How could my own MIL do this to me!!!

[sajetto]

Sajetto - what is your DF saying about all this? Have you been talking about it or is he just too embarassed to discuss it?

My DF has been really upset. He talked to her about it last night and told me that she had an "excuse" for everything. He said that he didn't think she was going to fess up to it so the best thing to do is leave it be and be mindful of my things and where they are. He helped me go through boxes last night to make sure nothing else was missing.

He also said that he thinks she lied about where the nightgowns were because she was out of town and didn't think that we would go through her drawers to get them. He believes that she planned to put everything back where it was and then pretend that nothing had happened and that I just didn't look hard enough for them.

When I asked him if she'd ever stolen from someone before he said no. He also said that she must know that what she did was wrong or she wouldn't have lied about it, but he said also not to expect see her have any remorse or apologize for it. Apparently, she never really apologizes for anything she does.

 

[crazy4disney01]

Good grief-It sounds like she has a problem and can't be trusted. Even if she thought you were going to "get rid" of some stuff she should've asked you first instead of going through all your stuff. Good thing your DF is on your side. It sounded like she didn't think she did anything wrong, but she should apologize.

 

[IwasatWDWforamonth]

Im glad you found your stuff, that was such a mean thing to do.

 

[Cass]

He said that he didn't think she was going to fess up to it so the best thing to do is leave it be and be mindful of my things and where they are.

That's bull, he's just afraid to stand up to his Mom. Don't let him gloss it over he has to deal with it. This is not going away.

 

[sajetto]

I don't see what else he can do. He already confronted her about it and told her to stay out of my things. He can't make her tell the truth and I'm just going to stay worked up if I expect anything else.

 

[N.Bailey]

Not to mention, what made her think it was yard sale stuff? Was it in a box marked "Yard Sale" (I'm sure it wasn't)?

What does your DF say about this? What does he say to her? And one final thought...I am sure glad it was your DF who went through her drawers and not you!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I always go into Victoria Secret and buy new bras to take home for yard sales.

You all do the same, right?

 

[sajetto]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I always go into Victoria Secret and buy new bras to take home for yard sales.

You all do the same, right?

Thank you. That's the first time I've laughed since this weekend

 

[Shugardrawers]

Your DF seems to have known just where to find the stuff. Are you sure this isn't the first time she's done something like this?

 

[sajetto]

Your DF seems to have known just where to find the stuff. Are you sure this isn't the first time she's done something like this?

We both went looking for it in her house. I was looking in the bathroom while he was looking in her bedroom. We both had the feeling that she may of taken some of those things so I don't think the feeling comes from any past history. I knew that she had specifically asked about those bras so as much as I didn't want to think she had taken them I had to look, he just happened to be the one that found them.

 

[MBeds]

Apparently, she never really apologizes for anything she does.

Oh, one of those, huh?

I cannot stand people like that!

Hang in there!

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Oh, Caroline! I am so, so sorry!

How incredibly infuriating and frustrating! She shoul dbe absolutely ashamed of herself. I am sure her whole, "You went in my drawers?!" is becuase she's embarassed she was caught. What I am struggling most with is not the shoes or the drapes, but your most personal and intimated garments being in her closet! This is the woman your son is marrying and you're wearing her bras and nighties?! The same ones that your son has seen her in? It just seems very, very wierd to me.

I am so sorry, love. Please try to put it behind you so that you can move on. You don't need to have any added drama at the wedding becuase of this. One of those that you can...with time...forgive, but unlikely forget.

Who knew you needed to put pad locks on things stored at FMILs house?!

Maybe she can give you some money so that you can go and get some new bras and whatnot? Are the shoes still in good shape?

Cannot believe that she would go through your boxes....WOWZAHS!

Cheer up or I'll PM you another picture....

 

[luvdzne]

We both went looking for it in her house. I was looking in the bathroom while he was looking in her bedroom. We both had the feeling that she may of taken some of those things so I don't think the feeling comes from any past history. I knew that she had specifically asked about those bras so as much as I didn't want to think she had taken them I had to look, he just happened to be the one that found them.

First off what do you mean by she specifically asked about those bras Did she ask about them after she was confronted with stealing your stuff and say by the way did you find the bras I stole too? Or did she say hey where did you get those nice bras, I really like them before she stole them

I also find it strange that you both had a feeling she took them. I think that your bf had to know. This is not something someone does for the first time, and not to their son's gf. He is probably too embarrassed to say that she has done it before.

Maybe it is her way of making you question your relationship with her son so she can have him back to herself There have been shows about this kind of stuff you know. Mom can't stand the thought of losing her son to another woman. So she makes her life miserable, steals her things, makes her feel like she's crazy. O.k. maybe I watch too much T.V. :

 

[fabumouse]

Although you're not married yet, you might want to start thinking about what you're going to when you have children. Will you and DF be able to agree that his mother will never babysit (for instance)? A person who cannot/will not be responsible and appropriately apologetic for her actions with your *stuff* is not going to accept your rules regarding your kids.

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

Wow, your MIL takes the cake on this one. Lesson learned the hard way.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

There have been shows about this kind of stuff you know. :

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

 

[sajetto]

Or did she say hey where did you get those nice bras, I really like them before she stole them

That one. When I was putting my stuff in boxes she said they were pretty and asked if they fit. I wanted to say "duh lady, sure I go out and buy brand new bras when they don't fit me "

 

[Stitchfans]

That is terrible. I am so sorry she would do something like that to you. What a horrible way to start off your relationship with new inlaws.

 

[sajetto]

Maybe she can give you some money so that you can go and get some new bras and whatnot? Are the shoes still in good shape?

Cannot believe that she would go through your boxes....WOWZAHS!

Cheer up or I'll PM you another picture....

Jill


Boy am I glad to see you! I'm definitely needing a goofy picture right about now.

The shoes are fine. I'm guessing she's had them for a week. Most likely she wore them to the office once or twice, but there isn't enough noticable wear. The bras on the other hand, are another story. Half have the tags still on, the other half do not. That really burns my muffins!

 

[sajetto]

Fir
Maybe it is her way of making you question your relationship with her son so she can have him back to herself There have been shows about this kind of stuff you know. Mom can't stand the thought of losing her son to another woman. So she makes her life miserable, steals her things, makes her feel like she's crazy. O.k. maybe I watch too much T.V. :

Actually that's not crazy at all, it sounds just like her! He is her baby, the one that turned out right (I won't even go into her other son) and she has NEVER liked a single gf he had through high school or college.

 

[bananiem]

Although you're not married yet, you might want to start thinking about what you're going to when you have children. Will you and DF be able to agree that his mother will never babysit (for instance)? A person who cannot/will not be responsible and appropriately apologetic for her actions with your *stuff* is not going to accept your rules regarding your kids.

I agree with this. Time to have a BIG talk. The fact that he just wants to "leave things alone" now makes me think he's scared to confront her. But it has to be done NOW or she will continue to take advantage. He needs to let her know in no uncertain terms that she has broken his confidence and trust and will have to earn it back.