How can I protect my home?

[cheap traveler]

This is a little long, so I apologize in advance. I am posting this on the budget board because my only options may involve loans, but if the Mods want to move it, please do.

This trouble started in 2006 when my (then)husband and I seperated. Our house, was of course, mortgaged and deeded in both of our names. Our separation and divorce "contract" states that my ex has waived all legal rights to our house, and I will refinance to remove his name from the mortgage as soon as I can.

That's where it gets sticky. My income alone is not enough to qualify me for a mortgage. I have terrific credit, but they don't think I have enough money. I have been paying the mortgage(s) alone since November 2006, but they don't care about that.

Over the last 3 years, he has mentioned from time to time that he wants me to get him off the mortgage. I have spoken to 2 different loan agencies, one of which I used for our original mortgage. Last night he brought it up again, saying that he will "have it taken away" from me in 2010 if I don't do something about the mortgage. Those are his words, not mine. I asked him if he thought his kids would still love him when he is the reason they are homeless, but apparently he doesn't care about that.

Once I get my tax money back, I will be able to afford a session with my lawyer to find out what my legal options are, but that is months away. Does anyone know what I can do, or some sort of program that can help me get a new mortgage? My parents can't co-sign, they owe too much on their house. The other problem is the housing "slump" has me owing more than the house is worth, though only by a few thousand.

Thank you in advance for any advice.

 

[libinatorsmom]

Sounds like you need a lawyer But... if it states "As soon as you can" and you cant well you cant and as long as you are documenting that you attempted to and were turned down do to income levels I am guessing there is nothing he can do really... and as long as you are staying ontime with paymets etc (so not negatively affecting his credit) I dont think he will have any way to "take it away"

I am not a lawyer I am just thinking this is the case - I know how sticky divorces/seperations can be...

 

[Cynt]

I was in a different but similar situation. I wasn't purchasing the home I was to remain in the house until it sold. It would not sell...new community, they could purchase a new home less than what our home was selling for and we were just trying to break even. My ex swore I was doing something to the house so it wouldn't sell. I kept telling him that it wasn't me it was the market. That went on from Aug 2001 - Dec 2004. I moved out of the house and he moved in the house. He was able to see first hand that it wasn't me. The house didn't sell until Jan 2006.

So as long as you're documenting and trying the courts will be ok since you're making an effort to do what you were supposed to do.

 

[Darcy03231]

This is a little long, so I apologize in advance. I am posting this on the budget board because my only options may involve loans, but if the Mods want to move it, please do.

This trouble started in 2006 when my (then)husband and I seperated. Our house, was of course, mortgaged and deeded in both of our names. Our separation and divorce "contract" states that my ex has waived all legal rights to our house, and I will refinance to remove his name from the mortgage as soon as I can.

That's where it gets sticky. My income alone is not enough to qualify me for a mortgage. I have terrific credit, but they don't think I have enough money. I have been paying the mortgage(s) alone since November 2006, but they don't care about that.

Over the last 3 years, he has mentioned from time to time that he wants me to get him off the mortgage. I have spoken to 2 different loan agencies, one of which I used for our original mortgage. Last night he brought it up again, saying that he will "have it taken away" from me in 2010 if I don't do something about the mortgage. Those are his words, not mine. I asked him if he thought his kids would still love him when he is the reason they are homeless, but apparently he doesn't care about that.

Once I get my tax money back, I will be able to afford a session with my lawyer to find out what my legal options are, but that is months away. Does anyone know what I can do, or some sort of program that can help me get a new mortgage? My parents can't co-sign, they owe too much on their house. The other problem is the housing "slump" has me owing more than the house is worth, though only by a few thousand.

Thank you in advance for any advice.

While he can't "take away" your house, he can ask the Court to order you to sell it if you can't get his name off the mortgage. That kind of language is pretty standard in divorce decrees where I live (ie you have so much time to refinance to remove the other persons name or the house is placed on the market for sale). Technically, he's still responsible for the mortgage and its showing on his credit report. Even though you pay it on time, he can't get another mortgage to buy his own home until you get him off this one. It can also hamper his ability to get credit because his credit report shows that he still owes it.

If you're house is worth less that what you owe you most likely won't qualify for a refinance loan anyway. No one is going to loan you more that what your house is worth.

Before spending the money on a lawyer I would meet with a couple of lenders to see what it is you need to do to get a new loan and how much you can borrow (some lenders want you to have anywhere from 5%-20% equity in your home). If you have any other debt (car loan, student loan, credit cards) it may be that you just need to reduce your income to debt ratio. If so, I would start getting those things paid off asap.

One good thing is that if you owe more than what its worth and the Court orders you to put the house on the market, they can't order you to sell it for less than what you owe. You could put it on the market and have it not sell as its priced over the appraisal (we have a client that's done this - house has been on the market for almost three years now and her ex-husband can't do anything about it because it is on the market and neither one of them have the money to come up with for a short sale as they owe about $40,000 more than what the house is worth).

 

[micheleq]

Sounds like you need a mortgage broker who will do the legwork and research your options for you.

I don't know your situation, but keep in mind that your ex has had that mortgage (and credit extended) on his credit report for the last three years even though you are paying it. Maybe he needs credit himself for a place to live? A car? While he has relinquished his rights to the house, you also have the responsibility in the contract to remove his name from the mortgage. Two attempts in three years isn't going to look good if you bring that to a judge. Sorry to be harsh, but that is me looking from the outside.

It's the people inside that makes a house a home -- sometimes with a divorce you have to sell your house and downsize. My BIL is going through this right now. I've had friends and family do the same thing.

Good luck to you. I hope you can keep your house, but if you need to sell and downsize it's not the end of the world! Suze Orman has lots of good advice on topics like this too. hugs to you!

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

I'm going to move this over to the Community Board. I think that it will reach more people with similar experiences over there. Best of luck to you, OP. It sounds like a very stressful situation.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm not sure what you can do.

However I'm not sure if he can force the sale either, he might.

Have you been delinquent?

For now, I would just stayed paid up on your home. Unfortunately you are at the mercy of the market right now and a court cannot force a lender to refinance you.

A tip for you that HE needs to keep in mind....

If he forces the sale of the home, he will be stuck in the event you short sale. He'll take a hit on his credit report as you will. And there will not be a darn thing he can do about it.

I would apply for any and all refinancing options even if you already know the lender will say no. Without the attempts on record, it does make your situation look bad.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If you knew you could not afford to refinance the house, why would you agree to that in the divorce?
That is just odd to me in the first place.

I say that because if dh and I divorce it is obvious that I could not keep the house. I told him he can stay there and I will be the one to move out.

My advice to you would be to sell the house and move forward with your life.

 

[golfgal]

Are you sure you have to refinance to get him off the mortgage? Since you have a court order to do so can you file some kind of amendment to the mortgage without going through the entire refinance process? Can you call your lawyer and ask?

Any chance you have an FHA mortgage? You can do a refi without an appraisal with and FHA now.

 

[cheap traveler]

Thank you everyone for the great advice. I forgot to mention, the only thing helping his pitiful credit is my on-time payments of both mortgages every month. He left the marrage with nothing more then an $8000 car loan, and was over $50000 in debt 3 months later. Now he has defaulted on nearly all of those loans and can't finance a trip to the zoo.

As for why did I allow that in the divorce papers? My parents agreed to help me finance the house, but the first attempt showed how that we couldn't do that. My grandmother is my only other option, but everyone is always asking her for money, so I really prefer not to.

Don't worry about sounding harsh - anybody! I posted this here to get views and ideas from every angle. I know this mortgage would prevent him from getting another one, but that is not in the cards for him at any time in the near future, with the way he messed up his credit.

I am going to call my mortgage broker today, and try to call my mortgage company to ask again if they will "forgive" him of the loan, since he has not paid in 3 years. Whats the worse they can do, say no? (again)

Thank you again everyone!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Are you sure you have to refinance to get him off the mortgage? Since you have a court order to do so can you file some kind of amendment to the mortgage without going through the entire refinance process? Can you call your lawyer and ask?

The mortgage company does not have to honor a divorce decree.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Thank you everyone for the great advice. I forgot to mention, the only thing helping his pitiful credit is my on-time payments of both mortgages every month. He left the marrage with nothing more then an $8000 car loan, and was over $50000 in debt 3 months later. Now he has defaulted on nearly all of those loans and can't finance a trip to the zoo.

As for why did I allow that in the divorce papers? My parents agreed to help me finance the house, but the first attempt showed how that we couldn't do that. My grandmother is my only other option, but everyone is always asking her for money, so I really prefer not to.

Don't worry about sounding harsh - anybody! I posted this here to get views and ideas from every angle. I know this mortgage would prevent him from getting another one, but that is not in the cards for him at any time in the near future, with the way he messed up his credit.

I am going to call my mortgage broker today, and try to call my mortgage company to ask again if they will "forgive" him of the loan, since he has not paid in 3 years. Whats the worse they can do, say no? (again)

Thank you again everyone!!

Have you looked into finding a local Legal Aid Society where you live? This organization is a voluntary organization which gives legal assistance to people who are in a bind but who can't afford to pay. You may have to wait a while so I'd suggest you get on their waiting list for help right away.

 

[dumbodame]

I wonder why the re-finance order is in your divorce decree.

My ex and I divorced and I got the house...along with the mortgage, of course. He was required to sign a "Release of Interest."

I sent a copy of that, along with a copy of our divorce decree to my mortgage company. His name was removed from all paperwork and that was that.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

That's a really tough position to be in. I don't think I would have made the comment about the kids not loving him anymore if that's the reason they were homeless (but then again, if you thought about it again you probably wouldn't have either....probably just a knee jerk reaction, right?) As far as finding a mortgage, I don't know how to advise you but I do hope that everything turns out for the best for all of you.

 

[kellyg403]

OP, I do think that the only other option for taking his name off the mortgage is to sell if the bank won't agree to remove him from the mortgage. Given the amount of time that has past since the divorce this might work out in your favor.

When ex and I were going through our divorce, refinancing the house was the reason we had to sell. I could not get a loan since I had not been at my job for a year as well as not making enough money. The mortgage company wouldn't take his name off etc. A 'quit claim' is only good for making sure that the person has no interest in the property not the mortgage and other bills associated in both parties name. It did take about 9 months to sell it but finally we did and we started over.

It doesn't hurt to ask around and certainly, like others have suggested, calling a broker and explaining your needs and having them do all the work and looking at your best options is a good idea. They have access to all types of loans etc.

Good luck to you OP, I understand the stress of the situation!

Kelly

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I wonder why the re-finance order is in your divorce decree.

My ex and I divorced and I got the house...along with the mortgage, of course. He was required to sign a "Release of Interest."

I sent a copy of that, along with a copy of our divorce decree to my mortgage company. His name was removed from all paperwork and that was that.

My guess is that you qualified for the mortgage on your own thru your bank maybe.

Like the OP I would not qualify since I am a SAHM right now. She said she does not make enough money.

 

[dumbodame]

My mortgage company didn't question one thing when I got divorced and removed his name.
I called them, told them that my divorce was final and I wanted my ex's name off the mortgage. I asked them what they needed to do that.
They wanted a copy of the divorce decree and the Release of Interest...and a $25 dollar fee for the paperwork.
They never asked me one financial question...they didn't even ask if I had a job.
That was 10 years ago, so maybe things are done differently now?

 

[Sanchez]

My mortgage company didn't question one thing when I got divorced and removed his name.
I called them, told them that my divorce was final and I wanted my ex's name off the mortgage. I asked them what they needed to do that.
They wanted a copy of the divorce decree and the Release of Interest...and a $25 dollar fee for the paperwork.
They never asked me one financial question...they didn't even ask if I had a job.
That was 10 years ago, so maybe things are done differently now?

Yes, in my opinion things are much different. What happened to you is highly unlikely today given the current lending climate. Unless one has an 800 credit score, significant equity and provable sustained income it is very difficult to obtain a loan.

OP, I am not certain how a lawyer can help. I am faced with similar questions on a regular basis and there is often, if not always, no good legal answer. As the lender must approve removal of a name from the mortgage there is no legal way to force them to do so. I doubt there is much that your ex can do to force a sale if you show a good faith effort in your refi attempts, however I am not familiar with Ohio laws and do not know for sure (this appears to be one area where an Ohio attorney can help.)

 

[cheap traveler]

I called my mortgage company this afternoon (Wells Fargo), and my loan is not an "assumable" loan they tell me, meaning I can not assume responsibility for it. My only option through them is to try and re-finance. I'm going to give it a shot this evening, since they are open until 10pm.

I checked out listing prices of similar houses in my area online. There really aren't any I feel comfortable comparing with (ex: they have a garage, I don't; I have lake rights, they don't; more bedrooms or bathrooms...) but their asking prices are reasonable to sell my house for. Are they actually selling at or near these prices, or selling at all? I don't know yet.

It looks like, despite working my butt off for the last 3 years to pay this mortgage, scrimping and saving in all other areas, I might have to sell it. The silver lining? Houses in my area don't sell in the winter (lake community). Once I sell it, I will have to go back to renting. That is a HUGE step backwards in my mind, but I will do what I have to for my kids, and to keep them in the school district we live in now.

Thank you everyone for the advice and support, and if you have anything to add, please do.

 

[momoftwins]

I have no clue your financial status, but have you heard of the HARP program? It is a way for some to refinance to a lower rate even if their home is worth less than their mortgage. I have no other details and have no idea if it fits your situation. Not every bank offers it, but maybe worth looking into.

Here are a few links:

This one has a few questions about the program:
http://www.zillow.com/advice-thread...-Home-Affordability-Refinance-Program/230084/

Here is the MakeAffordableHousing link that discusses this program:

http://www.makinghomesaffordable.gov/

Good luck, OP.