How do you deal with sit down eating alone.

[Karin1984]

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- "Just one?" from a CM is not an insult, or an expression of pity. They need to double check the size of the party.

To come back to this piece of advice for those who have doubts about travelling solo (and me not wanting to open a new thread).

I've just watched a Disney Cruise vlog and a CM asked the couple 'just two'

 

[PocketGddess]

To come back to this piece of advice for those who have doubts about travelling solo (and me not wanting to open a new thread).

I've just watched a Disney Cruise vlog and a CM asked the couple 'just two'

Thank you for posting this. I'm still mourning the fact that I'll never be able to experience the Galactic Starcruiser, the Star Wars hotel, because they don't take single bookings. There must be at least two people in a room/party, which simply isn't an option for me unless I meet a kind internet stranger who doesn't mind sharing a room. IOW I live alone, most of my friends are poor (me too but I'm willing to give up a lot to save up and make the trip!), and the one friend who would play along with me and go for my sake has cancer and isn't able to travel.

I got back from DW and I was both surprised and thankful by how much of a non-issue the single diner thing was. My advice to the other solo travelers out there is just to go for it! I didn't experience any sort of discrimination or poor treatment just because I was dining alone, quite the opposite. When I wanted extra attention I got it, in the form of several cast members stopping by for a brief chat, especially when they learned it was a birthday trip for me. The one time I didn't want it, because I was just so darned TIRED at the end of a long day, they graciously served me and left me in peace. It was glorious and I'm already planning to go back to WDW or DL as soon as I can save up enough to afford the trip again.

 

[goofyernmost]

So many people seem to get all gnarled up over the question "just one" or even "just two" as some sort of put down when it is actually just a verification of the number in your party. They see one or two and ask so they are sure that there are no others in your party. It is a simple question and I have always wondered what about that simple question can possible be seen in anyway other then a simple question of verifying a number. Is it more of a case of "I wouldn't be so paranoid if everyone wasn't out to get me" type thing?

 

[ajiuo]

Wow! I started this thread a while ago and kind of lost track of it after a while. Thank you for all the thoughts on the subject. I’m sure it will just take some getting use to and I’ll be fine after a while. I did end up getting a DVC contract for AKV. My first trip is in early May (I hope that is not to bad of a time to go). As I said I will have someone on this first trip with me though.

Now that I got a house and am almost done remodeling. I might start focusing my attention on dating, so maybe I’ll find the right person by 2023 and won’t have to go alone after all. Haha. But if I do, I’m starting to feel like it might not be so bad… thanks.

 

[Lilsia]

So many people seem to get all gnarled up over the question "just one" or even "just two" as some sort of put down when it is actually just a verification of the number in your party. They see one or two and ask so they are sure that there are no others in your party. It is a simple question and I have always wondered what about that simple question can possible be seen in anyway other then a simple question of verifying a number. Is it more of a case of "I wouldn't be so paranoid if everyone wasn't out to get me" type thing?

I think this falls under the new fad of always looking to be offended. Half of the things that people take offense to now is a head scratcher. I can't live my life always getting worked up about what others are saying. There are true offenses, like someone slandering you or lying to you, and there is just phrasing, like this is. I can't imagine doing my job and having a small percentage complain that they thought that I was rude because they have a hang up about some phrasing.

 

[Marrila]

I put a small book in my bag when I know I will be dining alone. I don't always use it, but it's nice to have an option.

 

[Karin1984]

I think this falls under the new fad of always looking to be offended. Half of the things that people take offense to now is a head scratcher. I can't live my life always getting worked up about what others are saying. There are true offenses, like someone slandering you or lying to you, and there is just phrasing, like this is. I can't imagine doing my job and having a small percentage complain that they thought that I was rude because they have a hang up about some phrasing.

I don't think people mistake it for an insult but pity. I am currently watching cruise vlogs, and was watching Adam Hattan's Disney Cruise on the Fantasy. He was not in the best head space to travel solo in this series. He addresses the 'just one', he wasnt insuline. It made him feel sad and lonely. The word 'just' emphasizes that, even when that is not the intend and it is only to verify how many seats are needed. It is an unavoidable side effect. Same when you would say 'one person'.

 

[CBMom01]

I've traveled alone a lot, sometimes when single. Then when married. Then when divorced. And now when engaged again. I was always comfortable exploring on my own, and sometimes I even preferred it. I also live and work in a big city, so eating in a restaurant on my own is something I'm very used to.

But a strange thing happened in the first year or so after my divorce: I suddenly felt self-conscious going out on my own. It was really unsettling cause I had never thought twice about it. It was that *I* knew I was divorced. No one else in the restaurant knew or give a ****. It made me realize that not only does no one care that I'm alone (or why) they don't know why I'm alone (or why). The servers and other patrons don't know if I'm single, married, waiting for someone, having a secret rendezvous, whatever.

I've never done a solo WDW trip, but my last trip was with other adults and I had a couple of evenings on my own. It was the first time in years that self-consciousness came back and I realized again that the issue was my state of mind.

The servers certainly know that people dine solo by choice for lots of reasons. Maybe you're a Disney exec there for work and don't want to eat with coworkers. They don't know

If you're uncomfortable, give yourself permission to do whatever you need to get comfortable and happy with the experience.

Edited to add: Fake wedding/engagement rings are cheap and are a tool some people use to give a visual "I'm here by choice" cue

 

[kwdw]

Thank you for posting this. I'm still mourning the fact that I'll never be able to experience the Galactic Starcruiser, the Star Wars hotel, because they don't take single bookings. There must be at least two people in a room/party, which simply isn't an option for me unless I meet a kind internet stranger who doesn't mind sharing a room. IOW I live alone, most of my friends are poor (me too but I'm willing to give up a lot to save up and make the trip!), and the one friend who would play along with me and go for my sake has cancer and isn't able to travel.

You can book Starcruiser as a solo, you just have to pay the price of two. I’m sure they want to discourage solo trips to keep the place full so it feels like an experience. And I’m sure they don’t want to deal with a reduced cost for a solo given that they won’t need to. But, technically, you can book solo.

 

[Lilsia]

I don't think people mistake it for an insult but pity. I am currently watching cruise vlogs, and was watching Adam Hattan's Disney Cruise on the Fantasy. He was not in the best head space to travel solo in this series. He addresses the 'just one', he wasnt insuline. It made him feel sad and lonely. The word 'just' emphasizes that, even when that is not the intend and it is only to verify how many seats are needed. It is an unavoidable side effect. Same when you would say 'one person'.

It's still up to you to decide how to react to what people say. Because it seems as if some people expect others to somehow know that their phrasing is going to either insult them or hurt their feelings. How in the world are others supposed to know what is in your head? If someone acted as if they pitied me on my solo trips, I would laugh and point to the nearest kid having a temper tantrum and say, "yeah, poor me".

 

[Karin1984]

It's still up to you to decide how to react to what people say. Because it seems as if some people expect others to somehow know that their phrasing is going to either insult them or hurt their feelings. How in the world are others supposed to know what is in your head? If someone acted as if they pitied me on my solo trips, I would laugh and point to the nearest kid having a temper tantrum and say, "yeah, poor me".

That's good for you, and it's great that nothing in the world can bother you.
Only not everyone is like that.

I agree with you that you cannot make a one size fits all, but it never hurts to think what you are exactly saying and if there is a better way of saying it. If there's not, then that's it. It does go two ways. But if there is, why not.
Same way with some airlines replacing the 'good afternoon ladies and gentlemen', with 'dear passengers'.

 

[Lilsia]

That's good for you, and it's great that nothing in the world can bother you.
Only not everyone is like that.

I agree with you that you cannot make a one size fits all, but it never hurts to think what you are exactly saying and if there is a better way of saying it. If there's not, then that's it. It does go two ways. But if there is, why not.
Same way with some airlines replacing the 'good afternoon ladies and gentlemen', with 'dear passengers'.

My point is, how can any person expect others to just know what is going to make you feel bad and change their phrasing, just for you? You go to far expecting everyone to cater to your insecurities. No one is saying to be mean to anyone, but to expect the whole world to talk how you want them to is ludicrous. Other people are not responsible for your emotions.

 

[Karin1984]

My point is, how can any person expect others to just know what is going to make you feel bad and change their phrasing, just for you? You go to far expecting everyone to cater to your insecurities. No one is saying to be mean to anyone, but to expect the whole world to talk how you want them to is ludicrous. Other people are not responsible for your emotions.

By talking and listening to people? Not necessarily one on one, but on a corporate level. Disney probably has several trainings on how to handle guests. How to handle solo travellers should be one guest profile they have on file.
You will never reach everyone, but that's no reason not to make an effort for inclusiveness.

And as I said it is a two way. People can also look at themselves why certain words effect them.

 

[Lilsia]

By talking and listening to people? Not necessarily one on one, but on a corporate level. Disney probably has several trainings on how to handle guests. How to handle solo travellers should be one guest profile they have on file.
You will never reach everyone, but that's no reason not to make an effort for inclusiveness.

And as I said it is a two way. People can also look at themselves why certain words effect them.

This has nothing to do with inclusiveness at all. A solo traveler is not being precluded from anything when someone asks them "just one." They are getting a number count and not "judging" you. It's no different then if someone asks you how many cars that you own and you say "just one". As someone who has worked in the public for over 30 years, I can tell you that we don't give a fig about how many are in the group, nor do we "judge" you for being solo. We just need the information and that's it. It has nothing at all to do with being "inclusive". You are completely using this term in the wrong context. And there is no way that cast members are going to look at every guest's profile to see how they want terminology they prefer to be used. That is just beyond unrealistic.

 

[CBMom01]

It may be that the CM would say the same thing for two as for one. "Just the two of you this evening?" isn't uncommon to hear.

It may also be that people hear the word "just" when it's not there. No kidding. A CM could say "Party of one?" or "Table for 1" and the person hears "Just one??"

 

[mam693]

For whatever it’s worth, this past June I did my second ever solo trip. I did multiple table service meals this time, alone, and it didn’t feel any different than when I was dining with other people. So I say dine wherever you want. No one is going to judge you. Bring a book or something to read on your phone, or just spend the time taking in your surroundings and most importantly, enjoy your meal!

 

[BrianL]

Thank you for posting this. I'm still mourning the fact that I'll never be able to experience the Galactic Starcruiser, the Star Wars hotel, because they don't take single bookings. There must be at least two people in a room/party, which simply isn't an option for me unless I meet a kind internet stranger who doesn't mind sharing a room. IOW I live alone, most of my friends are poor (me too but I'm willing to give up a lot to save up and make the trip!), and the one friend who would play along with me and go for my sake has cancer and isn't able to travel.

Hey, hang out here on the Dis and you can meet people and such. Also, I know for cruises there are cruise groups that arrange for meet ups and to share bookings, though personally I'd want to know someone at least a little bit, even if just online. DISers are a good group though so stick around and maybe you can work it out. Best wishes.

 

[Sir William]

Agree with all the comments and coping strategies here. The wait staff at WDW is amazing with solo diners, and will do their best to make you comfortable.

Just want to add one little strange thing that happened to me while dining solo at Tiffins in the AK. It involved having to visit the restroom between the entree and dessert. General etiquette tells you to leave your napkin on your seat to indicate that you will be returning, but I hate doing that! I really don’t want my napkin resting on a surface where who-knows-how-many-backsides, which have been sitting who-knows-where, have also rested. In a theme park that is just yucky. So I left my napkin, along with my hat, sitting on the tabletop next to my place setting - thinking that would make it obvious that I hadn’t left the restaurant.

Well, in the three minutes I was gone, a couple at a nearby table assumed that I had indeed left and told the server so. So my hat was taken to the host stand. Thankfuly when I returned, they had the good grace to tell me what they had done and apologize! I was a bit mortified that a.) someone had thought I’d dined-and-dashed, and b.) my hat was in bad shape due to it being very hot that day and it had sweat and makeup on the inside brim. I was more embarrassed by the state of my hat than by their mistake. So I sheepishly retrieved the hat, my server acted as if nothing had happened, and I enjoyed my dessert, lol!

I guess the moral of that story is that it might be smart to carry a little card or sign to leave at your table if you have to get up for any reason. Apparently people can forget that solo diners need to use the restroom too, lol.

I had that happen once so now I ask MY server where the restroom is, even if its obvious or I already know, or just letting them know I'm temporarily absent from the table. I also try to leave something to show I may not have actually left - a book with reading glasses on top is a favorite as my server will have seen me reading while waiting and/or eating.

 

[CBMom01]

I had that happen once so now I ask MY server where the restroom is, even if its obvious or I already know, or just letting them know I'm temporarily absent from the table. I also try to leave something to show I may not have actually left - a book with reading glasses on top is a favorite as my server will have seen me reading while waiting and/or eating.

You could also politely ask the table next to let the server know you’re just going to the restroom.
But I’ve never had a table cleared while I was in the restroom while dining alone. The servers are way more aware of what’s going on than it might seem

 

[Sir William]

I've never had a negative experience dining solo at WDW. In fact, I usually get extra attention from the CM. My favorite experience was at the Rose & Crown a few years ago during the Star Wars Weekend. It was pouring rain and I stopped by to see if I could get in without a reservation. No issues - a few minutes later I was seated in front of the fireplace at a table for one (there wasn't really room for another person). As I've lived and traveled in the UK, I like to find out where the CMs come from and in this particular instance my server lived only a few miles from where I'd once lived. Other CMs came by to introduce themselves and make sure I was doing OK. Between their visits I enjoyed reading my book, which I always have with me whenever I'm out of the house. Final highlight was seeing Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) sitting two tables over. As luck would have it, I was reading a SW novel with Chewbacca on the cover which he noticed and gave me a thumbs up.

My only "negative" experience was at the Biergarten. I have also lived in Germany and Austria, so enjoy the food. As a single, I was seated with two other families - one of 3 and the other of 4. The family of 4 only spoke Spanish and clearly didn't like the food or the ambiance, so quickly ate and left. The family of 3 kept to themselves, barely saying a word as they also quickly ate and left. The CM apologized to me for being abandoned by my tablemates, but I was OK as I enjoyed the food, the beer, and the singing - once the CM gathered around me as we all sang one of the songs together.

If I'm dining QS, I often invite others looking for a table to join me, especially if I'm nearly finished.