Hijacked 1st Trip

siren0119

DIS Veteran
Joined
Sep 26, 2018
I'm so sorry things were still an issue. I know this is unsolicited advice, but I would strongly suggest you and your BF have a talk about the way things went. It might be in the way you described the things that happened - but it didn't sound like he made much of an effort to defend you and be a united front, and allowed you to be the "bad" guy. Difficult family situations like this have a high potential for getting worse if you two are not a team, and if he's willing to let you take the fall against his family. Chalk it up to a learning experience, and make a unified decision about how you two will handle these things in the future - you have a Christmas visit with them coming up, so it's probably smart to work things out before that trip, and before he allows you to be the villain in the story on another trip.
 
  • LSUmiss

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 8, 2014
    Unfortunately the drama continued... after they cancelled the dinner because I asked that anyone who would be up close or holding the baby get flu and whooping cough vaccines and refrain from kissing (my family has those same rules) so my bf and I agreed that the only downtime we had was arrival night so we would meet up with them at the resort that night. Well that night comes and nothing is said until we're getting dinner at about 830 at our resort and he asked when we would see them. I said well they should come on cause it's getting late. He then told me they were in epcot and wouldn't be leaving the park. I told him we had agreed on that night because our magic kingdom day was busy. His response was that they would be in the same park and we would see them. We finally agreed to meet at 8 since it was before rope drop. Well when we got in the next morning he proceeds to tell me it was too early for them and his mom and godmother were still asleep. I dropped it and walked away pissed cause once again I was being lied to. So at 1130 he insists we just had to go from new fantasyland to the gates. We trekked up through and they call to tell him exactly where we were. So we go over and he offered up the hand sanitizer and his godmother refused saying she wouldn't be touching him. I handed him over to his sister who to her credit did talk to him. His mother had to be forced to hold him and they spent the 15 mins taking 1000 pictures but never really attempting to play or engage him. His godmother forced a hug on me at the end to get in a snide "I know this was just soo hard on you" no one else spoke or looked in my direction despite my saying hello and attempting to be cordial. Then later after fireworks they called again to say they were at the gates and to come. So with my 17 lb baby half asleep nursing on me. I had to navigate main street to say good bye rather than them coming to us. They expressed their disappointment that he was asleep and I informed them that he had had a long day and I wouldn't wake him up. They acted like I didn't speak and ignored me. So basically they got what they wanted which was to disrupt the day, in total with walk time it was about 2 hours out of our magic kingdom day. We missed several rides because we planned to ride once pm emh started and baby was asleep because he would sleep in his carrier through the ride but instead we had to fight our way up and back down main st and lost quite a lot of time.
    Slightly off topic, but my mil is like this with my DS. She wants the photo op & to tell everyone she is granny & act entitled to things b/c she is “granny”. But, she does nothing to engage him or act grandmotherly & then she’ll say things like “he doesn’t like me” when he won’t go by her. He is very very social so if he won’t go by her that’s on her!
     

    siren0119

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 26, 2018
    Slightly off topic, but my mil is like this with my DS. She wants the photo op & to tell everyone she is granny & act entitled to things b/c she is “granny”. But, she does nothing to engage him or act grandmotherly & then she’ll say things like “he doesn’t like me” when he won’t go by her. He is very very social so if he won’t go by her that’s on her!
    UGH sounds like my father. He loves to be in the pictures and be the "Granddad" when people are watching, but then wonders why my kids aren't as affectionate with him as they are with my MIL. His wife (she's basically my stepmother in name only, they married when I was an adult and she is not the motherly type) gets all bothered that the kids barely know her. Hello - you set foot in my house twice in five years, only show up at birthday parties for half an hour before disappearing, and rarely have us over. My in laws show up to every game, every performance, every event - sometimes just come over for coffee or pick them up from school when they have an afternoon off to have a grandkids date. We visit their house at least once a month. They are present for my kids, my dad is NOT. You get what you give, ESPECIALLY with kids.
     

    CoffeeKitten

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    May 17, 2019
    I'm so sorry things were still an issue. I know this is unsolicited advice, but I would strongly suggest you and your BF have a talk about the way things went. It might be in the way you described the things that happened - but it didn't sound like he made much of an effort to defend you and be a united front, and allowed you to be the "bad" guy. Difficult family situations like this have a high potential for getting worse if you two are not a team, and if he's willing to let you take the fall against his family. Chalk it up to a learning experience, and make a unified decision about how you two will handle these things in the future - you have a Christmas visit with them coming up, so it's probably smart to work things out before that trip, and before he allows you to be the villain in the story on another trip.
    Believe me, you need to be on the same page for future interactions. For years I had to hear from my in-laws how I was keeping my DH from them. It wasn't true, of course. DH decides who he talks to and where he goes. But he was inadvertently letting his family think I was the one behind his actions. After many arguments, he realized he had to be more vocal with his own family. Now they don't blame me automatically when we don't participate in family functions.
     

    Gingerfun1

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Jun 29, 2018
    I'm sorry, OP. Your boyfriend really let you down. That's really the crux of the problem here, not his family.

    I don't want to kick you while you're down but you guys really need to get on the same page for future family interactions. Making you the bad guy is not OK. Having the mother of his child ignored by his family is not OK. Your kid will pick up on this someday and seeing toxic relationships endured under the guise of "but their family" is not healthy.

    Hang in there, OP.
     
  • LSUmiss

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 8, 2014
    UGH sounds like my father. He loves to be in the pictures and be the "Granddad" when people are watching, but then wonders why my kids aren't as affectionate with him as they are with my MIL. His wife (she's basically my stepmother in name only, they married when I was an adult and she is not the motherly type) gets all bothered that the kids barely know her. Hello - you set foot in my house twice in five years, only show up at birthday parties for half an hour before disappearing, and rarely have us over. My in laws show up to every game, every performance, every event - sometimes just come over for coffee or pick them up from school when they have an afternoon off to have a grandkids date. We visit their house at least once a month. They are present for my kids, my dad is NOT. You get what you give, ESPECIALLY with kids.
    That’s what DH always says. An 18 mos old isn’t going to be nice to you b/c he’s supposed to so if he doesn’t like you, then it’s you!
     

    jljohnston89

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Oct 4, 2019
    I'm so sorry OP so much more could be said i response to it all but I just hope you guys give WDW another shot...without the family no ifs ands or buts so you can experience it with your child without all that extra unnecessary stress. What a bummer for that to have all went down like that :sad2:
    I'll most definitely take him again. We are disney lovers so i can't stay away. Now whether that's 3 or 2 people idk. This whole thing has spiraled into them accusing me of keeping my bf and son away from them and them telling him I don't need to be around, etc.
     

    Pumbaa_

    >Hakuna Matata!<
    Moderator
    Joined
    Jan 7, 2001
    There is always a reason when there is an estrangement in the family. You can deal with their crap as long as your bf is on the same page in the playbook.

    If not, no is a complete sentence. As in no, the baby is nursing, I will not walk down main st.

    Best of luck. While I have estrangement in my family, my dh and I are an invincible team. Thank goodness!
     
    Last edited:
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    I'll most definitely take him again. We are disney lovers so i can't stay away. Now whether that's 3 or 2 people idk. This whole thing has spiraled into them accusing me of keeping my bf and son away from them and them telling him I don't need to be around, etc.
    I'm 'liking' the post but def. not the last part of your comment; that's really unfortunate and sad they feel that way :(

    Glad to hear you'll be going again though :)
     
  • DisLiss

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 2, 2018
    My initial thoughts based only on the OP--if info has been changed or added after the first post, I haven't seen it yet. ;)

    You can't stop someone from coming to the park the same time as you, but you also don't have to give up all of your reservations and fastpasses to accommodate them, either.

    In your shoes, I'd simply choose the most important/hardest to get FPs & ADRs and stick with them. I'd provide the family with a list showing when we would be doing those things we worked hard to obtain, and then suggest they find times to meet up with us around those times. I'd compromise by finding a meal or show each day to attend with them, if possible, and leave the rest up to chance--if they can score a FP at the same time as us---great. Same with the other ADRs. If not, then they can have some trip time to themselves while we had some trip time to ourselves.

    This is exactly how I'd plan a trip if someone else was involved even if it had been planned that way from the get-go, mind you. I think it's difficult and stressful to make a large group stick together every minute of the day. So whether at Disney or anywhere else, we always plan just a few things together as a group when we travel with others. :)

    Good luck!
     



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