How do I handle this comment? Wedding related..

[Mellie2162]

Actually if it were me I would say shut the heck up and mind your own beeswax..but the other posters are probably right and it would probably be best to just ignore the buttheads. I never let people get me down about things I choose for myself. As long as Im not hurting them then it's none of their concern.

 

[babyrich]

My sister wore white on her second wedding day and she was pregnant. I lived with my husband for 2 years before we got married. I wore white.

Tell them you heard what they have said and are choosing to ignore their advice. Obviously these people are not really your friends or they would not keep bringing it up.

People may not agree; but times are a changing.

 

[luvmy3]

Long gone are the days where wearing white to your wedding meant that you were pure (and honestly do we really believe that all brides who wore white back then were ). White is the traditional color of the bride's dress, you can choose to go with tradition or you can choose to be different. It doesn't make one bit of difference if you have been living with your fiance, its all about what style and color of dress you want to be married in. Tell your friends to keep their comments to themselves

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Well, this only works if they're unmarried but:

"Thanks for your opinion. I'll remember it when you get married."

Say it with a smile. They've implied you're a hussy, the only correct response is to imply the same back.

 

[minniecarousel]

Well, OP, I hope you've seen that your friends(?) are nutso, so don't let it bother you. You've been given good advice.

Enjoy your wedding day!!

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

Well, this only works if they're unmarried but:

"Thanks for your opinion. I'll remember it when you get married."

Say it with a smile. They've implied you're a hussy, the only correct response is to imply the same back.

Otherwise, I personally would give my coldest stare and say "I can't believe you are being so rude" and walk away!

 

[OceanAnnie]

They keep bringing it up, huh? I think I'd have to say, "I heard you all the times you've brought it up. Now it's time for you to hear me. You don't get a say in the matter. Drop it.". Sometimes nice doesn't cut it, you have to be blunt with consistently rude people.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Everyone I know wore a white wedding dress regardless of their level of "purity". Some were on their second wedding and some already had kids.

The "only the pure wear a white dress" nonsense is completely outdated in most of society so I would have just laughed at these people and said something along the lines of welcome to the 21st century. I don't know why people care so much about what other people do anyway.

ITA!! Who cares? I bet you look beautiful in your dress!

 

[Rora]

Thanks so much everyone!! Your responses make me feel a lot better.

I can't believe these girls. I went to high school with them and we've been best friends for such a long time. At the risk of making myself sound far too interesting/exciting laughing, I think they are jealous that I'm getting married. We're all at the age when the marriage bug bites and it's a race to the alter.

I will ignore these comments if they persist or, if I'm really angry, tell them it's my choice and to shut it!!

Thanks again!

 

[PaulaSB12]

I am getting married on April 10th and am so very excited!
The other day I was talking with a few "friends" who thought it was ridiculous that I was choosing to wear a white wedding dress. They basically told me that since I've been dating and living with DFiance for so many years, it was entirely inappropriate to wear white. They also said that they had spoke to other friends and even family members of mine who thought it was silly that I was going to wear white!

I'm very upset. I KNOW I shouldn't let this bother me but for some reason it really really does. Of course I'm not going to run out and buy a new wedding dress- I love mine!- to appease these people. I was speechless when they said this to me... I have no idea how to respond and for some reason they keep bringing it up (great friends, huh?). So how can I tactfully tell them to shut the heck up and mind their own beeswax without offending the most offendable people on the planet? Thanks for helping out an emotional bride...

If she says anything again just quote this ryme about wedding dresses

Married in white, you have chosen alright.
Married in green, ashamed to be seen.
Married in grey, you'll go far away.
Married in red, you'll wish yourself dead.
Married in blue, love ever true.
Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow.
Married in black, you'll wish yourself back.
Married in pink, your spirits will sink

 

[taylor3297]

White wedding dress became in vogue after Queen Victoria decided to wear a white dress when she wed Albert. Before then brides wore dark colors and heavey brocade gowns. It had nothing to do with purity.

 

[eliza61]

I am getting married on April 10th and am so very excited!
The other day I was talking with a few "friends" who thought it was ridiculous that I was choosing to wear a white wedding dress. They basically told me that since I've been dating and living with DFiance for so many years, it was entirely inappropriate to wear white. They also said that they had spoke to other friends and even family members of mine who thought it was silly that I was going to wear white!

I'm very upset. I KNOW I shouldn't let this bother me but for some reason it really really does. Of course I'm not going to run out and buy a new wedding dress- I love mine!- to appease these people. I was speechless when they said this to me... I have no idea how to respond and for some reason they keep bringing it up (great friends, huh?). So how can I tactfully tell them to shut the heck up and mind their own beeswax without offending the most offendable people on the planet? Thanks for helping out an emotional bride...

I'm a firm believer that weddings and funerals bring out the worse in people.

Now my personal feelings are that weddings are a public celebration of the love and committment (sp) two people have for each other. These rules and regulations we put on this celebration baffle me.
The clothes you and your fiancee wear are so far down the list of "whats really important" it's not even worth mentioning.

I would simply smile sweetly at the busy bodies and say "That's interesting" and call it a day.

Most people who are ill mannered don't think they are ill mannered (they think they are dropping helpful hints) so pointing it out to them will probably just lead to you being more upset. Why expend the energy.

 

[ROEDISNEY]

I say where what ever makes you happy and the heck with everybody else. Enjoy your day. I call people like that JEALOUS.

 

[DisneyMim]

WOW!! This sounds like something an old person would say, not a young person as I am assuming these "friends" are. I would just totally ignore them, wear what you want. This is just my opinion, but it sounds like there is something else going on here. Envy?? It doesn't make sense to me at all. My daughter friend is getting married this summer (we're invited, yeah!!) and they've been living together and he has a little girl already. Of course she's going to wear a beautiful white gown. I would expect it, and the funny thing is her parents are kind of the "old-fashioned" type!! Some "friends" you have if you will excuse me for saying it. They don't really seem like the kind you could count on.

Have a Wonderful Wedding and don't think twice about what anyone says!

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Thanks so much everyone!! Your responses make me feel a lot better.

I can't believe these girls. I went to high school with them and we've been best friends for such a long time. At the risk of making myself sound far too interesting/exciting laughing, I think they are jealous that I'm getting married. We're all at the age when the marriage bug bites and it's a race to the alter.

I will ignore these comments if they persist or, if I'm really angry, tell them it's my choice and to shut it!!

Thanks again!

Boy does that sound like high school. The cool girls who are your friends don't like that you're getting married before them!

Honey, don't pay them another thought. Enjoy the rest of your planning and look forward to your big day with your DF. Maybe for your thank-you cards, you could send a picture of your wedding dress! And inside it could say...thank you for your support on this special day, your input made it so much more enjoyable. Feel free to borrow my WHITE dress when your big day comes!

 

[purplegirl247]

Thought this was appropriate. Here's Dear Abby from today! Who are your friends to argue with her, lol??

DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter is being married for the first time to the father of her two children. She is planning a large traditional wedding in which her father will give her away. She wants to include their children in the ceremony, too.

Under the circumstances, wouldn't a small wedding (without the long white dress and associated traditions) be more appropriate? My opinion has not been requested, nor would I ever provide it, but I am curious because I believe some of the older relatives in the family may be shocked. -- SOMEWHAT SHOCKED MYSELF IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SOMEWHAT: Unless the older relatives in the family have been living in seclusion, with no magazines, tabloids, television and the Internet, I'm sure they realize that in the last 40 years some of the old rules have been retired. Among them: restrictions against large church weddings for longtime cohabitating couples and white dresses for non-virgin brides. Should any of the old folks show signs of shock, offer a shoulder for them to lean on. But don't be surprised if none of them is surprised at all.

 

[Gigi22]

To the OP, I echo the sentiments expressed here. I've been married over 25 years, and I remember one of my married female cousins asking me before I got married, if I would be wearing white (talk about a passive aggressive question). I smiled and told her, "Nope--I'm wearing winter white. I look like s--- in plain white!" She never asked again, nor did anyone else.

 

[MrsPete]

I am getting married on April 10th and am so very excited!
The other day I was talking with a few "friends" who thought it was ridiculous that I was choosing to wear a white wedding dress. They basically told me that since I've been dating and living with DFiance for so many years, it was entirely inappropriate to wear white. They also said that they had spoke to other friends and even family members of mine who thought it was silly that I was going to wear white!

I'm very upset. I KNOW I shouldn't let this bother me but for some reason it really really does. Of course I'm not going to run out and buy a new wedding dress- I love mine!- to appease these people. I was speechless when they said this to me... I have no idea how to respond and for some reason they keep bringing it up (great friends, huh?). So how can I tactfully tell them to shut the heck up and mind their own beeswax without offending the most offendable people on the planet? Thanks for helping out an emotional bride...

Several random comments, some in your favor, some not:

1. Your friends were rude and very much out of line to say this to you. Other people will say (or think) the same thing, but they probably won't say it to your face.

2. White does symbolize purity, innocence, and holiness (think doves, Holy Communion, angels) in American society -- in other countries colors have different meanings. People have begun saying in recent years that it symbolizes joy, but that isn't really true -- it's a rationalization for the brides wearing white thing. A symbol is something that appears in various parts of society, in a wide variety of situations, and I can't come up with a single example of white as a "joyous" symbol.

3. You're not quite consistant in your thinking here. You chose to live with your boyfriend, which was a statement that you didn't care about tradition, that you were blazing your own path, doing things your own way . . . and now you care that people say you're not being traditional. You can't have it both ways. Your choice . . . but you can't go non-traditional and then fault others for recognizing that you've made non-traditional choices.

4. A bride who doesn't feel that it's right for her to wear white usually wears off-white or cream.

 

[Kathi OD]

Am I the only one thinking that if these are OPs best friends, they could certainly double as enemies??

Oh, BTW Rora, wear what you want...white, purple, or polka dotted. When you supposed friends pay for the dress and wedding, then they MIGHT get a say as to what you wear.

Congrats!

 

[Mandychelle79]

My aunt made a comment about me wearing white to the wedding.


My mom had the perfect comeback. " She is a virgin bride, first time she has been married"