High School class of 2011

[cruisnfamily]

I am so enjoying having DD19 home. Not that she has been at home all that much. DD opted to take College Algebra this summer at the local community college which is about 2 miles from the house. She has decided to live at home to save some money--our FAFSA was so low (EFC=0!) that she qualifies for the Pell Grant, which will pay for all her tuition & fees, and some of her books. Her goal is to graduate with very limited student loans. So far, she's up to $5,000, a very manageable figure I think.

DD wants to move out of her room upstairs next to ours and move down to the basement. We have a small bedroom down there and a larger sitting area. She has washed the walls all by herself--and that was a job because it was extremely dusty & dirty from sitting unused for a couple years. She has put a couple of potential paint colors on the wall. Once we get the old border off the upper walls, she'll start her painting. Then we'll start on the sitting area. I think this will make her a nice little private apartment and it doesn't cost us a thing.

DD had her orientation for her culinary program today. They saw the kitchens and the cafe that the culinary students run on campus. She is very excited and all she has to do is pass the Algebra now and she'll start the culinary program in the fall. She is very happy.

Our next decision is whether to charge DD rent. She does some of the cooking, sewing, gardening and laundry so I'm inclined to let that *be* her rent contribution.She just got a job working at the YMCA at their summer camp and she hopes that will continue in the fall with their afterschool programs.

It is good to have a personal chef

My DH occasionally talks about charging DD rent when she's home on breaks or whatever. I repeatedly tell him that we will NOT charge our children rent while they are students in college. After college, yes! But while enrolled as full time students, no! If she is self supporting as far as her spending money needs, that's all I ask.

 

[geffric]

Well little did I know that everything I thought was wong..LOL
DS got an internship at a regional bank..working 40 hours/week.it was rough the first week but he is doing great now. He looks so grown up in a suit and tie every day.
He is Happy at school, doing okay but not in trouble or anything. of course since gf is there , he is happy, why not
He is getting an apartment with 3 other guys for fall..{Personnally I liked the dorm and felt he was safe..but he signed the lease and didnt ask us ..so...
He has been uber busy, with work, 2 online classes from school, his band and the gf..he is always over there ..oh well..

My oldest DS graduated from college this year, talk about a culture shock!
He is currently working this summer in a BSA camp, and then


But DH and I are celebrating his graduation and no more double tution..I prob said this before but my nephew is getting married next week in Barcelona..at first i was just going to go..then DH decided to join..( of course both kids wanted to go as long as we were paying, but NO..they went to Alaska with us last year , so they can stay home and work and watch the cat..)

 

[cruisnfamily]

So DD left yesterday to return to college. She'll have an apt this year but can't move in until 8/17. She's currently homeless and camping on friend's couches for sorority spirit week. Then she'll return home for 1 day and go back for recruitment. Then her dad and I will move her into her apartment without her because she'll be busy with her sorority activities on move in day. Crazy, right?

School starts 8/20....and so begins sophomore year.

 

[minkydog]

I'm about to lose my mind with DD19. We think she probably failed the Algebra class she took this summer. If so, she can't enter the culinary program until she passes the math. That means that they will automatically delete her two culinary classes she is currently registered for and will need to draw new classes (including math again) to equal 12 credits. Otherwise she's going to lose her insurance. Registration closes next week and School starts next Friday.

I have all but begged her to make an appt with her advisor to get this thing done! But she has every excuse in the world. I believe she is mildly depressed--she recently started an antidepressant, but she refuses to seek out therapy. She knows about the insurance thing but I don't think she grasps it entirely. Without insurance she will not be able to afford her meds or BCPs, let alone doctor visits for potential illness or injury.

Much as I'd like to just do it myself, I believe she needs to take responsibilty. Unfortunately, the consequences of NOT doing it are harsh. Right not she is so involved with the boyfriend I think she is neglecting her goals. He's a great guy, but SHE is driving me crazy over this!

 

[minkydog]

Happy to report...DD FINALLY saw her advisor and scheduled her classes! Although I know she did not pass the Algebra, I refuse to ask her about it. She is being very testy right now. I guess she's upset that she couldn't start her culinary classes(her program requires that she pass the English and Math first. English is done, so Math is her big holdup.) I figure she's in the driver's seat now. I may remind her to order her books online--Im sure there is a way to pay for them with her financial aid.

DD job ended Friday. She has been working at the YMCA summer camp and doing a bang up job, I hear. She had hoped to be kept on in the after school program and there is still the possibility for that. But it may be October or later. In the meantime, she'll need to find something part-time so she can put gas in her car. We're not going to ask for rent. DD is only home about 2-3 nights/week, staying at her BFs house a lot. She's eating over there almost every day, so not using many resources at home. There was talk at one time of redoing the basement bedroom for her, but she has that project on hold. It will not surprise me at all if she moves in with the boyfriend. Not that I'd be thrilled with that, but what are ya gonna do? She an adult paying her own way through college, picking up her heathcare & prescription co-pays, buying her own clothes and most of her own food.

 

[maxaroni]

My DS was a 2011 HS graduate and sent him off to college last September. I found that the whole senior year was very difficult emotionally for me. I'd cry at everything and was a basket case last summer. Managed to get him unpacked and settled, didn't cry on the way home. However, the first weekend he came home (only 3 weeks into it), I was a total wreck sending him back Sunday evening on the train. Sending him back after a month off at Christmas was horrible. Fast forward to this year...my DS19 decided to transfer to community college for this year as he had a very difficult time his first semester last year. We figured it was an adjustment but during spring break he had a major meltdown and couldn't go back to campus, thus not completing his 2nd semester. We are working through that and we all are so thrilled to have him home. It was an adjustment sending him off and not having him home, to having him home...it is now a whole different feeling than when he was in HS but in good ways. I'm so proud of the young man that he has become and continues to be. Good luck to everyone sending their sophmores off to school once again.

 

[minkydog]

My DS was a 2011 HS graduate and sent him off to college last September. I found that the whole senior year was very difficult emotionally for me. I'd cry at everything and was a basket case last summer. Managed to get him unpacked and settled, didn't cry on the way home. However, the first weekend he came home (only 3 weeks into it), I was a total wreck sending him back Sunday evening on the train. Sending him back after a month off at Christmas was horrible. Fast forward to this year...my DS19 decided to transfer to community college for this year as he had a very difficult time his first semester last year. We figured it was an adjustment but during spring break he had a major meltdown and couldn't go back to campus, thus not completing his 2nd semester. We are working through that and we all are so thrilled to have him home. It was an adjustment sending him off and not having him home, to having him home...it is now a whole different feeling than when he was in HS but in good ways. I'm so proud of the young man that he has become and continues to be. Good luck to everyone sending their sophmores off to school once again.

I get it. My DD19 had a very hard adjustment last fall. She was going to school 4 hours from home, so she could only come home every 4-5 weeks. I went to visit her in October for homecoming and I was SHOCKED to see that she had lost about 15-lbs! She looked like a skeleton, all 102-lbs of her! Once she started talking she just poured her heart out. I think she cried for about 4 hours, to the point that she was vomiting. I had no idea she was so unhappy. DD just wanted to come home and go to the local CC. Fine with me. I was so worried about her. Ultimately, things got better. DD got plugged in at work and met some students who had similar interests. One had an apt and they would get together on weekends and cook up a storm. DD decided to finish out the year at the university and then start CC this fall in culinary arts.

I'm very proud of DD for working through this. She is happy to be back home and is thriving now. She learned a lot about herself during her year away. Most of all, she learned that she had the strength to get through difficult times. I wish your son all the best. Some kids have a hard time with this growing up thing. University isn't for everyone.

 

[maxaroni]

I get it. My DD19 had a very hard adjustment last fall. She was going to school 4 hours from home, so she could only come home every 4-5 weeks. I went to visit her in October for homecoming and I was SHOCKED to see that she had lost about 15-lbs! She looked like a skeleton, all 102-lbs of her! Once she started talking she just poured her heart out. I think she cried for about 4 hours, to the point that she was vomiting. I had no idea she was so unhappy. DD just wanted to come home and go to the local CC. Fine with me. I was so worried about her. Ultimately, things got better. DD got plugged in at work and met some students who had similar interests. One had an apt and they would get together on weekends and cook up a storm. DD decided to finish out the year at the university and then start CC this fall in culinary arts.

I'm very proud of DD for working through this. She is happy to be back home and is thriving now. She learned a lot about herself during her year away. Most of all, she learned that she had the strength to get through difficult times. I wish your son all the best. Some kids have a hard time with this growing up thing. University isn't for everyone.

That is wonderful for your daughter We had hoped that DS would be able to finish the semester but he was in bad shape He tried to work through it all by himself but it only got him more over the edge. To see him break down sobbing and to hear what was going on, it was heartbreaking. At the end of the day, we want what is best for our children. DS still plans on a college degree but being home and saving money too. He isn't sure where he will go after CC but plans on commuting somewhere.

 

[minkydog]

That is wonderful for your daughter We had hoped that DS would be able to finish the semester but he was in bad shape He tried to work through it all by himself but it only got him more over the edge. To see him break down sobbing and to hear what was going on, it was heartbreaking. At the end of the day, we want what is best for our children. DS still plans on a college degree but being home and saving money too. He isn't sure where he will go after CC but plans on commuting somewhere.

*nods* I truly do understand. If my DD had insisted on coming home, I would have brought her. It was her decision to stay and she managed.

When I was in my 2nd year of nursing school I had a debilitating episode of depression. It was all I could do to drag myself out of bed and show up for clinicals. I was tearful all the time and contemplating suicide. My nursing program was small, so my instructors knew me pretty well. One of them called my mom the week prior to Thanksgiving and told her to come get me. They allowed me to leave the program briefly and take my finals when I got back from Christmas break. After 6 weeks at home I was ready to go back in January.

Unfortunately, back in that day people didn't go to the doctor for depression, at least not in Alabama they didn't. I just had to struggle through the best I could and hope I didn't hurt myself too badly. Today it's different. Taking meds for anxiety or depression doesn't have nearly the negative connotation that it once did. When DD came home from school in May, the first thing I did was take her to a doctor. She discussed the depression and some other physical problems with the doctor. DD has been taking an antidepressant for about 6 weeks now and she is feeling a whoooooole lot better. I haven't gotten her to agree to therapy yet, but hopefully soon. I'm just so happy to have my little girl back.

 

[maxaroni]

*nods* I truly do understand. If my DD had insisted on coming home, I would have brought her. It was her decision to stay and she managed.

When I was in my 2nd year of nursing school I had a debilitating episode of depression. It was all I could do to drag myself out of bed and show up for clinicals. I was tearful all the time and contemplating suicide. My nursing program was small, so my instructors knew me pretty well. One of them called my mom the week prior to Thanksgiving and told her to come get me. They allowed me to leave the program briefly and take my finals when I got back from Christmas break. After 6 weeks at home I was ready to go back in January.

Unfortunately, back in that day people didn't go to the doctor for depression, at least not in Alabama they didn't. I just had to struggle through the best I could and hope I didn't hurt myself too badly. Today it's different. Taking meds for anxiety or depression doesn't have nearly the negative connotation that it once did. When DD came home from school in May, the first thing I did was take her to a doctor. She discussed the depression and some other physical problems with the doctor. DD has been taking an antidepressant for about 6 weeks now and she is feeling a whoooooole lot better. I haven't gotten her to agree to therapy yet, but hopefully soon. I'm just so happy to have my little girl back.

Can relate oh so well. DS went to his doctor who recommended a therapist who he now sees regularly. He's also on an antidepressant. My DS is back and I will be forever grateful that his girlfriend called to get us home as he was having that meltdown before heading back after spring break.

M dad had issues back in the early 70s and it was all hush hush. I've had issues and have been on antidepressants. To see your child suffer is heartbreaking. DS wanted to go away to school but quickly realized it wasn't what he expected. He had the roommates from h*ll which started things off on the wrong foot. He wanted to be back home where he felt safe. His girlfriend is here and some HS buddies that either commute to CC or somewhat local 4 year colleges. He learned a lot about himself and learned to be more independent

 

[minkydog]

Well, DD just got some very bad news...Apparently she was put on Academic Suspension because her GPA dropped below 2.0. She was never notified until she got a letter today. She called the registrar to find out about it and they say there's nothing they can do--she has to sit out a semester then re-apply for Winter/Spring semester. Last semester she failed her required math so she took it again over the summer...and failed it again! Her other grades were Bs & Cs, so I think those two Fs did her in.

Now DD is crying and I'm upset for her. All she wants to do is learn to cook. She's not trying to get a big fat degree. She just wants to cook for people. DD still needs to pass the math, so she can't do that until January, which means she won't enter the culinary program until next Summer *at the earliest--it could be Fall!* But the thing that makes me the most upset is that she may lose her insurance. With our insurance, if she drops off for any reason she can never be added back on (we fall into a special category for people who retired on disability.) If she loses her insurance she will have to get real creative so she can keep her BCPs and antidepressants. I know she can go down to the health dept for that stuff, but they make it so hard to get. Arrrrrggh!

Well, the only positive note is now that she's not going to be taking classes she'll have plenty of time to get a JOB.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I am so sorry Minkey! Could she take the math class at community college or even on line and transfer it?

 

[minkydog]

I am so sorry Minkey! Could she take the math class at community college or even on line and transfer it?

Not while she's on academic suspension. She's totally out for 1 semester. Needless to say, she is seriously upset. But she did talk about it with me for a bit. She plans to start looking for a job in the food services industry and she talked about doing some afterschool programs with kids--she's a really good teacher with young kids.

 

[minkydog]

UPDATE---The crying has stopped finally and DD is ready to move on. I took her out for Girls Night Out--buying shoes, having dinner and a pedicure. That's always good for brightening her up. She talked for a long time, almost 2 hours straight. She said she is sad but she sort of sees this as an opportunity. DD said she really never took the time to look deeply inside herself and think about what she wants to do with her life.

We talked about a lot of things. She worked at a YMCA day camp this summer and really excelled at that. She still wants to do some culinary thing, but she's also talking about working with young children. Today she put in 2 job apps in food services and she plans to put in 2 apps a day until she finds something she likes. At the end of our visit DD said, "I was really upset yesterday, but today i kinda feel like this is a gift. College will still be there when i'm ready to go back and maybe I will be more sure of what i want to do." I think she has made a very mature decision and I'm really proud of her. She is embarrassed, of course, because all her friends are going back to school this week but she knows that life goes on. It's not over, by a long shot.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I am so glad she is feeling better. I hope she can use the time to find what she really wants to do. It could be a blessing that she is forced to stop and look at what she wants. How nice that you both got to spend some time together talking it out!

 

[Disneycrazymom]

When is move in day for the kids?

DS went on Wed to help with welcome weekend. We didn't even go with him. You guys should have seen his little car - loaded in every available space! But he got it all there!

 

[minkydog]

I am so glad she is feeling better. I hope she can use the time to find what she really wants to do. It could be a blessing that she is forced to stop and look at what she wants. How nice that you both got to spend some time together talking it out!

ANOTHER UPDATE!

DD got a call last night from a local diner owner about coming on as a general Gal Friday. He wants her to work the back of the kitchen doing general clean up & prep work. And in the afternoons when things slow down, he wants her to help him do sweets(her specialty!) and ready-to-cook casseroles that people can buy and take home. She's over there right now ironing out the details, but it sounds like this could become the equivelent of a paid internship. Woot!

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Wow that is such good news!

 

[ctinct]

Took my daughter back yesterday. Classes don't start till next week, but she had to return early for job training. Thankfully one of her suitemates is there so she won't be too lonely.

She still had tears, but far fewer than last year.

 

[cruisnfamily]

No posts in over a year? How are our college juniors doing?