This is going to hurt.
I'm warning you ahead of time, it's gonna hurt.
I have learned a long time ago that if I do karaoke, sing for myself, not for others.
Not everyone is going to like my song choices, or even my voice for that matter, so I don't worry about it.
The same rules apply to writing.
I write for myself, first, and if I make myself laugh, then my work is done.
It's done better if others laugh too, of course.
So.....
You have been WARNED!
First things first;
I have mentioned many times of my hatred for dolls. And the "Talking Tina" doll from the Twilight Zone ranks right up there.
You are about to experience the reason that Justified fear has not diminished over the ages. "Ages" being from when that Twilight Zone episode aired, up to the ripe old age of 53.
I wan't you to meet what I have had to come face to face with every morning, sitting on the shelf at the bottom of the staircase. And if I move it, Diane just puts it back and makes fun of me.
God, I hope it's Diane that's moving it back.
There was a time once when I saw it early, then on my way back down from the bathroom, ten minutes later, it was totally moved.
And I was the only one up that morning.
Diane said it must have been the vibrations on the staircase.
Yeah, right.
She hates me!
Meet Howdy Doody!
Hey, don't blame me if that image wakes you up in the middle of the night, blame Diane.
Yeah, Ol' Howdy almost made me do Doody on more than a couple of occasions.
By the way, that picture came from my DIGITAL CAMERA!
You can put it on the boarrrrrd, YES!
gee, hope it works here.
Wednsday, Animal Kingdom, EMH night.
That morning I woke up mumbling Dawa Bar to myself, and wondering why.
Took me about an hour to remember and I told Di that we are supposed to meet John, Jill and Kim there around five.
So we are doing the split stay again, and we are driving.
Sometimes the worst waits for busses is around 11 in the morning, it seems that's when all the busses take their nap, so why risk sitting there, we'll just drive. Plus, we have our AAA Diamond Card, which entitles us to "special parking' at all the parks.
We got the card on the may trip, and it's only supposed to be used for that trip. But hey, the expiration date says Dec. 31, and who am I to argue with and expiration date.
(gee, hope my birth certificate doesn't have one, THEN I'll argue.)
Our departure from the room met with an unexpected delay, however.
There, right at the end of the walkway on our floor is the "Mother Lode."
2 fully dressed brand spanking new housekeeper's carts.
And better yet, apparently, abandoned!
Diane went nuts.
We normally hang out the "do not disturb" sign, especially when we do split park stays a lot. Eventually, however, we need stuff. Then she's off usually scrambling.
BUt the MOTHER LODE, BABY! We won't need a maid for 3 days!
She grabs some TP, some Mickey shampoo, but the real ore strike was the garbage bags.
Now taking these made me feel a little bit guilty. Oh yes, we will use them, garbage always grows really well in our room, even without a south facing window.
I gave her a funny look when she ripped off 3 bags and handed them to me.
She said "Hey, they're just going to throw them out anyway."
Hmm, garbage,,, throw,,,, Boy, when she's right, she is RIGHT!
After stashing our booty, we were on our way.
At the gate we were told to follow the "green" line. Ah yes, the AAA, v.i.p. line, boy, do I feel special!
"What green line?"
On the side of the road, Diane pointed out to me a green line, which was right next to a blue one. So I started driving and just stared at the green line.
Man o man, that parking lot is HUGE!
After a while, the blue line made a left turn, but we kept on following the greeny. I think the blue line was just AA, or maybe even A or the rookie league, but we are still on the AAA path.
Finally we came to a folding stand up sign and an attendent, he pointed us to the first spot right next to him after checking our card again, and we parked. It was front row, but still a bit of a walk to the main entrance.
As a matter of fact, I could have gotten closer since it is still 15 minutes to rope drop, but hey, This is V.I.P. Parking, Baby!
You are now going to see the extent of how Christmassy Animal Kingdom gets.
Yep, that's about it.
With EMH tonight starting at six, we totally skipped getting any fastpasses for the day, no need to. So, for the first time in ages, we joined the rush to Kilimanjaro Safari.
I've never been much of a fan of this attraction. I think the whole "Big Red" and the poaching thing is stupid, and I really don't get much thrill out of seeing a giraffe 20 feet away, or I guess 5 feet away for that matter.
But it's been a while since we tried it, and at least you get to sit down for a while, which, with my foot acting up, was given high priority.
The thing is, with Diane, in the morning you had better be prepared to just about run. She sees a crowd heading for a ride and she just about panics. Oh yes, it's so important to be in the first truck, if we missed it might just as well go home.
Made the first truckload, sat near the back and I was panting.
Almost choked on my Slim Jim.
Inside the truck are a lot of little signs of critters all over the place, critters that we may or may not be able to view on this trip. I started reading them, so of course the truck then starts up. I'm a compulsive reader, once I start, I like to finish what ever it is. But it's really hard when your eyes are bouncing in your head.
I had started reading the plaque about wildebeast, also known as gnues.
Diane saw me.
"What are you reading?"
"Gnues"
"You're reading the news?"
"Yes."
She glanced at the sign, the sign said wildebeast, "Those are animals"
"Yes, gnues."
"Oh."
"Animals are news?"
"No, gnues are animals."
"Oh."
And I told her that they can run up to forty miles an hour.
"So, gnues travel fast?"
"Yes."
Also that when provoked and angry, they will sometimes charge a jeep.
"You're telling me that there are good gnues and bad gnues?"
"Yes."
The tour guide directed us to the left side of the truck then.
I asked her, "What's over there?"
"Just some a big cat sprawled out in the grass."
"Oh, a lyin' lion?"
"Yes."
At the end of our trip, I mentioned to her that we never did see a gnu.
"After what you told me about them," she said, "It sounds like no gnues is good gnues."
"Yes."
I know, we should be beaten.
Since I am not doing a feb trip report, AND, since I have gotten a little of the hang of that digital camera, I'm going to take some liberties here, and post some pics that were from february, cuz otherwise they are just going to sit there in cyberspace. Yes, I like to add the date to most of my pics, so you can tell which ones are from when.
A couple of random shots taken :
They do seem a little bit darker sitting in Pbucket then they did on my camera, not sure why that is. We'll see how they post.
Allright, it's time to confess again. Once again, we never did see Devine, I thought about it in the room, but once we got there it was totally out of both of our minds.
Again.
Before you all start calling me the ultimate dolt, can we fast forward to february once again? At least I will finally get this monkey, or monkweed, off my back.
Diane saw her first, and I had the camera up in a heartbeat.
In my joy, I still had the presence of mind to realize that by now, there's a good chance that no one will believe me, so I handed her the camera and told her to fire when I'm next to her.
I finally took it back to get a close up of her.
And there you have it. Mission finally accomplished. The only thing I can think of is that she can't be photographed with an old film type camera, it wasn't until I got the digital that she appeared.
After Safari we went to EE where I did a single rider line, then headed over to Finding Nebo, the Moronical.
I'll say it again, I love this show more every time I see it, Diane also.
I mean she loves it more every time also.
Wait, I do love her more all the time too.
I didn't mean....
Geesh! How do I get in these messes?
That was pretty much it for the morning. We walked back to the car and in a half hour were down by the pool. I have a fond spot in my stomach for this pool, even if it's down on my list. This is where Diane was once secretly attacked by a bird of prey while lying on her stomach. It was great fun to watch this big blackbird walk around on her back as she kept yelling at me to "Knock it Off!" See earlier trip report.
By four thirty we were at the bus stop, gonna let Disney take us back this time.
And we are PACKING!
"SunnyD?"
"Check."
"Little bottles of whiskey?"
"Check."
"Litle bottles of vodka?"
"Check."
And silently I'm going to myself, "Couple of vikes in the pocket?"
"Check."
Haven't had a drink or a pill all day. But meeting the Ohineys tonight, best be prepared for a lot of walking ,, or anything.
Diane led us to the Dawa Bar, no way I can find anything in that park, including Expedition Everest. We got our wrist bands at the gate, and it's already darking out.
On our way to the bar, John had already spotted us from a table on the veranda. (boy, I always wanted to be able to have to use that word)
He's over by a table yelling "Cold beer here, Getcha cold beer here."
They each had one and had already bought one for each of us.
Now, that's friends!
And trust.
Not like they would have gone to waste if we hadn't shown up though.
These things are huge! Whatever happened to the 12 ounce cup?
It was approaching six, so we decided to head over and take the train to Rafiki's Planet Watch, the Conservation Station, or whatever they call it now since they had never done it.
Caught the last train out there, and believe me, it was like getting to Six Flags right at closing time. Nobody was there, and I'm including workers.
Sorry, cast members.
Diane and I have done this a few times before, but now I just feel like an idiot for suggesting it. Normally, there is a girl holding a snake, talking about it and letting people pet it. Not today.
Even Diane said, "Where's the snake?"
"I don't know."
Finally I saw an employee, and I went up to him and asked him where the big pine snake is hiding. He told me that it's about ready to shed, it's skin is already flaking and he's really ornery.
Diane saw me talking to him, and asked me when I got back.
If you don't know where this is going, shame on you, for not knowing me.
It was just about handed to me on a silver platter, I just wish Jill and Kim hadn't just walked away at that time.
"So, what did the guy say?" Diane asked.
"He said he's suffering from Reptile Dysfunction."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah, he doesn't want to take it out, it's all flaky and squirmy, and just hates to be handled right now."
(ok, I'm throwing myself on the mercy of the posters now, PLEASE use extreme caution if you should quote that line, and the concept in which you quote it in. Remember, we don't want to have to say goodbye permanently yet to our Ol Uncle Nebo, I stll have a few days left.)
so to speak.
Honestly, this whole side trip was pretty much a waste of time. On the way back to the Dawa Bar, we side tracked to "The Screaming Kids" show, or as I think Melinda calls it, "The Tree of Tears."
Yes, I'm talking about "It's Tough to be a Bug." Scares the hell out of anyone younger than 6.
But tonight it was empty, I don't think there was 40 people in the whole theatre.
Soon we were back at the bar. John wanted to buy again, but for some reason I was able to talk him out of it.
Damn, he gives up easily!
We are going to leave this montage of misfits for the evening, hopefully, (Mod willing), we'll continue on shortly. goodnight, neebs
(hee hee)
I also love the phrase "Pigment of my Imagination". I'll have to start using that too - it's also difficult for me to look anything darker than a shade past pale!
Darn my luck. I should've just sent you a cell phone number but I'm not sure how you'd have called without, you know, a cell phone. (Yes, I know that they have phones at Disney but they're not free! 
)
Doesn't that just sum up life 
By the by, I have now got all my pictures from my digital in the confuser, that I, personally, put in MYSELF! 
