Holding a child back in school

[Binnie]

7 of 50 are being recommended for retention? Seriously, that's 14% of their students. If that many are "failing" there's something seriously wrong.

If there's a reading specialist in the school or in the district, I would recommend that you get an opinion from them on your son's reading. Maybe that would help you to decide either way.

Frankly, it sounds like a teacher/school issue and knowing the little you've told us about your situation, I would NOT retain him.

 

[penn19]

If you trust the teacher, yes. I don't see this as an academic issue as much as a maturity issue. Hindsight for us, I which we would have started DS18 a year later. Academically he was ahead of the game in kindergarten, socially/maturity-wise, he was not. We even asked his preschool teacher if she felt he was ready and she said that she never makes recommendations because no one listens to her. Had she said she though he should wait, we would have held him without question.

Put it this way, I have never talked to a parent that held their child back that regretted it but have talked to many, many, many parents that regret NOT holding their child back.

Agreed 100%. I wish I had held mine back in preschool. But it was my first, and I "knew everything". sigh.......The teacher told me he wasn't ready socially, and my pride couldn't see it. He struggled all through school, with every teacher telling me he would be fine "the next year". Biggest mistake of my life. But back then hardly anyone I knew was held back.

Trust your gut.

 

[Mom of 3 Princesses]

I have three Children 15, 12 and 3 years.

DD15 is a Dec baby, so she was older when she started Kindergarten. She is a great student, had a extra year to be a child.
DD12 was a VERY young Kindergartener. I should have let her stay home. BUT, i thought she was ready. She did Okay in school... OK... but she was young. The teacher recommended that I let her stay in kindergarten another year. I decided I knew better, she was doing fine, she was happy, in retospect, I should have listened, but I didn't. I can assure you that NOT a day goes by that I do not regret that decision.

She is in the 6th grade now. Eventually, I made her repeat a grade. But I didn't do it until she was in the 3rd grade. I should have done it sooner.

She has been tested, but there is nothing wrong... nothing. The only "wrong" was that I refused to listen. She still struggles.. she needed that extra time to still be a kid, to develop more, to do excellent in Kindergarten, not just good.

DD3 could start early as well. BUT, I will hold her home for the extra months....

Lesson learned for me....

 

[kacaju]

I've wondered too. He is shy but also if he feels that he can't do something 100% perfect, he doesn't want to do it and be made to feel silly. He hates being embarrassed as well. So it's easier to just clown then take a chance on doing it wrong.

Be careful, if he is afraid of *not being perfect* he could be suffering from anxiety. May sound silly but I have a daughter who is 17 and she suffers from high anxiety over not being perfect. the therapist says it is very common for perfectionists to do this.

 

[castleview]

Considering the number of children in that one class who are being recommended for retention I would be inclined to say no and get tutoring for my DS over the summer. If they push it, I would then request (in writing) a full evaluation for my child.

Based on your family history it could possibly be a learning disability (Dyslexia just means reading disability, it can be comprehension, or letter reversals, or phonemic problems or all of the above). If your DS does have a reading disability then repeating the same grade, doing the same thing won't help him.

However, back to the fact that so many are being suggested for retention, it could also be that your child is curriculum disabled. If this one teacher is not effective at teaching reading then a summer of tutoring will likely be all your child needs.

If a child is held back very early on for maturation or age issues it can sometimes be helpful. However, as a rule, children who are held back one year have a higher likelihood of not graduating and children who are held back two years are very unlikely to graduate.

At the very least, I would make them tell me what they plan to do differently next year.

Can you site your source on this as I have never heard of such a thing. We just got data back from our school, and the kids who were retained in kindergarten or first grade had above average test scores.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Not to sound jerky but why not just tell your child that he has to read for the teacher or she is going to think he doesn't know how? You don't have to be mean about it but by 1st grade they can understand this. You did say he can read right? So tell him he has to do it. If he continues to be a class clown then there should be a consequence. I know this sounds harsh but unless he really can't read (which you said isn't the case) then he is just playing around. JMHO of course. YMMV.

As for 7 kids getting retained, well that imo is way too many. I would insist the school look into it. Especially if they are all from the same teacher.

From what you have posted it seems like he needs help with his sight words. Make up some flash cards and keep them with you. You can go over them anywhere. The mistakes you are saying that he makes seem very normal. Once he gets those down pat it will all click and be much easier for him.
Good luck.

 

[tw1nsmom]

Can you site your source on this as I have never heard of such a thing. We just got data back from our school, and the kids who were retained in kindergarten or first grade had above average test scores.

http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/search/detailmini.jsp?_nfpb=true&_&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=ED397213&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=no&accno=ED397213

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/fape_retention.htm

The first is an abstract. The second is a link to Wrights Law with numerous links within that about retention. The summary is just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's statistically effective in the long run.

 

[Pigeon]

I would not have my child repeat a grade in the OP's situation. As a pp mentioned, retention at any age is associated with a significantly higher risk for dropping out of school and with increased social-emotional difficulties. It also does not improve academic achievement.

More citations include:
http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/detail?accno=EJ648552

http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/detail?accno=EJ667518

 

[Help Please!]

Many teachers at my school are in agreement that the BEST grade to hold a student back in is 1st...they get such intensive reading instruction during that year. It sounds like you need a conference with teacher, reading coach, admin., etc. to find out the numerous reasons...if your child is below grade level and demonstrating behavior issues, one more year might be a good thing. I see lots of kids (especially boys) struggle in later elementary because they are "young."

 

[Crystal0608]

In social settings I see her friending kids younger than she is by a year or even more. She doesn't have a lot of friends although this year is much better she is in a larger school. But she isn't invited to parties and hardly anyone calls her on the phone. She never wants to call anyone herself. She doesn't seem to care but it seems odd to me....

This is my dd to a t. She is an August baby and in 5th. She gets very few calls & invites though parents love her & all kids are nice to her. I've noticed many girls she hung out with non-stop in 2nd/3rd are now into boys, texting, drama and dd just isn't into it at all. She gets along great with ds's (3rd) friends & is always invited to his friends parties. Though she is an A student & AG, looking back I would have held her back a year to grow socially.

I'm dealing with the same issue of passing or retaining ds. He's made half B's half F's except for 1st quarter and he made a 2 in math & 1 in reading (out of 4) on the EOG test. His teacher said his reading level is an N, which is lower than the level of the questions asked on the test so he couldn't comprehend them. I had him psych tested recently and they confirmed his adhd diagnosis (since 4) and also said he had an anxiety disorder. It's a very thorough test and they recommend all changes the school need to make. I went to his ped dr today to discuss the results with her also and she agrees with me, retain or he needs the IEP. She will write me a letter for the school if needed. His teacher thinks retaining him would ruin his confidence, so she wants to pass him. I am pushing the school to get him an IEP for exceptional children other health impaired as well as classroom modifications & write on test for future EOGs. If I don't get it, I will hold him back as it's the only way I see him having a chance of success next year. Good luck in your decision either way.

 

[Buckalew11]

From what you have said about him on page 1, I would definitely hold him back.

He's younger, he's struggling with his reading skills, he sounds a bit immature in the classroom and those are all good reasons to hold him back now rather than have him struggle later.

By 3rd grade you are "reading to learn" instead of "learning to read."

I would try to get him some help (maybe once a week) this summer.

I have never heard a parent say they regret holding a child back but I have heard many, many parents say they regret sending their child on to the next grade.

He'll mature over the summer, be one of the older kids in the 1st grade next year and the light bulb with reading will go off and he'll do great!

 

[golfgal]

http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/search/detailmini.jsp?_nfpb=true&_&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=ED397213&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=no&accno=ED397213

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/fape_retention.htm

The first is an abstract. The second is a link to Wrights Law with numerous links within that about retention. The summary is just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's statistically effective in the long run.

I would not have my child repeat a grade in the OP's situation. As a pp mentioned, retention at any age is associated with a significantly higher risk for dropping out of school and with increased social-emotional difficulties. It also does not improve academic achievement.

More citations include:
http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/detail?accno=EJ648552

http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/detail?accno=EJ667518

How much of this is the chicken/egg thing though? Kids that are held back are usually held back because they are struggling in some way. If they aren't able to overcome that, school will be a struggle all the way through and kids eventually give up.

 

[Pigeon]

How much of this is the chicken/egg thing though? Kids that are held back are usually held back because they are struggling in some way. If they aren't able to overcome that, school will be a struggle all the way through and kids eventually give up.

You compare them against a control group that was also struggling and was not held back. It's basic research methodology.

I think this hold them back/social promotion thing is a false dichotomy. Holding them back isn't the only alternative. If I had a child who was struggling in one subject as the OP's is, I would make sure the child had extra help, but no way would I hold them back.

 

[golfgal]

You compare them against a control group that was also struggling and was not held back. It's basic research methodology.

I think this hold them back/social promotion thing is a false dichotomy. Holding them back isn't the only alternative. If I had a child who was struggling in one subject as the OP's is, I would make sure the child had extra help, but no way would I hold them back.

The problem is that this child is struggling in reading-which is needed in ALL subject areas. It isn't like math where you pretty much only use it in math at that age. The more the OP posts, the more I think this child should be tested for learning disabilities before anything is done. If that is the case then the school can give extra help. Without that, it falls to the parents to take care of any extra help. If they do that on their own, chances are they won't be doing it properly. There is a methodology to teaching a child to read and comprehend what they are reading. It is like the saying goes "practice does not make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect". I also contend that this child's issue, if not a learning disability, is more of a maturity issue then an academic issue, in which case, holding the child back makes perfect sense.

 

[OceanAnnie]

How are the content area grades? It's strange, but kids can have reading problems and still do well in content areas. If he is doing well in the content areas, I wouldn't hold him back. He will be bored the next year doing the same exact thing again. Sometimes it just takes longer for reading to click. Kids don't all develop at the same rate. And that is okay. As long as your child is getting the help he needs in reading and he is performing on grade level he should be okay.

I would make sure to get help during the summer.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I am guessing the OP is from Indiana with the new third grade law. The kids have to be at a certain reading level by the end of third grade. As a teacher, I think third grade is too late. Her school might be trying to nip problems in first grade where reading instruction is much more intense. That said, I am not loving the sounds of this first grade teacher. If you felt comfortable with her, I would say you should retain. It is so much easier on the kids to retain younger.

I taught second grade, but I have been a stay at home mom for 9 years. I believe some of the first books my kids were reading with me were the Frog and Toad books. Why don't you check one of those books out and see how he does? I think the author is Lobel. The Magic Tree House series was really popular in second grade. Do you feel he'll be ready for those by mid second grade?

I would make sure he is reading with you 5-7 days a week this summer. Kids on the verge of reading need to practice, practice, and practice. If he is already low, you do not want the typical "summer slide."

Good luck!

 

[need2cruise]

I am guessing the OP is from Indiana with the new third grade law. The kids have to be at a certain reading level by the end of third grade. As a teacher, I think third grade is too late. Her school might be trying to nip problems in first grade where reading instruction is much more intense. That said, I am not loving the sounds of this first grade teacher. If you felt comfortable with her, I would say you should retain. It is so much easier on the kids to retain younger.

I taught second grade, but I have been a stay at home mom for 9 years. I believe some of the first books my kids were reading with me were the Frog and Toad books. Why don't you check one of those books out and see how he does? I think the author is Lobel. The Magic Tree House series was really popular in second grade. Do you feel he'll be ready for those by mid second grade?

I would make sure he is reading with you 5-7 days a week this summer. Kids on the verge of reading need to practice, practice, and practice. If he is already low, you do not want the typical "summer slide."

Good luck!

OP here! Yes we are from Indiana and that new law is what is putting everyone up in arms.

The reading aid will not contact me back, rather the principal is handling all communication. They really won't give specifics other than reading comprehension is the main issue and they feel that it is affecting other areas. Another thing they worry about is that he often mixes up numbers like 8 and 9 and b and d. They are not concerned about dyslexia and feel that even if it was, he would still benefit by being retained. I do think a meeting is in order to determine why repeating a grade would be beneficial and how/if it will help to just redo the same work he did this year. He is VERY good at memorizing things, so I worry a lot of his improvement would be a result of memorization vs actually knowing.

I have talked to ds many times about not being shy and reading. He does very well for all the parents who go into class as well as in his reading group. It's the teacher he does not want to read for, for some reason or another. He will, he just tries to hurry through it when he's with her (which isn't often).

I wouldn't say he's immature in the classroom. He's not the type who has ever caused classroom disruption, never talks out of turn or does anything to get in trouble. He's actually very well behaved, does as he's told, doesn't talk while the teachers talking, etc. His issue is when it's time to work quietly he will doodle and not do the work in the allotted time. However, this isn't every day or every paper, just sporadic. Another thing I've noticed is, he will know his spelling words at home yet will get to school and miss 2-3.

He has read various books at home. I have noticed some issues, mainly with words that are word wall type words like who, know, how, etc. We work on the flash cards for these words, he knows them and breezes right through them 9 out of 10 times, but then there are times he will just not want to do it and will say random words instead. Maybe that is the maturity issue that is being referred to?

I think asking for another 1st grade teacher to evaulate would be excellent, I'm just worried he won't get a fair shake since if this teacher seen differently he would be contradicting a co-worker and also going against the principal.

Here is the principals email: "Although his word recall and word recognition have improved, his greatest difficulty is with comprehension. This struggle with comprehension also carries over to other subjects. It is not uncommon for some first grade students to have letter and number reversals, but that is not necessarily an indicator of dyslexia. The term “dyslexia” is really a term that refers to a type of learning disability which could include much more than just letter or number reversals. Our greater concern would be XXX's inability to sometimes write and recognize numbers. For example, he consistently struggles with indentifying “8” and “9” and often mixes the two up."

 

[TLSnell1981]

Would you hold your elementary child back a grade based soley on one teachers view? If you have held back your child, what was the criteria that helped you make that decision?

!

My youngest son's teacher wanted to hold him back. She felt he was immature, although his grades were all average or above. Thankfully, I had a wonderful pediatricIan, who went the extra mile. He did not believe in telling a child, they were a failure when in fact, they had no failing grades. He (correctly) suspected my son was ADHD, but the teacher didn't buy it We did not hold him back and had him tested that summer. Guess who was right? He never failed a class and even made honor roll from time to time. Today, he is very successful young business man with LOTS of confidence.

 

[shortbun]

Your child's abillity to perform in class is important. Have you ever visited his classroom and watched him perform? You asked for advice and so I will advise you to the best of my abilities. I don't see how any teacher who does not observe your son on a daily basis could or would make a statement of his reading levels. I have a few friends who are teachers too but none of them ever read with my son. Bottom line, the decision is yours but know that your son's future depends on you. Pride-yours-should have no weight in this decision. Perhaps you could ask the teacher to allow you to come in with your son and watch him read for her. Maybe he's less of a reader than you think.

 

[OceanAnnie]

OP here! Yes we are from Indiana and that new law is what is putting everyone up in arms.

The reading aid will not contact me back, rather the principal is handling all communication. They really won't give specifics other than reading comprehension is the main issue and they feel that it is affecting other areas. Another thing they worry about is that he often mixes up numbers like 8 and 9 and b and d. They are not concerned about dyslexia and feel that even if it was, he would still benefit by being retained. I do think a meeting is in order to determine why repeating a grade would be beneficial and how/if it will help to just redo the same work he did this year. He is VERY good at memorizing things, so I worry a lot of his improvement would be a result of memorization vs actually knowing.

I have talked to ds many times about not being shy and reading. He does very well for all the parents who go into class as well as in his reading group. It's the teacher he does not want to read for, for some reason or another. He will, he just tries to hurry through it when he's with her (which isn't often).

I wouldn't say he's immature in the classroom. He's not the type who has ever caused classroom disruption, never talks out of turn or does anything to get in trouble. He's actually very well behaved, does as he's told, doesn't talk while the teachers talking, etc. His issue is when it's time to work quietly he will doodle and not do the work in the allotted time. However, this isn't every day or every paper, just sporadic. Another thing I've noticed is, he will know his spelling words at home yet will get to school and miss 2-3.

He has read various books at home. I have noticed some issues, mainly with words that are word wall type words like who, know, how, etc. We work on the flash cards for these words, he knows them and breezes right through them 9 out of 10 times, but then there are times he will just not want to do it and will say random words instead. Maybe that is the maturity issue that is being referred to?

I think asking for another 1st grade teacher to evaulate would be excellent, I'm just worried he won't get a fair shake since if this teacher seen differently he would be contradicting a co-worker and also going against the principal.

Here is the principals email: "Although his word recall and word recognition have improved, his greatest difficulty is with comprehension. This struggle with comprehension also carries over to other subjects. It is not uncommon for some first grade students to have letter and number reversals, but that is not necessarily an indicator of dyslexia. The term “dyslexia” is really a term that refers to a type of learning disability which could include much more than just letter or number reversals. Our greater concern would be XXX's inability to sometimes write and recognize numbers. For example, he consistently struggles with indentifying “8” and “9” and often mixes the two up."

If you don't mind my asking, how are his grades overall? I think that would be a pretty big factor in making a determination.

It can be hard to pin point reading problems without testing. It could be your child does comprehend the material, but maybe he doesn't understand the questions. Has the teacher asked your DS orally about some of the questions he has missed? Although it would still be a reading comprehension issue, it wouldn't be about the content material. That does matter and it might shed some light on the issue and ways to attack it.

You mentioned your DS was a little immature. Does he rush to finish his work? I have had "a talk" or two about slowing down, taking time while answering questions. It included the phrase, "There is no prize in getting your paper in first.". It also included, "All papers are important. Don't rush. Read the directions. If you don't understand them, tell the teacher and ask for help.".

I understand your dilemma, OP.