How do you and your SO manage finances?

[bekkiz]

My DH and I have been married about 2.5 years, and lived together for about 5. So far we have worked out a system for finances that has worked pretty well for us. Although we have kept our individual income in separate accounts, we contribute to household expenses in proportion to our income. For example, DH makes a lot more money, so he pays rent and many of the bills (garbage, water, phone) as well as his car payment/insurance etc. I pay for groceries, cable, my cell phone, my car etc.

And as I said before, this works really well for us, and we have NO arguments about money, ever. (cleaning is another issue ) However, he and I have been talking about whether we want to change how we do things as our house purchase moves forward.

I worry because, the whole point of us moving is for me to be a stay at home mom eventually, and our way of handling finances will only work if I have a somewhat steady income. He and I have been asking other couples how they handle things to see if there is a "better" way to do things. Any suggestions?

 

[4cruisin]

How about just pooling your money, paying all the bills and putting a little bit in the savings every week? DH and I have been doing that for over 20 years and so far, so good. We both work and it's not my money or my car or my truck...we are in this for the long haul regardless of how much money we make. Neither one of us makes any huge purchase (above $200) without talking it over with the other person. Well, sometimes my clothes budget goes a little crazy.

Works for us.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Sorry, I don't have any advice. We've had joint accounts since we got married.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

Dh and I have also had joint accounts since we got married. Our viewpoint is that it is "our" money, not "mine" or "yours". We put all of our money into that account, and pay all of our bills from it. This is what works for us.

However, our very good friends do what you do...they each have their own accounts, as well as one joint account for bills. It is a system that works very well for them.

Good luck finding what will work best for you!!

 

[jennyl772003]

We pool ALL of our money together. If I want to make a purchase, I ask my DH if we have the money in the account, then I shop.

Of course all bills are first priority. Neither one of us are big spenders, and we are both smart with our money.

My parents have always done it the other way. They put in together for bills, and what ever is left, they keep.

 

[NMAmy]

All our money goes into joint accounts and I take care of paying all the bills. We've never had an argument over money. DH is perfectly content for me to take care of it all and it makes me feel better because my ex just squandered money--I'm a saver. We live well within our means and neither of us are much for impulse purchases--large or small.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Okay I see what you are saying. My dh and I are doing the same thing, sort of.

First, I would say at some point you might want a joint account. There isn't anything wrong with keeping your own accounts also for your own spending money.

Second, I would reccommend for the next 6 months at least or until you absoultely can, start living off his income entirely. If you are planning to be a STAHM then you both need to prepare for the one income family. While you are working, start putting as much of your salary that you can into a savings account. Keep going and cutting down bills until you can put your entire paycheck into the savings account. I would do this until you have been in your house for 6 months so you get into a budget and routine.

Make sure you know where all your money is going and that you have your emergency account saved up as well as a regular account(if you do things that way) Also don't buy too much house, many people make that mistake especially first off.

Good luck and hope everything works out

 

[ducklite]

DH and I have three joint checking accounts between us. One is "His", one is "mine" and one is fairly unused but worth keeping open for unrelated reasons.

Both our checks go into "Mine" and I transfer $200-400 each month into his, depending on his needs and the cash flow. If his builds up he'll move some to his "rainy day" savings account.

I pay all the bills other than things like his co-pays for dr. appointments and his association memberships (alumni club, Toastmasters, etc.), but we put as much as possible on a rewards based credit card and I pay it off every month.

We've tried a lot of different things, but this seems to work best, we've been doing it this way for about ten years now.

Anne

 

[zurgswife]

Married 16 yrs and we have always pooled our money.

 

[CapeCodTenor]

My wife and I agreed that since I have the steady job (she’s self-employed) my paychecks will go into a ‘house account’ to pay all the household bills as well as my bills, credit cards, student loan, cell phone etc. I get $200 per paycheck to spend on me. Now as for her bills, she pays that out of the money she gets from her harp gigs, she’s a freelance harpist.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Our money is pooled.

 

[John VN]

33 years married this June.

Since the beginning, the money DW makes is her money, the money I make is her money. DW can buy anything she wants without asking and I ask her if I can buy something. She has never said no.

Any change I have after buying something I put in a bag and when she pools her change to spend at Disney, I give her my change so she has more to spend.

See no reason to do any different because of our love for each other and what we have is really ours.

 

[ceiligh1]

THis is what we do. Our paychecks, when I was working, always went into our joint checking acct. From that my DH pays all the bills and lets me know how we are doing with our budget. (For instance we have 150 left on eating out this month ect.) We have three items in our budget for savings, one joint and one to each of our personal savings accts. We kept our personal acct from before we were married so we use these. The idea is that if we want to buy something for example a new computer, we ask the other if we can buy it on the house savings acct. If the other person does not think we need to buy the item or that it is too expensive for the budget then the person who wants it can choose to buy it out of their personal fund. THis works for us. It allows us to not feel that we need to ask the other person all the time about purchases. It also allows me to induldge my pottery addiction without having to explain to my DH why I need yet another bowl. We have also used our personal funds to buy joint purchases such as a new media center computer that wasnt in the budget but we both wanted to buy. It is a little complicated but it works for us.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to family finances. I also think that pooling or not pooling you money has nothing to do with love or commitment to the marriage or relationship.

 

[Mercy]

We have two checking accounts, his paycheck is deposited in one and mine in the other. But, my DH pays all the bills out of either account according to the bill.

I believe in the what's mine is yours/what's yours is mine theory. We are married and are one in that union... and so is our money.

I used to be the one who paid the bills, but I didn't do that great of a job, so DH took it over....THANK YOU!!! I hated having that responsibility. He does a great job with the bills.

 

[FreshTressa]

I'm a SAHM and we do the same thing as when I was working.

All the money goes into one account and we just both spend out of it as we need to.

I almost never carry cash, but I have a visa card that I use for almost all purchases and when he pays the bills, he just pays that off too. If I need cash I ask him for it and I have a bank card if I ever need to do something secret like a surprise.

 

[punkin]

33 years married this June.

Since the beginning, the money DW makes is her money, the money I make is her money. DW can buy anything she wants without asking and I ask her if I can buy something. She has never said no.

Any change I have after buying something I put in a bag and when she pools her change to spend at Disney, I give her my change so she has more to spend.

See no reason to do any different because of our love for each other and what we have is really ours.

You are a good husband. I have one at home just like you and he is just wonderful.

 

[SC Minnie]

We have 2 accounts. DH uses the joint account and I have an account on my own.

The joint account is our household account. My paycheck gets deposited in my account and then I transfer X amount to the joint account every month. All household bills are paid out of the joint account. I use my account for trips to the grocery store, Target, etc.

DH doesn't like 2 people using the same account. He knows I would forget to tell him I took out $ or write down when I wrote a check. But since the household is the joint acct I do have access to that money if I need it.

We have been married almost 14 years and it works for us. We both make the same amount of money so we need both to make everything work.

 

[gris gris]

33 years married this June.

Since the beginning, the money DW makes is her money, the money I make is her money. DW can buy anything she wants without asking and I ask her if I can buy something. She has never said no.

Any change I have after buying something I put in a bag and when she pools her change to spend at Disney, I give her my change so she has more to spend.

See no reason to do any different because of our love for each other and what we have is really ours.

This inspires me!! DH & I do this same thing.....we've been married for 7 years. So maybe we have some more years in us!! DH gets some money each week from his paycheck but all the rest goes into our combined account. My entire paycheck goes to the combined account. I pay the bills, our budget works out well and we have no money arugements. Sometimes it seems weird that he asks me to buy something, but on the other hand it helps us stay on budget. I don't ask him when I need to buy something, because I do all of the household shopping.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I'm a SAHM and we do the same thing as when I was working.

All the money goes into one account and we just both spend out of it as we need to.

I almost never carry cash, but I have a visa card that I use for almost all purchases and when he pays the bills, he just pays that off too. If I need cash I ask him for it and I have a bank card if I ever need to do something secret like a surprise.

This is pretty much us, too. We charge almost everything. We keep only one check "register" (Quicken) at home, so we don't have trouble with knowing when the other writes a check or makes an ATM withdrawal.

We don't have money arguments either, but I think that has more to do with the fact that we agree on how we spend money, rather than how we keep our accounts.

 

[bevtoy]

This inspires me!! DH & I do this same thing.....we've been married for 7 years. So maybe we have some more years in us!! DH gets some money each week from his paycheck but all the rest goes into our combined account. My entire paycheck goes to the combined account. I pay the bills, our budget works out well and we have no money arugements. Sometimes it seems weird that he asks me to buy something, but on the other hand it helps us stay on budget. I don't ask him when I need to buy something, because I do all of the household shopping.

We are coming up on 24 years and we do the same thing as you. I do the budget/bill paying/shopping. He hates to do these things.