How could my own MIL do this to me!!!

[willis37862]

By all means, watch her like a hawk. I'd assign one of my friends or relatives to babysit her at the wedding, and I'd also decorate a nice locked box for people to put my wedding gift envelopes in. They'd probably be the hting to go...gifts would probably be reasonably safe because they are a lot more noticeable. I'd also put locks on all the doors in your home, so that when she is there, you can lock those areas to which you want to deny her access.

Yes I agree with this. By all means make sure you have the envelopes given to you at the wedding put in a safe place. This is good advice at any wedding though. You never know who a friend or relative might bring as a date. And unfortunatly there are a lot of weirdos out there.

I am so sorry that this woman will be part of your family though. Marriage can be bumpy enough with out relatives adding a strain to it. I know you are very mad now, but like some of the other posts have said you will have to find a way to deal with this in the future. Even if it means very limited contact and that you do have to watch her like a hawk while she is in your home. Also there was a good suggestion in another post to make sure you could lock up some of your rooms when she comes to your home. It is awful that you have to do this. It is a shame people think they are entitled to things that do not belong to them.

And a side point. You might want to be careful who you tell about this, as sometimes things get back to people.And Df might be hurt if he thought all your friends and family knew about his mom. (that is one reason I love the disboards so, a nice place to vent) But I would talk it out with him and see if he can offer insight in to her strange behavior.

I wish you and DF the best.

 

[luvdzne]

I am so glad I have a wonderful MIL!

Did she think you wouldn't notice your curtains hanging on the wall, or your shoes on her feet? Now the bra and nighties Is she even your size That is just plain weird! It sounds to me she has a serious problem and I agree with the other posters, don't let this women have a key to your house.

Maybe get her a gift card to VS and tell her you would have gladly bought her some bras if she needed them that badly
Your poor DBF

 

[luvdzne]

My DF and I always knew that his mother really liked my things. I don't know if there is any past history with her, but I do know that his grandmother (her mother) has a past of swiping things that don't belong to her.

This sounds like there is a serious problem with stealing in his family. I'm sure she has probally done this before

 

[sajetto]

This is another reason why this is SO bizarre! I'm only 110lbs and I'm 5'4". She is at least 145lb and a little taller. There is no way she could put on my nightgowns, but I do know that she sure as heck tried b/c the gown I was looking so desperately for is now so strectched out that I can't even wear it. I can't understand why she'd take a gown (its beautiful and all that) that is 2 sizes too small!

 

[ChristmasElf]

Don't let your guard down with this person, as once a theif ALWAYS a theif.Sure she was caught this time, but she will try again. First with something silly and small, and then it will graduate to bigger things.
My MIL used to come over and go through all the mail-just to be nosy. My own Mother would take the dumbest things-first a bottle of nail polish, then if she liked one of my pans for cooking, she would take that. She has taken bath towels that she liked,one of my favorite sweaters, the list goes on.

Each time I would say something to her, first she would deny it and then try to make ME feel guilty that I brought it up when I would come across something of mine at her house. My Dad would be totally oblivious to the whole situation. It has really over the years taken a toll on the whole Mother/daughter relationship.

But she will never change. Now when she comes over we put things away that might dissappear and she will never have a key to my house.

Some people just feel like they are "entitled" and that "you won't mind"

Good Luck to you on this. And at the wedding, I would ask a trusted friend or relative to be responsible for the gifts and hold them for you until you return from the honeymoon.

 

[beckmrk04]

Ugh- sajetto, that just sucks. Plain and simple. Sorry- I hope things work out!!

 

[sajetto]

Now that I get to thinking about it, I don't think she could have worn my bras either. Sure they were IPEX and brand new, but they still wouldn't fit her, so maybe she does have a problem


How is my DF normal?

 

[Quinn222]

OMG. That is just - just - I don't even have words for that. How sad for your DF. It probably says something that he knew to look in her drawers for your things but maybe best not to wonder exactly what it says.

 

[DVC Sadie]

I just don't know what to say. She sounds as if she has a mental problem. I wonder what your poor DF really thinks and I feel so sorry for him in this situation. It sounds as if you handled the situation appropriately because knowing me I would have said something inappropriate to her.

WHAT was she thinking? Yikes!

It's bad enough she appropriated your nightgowns and bras but to steal your shoes and jewelry.

 

[grlpwrd]

ewwwww, it totally skeeves me out to think of my MIL touching my undies.

Sorry, but I have to

. That was my first thought, too.

She really sounds like she has some issues so watch your back.

 

[Pugdog007]

Now that I get to thinking about it, I don't think she could have worn my bras either. Sure they were IPEX and brand new, but they still wouldn't fit her, so maybe she does have a problem


How is my DF normal?

MAYBE she has a problem?

 

[momrek06]

OP: Maybe she is getting a little senile....how old is MIL, OP????

Do you think she is confused at all ? Have you heard stories of her taking from other family members? I mean she took allot of your stuff. Did she think when she lite the candles or hung the drapes you wouldn't have noticed?

OP, I feel badly for you and sad for MIL. She is troubled in some ways. Best to keep your distance for a while but after-all she is family and you will have many many more years to deal with her.

Good Luck, OP in dealing with MIL . Is she remorseful at all for her actions?

 

[Cass]

What is your DF saying about all this? a MIL like that can drive a wedge between you, he better not be glossing this over or taking her side.

I'd be hopping mad and make it clear to her that she has lost your trust and if she pulls any more crap with you or anyone else the whole family will know about it - you'll send out letters.

Then I would elope

 

[MAKmom]

I'm so dumb. I thought your DF was your father until this post. Then I was wondering why your father was looking in MIL drawers. Why did the real DF think to look in the Drawers?

 

[RitaZ.]

One word: kleptomaniac!

Stealing someone's bras? I can't get passed that one!

When you do marry her son, don't give her a key to your house.

 

[N.Bailey]

This is another reason why this is SO bizarre! I'm only 110lbs and I'm 5'4". She is at least 145lb and a little taller. There is no way she could put on my nightgowns, but I do know that she sure as heck tried b/c the gown I was looking so desperately for is now so strectched out that I can't even wear it. I can't understand why she'd take a gown (its beautiful and all that) that is 2 sizes too small!

This is what I've been thinking. You're so tiny! I was 108 and 5'3 1/4" the day I got married and there is no way I could fit in anything I had when I married. I'm far from overweight, but I'm not as tiny as you anymore!

She sounds like a really strange woman.

 

[lecach]

Sajetto - what is your DF saying about all this? Have you been talking about it or is he just too embarassed to discuss it?

 

[sajetto]

OP: Maybe she is getting a little senile....how old is MIL, OP????

Do you think she is confused at all ?

Good Luck, OP in dealing with MIL . Is she remorseful at all for her actions?

My FMIL is only 50 years old and she didn't seem at all confused, but she sure wasn't remorseful either. Last night she told my DF that we had some nerve going through her drawers and what she had taken she had thought was definitely yard sale and that I was definitely getting paid for it. That's still wrong though! Even if it was yard sale stuff you don't just put someone's things in your house and then decide how much you'll pay them. Its the other way around, I'd price it then she'd decide if she was going to pay MY price or not. THEN if she bought it she could put it where she pleased. But I'm getting off track, this is far from the case.

 

[chris1gill]

My FMIL is only 50 years old and she didn't seem at all confused, but she sure wasn't remorseful either. Last night she told my DF that we had some nerve going through her drawers and what she had taken she had thought was definitely yard sale and that I was definitely getting paid for it. That's still wrong though! Even if it was yard sale stuff you don't just put someone's things in your house and then decide how much you'll pay them. Its the other way around, I'd price it then she'd decide if she was going to pay MY price or not. THEN if she bought it she could put it where she pleased. But I'm getting off track, this is far from the case.

Sajetto, I hope you know this is just an excuse she came up with to cover her tracks.... she's trying to make you guys feel bad for what SHE did... sounds like she can't even admit what she did.... If her excuse was accurate, she would not have lied about not knowing where the stuff was.... sounds like she's a bad mis-truth teller! Don't fall for it...

 

[Maleficent13]

Not to mention, what made her think it was yard sale stuff? Was it in a box marked "Yard Sale" (I'm sure it wasn't)?

What does your DF say about this? What does he say to her? And one final thought...I am sure glad it was your DF who went through her drawers and not you!