How do you deal with a text-a-holic?

[FayeW]

I agree--I tend not to answer if someone calls me and I will text them a bit later seeing what they wanted.

I'd be pretty tempted to respond with "I wanted to #$&&!@% talk to you. Never mind."

 

[shortbun]

I'd be pretty tempted to respond with "I wanted to #$&&!@% talk to you. Never mind."

Years ago I was talking to a social worker and people who 'never answer their phones' came up. I was frustrated by a family member who never did. That wise social worker told me to speak to their recorder just like I would have spoken to them. And, IF they called back not having listened to the message, tell them to listen to it and call me if it was necessary. i did that and from then on, they answered my calls.

 

[HM]

It would be a big problem for me, as I'm on a pay-as-you-go phone. It would cost me a bundle to have someone text me with minutia. Sorry you have to deal with that OP. I think you did right by calling and asking them not to text, and they should have respected that request without giving you a hard time.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Since you do not want to text or receive texts, I would block all texts from your phone.

Seems like an easy solution to me.

This was my solution as well. A few years ago I had a friend who'd just gotten into texting and was costing me .15 every time she sent a message to my cell phone. After asking her several times to knock it off, I finally had to block her number AND have the company turn off all incoming texts on my cell phone.

I love texting. I think it is one of the best inventions of modern times, right after the cell phone. I find that the only people that really don't like texting just aren't good at it and can't stand not to be good at something. It's amazing how their viewpoint changes with a Qwerty keyboard. Texting is less intrusive, more convenient and like others have said, less expensive. With the number of text messages kids send, I am surprised that cell phone companies make money on texting plans . I could drop phone coverage altogether and just have texting.

That may be your experience, however I assure you that should the desire to speak with my thumbs ever becomes attractive to me, I'll master that skill just like I've mastered every other communication skill that's come along.

I write for a living. As far as I'm concerned, texting has done more to *******ize correct sentence structure, spelling and vocabulary than the new reading programs of the 70's and 80's ever did. If someone really needs to speak to me, they can call me, email me or see me in person. If the only way I can communicate with them is via texting per their preference, then they are probably someone I really don't need to be wasting time communicating with in the first place.

 

[Mermaid02]

If someone texts me they can expect me to call them back. I don't have texting on my plan nor do I want it.

 

[Ceila]

I love texting. I find that the only people that really don't like texting just aren't good at it and can't stand not to be good at something.

Wow.

I love texting, and I know which of my family and friends are into it and which ones aren't. I don't text those who don't care to communicate that way. But I sure as heck don't think that they dislike texting because they "can't stand not to be good at something."

 

[bicker]

I agree that that appraisal was overly harsh, but some of the appraisals in the opposite direction - appraisals of folks who prefer TXTing - have been equally harsh, or worse. Perhaps the problem is trying to judge others by our own preferences. We aren't all alike. While it would be great if there was common ground - a means of communication that everyone preferred - but there isn't, and won't be.

So people need to learn to accept that other people will be different from them. They need to grant those other people inherent dignity and respect rather than judging them negatively because they subscribe to different preferences - whether they are clinging to the past or living on the bleeding-edge of the future.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Some of the assumptions on this thread are over the top. I really don't like texting. It has nothing to do with whether or not I am good at it. Actually, except for my family, I don't really like using my cell phone in general. I prefer face to face conversations. I absolutely can text when I want to or need to, it is just not my preferred method of communication. And how is texting really any less instrusive than a phone call? You either answer right away or you don't, just like a phone call.

In the end, we all have different ways we like to communicate and passing judgment on somebody just because their way is not yours is kind of silly.

 

[bicker]

And how is texting really any less instrusive than a phone call? You either answer right away or you don't, just like a phone call.

Not true. If you don't answer a phone call, it goes to voicemail, a complete change in format for the conversation, from synchronous to asynchronous. TXTing is a single format, always asynchronous.

In the end, we all have different ways we like to communicate and passing judgment on somebody just because their way is not yours is kind of silly.

As indicated above, I totally agree. And it works both ways.

Y'know what's interesting... some of the folks at church bad-mouth the idea of having any kind of discussions with people on online forums, like the DIS. Everyone's a critic.

 

[Carly_Roach]

In the end, we all have different ways we like to communicate and passing judgment on somebody just because their way is not yours is kind of silly.

You're right - I do judge people based on their method of communication. However, I stand by my initial judgment that if there are people in my life who will only communicate via texting, a method that I will not participate in for as long as I can hold out, then there's really no reason for us to be in communication at all. Further, I won't miss communicating with that person because (obviously) we haven't been communicating.

It's not their loss and it's not my loss. Not unless there's something each wants from the other person.

Personally, I feel that if there is something I want from that person, then it's more civilized to go see them personally or speak to them directly rather than relying on a text message that they can choose to ignore. The same goes back to me. If there's something someone wants from me, it's more civilized for them to come see me personally or call me on the phone rather than send an abbreviated message full of text-speak that I may not understand anyway and will probably ignore.

 

[Mermaid02]

I'd like to add that the reason I do not have texting on my phone is I have bad arthritis in my thumbs- at times the keyboard bothers, but the angle and action of texting can be really painful. So no, I am not good at texting. I'm going to go cry in the corner now.

 

[MushyMushy]

You're right - I do judge people based on their method of communication. However, I stand by my initial judgment that if there are people in my life who will only communicate via texting, a method that I will not participate in for as long as I can hold out, then there's really no reason for us to be in communication at all. Further, I won't miss communicating with that person because (obviously) we haven't been communicating.

It's not their loss and it's not my loss. Not unless there's something each wants from the other person.

Personally, I feel that if there is something I want from that person, then it's more civilized to go see them personally or speak to them directly rather than relying on a text message that they can choose to ignore. The same goes back to me. If there's something someone wants from me, it's more civilized for them to come see me personally or call me on the phone rather than send an abbreviated message full of text-speak that I may not understand anyway and will probably ignore.

I do have one friend that prefers talking on the phone over texting and we've found a decent middle ground. I typically don't initiate any phone calls with her, and she never initiates texts, but we both respond to the other. I won't bother her with a long text conversation, and she doesn't call me too often to chat. But when we do get together, it's like we're never apart.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I'd like to add that the reason I do not have texting on my phone is I have bad arthritis in my thumbs- at times the keyboard bothers, but the angle and action of texting can be really painful. So no, I am not good at texting. I'm going to go cry in the corner now.

You know what? You just made me wonder if this might be one of the reasons why older people don't like to text as much. They can't see the tiny screen, the buttons are too small and it may actually be painful for them to use a keypad.

My father hates using a cell phone. Not because he can't hear or anything but he has trouble finding the tiny green button to send a call or to answer it in time. We adjusted the phone so it would pick up when opened, but he never makes a call from it because the buttons are too dang small.

It makes wonder if today's generation isn't going to find themselves in their 40's with bad eyesight from the tiny text screens, hearing aids because their car stereos and iPods were too damn loud, and carpal tunnel in their thumbs from all the texting. We may be seeing a reverse evolution where humans have lost the use of opposable thumbs because of generations of texting behaviors.

 

[Disney Doll]

This cannot be overstated: The doorbell and the telephone were designed as horrible communications mechanisms IMHO, essentially giving the caller remote control over the person being called. Communication should work the other way: The person who wants to communicate should queue their desire up, along with the other things that the personal being called may already be doing. Beckoning someone to serve your need to talk, by ringing an annoying bell, insisting on immediate satisfaction, would be considered just-plain-rude under other circumstances.

TXTing allows the person who wants to communicate to submit their comment for inclusion with the things that the person they're trying to communicate with is currently doing. Then that person can get to that message as soon as they're able, in full consideration of the relative priority of all the things that they're doing. That's far superior.

And I'll often TXT: "Hey, L, I need to chat with you about Requirement XYZ123. Is this a good time to talk?" And then I wait, first until L can get to my inquiry, and then until she says it is a good time, and then we call each other (voice), if necessary, to discuss the requirement.

I think the advantages of TXTing are generally undersold, which was puzzling to me, until I thought about it a bit more. TXTing is really the favored mechanism of younger folks; if TXTing becomes truly mainstream, then the value of TXTing as a rebellious measure would plummet for teens!

My phones, both landline and cell, have caller ID and voicemail, so I do not feel the need to answer them when they ring unless it is convenient for me to do so or it is one of my elderly parents.

I don't really see the logic in texting someone to ask if you can call, but I am glad it works for you in your professional arena.

 

[golfgal]

Wow.

I love texting, and I know which of my family and friends are into it and which ones aren't. I don't text those who don't care to communicate that way. But I sure as heck don't think that they dislike texting because they "can't stand not to be good at something."

I agree that that appraisal was overly harsh, but some of the appraisals in the opposite direction - appraisals of folks who prefer TXTing - have been equally harsh, or worse. Perhaps the problem is trying to judge others by our own preferences. We aren't all alike. While it would be great if there was common ground - a means of communication that everyone preferred - but there isn't, and won't be.

So people need to learn to accept that other people will be different from them. They need to grant those other people inherent dignity and respect rather than judging them negatively because they subscribe to different preferences - whether they are clinging to the past or living on the bleeding-edge of the future.

Not harsh at all when it is my PERSONAL experience with people that refuse to try texting. It isn't difficult, they just refuse to try because they don't understand how it works, nothing more, nothing less.

 

[Mermaid02]

You know what? You just made me wonder if this might be one of the reasons why older people don't like to text as much. They can't see the tiny screen, the buttons are too small and it may actually be painful for them to use a keypad.

My father hates using a cell phone. Not because he can't hear or anything but he has trouble finding the tiny green button to send a call or to answer it in time. We adjusted the phone so it would pick up when opened, but he never makes a call from it because the buttons are too dang small.

It makes wonder if today's generation isn't going to find themselves in their 40's with bad eyesight from the tiny text screens, hearing aids because their car stereos and iPods were too damn loud, and carpal tunnel in their thumbs from all the texting. We may be seeing a reverse evolution where humans have lost the use of opposable thumbs because of generations of texting behaviors.

Could be. I'm only 43 but my osteoarthritis is really rearing it's ugly head. I purposely bought my phone not only for the pretty color, but for the big buttons. But holding it too long or trying to text, is painful.

 

[bicker]

Not harsh at all when it is my PERSONAL experience with people that refuse to try texting.

Let me phrase it another way: Do you think they're obligated to try TXTing? Do they have the option to decide to just stick with voice phone calls, as a matter of preference, just like we have the option to prefer TXTing for most thing, without it indicating anything about their capabilities?

 

[golfgal]

Let me phrase it another way: Do you think they're obligated to try TXTing? Do they have the option to decide to just stick with voice phone calls, as a matter of preference, just like we have the option to prefer TXTing for most thing, without it indicating anything about their capabilities?

I don't have a problem with people that don't want to text but don't snap at people that DO. To me it is like people with the Harry Potter books-many people were discounting the books, talking about how they were full of evil, etc. having never read the books. Texting is the same way-especially on these boards-people going on and on about how bad texting is, having never really used it. The op, for example, has a "text-a-holic" that is sending all this junk? What junk? Why is it such and inconvenience to get a text but getting a phone call isn't? I find that most people complain about things they haven't really tried or haven't really given a fair shake using because I have yet to run into ANYONE that has really used texting to an good extent that doesn't see the benefits.

For me, texting is a Godsend because if you call me, I won't understand what you are saying anyway so don't waste your time . unless, of course you have the time for me to say, sorry, can you say that again about 100 times.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Not harsh at all when it is my PERSONAL experience with people that refuse to try texting. It isn't difficult, they just refuse to try because they don't understand how it works, nothing more, nothing less.

That's your personal experience with the circle of people you travel in. And it's absolutely perfectly valid for your judgment of those people. I'll agree that there's nothing worse than people who refuse to try something new.

But my personal experience with texters is similar to my personal experience with people who are on their cell phones and blue tooth's all the time. They'll interrupt everything they're doing to see what's new on their personal device - a habit I find rude at best (dinner table anyone?), insulting at worst (when we're already deep in a conversation and you answer your cell phone) and dangerous at times (driving. 'nuff said).

That's my judgment based on the circle of people I travel in. Which is also absolutely, perfectly valid.

 

[bicker]

I don't have a problem with people that don't want to text but don't snap at people that DO.

I agree. I said before that anyone criticizing either preference doesn't have a leg to stand on.

To me it is like people with the Harry Potter books-many people were discounting the books, talking about how they were full of evil, etc. having never read the books. Texting is the same way-especially on these boards-people going on and on about how bad texting is, having never really used it.

Gal, that sort of thing happens on these boards every day, probably a dozen times a day minimum. A substantial portion of all threads on this Board are cases of someone judging something that they have no legitimate standing to judge, vacuously imposing their own personal beliefs and values on others, and expecting compliance, even though those other people subscribe to different beliefs and values.