How can I get a copy of my husband's cell phone bill?

[N&B'smom]

Boy is your post timely. I received our cell phone bill this week. The bill is joint with my husband and I since we share minutes. Typically, our bill is around $100, we never go over our minutes and in fact have way too many. Well, this bill was $343!

First I called Sprint to see if there was a problem with our plan. Nextel and Sprint had recently merged so I thought maybe there was an issue with that. Nope, he said we had just used a lot more minutes this month.

Sprint has a feature that you can down load and do an anaylsis of the bill. Which I used to try to figure out what was going on. I found out that my husband and another woman had called each other 157 times during the month! I was floored.

Now are marriage is in shambles, we were already having problems. I could go back one year and this has been going on the entire time. The reason I noticed it this month is we are doing some major renovations with lots of calls to Lowes, contractors, etc. I knew they talked, but I didn't think anything about it.

My husband plays in the band at our church and she is the leader, so I knew they called to discuss things, and our families did things together. Our kids are close to the same age. Wow was I a fool!

So, here I am at 4:10 in the morning unable to sleep. My point is go for it sister and maybe you can nip in the bud! Don't be a trusting fool like I was.

Just thought you could use a big hug!!!! That's just a shame. Hope things work out for you!

Shelby

 

[KadysMom]

Why wont he let you see it? What is he hiding?

 

[Buckalew11]

I echo many thoughts here. This is so sad (also the post from TallyLassie~ hugs to her!)
I just don't get the "He's on to you" statement.
HE"S on to YOU??! No, YOU'RE on to HIM!!!
So often, men who cheat want to make the wife feel like she is going crazy for thinking something is wrong with their relationship (and the ol' "it is all in your head" crap) and they turn things around and make it YOUR fault instead of THEIR fault--they are cheating while still married. (I am sure this goes both ways as DHs and DWs go, I just talk to more women about it than men and there seems to be a set pattern!)

Good luck, OP. I am sorry he has done this.

 

[mrsltg]

Oh boy -you've set off the woman-radar! I agree with all of the other posters - you need to see the bill. Ask him for it. Tell him not only do you want to see this month's bill, but you want a 12 month history. You have a suspicion for a reason and you should be able to see these bills. Anytime a bill like that is missing it's a red flag. Get the bill - immediately.


Good luck!

 

[RitaZ.]

Since he is "on to you" why not tell him that you absolutely positively want to see the current bill and he better show it to you? Tell him if he hides it- you will assume he has to hide something.

OP,I think this is what you should do.

Just be honest about it. Good luck.

 

[PhotobearSam]

You can go to the post office and have the mail HELD for a few days and that way you can pick it up when you want to...

I did that for a birthday present for DH and since he is always checking the mail, I had to do that so he would still have a surprise for his B-day.

i hope this workd out for you. If you are suspicious, there is probably a problem.

As oprah says...(quoted from another site)
"you need to listen to every whisper, every intuitive feeling, every feeling. If you do not listen to the whisper, you will then get a message, and if you don't pay attention to the message, you will get a crisis, and eventually if you ignore that you will get a disaster. The first hint of fear, the first whisper that something is out of order, pay attention! "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

You have had a whisper (you sensed something was up), you have the brick upside the head (he won't give you the phone bill), don't wait for the brick wall or entire building to fall on you.


We should all listen to our instincts more and really listen when we hear something wrong.

Hugs...

 

[KristiKelly]

Good luck with getting it but I'd have to ask him "what are you on to?". I agree with others, if he doesn't show you then that is your answer.

 

[Poohnatic]

I have to agree 100% with what Samantha said (smart woman, there). Before cell phones, I had a cheating husband and the phone bill I got days after we split was chilling. I got the whisper, the brick, the crisis AND the disaster.

If he's got nothing to hide, then he'll show you the cell phone bill you now will ask for. If not, that's your answer.

I've been where you are right now, and I should have kicked him out. However, what happened paved the way to a stronger me (and an awesome second husband).

Suzanne

 

[LJRJR]

How about getting his cell phone (when he is asleep) and looking at his calls? You should be able to see a list of calls made, and if there is nothing there, he has deleted them. I know is it not a "true list" of all calls made, but it is a start. Good luck .

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

Jeez. You people are SMART! I wouldn't have thought of half this stuff. I also agree with Samantha. That's a great idea. OP, this sucks for you. Keep us updated. You're in my thoughts.

 

[floridafam]

I would try to get the bill from him or from the company or through the mail before he "loses" his cell phone and has to get a new one. Then you might not get to see the bill.

I'm not sure how I would approach it. You've already got reason to ask him for the bill. How did you find out he and the other woman were talking? Was it for work? I guess the particulars of the situation would dictate how I went forward.

Good luck.

 

[grlpwrd]

If he's got nothing to hide, then he'll show you the cell phone bill you now will ask for. If not, that's your answer.

True.

If you have to go cloak and dagger on him, then I think that is very indicative.

GL to you!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sorry for you OP, but just the fact that he has his account passworded and is keeping his cellphone bills away from you tells me that you simply do not have a marriage.

 

[Nancyg56]

This happened to a dear friend of mine a few years ago. She had to be sneaky, but she got it.

She called the customer service number and asked for a copy, said she lost the first one and needed to pay bills. It took her a few times to get to the most gullible rep. on the phone who would do it without all the correct information (she didn't have his password), but it worked.

Paid off in the end too, alimony is nice.

My DS works for a cell phone company and I have spent years in a call center, my last position as a QA analyst. Please try another means of checking up on your DH. Tricking a rep can cost the person their job as the information is private. If the husband complains that a person not authorized was able to gain access to his account it will not be good for the rep.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I was just wondering where you'd disappeared to!

I have been in your EXACT shoes.

In my case, I was the one who originally set up the cell phone service for our business.

When I quit, he never took my name off it. I called them one day and told them I needed to straighten out a problem and they faxed it over to me.

And boy did I find a problem.

 

[hentob]

You can go to the post office and have the mail HELD for a few days and that way you can pick it up when you want to...

Wow. I would have never though of that You are good!

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I think I would want to catch him as apposed to approaching him. I wouldn't want to deal with possible lies. I believe lieing & cheating go hand in hand. I wouldn't want him to know I was checking either. Even if that means hiring someone to follow him and take pictures. I'd get a good lawyer and blindside him.

I agree. I caught him though, and still dealt with lies. Lying and cheating, very much goes hand in hand.

If I would have approached him first, who knows how much further it would have gone, and how much more hurt he would have put my family through.

I had a sinking suspicion something was going on, and I was right. I had a right to know and it was the only way I could go about finding out, without hiring a PI.

 

[Kath2003]

How about talking to your husband? Deception isn't the way forward (especially since this is what you're accusing him of!).

 

[sugarpie]

I totally understand why you want to see the bill. You want the proof in your hands.

He's obviously been lying, and why should he start telling the truth now?

If he won't show you the bill there's a reason.

So sorry.

 

[Maggimus]

DH used to have Sprint and his password was always the last 4 of his social-- i think this is pretty standard.. if it isnt the last 4 of his social then it is his birthday 033019-- (or something similar)