After reading a LOT on here and in the travel guide books, I really strategized for our trip that was in March and we had a wonderful, wonderful trip.
First of all, I knew I didn't want complaints about tired feet, so we did a double stroller from Disney just for the distances inside the parks.... my 8 year old was thankful and so was his 4 year old brother.... plus I didn't end up carrying one! It saved their feet for walking to the buses and around the lands and waiting in lines. Less complaining is the way to go.
Secondly, I knew that my youngest might still be able to nap and if were going to have a late night, he had to get one. So, I did plan everyday to get to the park at rope drop or 15 minutes later... (we were at AoA and it was doable) and then we went back to the hotel by around 2. He napped 2 days which we then went back for late night activities (we napped too)... and if he didn't we had time to bond with pool fun or time in the arcade or walking around the resort...etc. I think by 12, the parks were getting much more crowded and I felt like going back was also saving my sanity.
Thirdly, I planned the mornings to have the FP's for the MUST dos. We would walk in with a somewhat plan. We'd have time to hop on the first thing we saw that had a short time and maybe even a second ride before using our first FP. We went on the things my kids wanted to do a second time in the early morning when the lines were short. Sometimes we didn't use our FP if the line was really short and used it for the second ride. We also used the lines app to check around the park and got on Pirates with a 15 minute wait! My expectation wasn't that we would see everything, but that between my not misses and my kids... we hit all of them and we did. I was realistic.
Because of going back to the hotel everyday, I made lunch reservations for around 1 in the afternoon somewhere. We brought snacks with us and ate breakfast in our room, (used garden grocer to deliver). Lunchtime allowed us to rest for a bit and think if there was one more thing to do before heading out. And with the questionable nap, I didn't want to risk missing a dinner reservation. Although, next time, I might try to find a dinner reservation for a few nights... the food court at AoA, in our opinion wasn't really good and we found that we ate there WAY too much.
Just know your kids and their limits. We just knew that an exhausted group would lead to none of us having fun, so rest and good bedtimes overall were a necessity. And I let go of the need to see everything... made our vacation work so well for all of us. It was the first vacation that we all said was by far the best!