How Can Parents Be So Clueless?

[pacrosby]

No problem, I'm happy to assuage your curiosity. You've asked several questions here, so let's take them one by one.

1) I would call as soon as I saw the child alone in the car. It is not my job to investigate or try and wait around to see if and when the parent returns to the vehicle. That is the job of the police officers, I would simply contact them and let them take it from there.

2) As referenced above, it is not my job to attempt contact with the child alone in the car to assess the situation, but I can certainly contact the authorities and let them take care of that.

3) That is a tough one but I think you are pretty well on target (8, 9, 11).

4) If I were anywhere, including MA, I would call the authorities if I saw a child in an unattended vehicle. Although MA may not have a law which specifically spells it out, all states including MA have child endangerment laws. It would be up to the responding officers as to whether those laws apply in this case. Maybe they brush it off, and maybe they don't.

5) All states have some form of child endangerment laws, even MA.

With regard to the last part in bold, you are certainly entitled to your own personal opinion, but that is ultimately all it is. Hopefully, there are enough people in the world who would do the right thing and not just walk on by doing nothing.
Play on.

Apparently not all states equate leaving an elementary school aged child in a car unattended as child endangerment. What part of that do you not get???

And referring to the bolded:

I suppose as long as you are willing to acknowledge that you are indeed one of those holier than thou busy bodies who is more concerned with teaching others some lesson you believe needs to be taught than tending to your own life........ I suppose there's not much else to say.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

No problem, I'm happy to assuage your curiosity. You've asked several questions here, so let's take them one by one.

1) I would call as soon as I saw the child alone in the car. It is not my job to investigate or try and wait around to see if and when the parent returns to the vehicle. That is the job of the police officers, I would simply contact them and let them take it from there.

2) As referenced above, it is not my job to attempt contact with the child alone in the car to assess the situation, but I can certainly contact the authorities and let them take care of that.

3) That is a tough one but I think you are pretty well on target (8, 9, 11).

4) If I were anywhere, including MA, I would call the authorities if I saw a child in an unattended vehicle. Although MA may not have a law which specifically spells it out, all states including MA have child endangerment laws. It would be up to the responding officers as to whether those laws apply in this case. Maybe they brush it off, and maybe they don't.

5) All states have some form of child endangerment laws, even MA.

With regard to the last part in bold, you are certainly entitled to your own personal opinion, but that is ultimately all it is. Hopefully, there are enough people in the world who would do the right thing and not just walk on by doing nothing.

Play on.

 

[Wadecool]

Apparently not all states equate leaving an elementary school aged child in a car unattended as child endangerment. What part of that do you not get???

Referring to the bolded:

Well, as long as you are willing to acknowledge that you are indeed one of those holier than thou busy bodies who is more concerned with teaching others some lesson you believe needs to be taught than tending to your own life........ I suppose there's not much else to say.

All states have some form of child endangerment laws (even MA) which can and are interpreted by law enforcement as they deem appropriate. What part of that don't you get?

As long as you are willing to admit that you are indeed one of those self-absorbed people who are not willing to take time out of your daily routine to look out for the welfare of a child....... There is not much left to say.

Nice try, though.

 

[Wadecool]

Duplicate post.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

The thing is, you can't try to disguise a a safety issue or even a potential crime as a "parenting style." If someone sayS, "OMG! Your 5-year old is standing in the middle of the street!" You can't justify it by saying, "It's OK. I trust him to move when he sees a car coming. It's my parenting style." That's like saying, "I didn't steal this scarf. It's just my shopping style."

Style or not, it can still be illegal, unsafe or just wrong and other people are justified for enlisting authorities to contront you about your mistake.

True story: We called a parent in my preschool class because her son had a rash on his back and she needed to pick him up. Kids with undiagnosed rashes cannot be in school. She said, "Well, the baby is sleeping so I'll have to see if I can find a neighbor to stay with him. Would you mind bringing my son out to the curb in case I have the sleeping baby in the car?" Sure. No problem.

So she pulled up and I walked her son out. When she opened the door of the van, there was no baby. I said, "Oh good. You found someone to stay with the baby." She said, "No one was available, so I'm using this as my extended baby monitor." She held up her cell phone and said she left the house phone in the crib next to the baby. She said, "This way, I can hear him if he wakes up." Then she kind of giggled. She lived at least 10 minutes away. What was she going to do if the 5-month old baby woke up and she couldn't get to him for 10 minutes? What if she heard choking sounds? A smoke detector? What if we had an earthquake? She already said none of her neighbors were around.

I went directly to the school principal (we're a public school). She said she would take care of it. It turned out she sent our police community liason to her house (a uniformed officer). He told her he'd received a report that she left her 5-month old home alone and told her she couldn't do it again. The officer said she looked scared out of her wits. She must have known it was me who blew the whistle on her, but I don't care. I'm a mandated reporter and a mom. She made a really bad choice and appeared as if she thought it was OK. A few days later, she made a big deal of telling us she had hired a nanny to help her with the baby. This was confirmed by one of her older son's therapists who worked with him at home and school. Too bad it took a cop at her door to make her realize she'd been really stupid.

 

[ccgirl]

That was posted when she first joined and I linked it to show that she calls herself a free range parent. You would need to read her many, many other posts to get the whole picture of her questionable parenting style. And you defending her bad judgment by calling it a personal parenting style is your choice, but, in reality, it's clearly something else. I don't usually get all caught up in judging others parenting styles, but do, apparently get sucked into these threads sometimes, but her posts ALWAYS catch my eye, there's something just not right.

I just want to clarify something...I am not defending her bad judgement or her personal parenting style. I am defending her right to parent as she sees fit. She did not coin the term free range. Free range is also compared to the helicopter parent on the other extreme. There are many articles lately about them. Basically, they are both extremes. One is no better than the other.

 

[Bob NC]

If you will look at her other posts here........

Ok, Ok, you have told us that like 8 times now, we get it. Repetition does not strengthen your argument.

And, for what it's worth, the link you posted really does nothing to justify your, (overboard), opinion of her.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

Ok, Ok, you have told us that like 8 times now, we get it. Repetition does not strengthen your argument.

And, for what it's worth, the link you posted really does nothing to justify your, (overboard), opinion of her.

The link I posted was to show that she referred to herself as a free range parent. And, did you read all of her previous posts here on the Dis? (Looky there, my count just went up to 9!) If so, then you would see why I'm justified in my opinion. It's not about one particular post, or one particular thread. My opinion has been formed from reading many (too many) disturbing posts about her parenting style. I find it strange that most of you would say you don't agree with her comments, but come back to defend her because it's her "choice" and her "style." It would be almost laughable, if it weren't so sad.

But, really, I don't think I should comment about her anymore. I know she is still following this thread and I think by seeing responses like this from you and others she will get validation for her parenting "style," or the lack there of. Sad, sad, sad.

 

[Bob NC]

And, did you read all of her previous posts here on the Dis? (Looky there, my count just went up to 9!)

Ok, Ok, you have told us that like 9 times now, we get it. Repetition does not strengthen your argument.

And, for what it's worth, the link you posted really does nothing to justify your, (overboard), opinion of her.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

Ok, Ok, you have told us that like 9 times now, we get it. Repetition does not strengthen your argument.

And, for what it's worth, the link you posted really does nothing to justify your, (overboard), opinion of her.

Aw, Bob, I'm sorry, you have trouble reading.

 

[Glennie5]

I think you did the right thing by making sure the child in the car was safe. Would I have confronted the mother? Probably not, would I have like to - absolutely. I would not leave my children in a car unattended at that age but then I wouldn't let my child swing through the jungle barefoot carrying a machete either.

 

[mjkacmom]

I just want to clarify something...I am not defending her bad judgement or her personal parenting style. I am defending her right to parent as she sees fit. She did not coin the term free range. Free range is also compared to the helicopter parent on the other extreme. There are many articles lately about them. Basically, they are both extremes. One is no better than the other.

I agree with this. I usually agree with her posts, because I'm definitely closer to free range than helicopter, and I do feel that you CAN be to protective, and it CAN be harmful. I let my kids do things that others might not be comfortable with (walk to and from school, ride their bikes around, leave them at practices, fly unattended, use a public bathroom alone at the age of 5...).

I never leave the younger ones unattended in the car, however, but there are frequent carjackings around here.

 

[angierae]

Aw, Bob, I'm sorry, you have trouble reading.

It more seems that you have trouble understand that not everybody agrees with you, and you think if we just read it again, we'll agree.

I don't agree with you. I think the vast majority of parents these days are overprotective and not doing their children any favors, because their children never learn how to deal with anything on their own, always with a parent leaning over their shoulder.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

It more seems that you have trouble understand that not everybody agrees with you, and you think if we just read it again, we'll agree.

I don't agree with you. I think the vast majority of parents these days are overprotective and not doing their children any favors, because their children never learn how to deal with anything on their own, always with a parent leaning over their shoulder.

No, I don't actually have a problem with anyone disagreeing with me, it just seems to me that no one will actually read the damn posts I keep referencing, not just the idiotic stuff in this thread, but the conglomeration of things she's written in the past.

And I guess if you think that leaving a 5 year old in a running car for more than 15 minutes is "doing them a favor" and "teaching them to deal with things on their own" then more power to you! I mean that's just your "style."

 

[Bob NC]

it just seems to me that no one will actually read the damn posts I keep referencing,"

Ok, Ok, you have told us that like 10 times now, we get it. Repetition does not strengthen your argument.

And, for what it's worth, the link you posted really does nothing to justify your, (overboard), opinion of her.

 

[angierae]

No, I don't actually have a problem with anyone disagreeing with me, it just seems to me that no one will actually read the damn posts I keep referencing, not just the idiotic stuff in this thread, but the conglomeration of things she's written in the past.

And I guess if you think that leaving a 5 year old in a running car for more than 15 minutes is "doing them a favor" and "teaching them to deal with things on their own" then more power to you! I mean that's just your "style."

I read the post you linked to.

I can disagree with something specific (leaving a 5 year old in a running car for 15+ minutes) and still not disagree that a lot of parents go completely overboard when it comes to protecting their kids. There is a huge free-range parenting movement. I see from your posts you've never heard of it before. That doesn't mean it isn't something that's going on all over the place as we realize that really, our kids aren't going to break if they have to do something for themselves. We all have to figure out where those comfort levels are for us and our families. Some kids are capable of being home alone at 11 or 12, some kids need a sitter into their teen years because they aren't capable of behaving or handling an emergency. Unless someone is doing something outright illegal or OBVIOUSLY dangerous, I tend to leave people's parenting choices alone.

As for the actual topic of this thread? I would have alerted the store manager (or, as did happen, a police officer I saw in the area) just in case something was actually wrong.

I would not have stuck around to talk to the parent, because THAT is none of my business, especially when there's a police officer already involved.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

Ok, Ok, you have told us that like 10 times now, we get it. Repetition does not strengthen your argument.

And, for what it's worth, the link you posted really does nothing to justify your, (overboard), opinion of her.

Don't make me make it 11, Bob.

 

[crashbb]

No, I don't actually have a problem with anyone disagreeing with me, it just seems to me that no one will actually read the damn posts I keep referencing, not just the idiotic stuff in this thread, but the conglomeration of things she's written in the past.

And I guess if you think that leaving a 5 year old in a running car for more than 15 minutes is "doing them a favor" and "teaching them to deal with things on their own" then more power to you! I mean that's just your "style."

Read the link you posted (and a couple of other threads). Still disagree with you that the PP is a horrible person and a terrible parent.

 

[Bob NC]

Don't make me make it 11, Bob.

LOL. Good one!

 

[LilyWDW]

No, I don't actually have a problem with anyone disagreeing with me, it just seems to me that no one will actually read the damn posts I keep referencing, not just the idiotic stuff in this thread, but the conglomeration of things she's written in the past.

And I guess if you think that leaving a 5 year old in a running car for more than 15 minutes is "doing them a favor" and "teaching them to deal with things on their own" then more power to you! I mean that's just your "style."

I HAVE read most of the posts and while there are things that I do not personally agree with, that doesn't make the poster as horrible person. I bet I wouldn't agree with some of the things YOU do with your child... does that make you a horrible person? No, it makes our opinions different.

Honestly it sort of freaks me out that you are on such a mission against that poster. It's bordering on personal attacks. I really think you need to step back and just stop. Not agreeing with someone is cool and all... but this seems to have become more of a mission.