Here's A Question for Everyone

[HelenePA]

Oh crap....

We have an extensive wine collection.
A kegerator
and a newly acquired Margarita machine.

Certainly not a daily event, but a girl has to be prepared.

party at your house just dont tell the OP

 

[NHdisneylover]

OP--I have had more time to think since posting on the way out the door this morning. I remember your thread about the Halloween drinking from this fall. I find it unusual that this would bother you so much that you not only posted about it at the time (pretty normal for any of us for whatever random issue is on our minds that day) but that now, 5 months later, you are still thinking about it enough to have started another thread on the topic. If I remember correctly (I will have to try to find the old thread after I post this) in the other thread you said the parents with the drinks were not drunk or out of line. You just felt it was inappropriate to be drinking in front of kids and that parents could not properly supervise their children while having a drink. I just can't imagine ANY parenting decision that I disagree with but that does not put children in true harms way that I would still be concerned about 5 months later. Is there something more to the story that makes this so important to you? I am truly very curious and feel like I must be missing something here.

ETA--I can't seem to find the previous thread. Maybe it was not you but someone else with a near identical issue (parents with a cooler full of beer in a wagon going around the neighborhood at Halloween) or maybe the thread was deleted. Anyway, even if that wasn't you, things that happened on Halloween are in your OP as the example which still strikes me as being much more bothered by this than most people would be and I am wondering if you can fill in the blanks. Thanks.

 

[ols386]

I guess I don't see anything wrong with them having a cooler of beer while walking around with their kids Trick-or-Treating. They are walking, not driving. Personally, it wouldn't even cross my mind to do this, but that's probably because I very very seldom drink any kind of alcohol.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't understand some of the vitriol towards the OP. She seems to be asking an honest question, and doesn't seem to be judging you for what you do. She just wants to get a feel for what other people do and whether her position is draconian or not. No need for hatin'.

Shen most certainly is judging. As a lawyer I'm really surprised you missed that aspect of her post

 

[Pakey]

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic (my mother finally decided to get help when I refused to allow her to hold my first child and she's now been sober for 30 years). I always worry that I have that tendency toward an addictive personality. I do enjoy a great martini and I give myself a free pass while on vacation. Otherwise, I probably only have one alcoholic beverage a month. I don't count the days but I try to make sure it's a special occasion to have one.

My husband has a glass of red wine with dinner every night.

 

[Deb in IA]

I don't drink alcoholic beverages at all..

Same for me and my husband.

 

[kristilew]

OP--I have had more time to think since posting on the way out the door this morning. I remember your thread about the Halloween drinking from this fall. I find it unusual that this would bother you so much that you not only posted about it at the time (pretty normal for any of us for whatever random issue is on our minds that day) but that now, 5 months later, you are still thinking about it enough to have started another thread on the topic. If I remember correctly (I will have to try to find the old thread after I post this) in the other thread you said the parents with the drinks were not drunk or out of line. You just felt it was inappropriate to be drinking in front of kids and that parents could not properly supervise their children while having a drink. I just can't imagine ANY parenting decision that I disagree with but that does not put children in true harms way that I would still be concerned about 5 months later. Is there something more to the story that makes this so important to you? I am truly very curious and feel like I must be missing something here.

ETA--I can't seem to find the previous thread. Maybe it was not you but someone else with a near identical issue (parents with a cooler full of beer in a wagon going around the neighborhood at Halloween) or maybe the thread was deleted. Anyway, even if that wasn't you, things that happened on Halloween are in your OP as the example which still strikes me as being much more bothered by this than most people would be and I am wondering if you can fill in the blanks. Thanks.

I remember this too. Not sure if it was OP but I remember the poster thinking it was just awful that there was drinking.

Thank goodness, we live in a neighborhood where there is beer with Trick or Treating. Really, how else could one stand all those little kids hyped up on candy??

DH and I have a couple of beers most nights. We enjoy the taste, and the relaxing ritual of sitting and talking over our day over a drink. We also enjoy drinking at the beach, on vacation, out to dinner, or just in general. We have friends who don't drink, and they are not judgy about it at all. They just remind us to bring a beverage if we're coming over.

We don't drink wine b/c we're both allergic to the sulfates and we don't drink hard alcohol because one drink's worth makes us way too tipsy.

We do drink in front of DD, and also have many discussions w/her about the differences in how teenage bodies metabolize alcohol vs. adult bodies, about how alcohol can cloud judgement and lead to other problems like date rape, and about the dangers of addiction.

Our motto is "all things in moderation" and it works just as well for drinking, sweets, shopping, computer time, or anything else that can control one's life if one lets it.

 

[Quiksilvr]

Shen most certainly is judging. As a lawyer I'm really surprised you missed that aspect of her post

She's not judging in the way you seem to think she's judging, at least from my reading of this. I haven't gone back to read the OP, but my recollection of what she said is that there are some people in her neighborhood who drink alcohol around kids and that she thinks this behavior is questionable. Obviously there's a judgment call there on her part, however, she follows it up by asking whether she's being too hard on these people and she acknowledges that her position could be the one that's questionable, which is why she posted her post in the first place.

I don't see why that's something to get upset about. She's not judging you. She's asking for thoughts.

 

[scanne]

OP here....I knew this post would bring a wide variety of replies.
I'm not judging - I'm just thinking about my take on all of this. Am I being a harsh critic or a concerned mom? And to those who asked, I do occasionally have a drink when we are out to dinner or on vacation. And I do consume the drinks in front of my kids and explain that the drink is a "grown up" drink and that daddy has to drive (dh doesn't drink when I do if we are out and vice versa).

But what sparked my thread was a comment a neighbor made about goin out and getting "blitzed." It definitely took me by surprise the way it was said and that made me think about the Halloween thing and that it seems to me that all of these people we talk to and our kids play with drink with the intention to get impaired....I'm not trying to say she is wrong but it just makes me think that on a few years will her kids think that getting "blitzed" is ok and will my kids get drawn into it? I can tell my kids that underage drinking is wrong, that mom and dad don't approve - blah blah blah. But, yes, teenagers will be teenagers. I just hope that the behaviors some of my neighbors demonstrate are
discusse with their kids like many of you stated in your posts. Setting good examples is what parenting is about. Discussing tough issues (like drinking, drugs and sex) is our job as well. But the example I hope to set is one of responsibility for ones actions. I think my original post was valid and non-judgemental.

And if you felt I was judging you, well all I can say is how can I judge you if I don't even know you? I was simply asking a question to see what others felt was appropriate.

 

[LaurenLC]

I'm pregnant, so I'm not partaking in alcohol beverages at this time. I actually haven't had a drink since July 4th weekend '09.... Prior to pregnancy I might have had a glass of wine once every 4-6 weeks. My husband might have a drink (beer or wine) once a month. We never drink hard liquor except for parties or weddings.... The funny thing is that we joined a wine club about 4 years ago.... We probably have 40 bottles of really GREAT wine at the hose right now. If you came over, you would think we were really big drinkers

 

[Alesia]

And if you felt I was judging you, well all I can say is how can I judge you if I don't even know you? I was simply asking a question to see what others felt was appropriate.

I don't feel like you're judging me, but I do think that, based on the info in your original post, you are judging your neighbors a little too harshly.

 

[wdwfan16]

Anybody who drinks less than me is a party pooper and anybody who drinks more than me is a drunk.

 

[Tinijocaro]

"Enjoying a fine wine or beer" is just another way of saying "drinking alchohol".
It's not any better because you "enjoy" it rather than "drink" it. FTR, I drink wine a few times a week. It's all alchohol, no matter how "fine" it is.

 

[scanne]

I don't feel like you're judging me, but I do think that, based on the info in your original post, you are judging your neighbors a little too harshly.

I don't want to been seen as a .

My DH said the same thing as you....I was trying to see what others thought, especially if kids are involved. But to each his own, I suppose. And that, my friends, is what I need to come to grips with. I'll do what I can to parent my kids the way I see appropriate and hope that they make wise choices.

 

[mhsjax]

I would think the ones who are hiding their actions are the ones with problems. I think it's more responsible to set an example for your kids by showing them you can enjoy a drink without going overboard with it.

My parents didn't drink at all, so that made alcohol extremely mysterious and enticing for me.

I don't drink, my parents didn't drink. I think if you want to drink fine, as long as you are responsible. But to say that not drinking in from of kids makes it enticing is crazy and also saying drinking in front of your kids teaches them to be responsible with it is crazy. Some kids will drink, some won't, and it may not matter what the parents do. Everyone just admit they like to have a drink or they don't, end of discussion. Also I am Irish, Scottish and German. I don't drink. For the record, hubby does sometimes, friends to quite a bit, no biggie to me. I have also walked around the neighborhood at halloween with my friends who were drinking while out with the kids, again, no biggie.

 

[Mermaid02]

I don't think I drink enough.............

 

[cteddiesgirl]

I don't drink often. And when I do, it's never with the purpose of getting drunk. I grew up with a parent who drank alcohol on regular basis. I learned early on that alcohol was only for adults. Even though I did sneak a drink occasionally while underage, I never went on a binge.

 

[krcit]

Anybody who drinks less than me is a party pooper and anybody who drinks more than me is a drunk.

I drink beer when I go out to Happy Hour I love beer. I also know how many I can have without getting stupid(er) and having a headache the next day. I don't drink when I go out to dinner because I get too full. We get together with our neighbors about once a month and I usually drink then. My kids see me and DH drink. No drinking and driving, no getting drunk.

A big pet peeve of mine is when other people comment on whether you are drinking or not. There have been a few times when I haven't wanted a drink and just have soda and I have a friend who always used to give me a hard time about it until I pointed out to her how rude it is. Another girl when I was pregnant with my oldest dd(16 years ago) saw me with a beer in a glass and went off on me. It was a non-alchoholic beer which I would have told her IF she had bothered to ask but instead started saying 'How could you drink a beer? Do you know what that can do to your baby?" I told her to mind her business and get out of my face. Don't mess with an 8 months pg lady! Anyway, my point is it is not anyone's business if you drink or if you don't drink. On that note, I have to go finalize my happy Hour plans for this weekend Cheers!!

 

[Pigeon]

I don't drink at all. I have too many alcoholic cousins to think somebody who shares their gene pool should be drinking.

But I'm not anti-responsible drinking. Dh has a glass of wine or a beer a couple of times a week. And he does it openly and doesn't try to hide it from the kids. I don't think drinking responsibly is something to be ashamed of.

The kids know why I don't drink, and they've seen from a distance what alcoholism can do to people. They know that drinking is an adult thing. I'll be fine even with giving them a half glass of wine at home for special occasions when they are teenagers if they want it.

 

[Disney Doll]

My mother didn't drink at all. My father was a very occasional social drinker. I am a social drinker as well. If my MD told me tomorrow that I could never have another drink, it wouldn't faze me.