How about design for the WORST Disney Resort

[Ned Land]

Disney's Grand Iraqian Resort & Spa
"Come enjoy yourself after a day of torture..."

Walt Disney World Piranha Hotel
Walt Disney World Shark Hotel
Walt Disney World Anaconda Hotel
(owned by Starwood)

Hollywood Hotel Tower of Terror

Disney's Ethiopian Village Resort

Terrorist Towers Resort & Spa

The Disney Insane Institute

 

[Texian@WDW]

Ned Land:

You may have figured out a way to capture Sadaam! Let's tell the U.S. Military!

 

[Donnainnj]

Trashiest Trailer Park, Daily Tornados and weddings only offered if you are related

 

[BarbaraMB]

These are SO GREAT! I'm jealous that I can't think of one just yet.

 

[delikado]

Disney's Trashy Trailer Park and Lodge:

Individual "rooms" are actually trailers connected by elegant asphalt walkways. Each guest room has its own porta-potty and coin-deposit shower. Personal pools are available for rent, and can be inflated at the gas station down the road. Garden hoses are provided for filling pools with water. Dining options include: Toothless Tammy's Sausage Shack, Ye Drunk Bum Saloon, and Wanted: Dead or Alive Dinner Show. Transportation is not included. (Bus stop is approx. 3 miles from camp site.)


Disney's Suburbia Village Home Away from Home Resort:

Loosely based on the movie "Pleasantville," guest rooms are located in a series of houses separated by white picket fences and finely manicured lawns. Enjoy all the amenities that a upper middle class home can offer, including wholesome kitchens with linoleum floors, state-of-the-art entertainment systems (including gramophone and black & white TV) and even a cozy porch swing for relaxing after a long day at the parks. Dining options include: Mom & Pop Malt Shoppe, Burger Cottage, and Ernesto's Pizza Parlor. Transportation is provided for each house, with a choice of a Dodge Neon, or Caravan for larger families.

 

[philaround]

How about a roach motel theme. Each building is round and only 3 feet high with 4 units per building and you have to crawl in on hands and knees.

 

[ChairborneRangr]

Castaway Quay Resort

Everyone has their own small island to be marooned on. Each island comes supplied with a number of FedEx boxes filled with random items, a few coconuts, and a soccer ball. The guest must make his/her own boat to sail to the transportation network in hopes that they actually get rescued. Each night it starts all over again.

Oh yeah, you must sign a full waiver as well as change the benefitiary on your life insurance over to Disney.

 

[erikthewise]

delikado, I love your ideas! At the Trailer Park, instead of renting a surrey bike, you should be able to rent a Harley and drive it around the resort, annoying the he** out of the other guests.

My second offering:

Disney's Turnabout Value Resort

Guests can stay for only $49 a night, but must earn their keep by waiting hand-and-foot on Cast Members. Guests will cook their meals, clean their rooms, pick up their trash, listen to their endless minor complaints, continually attempt to reshuffle room assignments to assuage their concerns over the inadequacies of their current rooms, etc., all while smiling and saying "Have a magical day!" over and over and over. Cast Members who are not satisfied with the level of service provided by a particular Guest can issue a demerit which increases the room rate by $50 per demerit.

Concierge Guests however, will earn their keep by giving massages, pedicures, and other spa treatments to Cast Members in the College Program.

 

[Hnymoon@Dixie]

My suggestion is the reality show resort.
Choose from buildings like......

AMERICAN IDOL, where audition music is pumped into your room from every lousey idol wanna-be ever! Earplugs not included....

How about the Survivor building where you get no showers, no toilets and have to compete for your meals. All while wearing one of those ugly bandana thingies!

What about the Temptation Island resort...100 supermodels lying around the pool waiting to steal your husband away!

How about the Amazing race hotel where you show up, get a clue & aren't allowed back until you ride every attraction WDW has!

The real world hotel is where you book your family in but when you get there have to live with 7 complete strangers while your vacation is taped.

The trading spaces resort. Get there & redecorate a guestroom.........vacation? What vacation????... get to work!

There's the lovely Jamie Kennedy experiment hotel, you book thinking your going to play jokes on the cast members, but the joke is on you!! You have to stay in one of the OTHER reality hotels just mentioned!

I was going to get into the "dating" reality spoofs, but this is a family site.

 

[travelbug]

How about "Disney's Brady Bunch Resort"? The resort is a collection of 9 buildings themed for each one of the main characters.

The Greg building would have psychedelic painted walls, a disco ball on the ceiling of each room, and beads hanging in each doorway. Groovy music ("Clowns never laughed before; beanstalks never grew...")would be playing over the in-room stereo system 24 hrs. a day.

The Marcia building would have everything in pastel colors with daisies and daffodils for accents. The bedspreads would be wrinkleproof and the room would somehow keep itself clean at all times. Guests in this building would have beautiful lakefront views from every room.

The Jan building would have ultra-tiny rooms furnished with old cast-off furniture from the Marcia building. The rooms would all have an obstructed view, with the Marcia building being the obstruction of course. This building would not be air-conditioned, in order to save budget dollars for annually upgrading the Marcia building.

The Alice building would have a desk staff required to tell at least 2 corny jokes per minute. The guests would have no housekeeping privileges, but would rather need to clean their own rooms. The guests in this building would have the opportunity to regularly invite themselves along on other guests' trips and outings to the parks.

Haven't planned the other 5 buildings yet, but it's a start.

 

[meuseman]

travelbug...

Howabout the Mike Brady Building for families with temper tantrum-prone kids. CM's would give long-winded, hard to follow rationalizations for better behavior. and they would refer to vevery woman as "Mrs. Brady"

 

[ChairborneRangr]

and EVERY building would have that same dated early 70's look of the brady house.

All guests would have to get family photos along the main entry staircase...

It would be a perfect fit with Future World in EPCOT.

 

[travelbug]

Good ideas for the Brady Resort! Okay, I have a couple more images.

The Cindy building will have a Kitty Carryall doll in each room. The furniture will be smaller versions of the furnishings in the Marcia building. The CMs will spy on all guests, eavesdrop on people's conversations, tell everyone's secrets to total strangers, and then tattle to the resort manager. The bell staff will tap dance through the hallways singing "On the Good Ship Lollipop."

The Carol building will be staffed with CMs that must consult with the CMs in the Mike building before making any decisions. Guests who arrive with children in tow will be assigned a complimentary maid to provide all child care and do all grunt work so that the lady of the family will have no responsibilities. The pride and joy of the Carol building is the hair salon on the first floor, where guests can request the famous Carol Brady 'do.

I need to get a grip. These Brady ideas are coming way too easily!

 

[Lovetherodent]

In honor of my clergy dh (we wouldn't want him not to feel at home in WDW), how about "Lutheran Lodge"

Features an authentic church basement themed restaraunt with a famous, or infamous, "salad luncheon". Offers salads in a different colored Jello every day of the week. The place is spotless, but it still has that basement aroma (probably comes from that old, orange carpet).

CMs are instructed not to smile or invade the personal space of any guest. If necessary, one can offer a stiff handshake. Otherwise, a nod is a sufficient greeting. CMs are from the "post-retirement" program rather than the college student summer jobs gig.

All guests are crowded into rooms at the back of the lodge, near the bus stop so people can sneak out quickly.

Of course, this is a "value" resort.

 

[audflash]

WDW AllStar Politics resort.

The rooms are decorated very conservatively but have hidden cameras and microphones - even in the bathrooms!

The restaurants are all 5 star - but don't worry - you can charge all your meals to the Congressional pension fund.

All of the CM's are current or former politicians - Concierge rooms come with a former US Senator.

Don't miss the fireside chats with old washed up Congressmen.

Be sure to get your free cigars!

 

[epcotfan]

How about a resort with a restaurant called MONTEZUMA'S REVENGE?

 

[ChairborneRangr]

As long as the resaurant has no bathrooms