High School Yearbook question

[bsnyder]

DS just started his senior year in high school. It's become customary for the senior parents to buy ads in the yearbook and have a page, 1/2 page or 1/4 page as a kind of tribute to your kid....with pictures, maybe a poem or inspirational saying, or just a good luck type message.

The mother of DS's girlfriend wants us to go in together to purchase a full page ad. The layout for this ad would have pictures of her daughter on the top, pictures of the two of them in the middle (including one large round picture in the middle of the page) and pictures of DS along the bottom half of the page.

I really don't like this idea. These kids have been "going steady" since 8th grade, but in the last year or so the relationship has gotten a lot more intense. They appear very, very serious about each other. But....9 months is a long time in the life of a teen. By the time the yearbook comes out at the end of the school year, what if they're not even speaking to each other?

So what do ya'll think? I don't really know what to say to the mom. And I'm afraid maybe I'm overreacting. In the interest of full disclosure, I'll tell you, I like the girlfriend and her family very much, but I do feel like all three of them (mom and dad included) are just too intense about the relationship. Can't put my finger on it exactly, but it makes me uncomfortable.

 

[GailT]

That woldn't be something I would do. Yes, a yearbook should be all memories of the school years but to put out a whole add on their daughter and your son, NO WAY JOSE! That is also giving a message to other HS seniors they are special, almost stuck up. I agree with you, not a good idea

 

[Dan Murphy]

As I read the 1st and 2nd paragraphs, I was already thinking the last sentence in your 3rd paragraph. My guy here was in a VERY similar relationship back then, all through HS, and now long gone. I would not do it if it was me.

 

[Loubon]

I agree as well. If they break up that memory will forever be there in the book and at a later date may not be as happy as other memories.

Now if they want an ad in the DIS Class Yearbook......

 

[bsnyder]

Originally posted by Loubon


Now if they want an ad in the DIS Class Yearbook......

LOL!

 

[jsmith]

Interesting-been there, did not do that. you could each purchase a 1/2 page and get them printed on the same page so they have the best of both worlds-their own ad but they are still "together".
We just wound up purchasing a full page for our DS and the GF's family did the same. There is one picture of them together in each ad-but it is more because it is the homecoming royality pic than anything else.

 

[evilqueenfan]

Another one here who would not do that. DD went with the same boy from 9th grade all the way thru high school, into her first year of college,his second year. They were the sweetheart couple of the school and everyone thought they would stay together forever. But when college came for her, she found out that more existed than this little piece of the world. I would do your own page for your DS.

 

[FOJMO]

I wouldn't do it. It's far too expensive to look back and regret later.

My DD doesn't have a BF, but she emphatically said NO to any kind of senior yearbook ad for this, her last year in HS. She (and we) think it's WAY to expensive and such a waste of good money. The same with class rings -- waste of money again. After you begin college, you don't think so much about HS any more, just like when you were in HS you didn't think much about elementary school any more.

They really try to get you for everything when it comes to your Senior year. We just paid over $300 for senior pictures! And the only reason we did that was 1) so she could HAVE her picture in the yearbook and 2) so we would have pictures to put in frames and give as Christmas presents this year to the grandparents.

College is going to cost enough, thank you, so we need to budget where we can. I

 

[snoopy]

I don't blame you, Bet, I wouldn't be going for that either.

As you know, John and I were together throughout high school and college, and have been married 17 years, but we're not the average high school sweethearts. Most go their separate ways.

Not to mention, I think that both your son and his girlfriend should have their own ads, after all, they have two different identities. Even if they do end up becoming more serious, and perhaps married, I think both would want to look back on their high school memories from an individual perspective, rather then a couple joined at the hip.

I think I would just tell the woman thank you, but I prefer my son have his own ad, and leave it at that.

 

[Disney845]

Just to give you an opinion from another view-point. I dated my "first love" all through High School and most of college. In fact I moved across the country with him because of a job opportunity he had. We "knew" we would get married, and were even in the beginning stages of building a house. Long story short...it didn't work out. We were extremely close to each others families and would spend vacations and holidays together. We were very much a "couple." We did not get a yearbook ad together. (We did have one of those photo cakes at our graduation party with our Prom picture on it!! ) We were one of a small handful of couples in HS who had been together for the duration. I would say there were at least three couples (including my ex and myself) that I and many others in school and even our families would have been "sure" were going to stay together and get married and live happily ever after. One of the couples (friends of ours) did in fact get a yearbook ad together. Flash forward to our early twenties and not one single "serious couple" I knew in HS is still together. Even if we were still together I would not care if we had a yearbook ad together. I am more curious as to what the reunions will be like when all the people see that we didn't stay together.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I dated my DH since I was a sr. and he went to another school, and although we have been together a total of 22 1/2 years (married 17) I would not do this. I teach at a high school and know how fluid relationships can be. Several "serious" relationships will break up in the spring of senior year.
Also, picture your son's future wife looking at his yearbook--if this future wife is NOT the girl he dates now, how will she feel? Will this start an argument? How will his kids feel looking at dad's "old" yearbook if there is a huge picture of dad with another girl?
Robin M.

 

[nsyncraider17]

I agree that the combined ad would be a bad idea, I've known plenty of couples in high school who everyone thought would last forever, but they're over by the time graduation comes.

But, if you plan to put in a page for your son alone, I think you should definitely include some pictures of them together. Even if they aren't together forever, if he's dated the same girl all through high school, it seems appropriate to honor that a little bit in his yearbook.

 

[grinningghost]

Don't do it!!!! I went steady with the same guy from the time I was in 10th grade until I was 23 years old. At the time of the breakup, it was HORRIBLE - I still can hardly even talk or think about this guy without feeling sick to my stomach, things got that bad. EVERYONE in high school thought we'd be together forever, even me. But boy am I glad I never did anything permanent like your yearbook situation. Again - Don't do it. Things can change and you don't want your son to never want to look at his yearbook again.

 

[bsnyder]

Well, I'm glad to see everyone has the same reaction that I did, that this is NOT a good idea.

But I am left wondering, what in the world is this mom thinking????

And nsyncraider17, I had already starting getting together some photos for DS's ad and I was already planning to include one picture of him and the girlfriend.

 

[Lanshark]

I wouldn't do it. If they do break up can you imagine how awkward that will be.

 

[Dodie]

I would absolutely NOT do this. You are right about 9 months being a long time...

How awful it would be if something did happen and they and all of their friends had to look at that layout for the rest of their lives.

Sounds like the other mom already has them married.

 

[DocRafiki]

I would do it. I think you're all overestimating the value of a yearbook picture. Look at it for the rest of your lives? Maybe a total of 20 times for most people. A few people will keep them on their shelves for the rest of their lives. Most people I know don't even have theirs any more.

I got my Senior portraits taken with my boyfriend. Everyone told me not to do it... what if we broke up? Well you know what? We did break up a year and a half later. It's not like this portfolio would be displayed in my parent's house more than a year after graduation anyway (they never were, actually). Even though the breakup was horrible and led me into a major depression, I don't regret the photos at all. They are what they are -- a reminder of my senior year. He was a huge part of my senior year. I had to look at a lot of pictures of us together when I went to my high school reunion. So what? It was one night. I was more worried about seeing HIM than pictures of us. Tons of couples had broken up and were reminded of their former relationships. And if a future wife gets upset over the fact that her husband had a girlfriend in high school... what a psycho!

 

[Gette88]

I agree with everyone, I wouldn't do it.
Imagine if they break-up and he marries someday and has children of his own. He may not be comfortable showing his DW and their children his yearbook. Just a thought.

 

[vald1977]

I agree it's not a good idea. Even if they don't break up and do eventually end up married and all, the yearbook ad should be about each of their individual accomplishments throughout high school. By doing a combined ad, the focus turns completely to the relationship. That really shouldn't be what their high school experience was solely about. I do agree to put a picture of them together in their seperate ads.

Also, it would be HORRIBLE if they did break up before the yearbook comes out and they have to look at that ad !