourself.

This is what I do too -- it seems to work well, especially with DD15 who is picky, but still needs fuel for swim team workouts.

 

[mommy2allyandaveri]

my mom used to put my plate with food on it in the fridge if i wouldn't eat. everytime i said i was hungry, she would pull that plate out. eventually i would eat what was on my plate.
QUOTE]

This is what I do as well for dinner. We put it in the fridge and when she says she is hungry before bedtime I tell her I would be happy to heat up her dinner that she didn't eat. I only do it at night though, after she goes to bed I dump it.

I ended up married to a man who's mother made him whatever it was he felt like for every meal, even if it meant she had to cook multiple meals. She has since appologized to me for that. I won't do that for my kids, or my husband for that matter.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

If you don't stick out the whining, they aren't going to try other foods. It is far easier to whine and get what they want.

3 bites, and they were welcome to fix pb&j. If they didn't try the three bites, they were sent from the table. It never killed anyone to go hungry for a meal.

 

[kkmcan]

My kids have come a long ways when it comes to eating. They too wouldn't eat anything but chicken nuggets and mac n cheese so they went to bed hungry many nights. It took years for them to come out of their shells a little and try new things. Now I always try to fix a meal that has something they will eat.

Over the years I have gotten them to eat and like potatoes, rice, noodles (no sauce), carrots, corn on the cob, battered fish, and quesadillas.

They basically won't eat any meat unless it is chicken or hotdogs. I can live with that. I know at least they will eat the side dishes.

Even my girl who doesn't like pizza, will eat it if it doesn't have the sauce. I know, who in their right mind doesn't like pizza?? I guess its not the pizza, it's the sauce.

 

[Caleb's Mom]

Does anyone have such a fussy eater that they will literally throw up over something they dislike? At 4 years old we fed our son spaghetti one night - he didn't like the feel of the noodles in his mouth. Threw up all over the dinner table including in the salad bowl. At 5 years old we had Domino's pizza thin crust version one night (usually order the hand tossed type) and he threw up again! Note, son is now 7 and eats a very, very limited # of foods.

Hubby is a very fussy eater - for years I thought he was just being a baby. But after having our son I'd tell you it's a genetic thing he passed on. Son has always been like this, even as a very young baby before he was old enough to play food games - would literally gag up the peas and rice gerber food at 12 mo. old.

I love most any type of food so this is a never ending, exhausting and messy battle. Help!

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

When my two DDs were little, they were NEVER allowed to "eewww" and "yuck"! That to me was as rude as a direct insult. If it looked like something they wouldn't enjoy, they were to say "No thanks. I don't care for any". Of course, they had to at least try two mouthfuls anyway, then they were excused from eating any more. Of course, they got pretty hungry before breakfast, so they wound up giving some foods a try that did not appeal at first glance.
By the time she was 3, DD#1's favorite foods were shrimp, spinach, and brussell sprouts!

 

[MinnieForMe]

For one day, I would cut out snacks and increase their activity to see if they would be more willing to eat what's in front of them. You'd be surprised what a picky eater will eat after an afternoon at the pool or lake. Luckily, my kids eat most everything. My three year old still has her moments!

 

[bookgirl]

I am a picky eater, and yes I was the kid who threw up if you made me put something I didn't like anywhere near my nose or lips (it's all about sensory) or try a new food before I was ready.

My mom did NOT make seperate dinners. She would try to make sure there was one thing that everyone would eat and then if you didn't like the whole of dinner then fine you ate the one thing you liked.

She also taught us very early to make a pb sandwich and how to pour milk on cereal.

I'm much better now but I still have big issues, however it was never a "family" issue. There were rules and comprimises that everyone could live with.

 

[disneymom3]

Does anyone have such a fussy eater that they will literally throw up over something they dislike? At 4 years old we fed our son spaghetti one night - he didn't like the feel of the noodles in his mouth. Threw up all over the dinner table including in the salad bowl. At 5 years old we had Domino's pizza thin crust version one night (usually order the hand tossed type) and he threw up again! Note, son is now 7 and eats a very, very limited # of foods.

Hubby is a very fussy eater - for years I thought he was just being a baby. But after having our son I'd tell you it's a genetic thing he passed on. Son has always been like this, even as a very young baby before he was old enough to play food games - would literally gag up the peas and rice gerber food at 12 mo. old.

I love most any type of food so this is a never ending, exhausting and messy battle. Help!

Yes. DS has some trouble with sensory integration disorder adn this is something that we have learned too. He can't eat cooked vegies. He will throw up and it is not on purpose. He can eat raw vegies--same ones as the ones he can't eat cooked.

So, while I do not act as a short order cook, I have also learned NOT to make this child try even a bite. I am willing to find something comparable in the whole scheme of nutrition. For instance, tonight we had baked potatoes. Not a texture he can handle so he got a piece of wheat bread with butter instead.

If I am making something that I KNOW my kids dont like, they are also free to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There are times I just really want to make chilli but I know my middle one does not like it, for instance. As an adult I don't want to be limited by what all three of my kids like or don't like, however, I also respect that as long as they have tried something in the past and don't care for it then I offer them another choice.

However, if you whine, you leave the room and I don't care if you are hungry.

 

[disneymom3]

OH I meant to add that yes, DS was like that with baby food too. He basically went from breastmilk to whole foods because he would not eat the mushed up stuff. If my pediatrician hadn't known me well I am sure she would have thought I was insane. What was weird to me was his iron etc was always good.

 

[brymolmom]

Our house is similar to many of the posters here...however, I do NOT offer the 'pb&J or cereal' option or else my dd would ALWAYS take a tiny bite and claim to need her PB&J. I have met too many kids whose parents bring a pb&j EVERYWHERE because the kid won't eat anything else. If we go somewhere and they don't like what is being offered - there's usually some bread or rolls with butter or a side that they'll at least eat.

I make one meal and if they do not like the entree I usually make a veggie or have fruit out that they will eat. If they don't like the main course - they can fill up on carrots, grapes, apple sauce, etc. USUALLY I think I get a few more bites of them due to not having a 'comfort food' waiting in the wings. So that's an idea for anyone trying to shake things up. And, as an aside, I have one very picky eater and one very-not-picky eater. So, our rules haven't seemed to result in one type of eater vs. another.

 

[Pigeon]

Our house is similar to many of the posters here...however, I do NOT offer the 'pb&J or cereal' option or else my dd would ALWAYS take a tiny bite and claim to need her PB&J. I have met too many kids whose parents bring a pb&j EVERYWHERE because the kid won't eat anything else. If we go somewhere and they don't like what is being offered - there's usually some bread or rolls with butter or a side that they'll at least eat.

I agree, and I've seen that the Little-Darling-Will-Only-Eat-PB&J thing is starting to become a real problem for some parents because of more widespread bans on PB due to allergy concerns.

 

[Caleb's Mom]

Thanks for the feedback disneymom3 - good to know I'm not alone. Still frustrating however.

 

[disney1990]

As a picky eater myself, I totally understand not liking something. HOWEVER, my rule is that the kid MUST try to food at least 2 times before deciding they don't like it. After that, I won't force them to eat something they honestly don't like. At the same time, I don't cook a different meal for them either. I don't expect people to do that for me, I just find something in the meal that I do like and eat that. So a kid can do the same thing. I also never made a point of serving things like mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, pizza, etc on a regular basis just for that reason. I make sure to make different foods so that they have no choice but to eat it or go hungry.

There was a study a while back that said a child needs to try a new food at least 7 times before they should be allowed to not eat it. I tried to find the study but couldn't.

While I was on vacation, I saw 2 groups of young adults (18-25) ordering at a restaurant mac & cheese and/or chicken nuggets.

If you child does not learn to eat foods as a child, they certainly are not going to wake up as an adult and decide -- hum, I should eat that.

My daughter insists that our granddaughters try everything, every single time they have it. They are 8 and 10. I am amazing at all the different foods that they ask for and eat. (guacamole, hummus, sushi, yogurt with flax seed)

 

[santa's surpriz]

We have always had a 3 bite rule. I don't where my learned this trick but I use it now too. Take three bites and if you don't want anymore you don't have eat more. Just 3 bites of everything on your plate. I was well into my 30's when I watched my mom do with my nephews...3 bites pretty much cleans the plate. Never realized that growing up!!

 

[C.Ann]

I was raised to eat what was placed in front of me - no whining, no substituting pb&j or cereal.. We were always reminded how lucky we were to have good, healthy, home-cooked meals on the table..

I raised my children the same way.. No one ever gagged, turned their noses up at what was placed in front of them, or went to bed hungry..

I never really thought of handling it any other way.. The parents provide the food, the children eat it..

 

[mjantz]

Does anyone have such a fussy eater that they will literally throw up over something they dislike? At 4 years old we fed our son spaghetti one night - he didn't like the feel of the noodles in his mouth. Threw up all over the dinner table including in the salad bowl. At 5 years old we had Domino's pizza thin crust version one night (usually order the hand tossed type) and he threw up again! Note, son is now 7 and eats a very, very limited # of foods.

Hubby is a very fussy eater - for years I thought he was just being a baby. But after having our son I'd tell you it's a genetic thing he passed on. Son has always been like this, even as a very young baby before he was old enough to play food games - would literally gag up the peas and rice gerber food at 12 mo. old.

I love most any type of food so this is a never ending, exhausting and messy battle. Help!

That'd be me & DS. I can tell you that, as an adult, its very annoying & not something I'm proud of. There are times we go to a restaurant & I'd love to try something new but if my body/taste buds decide they don't like it, I'd end up in a very embarassing situation IMO.
I'm getting better. I've started making myself try 1 new thing every time we go to a buffet (which with a DS who's growing like a weed look better all the time!) & so far its been OK. I've also just decided that there are certain things I will not like. Broccoli & I will probably never get along & that's OK.
My DS has unfortunately taken after me. He is an excellent fruit eater but veggies are a no go. He is getting better. He tried a bit of salad with ranch dressing twice & said it was 'not bad'.

For meals we all have the same meat & starch & then you can choose your own fruit or veggie as a side. I try & get both kids to try new stuff but I don't push them. If they decide they don't like whatever it is after a bite (we have a 'one bite, chew it up & swallow it' rule) they may have extra fruit or veggies.

BTW: If it makes any of you feel better, I have a friend who eats 6 things. That's it, just 6. I know grilled cheese is one of them but there's not a lot of variety. And she's in her late 30s. It makes me feel a bit better to know that my kids eat worlds better than her.