Hotel Prom Death

Right. We can argue over whether or not we would let our son and daughter go out with a parent we don't know some other time. For this specific topic, the two mothers knew each other. The two mothers spoke on the phone. One mother asked the other if the daughter could sleep over at her house. The girl's mother said no. The boy's mother still had them stay at a hotel. Now my question is this. Would you, as an adult and parent, do what the boy's mother did? If you were the girl's mother, would you take offense at what was done by boy's mother?

This is what it boils down to. The boys mother is criminally negligent and should be charged, convicted and jailed for her part in this.

To answer the question, I would be sure to get the girl home when requested to do so, and if the girl refused, I would get in touch with her mother to let her know that. Simple, really.
 
I'm all for raising kids in a way that equips them to handle their lives independently. I do think it's kind of disingenuous to insist that a 17 year old got her just desserts for making unwise choices when those choices were substantially enabled by an adult providing the hotel room -- something the 17 year old was unable to do on her own.

If the 17 year old got her just desserts (death), what about the date and his mother, do they deserve anything for their choices, or are they entitled to walk away blameless since the boyfriend was fortunate enough to wake up? IMO I'll assess the girl her penalty as justly deserved, but I think the boyfriend and his mother should give their pound of flesh for their poor choices also -- they're old enough to face the consequences for their choices also.
 
So you do depend on other parents for the safety of your 17 year old.

didn't know this was pick on one poster day.

You are comparing apples to oranges and you know it. I don't depend on them anymore than I depend on the worker at the water plant to correctly put the right chemical in or the bus driver to not drive impaired.

Big difference in expecting other parents to babysit my 17 yr old and you know it.

I expect my 17 yr old to be responsible for themselves and not have to be babysat. Nor do I babysit other 17 yr olds.
 

Like I told Hannathy, I do know them.

And if I picked the girl up, I know where I got her. So if I didn't have their number, I would go to their house. I wouldn't just leave the girl in the dangerous situation.

We live in an area where if I don't have a kid's parent's number, I can find someone that does. We all pretty much know each other in some way or form.




And all of this is immaterial anyway--the mom in the OP DID know how to tell the girl's mom. There is no question of that.

You are the one who brought up letting a girl get into a car with a bunch of guys so while it may be immaterial, you brought it in to the discussion.

By letting the girl go and driving to her house you are actually leaving in her in what you consider a dangerous situation.
I think its great that you live in an area where most people know most people, that isn't the case here.
When I bring my dd somewhere its usually to meet up with some friends, sometimes I drive but its usually for the ones that live very close and parent's I know anyway. Alot of the times though when I pick her up, there are other kids that may need a ride so I'll take them home. But, if I saw her friend get in to a car with a bunch of people, I probably wouldn't assume its a dangerous situation so there would be no need to do anything (unless they were visibly drunk or high).

And nobody said this girl got her "just desserts", she certainly didn't deserve to die because she made a foolish decision. That isn't to say she isn't responsible for the decision she chose to make though. There is quite a difference.
As far as the mother, if she is found to have provided the alcohol and drugs then of course she should be help legally responsible. If all she did was rent a room and not drive the girl home, then I see no reason for her to be punished. Of course since we live in a society where it's always someone elses fault I'm sure there will be many who disagree and since they sit on juries I'm sure she doesn't stand a change of not being charged and prosecuted for something.
 
Here's where I stand. I don't know if the boy's man is going to be held legally responsible in any part for the girl's death. That will depend on whether or not she bought the alcohol and/or drugs. Morally, though, I do believe she holds some responsibility, just as the girl holds responsibility for what happened. And, unfortunately, the girl paid for her choices with her life. What I also know is this: Even if the girl hadn't died, if I were a parent of a child the same age as these kids, I would think twice before letting my child do anything with this boy. His mother has shown very poor judgement and a complete disregard for the wishes of the parents of other children.
 
You are the one who brought up letting a girl get into a car with a bunch of guys so while it may be immaterial, you brought it in to the discussion.

By letting the girl go and driving to her house you are actually leaving in her in what you consider a dangerous situation.
I think its great that you live in an area where most people know most people, that isn't the case here.
When I bring my dd somewhere its usually to meet up with some friends, sometimes I drive but its usually for the ones that live very close and parent's I know anyway. Alot of the times though when I pick her up, there are other kids that may need a ride so I'll take them home. But, if I saw her friend get in to a car with a bunch of people, I probably wouldn't assume its a dangerous situation so there would be no need to do anything (unless they were visibly drunk or high).

And nobody said this girl got her "just desserts", she certainly didn't deserve to die because she made a foolish decision. That isn't to say she isn't responsible for the decision she chose to make though. There is quite a difference.
As far as the mother, if she is found to have provided the alcohol and drugs then of course she should be help legally responsible. If all she did was rent a room and not drive the girl home, then I see no reason for her to be punished. Of course since we live in a society where it's always someone elses fault I'm sure there will be many who disagree and since they sit on juries I'm sure she doesn't stand a change of not being charged and prosecuted for something.

It was in response to Hannathy's not being responsible for other's children, ever.

I would be leaving the girl as she drove away (which I said she did in my example anyway), but I would be doing something. And I would definitely do something.

I wouldn't let the girl ride away and I would not have let this girl just stay at the hotel when I know she wasn't supposed to. I could not hog tie her and put her in the car, but I would alert her parent. My example and the situation here would result in my same action.


This girl's death is not 100% the fault of this woman, it IS her fault that the girl did not go home as instructed or that her mother was not alerted to the fact that she refused to go home. Its not a matter of "everything is someone else's fault" its a matter of putting responsibility where it belongs.

The fault of minors having alcohol belongs with the person who bought it. The responsibility of their having the pills is with wherever they got them. The responsibility of drinking the alcohol and taking the pills belong with the kids. The girl not going home and the mother not being aware that she wasn't coming home, is the fault of the boy's mother.
 
From Hyatt's website:

How old must I be to reserve a room?
Generally, the minimum age to reserve a guestroom at Hyatt is 21 years old. However, this age may vary by hotel. Please check the specific policy of the hotel you plan to visit. A person of the minimum age requirement must be present at check-in and become a registered guest in the room.

So apparently the mother may very well NOT have had the right to reserve this room for her son's and his girlfriend's use; although it says it varies by hotel, most hotels I've encountered won't rent a room to an under-21 year old. Too much liability, specifically because of the drinking age being 21. (This is how it's been explained to us by Hilton, Hyatt, Sheraton, and Marriott. DD travels a lot for auditions and won't be 21 until September, so it's always a huge hassle to find a place for her to stay.)

I keep coming back to the fact that the girl's mom told the boy's mom that the girl could not stay over at their house and to bring her home. That seems pretty clear to me. Coupled with the fact that the boy's mom more than likely should have been in the room she rented (and by doing so agrees to the hotel's terms… over 21 in room and all), I'd say the boy's mom has some huge liability issues here, regardless of how the kids got the booze and pills.
 
The girl not going home and the mother not being aware that she wasn't coming home, is the fault of the boy's mother.


And again how is this the mothers fault? the girl could have went home anytime she wanted or called her mother, she didn't. Unless the boys mother dragged her home if the girl refused there is nothing she could have done. And calling the Mom is in the realm of babysitting, and not something most people do with 17 yr olds.

If the prom was at the hotel, why would the kids have even been back with the mother after being dropped off?
 
You are the one who brought up letting a girl get into a car with a bunch of guys so while it may be immaterial, you brought it in to the discussion.

By letting the girl go and driving to her house you are actually leaving in her in what you consider a dangerous situation.
I think its great that you live in an area where most people know most people, that isn't the case here.
When I bring my dd somewhere its usually to meet up with some friends, sometimes I drive but its usually for the ones that live very close and parent's I know anyway. Alot of the times though when I pick her up, there are other kids that may need a ride so I'll take them home. But, if I saw her friend get in to a car with a bunch of people, I probably wouldn't assume its a dangerous situation so there would be no need to do anything (unless they were visibly drunk or high).

And nobody said this girl got her "just desserts", she certainly didn't deserve to die because she made a foolish decision. That isn't to say she isn't responsible for the decision she chose to make though. There is quite a difference.
As far as the mother, if she is found to have provided the alcohol and drugs then of course she should be help legally responsible. If all she did was rent a room and not drive the girl home, then I see no reason for her to be punished. Of course since we live in a society where it's always someone elses fault I'm sure there will be many who disagree and since they sit on juries I'm sure she doesn't stand a change of not being charged and prosecuted for something.

How much more responsibility would you like the girl to take for her foolish decision? She made bad choices, she paid the ultimate penalty.

As far as the room rental not meriting any consequences, I disagree. Obviously the prom couple were unable to complete that transaction themselves. Supposedly the hotel room wasn't the plan disclosed to the girls' mother. She was asked if the girl could spend the night at the boys' home, said no & they would be home in a couple hours. If the plan was really for them to spend the night at the boy's home, why was the hotel room necessary at all? Call me crazy, but I hear crickets.

The mother clearly understood the intent of the hotel room & enabled the plan to go forward. Unfortunately the consequences were harsh. The girl is owning up to her responsibility. I will grant you that acceptance was undoubtedly without her consent. Why is it the date's mother shouldn't be expected to accept responsibility for the unfortunately harsh consequences her choice wrought? Surely she's old enough to have consciously understood that sometimes the worst happens, yet she decided to take that chance. If she was also providing the transportation I find it a little difficult to believe they were able to smuggle the alcohol past her without her knowledge. Other substances, no problem. But I find it difficult to believe she was unaware of the alcohol, and that both were underage for that as well.
 
And again how is this the mothers fault? the girl could have went home anytime she wanted or called her mother, she didn't. Unless the boys mother dragged her home if the girl refused there is nothing she could have done. And calling the Mom is in the realm of babysitting, and not something most people do with 17 yr olds.

If the prom was at the hotel, why would the kids have even been back with the mother after being dropped off?

It's babysitting to alert a mom that the 17 y/o they requested to be brought home has decided instead to go to the hotel you rented? Hmmm, I don't think so.
 
And again how is this the mothers fault? the girl could have went home anytime she wanted or called her mother, she didn't. Unless the boys mother dragged her home if the girl refused there is nothing she could have done. And calling the Mom is in the realm of babysitting, and not something most people do with 17 yr olds.

If the prom was at the hotel, why would the kids have even been back with the mother after being dropped off?

I would agree with the babysitting if the mother had not been told, very clearly, to bring the girl home. She knew very well the girl did not have permission to be there.

She picked them up and then they called the girl's mother. Obviously the boy's mom never took them from the hotel and rented the room or she took them back to the hotel and rented the room. She was with the girl after the prom.

I am not sure where you get "most" people. I don't know a single parent that would not call or alert the other parent in this situation. It would be one thing if it was all said to the girl, but it was said to the mom.
 
If the mother hadn't rented the room, the exact same thing could have happened anywhere. Kids are going to do what they're going to do. Not that the boy's mother isn't somewhat responsible, but the kids had a plan and would have followed through, with or without the room.

The part I really don't understand is how the girl's mom wasn't on the phone to EVERYONE throughout the night. I'm sure the girl had a phone, the boy's mother obviously had a phone, the boyfriend, all the girl's friends, the police, the hotel where the prom was held (same one as the rented room), other parents. How do you wait all night and not do anything? I think I read that the boy didn't even call the police until 11:00 the next morning! HUH??????
 
If the account at the start of this thread is anywhere near accurate, the boyfriend's mother had no problem getting on the phone to request the girl spend the night at their home. Yet somehow it would be overstepping into babysitting territory to contact the girl's mother and let her know if her daughter had refused for the boyfriend's mother to take her home as requested?
 
If the mother hadn't rented the room, the exact same thing could have happened anywhere. Kids are going to do what they're going to do. Not that the boy's mother isn't somewhat responsible, but the kids had a plan and would have followed through, with or without the room.

The part I really don't understand is how the girl's mom wasn't on the phone to EVERYONE throughout the night. I'm sure the girl had a phone, the boy's mother obviously had a phone, the boyfriend, all the girl's friends, the police, the hotel where the prom was held (same one as the rented room), other parents. How do you wait all night and not do anything? I think I read that the boy didn't even call the police until 11:00 the next morning! HUH??????

Absolutely could have happened elsewhere, which begs the question why the mother enabled it? That's on her.

I do not understand the inaction of the girl's mother either. This is a situation where it merits phone calls hoping not to find out your kid is dead in a ditch somewhere.
 
If the mother hadn't rented the room, the exact same thing could have happened anywhere. Kids are going to do what they're going to do. Not that the boy's mother isn't somewhat responsible, but the kids had a plan and would have followed through, with or without the room.

The part I really don't understand is how the girl's mom wasn't on the phone to EVERYONE throughout the night. I'm sure the girl had a phone, the boy's mother obviously had a phone, the boyfriend, all the girl's friends, the police, the hotel where the prom was held (same one as the rented room), other parents. How do you wait all night and not do anything? I think I read that the boy didn't even call the police until 11:00 the next morning! HUH??????

I think the "well, they're going to do it anyway" line of thinking is how you end up with moms renting rooms for their kids on prom night. I've never had a problem telling my kids "I don't care if everyone is doing it".

I'm also perplexed on why the mom let it go as long as she did. That is really a missing bit of info here. Maybe she's just pushover and never follows through on what she says, which could be why the girl thought she could get away with a last minute plan of staying over at the BF's house. I can't get over leaving a huge piece of the planning until the last minute, which leads me to believe the girl thought she stood a better chance at the last minute. But I do think if the mother had gone looking or called the police, her daughter might be alive today.

As for the boy not calling..... I'd imagine he was hung over and didn't wake up until then.



Absolutely could have happened elsewhere, which begs the question why the mother enabled it? That's on her.

I do not understand the inaction of the girl's mother either. This is a situation where it merits phone calls hoping not to find out your kid is dead in a ditch somewhere.

She'll have to live with that the rest of her life. I shared this story with my 13 year old daughter this morning. And I assured her I would have called the police.
 
I read most of this thread, so I don't know if anyone brought up this point...what if the girl was too wasted to contact her mom?

Trust me, as the mom of 3 young adults (a whole bunch of proms under our belts), I would've been calling or texting my dd if I hadn't heard from her "in a couple of hours."
 
It's entirely possible that the girl's mother also fell asleep even if she was waiting up. Some people just cannot stay up really late, even if they try to. And I'm sure that if that is what happened, she will be haunted by it for the rest of her life.

I agree with Cabanafrau re: the world of trouble that the boyfriend's mother is in. Whether or not it could have happened anywhere else, the fact is that THIS TIME, it happened in a place where they were only able to be due to her intervention. She rented the room and gave them access to it, AND she aided and abetted the girl in lying to her mother re: her whereabouts. She is definitely going to be facing CDM charges. Depending on local ordinances, she may also face civil liabilities.
 
Absolutely could have happened elsewhere, which begs the question why the mother enabled it? That's on her.

I do not understand the inaction of the girl's mother either. This is a situation where it merits phone calls hoping not to find out your kid is dead in a ditch somewhere.

There really is no way to know that but since we are all speculating about what we think happened and why I'll give an example.
There are many parents who would rather their children do what they are going to do in a safe environment. Assuming she knew they were going to party, maybe she thought since they had a room at the hotel they wouldn't be out wandering the streets or getting to cars of other kid's who have been drinking.
Assuming she got the room for other purposes, maybe her and her ds were open about sex and she knew about their plans and it didn't bother her.

I was checking for updates and saw what I had missed before, the girl was on the phone with her mother asking if they could go eat, I thought the boy's mom informed the girl's mom that they were going to eat. We don't know the answer she got but I'll assume "yes" since after the mom talked to the boys mom she said "I gave them a couple hours" and then they didn't show up. Anyway, who knows what the girl told the boy's mom, maybe she told her that her mom was okay with her hanging out in a hotel room. There is way too much info missing, for all we know the boy and girl called his mom and said "I called my mom and she's okay with me spending the night in the hotel". Some of you seem to be under the impression that a teen can't be so devious as to cook up a plan to stay out all night partying. You don't need an adult to aid and abet you to do that.

I wouldn't check up on that would any of you?
 
Officials await autopsy in MacArthur HS prom...
Police are still waiting for autopsy results on 17-year-old Jacqueline Gomez. They say she stayed at the Hyatt...


Related Stories
Teen girl found dead in hotel after Aldine ISD prom
A series of text messages offered new details into the death of Jacqueline Gomez, the 17-year-old Aldine ISD senior found dead Saturday in a Houston motel room the morning after her prom. The texts, sent from an account identified as Gomez's date, also indicate investigators believe the girl probably overdosed.

The date hasn't spoken publicly since Gomez was found dead and he could not be reached for comment on Monday. In text messages to a friend of Gomez, however, he recounted his attempts to wake her and his reactions when she did not.

Yet nobody can be certain how the MacArthur High School student died until autopsy results are complete - which could take several weeks, the Harris County medical examiner said. And that has the date and Gomez's family and friends anxiously waiting for the mystery to be solved.

Meanwhile, her friends and family refute any suggestion that Gomez was ever a "party girl," saying she spent most of her time working at a Kroger grocery and preparing to graduate in June.

Her mother, Juana Barron, says waiting is the hardest job of all, as she finds what happened to her daughter unimaginable and unexplainable. Authorities have cautioned her against talking about the case until the evidence has been gathered, she said.

The date sent the text messages late Saturday afternoon, seven hours after he woke up in North Houston Hyatt room that he shared with Gomez. He found her not breathing.

"He was posting pictures of himself crying on Instagram. So I a sent him a text that day to ask what had happened to my girl," said Justice Gonzalez, a close friend of Gomez who saw the couple leave the prom together Friday night to go to that room. Authorities report Gomez was found dead in her bed about 9:20 the next morning.

"They said she overdosed," part of the text reads, likely referring to law enforcement officials.

He went on.

"I woke up. I tried waking her but she wouldn't," the date texted back, adding four frowning faces. "I was screaming and crying telling her to wake up. But she didn't. She didn't," He ended his text with two frowning faces with tears.

He stated she had appeared "perfectly fine and happy" when they left the "Miami Night" prom. She also seemed "happy" when they both went to sleep, he said.

He had told authorities that they had some alcohol, but said in a text to the friend that Gomez had also taken the painkiller hydrocodone.

He denied knowing where she got the prescription drug and stated, "I shoulda took them away and flushed em (frowning face with tear). I miss my girl."

When asked how many pills she consumed, he said, "I have no clue."

Gonzalez said she had never seen Gomez take or talk about taking any drugs.

"She had met her prom date in middle school. He was a couple of years older and no longer a student there," Gonzalez said. "I remember telling her to be careful when she started to leave."

The date told Gonzalez that the alcohol and pills weren't consumed until the couple went up to their room. But Gonzalez said she noticed Gomez acting "different" before she left the prom while her date appeared to act normally.

"She was stuttering, not talking clear. Her eyes were low, like she was dizzy," Gonzalez said.

On the date's Instagram site, he put a picture of a broken heart and vowed his date "would not be forgotten."

"I'm blessed for everyday God still gives me," he added at the end.

On Monday afternoon, Gomez's friends and co-workers held a fundraiser at the Kroger where she once worked to help raise money for her funeral.

"Everybody keeps twisting up the story. But I can tell you she wasn't a party girl," said Sydney Santiago-Reed, who helped sell hotdogs and other food.

Gomez's body had no outward signs of injury, authorities said after the autopsy was performed Monday. The results of other tests are pending.

Source: http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Texts-hint-girl-may-have-overdosed-after-prom-5490654.php
 












Receive up to $1,000 in Onboard Credit and a Gift Basket!
That’s right — when you book your Disney Cruise with Dreams Unlimited Travel, you’ll receive incredible shipboard credits to spend during your vacation!
CLICK HERE







New Posts







DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest DIS Tiktok DIS Twitter DIS Bluesky

Back
Top