Hijacked 1st Trip

jenmsmith

Mouseketeer
Joined
Apr 29, 2016
Imo it would be different if it were for my other kids but not for other adults who can get over themselves. I only have one kid & will only have one kid so I am able to keep his schedule which keeps him happy.
Oh, I agree that OP should definitely do what works for her family.

I just chuckled when the PP found it “maddening” anyone would think going to dinner at 7:30 with an infant (even one who goes to bed late) would be a good idea. I would have at one point in my life, but our fourth child is (or has to be) pretty go-with-the-flow. As an infant, she was super cool to take anywhere and would fall asleep anywhere. Side note, as a 17-month-old, I would not take her to a sit down dinner at 7:30 pm. Or really anytime. Girlfriend loves to be on the move and not strapped into a high chair/stroller/car seat. 😉
 

jenmsmith

Mouseketeer
Joined
Apr 29, 2016
My daughter was pretty neurotic as an infant, she needed to be in her crib at 6/630 or she voiced her displeasure. She's still neurotic in different ways...now she just gets the drunken sailor walk when she's overtired.
Lol! They all do have different temperaments and quirks, for sure! Our job is to do our best to work with that and do what’s best for them. No real changing them, for sure! 😜
 

LSUmiss

DIS Veteran
Joined
Sep 8, 2014
Oh, I agree that OP should definitely do what works for her family.

I just chuckled when the PP found it “maddening” anyone would think going to dinner at 7:30 with an infant (even one who goes to bed late) would be a good idea. I would have at one point in my life, but our fourth child is (or has to be) pretty go-with-the-flow. As an infant, she was super cool to take anywhere and would fall asleep anywhere. Side note, as a 17-month-old, I would not take her to a sit down dinner at 7:30 pm. Or really anytime. Girlfriend loves to be on the move and not strapped into a high chair/stroller/car seat. 😉
I have a 17 month old so I understand!
 
  • Summer2018

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 29, 2017
    Oh, I agree that OP should definitely do what works for her family.

    I just chuckled when the PP found it “maddening” anyone would think going to dinner at 7:30 with an infant (even one who goes to bed late) would be a good idea. I would have at one point in my life, but our fourth child is (or has to be) pretty go-with-the-flow. As an infant, she was super cool to take anywhere and would fall asleep anywhere. Side note, as a 17-month-old, I would not take her to a sit down dinner at 7:30 pm. Or really anytime. Girlfriend loves to be on the move and not strapped into a high chair/stroller/car seat. 😉
    That was me as a child. My older siblings were 16 and 13 when I (Surprise!!!) was born. I got dragged to every ski lesson, baton twirling practice and competition, whatever was going on with my brother and sister, I was in the back of the station wagon in the Porta Crib. My mother joked and said that I had a gasoline behind because I went everywhere with them. Sometimes it was fun...ice skating while they went skiing, but other times I remember being bored and car sick. My parents did their best, and I turned out just fine.

    I only had one child after being infertile for years. So, she was much more catered to than I was.
     

    QueenIsabella

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 17, 2016
    That was me as a child. My older siblings were 16 and 13 when I (Surprise!!!) was born. I got dragged to every ski lesson, baton twirling practice and competition, whatever was going on with my brother and sister, I was in the back of the station wagon in the Porta Crib. My mother joked and said that I had a gasoline behind because I went everywhere with them. Sometimes it was fun...ice skating while they went skiing, but other times I remember being bored and car sick. My parents did their best, and I turned out just fine.

    I only had one child after being infertile for years. So, she was much more catered to than I was.

    We went through similar stuff here. We had #1, 20 months later #2...then, 6 years later, #3, and 3 years after that, #4. So, the younger two got dragged around to a lot of places, nursed on the side of soccer fields and at dance rehearsals, the whole bit. Luckily, they were fairly easy as babies and toddlers.

    OTOH, #2 had serious issues as a baby/toddler. Bad enough that he would get super fussy when off his schedule, but he actually passed out and seized if he got overtired/overstressed. Fortunately, he outgrew this charming habit, but when he was little, I had to be a total Nazi about his schedule. At first, I suspected that the ILs (MIL, BIL) thought I was being overly rigid--until they actually SAW my son pass out, seize, and leave my sister's wedding in an ambulance.

    So, I'm very sympathetic to the Op, both on wanting to keep to a specific schedule, and having relatives who act like it's NBD to just waltz in and mess with the carefully laid plans. 100%, the OP has to put the needs of her child ahead of the wants of others.
     

    sponica

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 16, 2017
    Oh, I agree that OP should definitely do what works for her family.

    I just chuckled when the PP found it “maddening” anyone would think going to dinner at 7:30 with an infant (even one who goes to bed late) would be a good idea. I would have at one point in my life, but our fourth child is (or has to be) pretty go-with-the-flow. As an infant, she was super cool to take anywhere and would fall asleep anywhere. Side note, as a 17-month-old, I would not take her to a sit down dinner at 7:30 pm. Or really anytime. Girlfriend loves to be on the move and not strapped into a high chair/stroller/car seat. 😉
    It's one thing when parents decide oh that'll work, it's another thing when outside forces think it's no big deal, even though those outside forces don't have to deal with the consequences.
     

    2019TripIdeas

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Feb 6, 2018
    We had a similar situation last year and based partially on the grandparents-assuming-they-could-come scenario, and partially because it was poor timing with some other travel we had to do last year, we ended up canceling our Disney trip last year. I posted a huge thread on it actually and got TONS of good advice.

    This year, I've got it framed way better. We're going for 4-5 days as just our immediate family (myself, husband and kids) and THEN we will meet up with extended family for the last few days. During that time, my husband and I have plans so the grandparents will be able to "do Disney" with the kids though I doubt they'll even take them into the parks (which is fine! They can take them for a character breakfast or dinner or to do mini golf and call it a success). In our scenario, the grandparents dislike Disney and noisy environments and get stressed out by kids and rides and crowds (they're also major nervous nellies) but also were adamant about not missing the "first" WDW trip (we've taken them to Disneyland twice without a peep from them), so it was just such a bad idea I couldn't figure out a way around it last year.

    I also resented the fact that the grandparents assumed they could come without being invited. It kind of boggles my mind.
     
  • jenmsmith

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Apr 29, 2016
    That was me as a child. My older siblings were 16 and 13 when I (Surprise!!!) was born. I got dragged to every ski lesson, baton twirling practice and competition, whatever was going on with my brother and sister, I was in the back of the station wagon in the Porta Crib. My mother joked and said that I had a gasoline behind because I went everywhere with them. Sometimes it was fun...ice skating while they went skiing, but other times I remember being bored and car sick. My parents did their best, and I turned out just fine.

    I only had one child after being infertile for years. So, she was much more catered to than I was.
    Thank you for sharing! I always love hearing big age gap sibling stories. (Especially successful ones.) 😉
     

    jljohnston89

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Oct 4, 2019
    Yeah unfortunately kiddo had pretty severe reflux and colic so his first several months were a war (he literally got kicked out of daycare after 6 days because his fits were so epic). Getting a general schedule was one of the few things that helped and we now stick to it as much as possible. If we decide to break schedule because he has fallen asleep in the carrier or what have you, that's our call and our problem to deal with if it back fires.
     

    LSUmiss

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 8, 2014
    It's one thing when parents decide oh that'll work, it's another thing when outside forces think it's no big deal, even though those outside forces don't have to deal with the consequences.
    That’s my thing. I don’t care what anyone else does for their own family. But, I know what works for my kid & I don’t care what anyone thinks about that or how it affects their plans.
     

    pxidst119

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    May 10, 2010
    I’ve had this happen a few times. Each time it all kind of worked itself out. The other friends or family got in to their own plans once they got into the parks so they actually ended up wanting to go their separate ways much of the time. We hopped out of MK one day and met for drinks and some down time at a monorail resort while the kids ran around and met for rope drop another morning and both worked out great with minimal time commitments. The little time we actually spent together turned out to be fun and memorable but we were still able to enjoy much of our trip as planned.
     
  • Nancyg56

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 17, 2005
    We had a similar situation last year and based partially on the grandparents-assuming-they-could-come scenario, and partially because it was poor timing with some other travel we had to do last year, we ended up canceling our Disney trip last year. I posted a huge thread on it actually and got TONS of good advice.

    This year, I've got it framed way better. We're going for 4-5 days as just our immediate family (myself, husband and kids) and THEN we will meet up with extended family for the last few days. During that time, my husband and I have plans so the grandparents will be able to "do Disney" with the kids though I doubt they'll even take them into the parks (which is fine! They can take them for a character breakfast or dinner or to do mini golf and call it a success). In our scenario, the grandparents dislike Disney and noisy environments and get stressed out by kids and rides and crowds (they're also major nervous nellies) but also were adamant about not missing the "first" WDW trip (we've taken them to Disneyland twice without a peep from them), so it was just such a bad idea I couldn't figure out a way around it last year.

    I also resented the fact that the grandparents assumed they could come without being invited. It kind of boggles my mind.
    The first trip with our Kady was when she had just turned 4 years old. She was a Disney kid, and I watched all the movies with her as she would relax before naps and bedtime, (DD and DSIL lived with us at that time and I was her caregiver) so my DH decreed she was going to meet her "friends". DD and DSIL were kind enough to include us on her very first trip to WDW, but then her aunt found out, and invited herself along. Okay, DD was not thrilled but agreed. YOu know a trip is going South when a self proclaimed WDW vet determines she knows what is best for your family, from lodging to dining plans, to being gracious if the little family wanted time to themselves on their own vacation. I finally had to tell her that if the nonsense did not stop she could stay home.

    That trip was a wonderful vacation for our family, but a lesson learned about who is and is not a divisive factor on a trip. The next year we planned a trip but did not include her, and it hit the fan. I finally had to tell my MIL, (her mother) that I woudl have a mutiny on my hands if she came. I planned a trip fro just her, Kady my Godchild and myself, and that was the end, It was awful.

    I am the Nana in our family and DH and I get invited on many of our childrens vacation. We know how to respect each family, and will encourage tehm to make their own plans so they have time alone. I honestly think the best way to be excluded from any family trip is to behave like my SisIl did on the trips we included her on. There is never a need to compete for attention, be in charge of plans, or to insist on being in the center of everyones private time. We found the more we stood back, the closer we were drawn in.
     

    jessg

    DIsney we will see you yet again
    Joined
    Apr 24, 2014
    When ever I plan I tell who ever I figured would want to go and they have a couple of months to decide and thats it. Once I start solidifying plans they wont have a chance to tag along and expect to be planned for.
     

    jessg

    DIsney we will see you yet again
    Joined
    Apr 24, 2014
    When ever I plan I tell who ever I figured would want to go and they have a couple of months to decide and thats it. Once I start solidifying plans they wont have a chance to tag along and expect to be planned for.
     

    jljohnston89

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Oct 4, 2019
    Hey OP, how did the trip go? Was it more family drama or surprisingly calm? popcorn::
    Unfortunately the drama continued... after they cancelled the dinner because I asked that anyone who would be up close or holding the baby get flu and whooping cough vaccines and refrain from kissing (my family has those same rules) so my bf and I agreed that the only downtime we had was arrival night so we would meet up with them at the resort that night. Well that night comes and nothing is said until we're getting dinner at about 830 at our resort and he asked when we would see them. I said well they should come on cause it's getting late. He then told me they were in epcot and wouldn't be leaving the park. I told him we had agreed on that night because our magic kingdom day was busy. His response was that they would be in the same park and we would see them. We finally agreed to meet at 8 since it was before rope drop. Well when we got in the next morning he proceeds to tell me it was too early for them and his mom and godmother were still asleep. I dropped it and walked away pissed cause once again I was being lied to. So at 1130 he insists we just had to go from new fantasyland to the gates. We trekked up through and they call to tell him exactly where we were. So we go over and he offered up the hand sanitizer and his godmother refused saying she wouldn't be touching him. I handed him over to his sister who to her credit did talk to him. His mother had to be forced to hold him and they spent the 15 mins taking 1000 pictures but never really attempting to play or engage him. His godmother forced a hug on me at the end to get in a snide "I know this was just soo hard on you" no one else spoke or looked in my direction despite my saying hello and attempting to be cordial. Then later after fireworks they called again to say they were at the gates and to come. So with my 17 lb baby half asleep nursing on me. I had to navigate main street to say good bye rather than them coming to us. They expressed their disappointment that he was asleep and I informed them that he had had a long day and I wouldn't wake him up. They acted like I didn't speak and ignored me. So basically they got what they wanted which was to disrupt the day, in total with walk time it was about 2 hours out of our magic kingdom day. We missed several rides because we planned to ride once pm emh started and baby was asleep because he would sleep in his carrier through the ride but instead we had to fight our way up and back down main st and lost quite a lot of time.
     

    CoffeeKitten

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    May 17, 2019
    Oh, what a shame. Maybe in the future your BF could be more supportive. I don't think he should have made you trek all the way to the gates to meet the family. He should have told his mother where you were at and they meet you there. After all, this trip was YOUR trip to start with. But the family seems to be acting the way they always have. Earlier you said they wouldn't make the effort to go to WV to visit your baby and now at WDW they couldn't be bothered to go to Fantasyland to meet up with you. It's is as if they were acting like they planned a Disney trip and then you decided it would be a good time for them to meet the baby and crashed their vacation. I feel so sorry for you having to deal with those people.
     

    Summer2018

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 29, 2017
    Unfortunately the drama continued... after they cancelled the dinner because I asked that anyone who would be up close or holding the baby get flu and whooping cough vaccines and refrain from kissing (my family has those same rules) so my bf and I agreed that the only downtime we had was arrival night so we would meet up with them at the resort that night. Well that night comes and nothing is said until we're getting dinner at about 830 at our resort and he asked when we would see them. I said well they should come on cause it's getting late. He then told me they were in epcot and wouldn't be leaving the park. I told him we had agreed on that night because our magic kingdom day was busy. His response was that they would be in the same park and we would see them. We finally agreed to meet at 8 since it was before rope drop. Well when we got in the next morning he proceeds to tell me it was too early for them and his mom and godmother were still asleep. I dropped it and walked away pissed cause once again I was being lied to. So at 1130 he insists we just had to go from new fantasyland to the gates. We trekked up through and they call to tell him exactly where we were. So we go over and he offered up the hand sanitizer and his godmother refused saying she wouldn't be touching him. I handed him over to his sister who to her credit did talk to him. His mother had to be forced to hold him and they spent the 15 mins taking 1000 pictures but never really attempting to play or engage him. His godmother forced a hug on me at the end to get in a snide "I know this was just soo hard on you" no one else spoke or looked in my direction despite my saying hello and attempting to be cordial. Then later after fireworks they called again to say they were at the gates and to come. So with my 17 lb baby half asleep nursing on me. I had to navigate main street to say good bye rather than them coming to us. They expressed their disappointment that he was asleep and I informed them that he had had a long day and I wouldn't wake him up. They acted like I didn't speak and ignored me. So basically they got what they wanted which was to disrupt the day, in total with walk time it was about 2 hours out of our magic kingdom day. We missed several rides because we planned to ride once pm emh started and baby was asleep because he would sleep in his carrier through the ride but instead we had to fight our way up and back down main st and lost quite a lot of time.
    I am so sorry.
     
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    I'm so sorry OP so much more could be said i response to it all but I just hope you guys give WDW another shot...without the family no ifs ands or buts so you can experience it with your child without all that extra unnecessary stress. What a bummer for that to have all went down like that :sad2:
     



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