Home based "selling" parties etiquette question

[mumto3girls]

Definitely not rude. I admire you to sticking to your position. I have found myself in that situation and caved. Now I only go if I am fairly certain there will be something I am interested in--Tastefully Simple, Pampered Chef, Creative memories. I avoid Usbourne books, Partylite, any jewelry or lingerie.

 

[Bob NC]

no you shouldn't have to lie to get someone off your back. However, a white lie can sometimes smooth things over when it comes to awkward social situations.

Geez, take it from me, NO Dis'r has ever told a white lie.

If you can't be honest with your friends you will probably die alone.

(I'm just kidding, that's what a few Dissers told me a few weeks ago when I said I had told a little white lie to get out of something.)

And Eliza, you're first intuition is usually the best.

 

[badblackpug]

Disclaimer: I HATE home sales demonstrations.

These are not "parties" they are high pressure sales techniques, I actually think it is beyond rude to put friends in the position where they feel obligated to bufy things they don't want or can't afford.

OP, you were not rude, and, technically, not obligated to buy. However, the hostess wasn't honest with you when she told you that you wouldn't be expected to buy. The whole point of getting you to the party was to pressure you into buying. The thought was, get you there, give you food and drinks, and, hopefully, have you bow under peer pressure and guilt and buy something. The whole point of the demonstrations is to make money.

 

[mjkacmom]

Disclaimer: I HATE home sales demonstrations.

These are not "parties" they are high pressure sales techniques, I actually think it is beyond rude to put friends in the position where they feel obligated to bufy things they don't want or can't afford.

OP, you were not rude, and, technically, not obligated to buy. However, the hostess wasn't honest with you when she told you that you wouldn't be expected to buy. The whole point of getting you to the party was to pressure you into buying. The thought was, get you there, give you food and drinks, and, hopefully, have you bow under peer pressure and guilt and buy something. The whole point of the demonstrations is to make money.

I wouldn't blame the hostess, who was probably pressured and guilted by her SIL to hold a party (I've been on that end before, but most of the time, have been able to hold my ground, but it can be hard with family). The SIL wants people to buy - the hostess probably just wanted to do what she offered to her SIL - open up her house and invite people. Usually the hostess doesn't care that much about the free goodies, but just wants to get her obligation done with.

 

[Handbag Lady]

It is totally fine to attend these parties and not buy anything. I would have had some fun with your neightbor's SIL selling person.

I hosted a few Tupperware and candle parties in my day. My parties were fun and I served booze and good food.

If you bought, you bought. If you didn't, I enjoyed throwing the party and liked having you there. I would always have to have a chat with my party person ahead of time that she would get more sales from my people by being laid back instead of using pressure.

You know, I haven't been invited to one in about 10 years. I assume they've died out in my circle.

A few people at work had the jewelry party, but I really just don't like fake jewelry enough to buy it all of the time.

Is Pampered Chef fun?

 

[lovetoscrap]

I initially declined saying budget wise my plate was full. My neighbor who I do consider a friend and is very nice, told me to come. said buying was not required and many of the other women in the development would be there, no one comes outside in the winter so this is a chance to get together. etc etc.. I declined again thinking the purpose of hte party is to sell stuff and i'm sticking to a budget. A couple days laer ran into another neighbor who talked me into going.

Last night, went to the party (company called Willow home and jewlery) had a good time, a few nice things but I politely declined the catalogue.
dumm, dee, dumm,dumm....cue the scary movie music. SIL got really annoyed and continued the sell even telling me to take a book home and I had 10 days before she placed the order.

Well at the end of the night, she then began the "host your own party" part and said to me that since I didn't buy any thing I should at least take the catalogue to work with me.

HUH? I politely declined explaining I work with mostly men and I doubt that would garner many sales but then I got mad at myself for even explaining.
?

First of all, you were not rude. But ... I think you might have deflected some of the pressure from the consultant if you had accepted the catalog with a smile and a promise to get back to her if you found something you couldn't live without. By refusing the catalog I think you unwittingly challenged her to pressure you in an attempt to "save face" in front of the other guests. No, you shouldn't have to accept the catalog and no you shouldn't have to lie to get someone off your back. However, a white lie can sometimes smooth things over when it comes to awkward social situations.

I think you "talked too much". No need to provide explanations for anything. When asked to go a simple "Thank you for inviting me but I won't be able to attend" is all you needed to say. If pressed for a reason you just need to repeat "I appreciate the offer but I am not able to be there" or "I have other plans" (your plan may be to stay home and NOT go out to a sales party!) . As soon as you provide a reason you give the other person and opening to try to convince you otherwise.

The same with at the party. Pushy SIL does not need to know your reasons. And sometimes it easiest to go with the flow. Take the catalog and throw it away when you get home or "forget" to pick it up when you are leaving. I have been known to say what robinb said "I want to look over everything and will let you know if I decide to order." If later contact is made just tell them you didn't see anything you want. No need to explain about budget, food allergies, already have something similar etc... They will just turn on the salesmanship to convince you why you have to have their product. And the same with the question about hosting a party. "Sorry, I am not interested." No excuse needed. NOT INTERESTED.

I know that consultants have to pay for their catalogs so that is why I try to hand it back at the end of the night or just leave it on the table or other convenient spot where they host will find it. If the consultant is going to be pushy and insist I take it then I will and just throw it away at home-- that is her cost of doing business for being pushy.

In the words of one of my favorite other forums:
No! is a complete sentence.
And this can be complimented with "I am afraid that won't be possible." and, if necessary, a quick change of conversation (Hey, Susie, I love that picture on your wall, when did you go to Hawaii? How is DS doing in college? )

 

[robinb]

Geez, take it from me, NO Dis'r has ever told a white lie.

If you can't be honest with your friends you will probably die alone.

(I'm just kidding, that's what a few Dissers told me a few weeks ago when I said I had told a little white lie to get out of something.)

I do remember that thread . I believe that I stayed clear of it for my own sanity.

 

[Lunchlady]

I used to go to some of these parties and then I noticed the consultant would start with the story of how she just returned from Vegas or some other place where she won a trip for having high sales. Then her story would go if you want to start selling so you can go on these trips like me talk to me about being a consultant. Okay let me get this straight. You want me to buy this overpriced stuff so you can go on these trips. No thank you!!! If I am paying for a trip I better be going too. They try to convince you the price is so low and then you pay a shipping charge that adds an additional 2-3 dollars. No thank you. I know where Walmart, Target and the mall is if I need anything. No shipping charge there.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

These parties are huge with military wives. I used to get invited to at least ten a year. I had to make a hard, fast rule not to go to any more of them. It was crap I just didn't need. Also, these were usually hosted by people who had never invited me to any other type of social occasion.

I understand the attraction of the job, especially for military wives. It's a job you don't loose when you move and you can work around childcare. I just didn't have the spare money or time for it.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I have a friend that failed at selling Mary Kay so now she is selling Thirty One products. She is pushing me and all of my friends she met at my wedding to have a party. I'm this close to telling her I'm not going on to debt so you can get out of it. She thinks these parties are going to pay down her mountains of debt instead of getting a second job, because that would interfere with her social life.

 

[badblackpug]

I wouldn't blame the hostess, who was probably pressured and guilted by her SIL to hold a party (I've been on that end before, but most of the time, have been able to hold my ground, but it can be hard with family). The SIL wants people to buy - the hostess probably just wanted to do what she offered to her SIL - open up her house and invite people. Usually the hostess doesn't care that much about the free goodies, but just wants to get her obligation done with.

Oh, I agree. I think the SIL just told the neighbor to invite everyone knowing how the process works.

I think the SIL knows that most times someone who comes will buy something out of guilt or peer pressure.

 

[robinb]

Oh, I agree. I think the SIL just told the neighbor to invite everyone knowing how the process works.

I think the SIL knows that most times someone who comes will buy something out of guilt or peer pressure.

Don't forget that the Hostess Gifts increase in value as the sales increase.

 

[marcyinPA]

Good timing on this one! I was invited to a Thirty One party tonight by some girls from work. I told them "no thanks"- and they were fine with it and didn't tell me to come to socialize. Phew- because even though they know I don't want to buy anything, I would have felt like I needed to buy something "small" anyway. I'm really not into that Thirty One stuff. I know people love it, but I find it to be overpriced tote bags. I bought a lunchbox a few months ago when my neighbor had a party, and she has now become a consultant. UGH. She pressured me to have a party and I said NO and stuck to my guns. I don't need FREE overprice tote bags.

I have had my share of these parties in the past- Longaberger was a biggie- but my desire for that stuff has long fizzled out. The only two that I would consider going to anymore are Tastefully Simple and Pampered Chef. Even then, the stuff is $$.

 

[Rence]

Several years back we were in a "Home Party Cult" - that is what we all called it. A lot of us in our social circle threw home parties and we really enjoyed them. At first I only invited folks that I thought would really be interested, but soon I had a few friends asking why they weren't invited (well I didn't think that they had any interest at all in what was being sold). So I soon started inviting everyone, making it clear what the party was so that no one was surprised.

Most of our "consultants" were fine with folks showing up and not buying. We got such a good turn out that it didn't matter if half the folks didn't buy - the other half who did buy would make for a very large party. I actually set the record for my Pampered Chef consultant's all time largest party.

We kept the parties fun and made sure that there was plenty of time afterwards for socializing so it wasn't all about the "sell". I know that after the parties I would sit down with the consultant and they would go through the guest list and ask me about a few folks who didn't place an order. I took it more as them wanting to make sure that we didn't lose an order. They always seemed fine with me telling them that they just came for the fun of it and had indicated that they most likely wouldn't be ordering.

We always emphasized up front with the consultants that we wanted this to be fun and not hard-sell and we never had a problem.

 

[hellow]

Several years back we were in a "Home Party Cult" - that is what we all called it. A lot of us in our social circle threw home parties and we really enjoyed them. At first I only invited folks that I thought would really be interested, but soon I had a few friends asking why they weren't invited (well I didn't think that they had any interest at all in what was being sold). So I soon started inviting everyone, making it clear what the party was so that no one was surprised.

Most of our "consultants" were fine with folks showing up and not buying. We got such a good turn out that it didn't matter if half the folks didn't buy - the other half who did buy would make for a very large party. I actually set the record for my Pampered Chef consultant's all time largest party.

We kept the parties fun and made sure that there was plenty of time afterwards for socializing so it wasn't all about the "sell". I know that after the parties I would sit down with the consultant and they would go through the guest list and ask me about a few folks who didn't place an order. I took it more as them wanting to make sure that we didn't lose an order. They always seemed fine with me telling them that they just came for the fun of it and had indicated that they most likely wouldn't be ordering.

We always emphasized up front with the consultants that we wanted this to be fun and not hard-sell and we never had a problem.

That is how I have always viewed these parties. I think the worst thing to happen would be to have NO ONE show up, so if I hosted a party I always wanted people to come without any obligation to buy. And then we tried to keep it fun with good food and drink and socializing. I liked Tupperware and Pampered Chef mostly. There was also a Christmas home party in the 90's that I enjoyed going to on occasion. I often would go to see everyone, and never felt pressured to buy. I feel bad now that so many people hate them so much.

 

[Dallas_Lady]

Disclaimer: I HATE home sales demonstrations.

These are not "parties" they are high pressure sales techniques, I actually think it is beyond rude to put friends in the position where they feel obligated to bufy things they don't want or can't afford.

I hate these things. I have had to cut off a few "friends" who started selling things and turned our normal social situations (Moms night out, etc.) into their so-called "parties"

 

[carrie1626]

Ugh! What a scam. Asking people to prey upon friends and family to buy waaaay overpriced crap. No thanks.

YEARS and years ago, I (somehow) was convinced to become a consultant for WICKER PLUS ( anyone remember). I lasted about 8 months. When I no longer had "the next party" booked that was it!

It wasn't long after that I saw an item from the WP catalog being sold in a grocery store ( a promo) and my jaw dropped when I saw the price difference. I mean I knew there was a markup but I honestly didn't know how much that markup was.

OVERPRICED is as UNDERSTATEMENT

 

[minkydog]

This is exactly why I refuse to go to these selling parties. I hate pressure sales. It's not my job to inflate someone else's checkbook, nor is it my responsibility to make sure the hostess gets a fancy-schmancy gift. I decline every time and I don't feel bad about it.

 

[okeydokey]

I hate these things. I have had to cut off a few "friends" who started selling things and turned our normal social situations (Moms night out, etc.) into their so-called "parties"

Ugh. I was invited to a friend's house for a girls get together party. No Indictation that it was a selling party, but the invite was on Facebook and the guest list was huge. I instintively knew it was a sales party and said I couldn't make it. Another friend who did go confirmed that it was a sales party and the host announced at the beginning of the party that if she had told everyone what it really was, nobody would have come. Tacky.

 

[ilovepcot]

I admire people who can say "no". OP...