Help!

[Luvableoldonkey]

Help! I need advice! My df and I got engaged almost 3 years ago and have been planning on having it in Disney from the second I said yes (well, I've been planning on it since I was 15...) Before we asked our bridal party to be in the wedding we asked them if they would be able and willing to come to Disney. My Df’s friend from HS is kind of socially awkward to say the least and we didn’t expect him to say that he would come, but he surprised us and told us he would “defiantly be there.” Well, time started to pass and everyone was making their reservations except for him. So we asked him again if he was defiantly coming, this time he responded with…”yes, I wouldn’t miss it.” To make a long story short we are about two and a half months away from the wedding and we finally asked him again if he was for sure coming, to which he responded…”Oh, I can’t” We are only having immediate family, and one of my friends come to the actual wedding on the 14th and then we are having a reception for everyone else on the 18th at home. The reception at home is going to be very formal and include everything that would be done at a normal wedding reception, ie: the bridal party introductions and dance. So my question is should we include him as a member of the bridal party at home or just have it without him?

 

[BecBennett]

Ouch, that sucks, and is very rude of him to leave it this late to let you know

Personally I'd be tempted to say "Bugger you, you can't come!" But I know that's not the way it works.

Because it's just going to be such a small ceremony, and then the bigger AHR,
I'd probably still have him as a GM. Unless of course you're planning on replacing him with someone else in the actual ceremony, then that person should still be in the bridal party for the AHR.

Do you know for sure that he's coming to the AHR? He's not going to change his mind on that too is he?

 

[Luvableoldonkey]

Do you know for sure that he's coming to the AHR? He's not going to change his mind on that too is he?

Thanks for the reply We have no idea what he is doing. He is being very vague and isn't really answering us when we ask him things about the wedding. So much for 15 years of friendship! We don't want to replace him at the actual ceremony. We feel like asking someone now would be rude on our part being that it is so close to the wedding.

 

[pixie921]

Thanks for the reply We have no idea what he is doing. He is being very vague and isn't really answering us when we ask him things about the wedding. So much for 15 years of friendship! We don't want to replace him at the actual ceremony. We feel like asking someone now would be rude on our part being that it is so close to the wedding.

The same thing happened to us for our wedding. He had been my dh's best friend for years, and dh and I met because this friend was dating my best friend. They broke up, but we fell in love! Even though he knew she was going to be my MOH, he still agreed to be in the wedding, but I think he eventually just hated the idea of them being in the wedding party together too much and being a typical guy, just kept avoiding us and the subject 'til it finally dawned on everyone he wasn't gonna be there.

We also didn't replace him ... we just had one less groomsman than bridesmaid. And if he's not in your actual wedding party, I don't think I'd announce him as such at your reception. JMHO.

 

[Luvableoldonkey]

We also didn't replace him ... we just had one less groomsman than bridesmaid. And if he's not in your actual wedding party, I don't think I'd announce him as such at your reception. JMHO.

Men are so difficult! I've talked to a lot of people lately that have had an uneven amount in the bridal party. I think we have finally decided on not having him in the party at all. Thanks for the feedback

 

[Disney-Chick]

My wedding is in 3 months and I couldn't pick between my 2 sisters so I choose both of them. Of course I couldn't leave my daughter out so I have 3 on my side and DF only has his brother. So being uneven isn't that uncommon or is it and I didn't know?!?! lol Either way, it's my day and that is how I want it.

As for DF friend..Here is my sad story..so if anyone wants to feel bad for me I except all kinds of sympathy

I invited 2 of my friends from work. We hung out went to movies etc. I have been asking for 2 years for them to come. I am having an escape wedding and fit them in and didn't ask my cousin and his wife since I was closer to the girls. They asked me questions about driving down or flying, places to stay etc. They never once told me "no" so I did up the invites and sent them out. All in the middle of this I decided I wanted to quit smoking, and did, but still go out for break as it doesn't bother me to be around smokers. At the end of the day only one lady told me "I really want to go, could you maybe change the year..haha" <--- Um no I can't and the other lady said "oh I received your invite". Neither of them sent them back. They stopped calling me to hang out with them at break time, they never asked about my wedding until recently, and the odd time they call they ask "where have you been?!?" I just can't believe that because I quit smoking that they don't bother calling or maybe it's because they don't want to discuss the wedding. Im not sure but either way my feelings were hurt. DF said that I shouldn't let it get to me as they were only co-workers. I thought they were more than that as we always celebrated each others b-day's, knew everything about each other etc.

At the end of the day, there going to be missing out on my special day and visiting the most Magical Place on Earth.

But here is my happy dance that I have the rest of my close friends and family...oh and I put my cousin and his wife in their spot.

 

[Luvableoldonkey]

I just can't believe that because I quit smoking that they don't bother calling or maybe it's because they don't want to discuss the wedding. Im not sure but either way my feelings were hurt. DF said that I shouldn't let it get to me as they were only co-workers. I thought they were more than that as we always celebrated each others b-day's, knew everything about each other etc.

:

How horrible of them! People are so rude! I love the part where she asked if you could change the year I'll also do a happy dance with you to celebrate your cousin and his wife coming