HELP with DS15 & teacher issue!!!!! UPDATE #17

[drgnfly30]

My oldest, DS15 (soon to be 16) has always been an honor roll student... until now.. he's not into anything bad but he's become quite the slacker... especially in Honors Algebra... I've been TRYING to communicate with his teacher so that I can keep up with things (his Failing grade last semester was quite the shock!!)... she's been sporadic.. two weeks ago his cumulative grade was around 91%, this week 68%.. Since I've expressed an interest I would have hoped that during the week in between, when the dropping grade was apparent I would have been notified...

Anyhoo... I'm not stupid I was a slacker teen once so I know how easy it is for the kid to blame the teacher but I'm wondering if in this case there isn't SOME truth in this..

I emailed her last night & left two voice mail messages with two contact numbers, including my cell... one call was at 7:30am the other at 2:30pm.. no return call... I just logged on & found a curt email from her send around 4:00pm.. "I will not accept late homework...afterall this is an upper-class honors class (funny I though upper class was jr/sr not sophmore) & that I've sufficiently informed Matt of what I expect"... Umm... Ok but the kid is obviously struggling & is the type of kid that when he feels there is no hope at something he gives up completely.. with that 'tude, it's no wonder he's given up on this class....

I wrote back expressing my concerns, asked some direct questions so I can figure out where the truth lies... and ended it by saying that while I understand that Matt is quite capable of more.. at this point I think we need to work together to ensure that Matt succeeds...

What more can I do? Am I reading too much into the teachers response? Am I giving my Kid too much credit? Trust me I'm skeptical at his version but the response I've received from this teacher is not giving me that warm & fuzzy feeling?

Parents, teachers??? Any help, advice is greatly appreciated!!

 

[CheshireVal]

I would think that at 15 your son really needs to be responsible for his own work.

I'm not sure exactly what you want the teacher to do to help? It sounds like she has told him her expectations already....

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dd is a Freshman taking basic Algebra.

The teacher told me how much my dd is trying and steered me to a great tutor.

In fact she is going in about 30 mins. Her math final is next week for the quarter.

 

[daisyduck123]

I don't expect high-school teachers to be "warm & fuzzy" or give off that feeling. Elementary school...yes. Not high school.

In an Honors class...students should be responsible for the work. There is a difference between Honors classes & other classes. Honors students should be self-motivated. I would not expect the teacher to have to stay "on top of them". If a student can't handle the Honors work, then he/she shouldn't be in the class.

 

[drgnfly30]

I would think that at 15 your son really needs to be responsible for his own work.

I'm not sure exactly what you want the teacher to do to help? It sounds like she has told him her expectations already....

All I've ever asked is to keep the lines of communication open.. I don't feel like she's completely holding up to her end of the parent-teacher-student team the school touts so prominently at orientation each year....

I want to discuss her side of the story... DS has volunteered that she refused to allow the kids to bring their homework packets home & has only allowed 15 minutes of computer lab work in the last 2 weeks...

So are you suggesting I just standby & watch an honor roll student fail???

 

[damo]

Is he doing his homework? It is so frustrating for a teacher to try to help in math when the kids don't do their homework. It sounds to me like she is a little fed up with him and this may be the reason.

 

[Swimnoid]

It sounds like you need a face to face sit down. It is obvious that you want to help and the teacher should want your son to succeed as well. She should be willing to "team" with you to figure out what to do. A tutor would be great. Good luck

 

[CheshireVal]

All I've ever asked is to keep the lines of communication open.. I don't feel like she's completely holding up to her end of the parent-teacher-student team the school touts so prominently at orientation each year....

I want to discuss her side of the story... DS has volunteered that she refused to allow the kids to bring their homework packets home & has only allowed 15 minutes of computer lab work in the last 2 weeks...

So are you suggesting I just standby & watch an honor roll student fail???

Honor students *don't* fail, though. If your son is doing the work, then I really don't think he would be failing.

High school teachers don't do a lot of warm and fuzzy hand holding. They expect the students to be accountable. It may not be fair, but that's the way it is.

 

[drgnfly30]

Is he doing his homework?

It's a he said/she said thing - another thing I wanted to get to the root of with her...

I don't expect high-school teachers to be "warm & fuzzy" or give off that feeling. ...If a student can't handle the Honors work, then he/she shouldn't be in the class.

Sorry I used that expression, not because I'm expecting her to cottle anyone but to express my comfort level with a situation... And that is the point he CAN handle the work.. so to me there is something else going on.. all things point to an issue (personality or whatever) between him & the teacher...

Swimnoid = thanks for the boost... I'm beginning to think that I'm being totally off base here!!!

I want to make it perfectly clear that the school highly touts & pushes (on publications etc..) the importance of the "team" - Student, Parent & Teacher...

 

[buddy&wooz]

Yes, an honors student should be responsible- but when one is obviously having problems, the teacher needs to be responsive and help get the problem solved. Kids don't just start doing poorly for no reason- and since you're making the effort to contact her, she should do you the courtesy of at least a phone call back.

I'd follow up via email (its the best way to get in touch with teachers these days, I think) but let her know you would like to discuss it either over the phone or in person. Maybe let her know you agree he's not doing what he should, but you're trying to find out why and help him get back on track. At the very least she should make herself available before or after school hours for him- all our teachers have a morning or afternoon a week just for students who need some kind of extra help.

Good luck- I know how frustrating it can be (I'm dealing with something similar- but with a 2nd grader!)

 

[Daxx]

So are you suggesting I just standby & watch an honor roll student fail???

I think that people are suggesting that your 15 yo take responsibility for completing and handing in his homework. The teacher clearly stated she does not accept overdue assignments and stated her expectations. This is the part of high school that prepares them for college and the work force. Is your boss going to accept that you're not prepared for the presentation you're supposed to give?

Are you sure it's struggling or slacking. If it's struggling, get him into a math program he can understand. If it's slacking, then he'll have to learn to be more responsible. If your child is struggling, maybe the honors class isn't for him?

You stated that your DS told you that his teacher didn't allow them to bring their homework packets home and that she only allowed 15 mins. of computer labwork in the past two weeks -- did you ask him why? She must have her reasonings for these -- perhaps she gave them enough time during class to finish their packets and students decided to not use the time wisely. Same could be said for computer lab. I think you need to find out, from your son, what went down in class ... b/c there's a reason for these actions and my guess it's student related.

Why don't you set up an appt. to meet w/her at school rather than deal w/this on the phone!? At my school, both parents and teachers are discouraged from phone conferences ... same might go for your school.

ETA -- I don't understand how homework can be a he said/she said thing? Either he did it or he didn't do it or he did it and didn't hand it in (maybe left it in his locker). It's black and white, isn't it? Keep in mind that if he did it and left it in his locker and turned it in later in the day, it's considered late b/c it wasn't handed in during class, he could've done it in a study hall (as opposed to doing it at home) and she can opt to not accept it.

Also .... at both my and DS's schools (both elementary, he's in 3rd gr.), if you did the homework but forgot to bring it to class and turn it in later in the day (ie: they switch for math, so if you forget to take your Math homework that you left in your desk and then turn it in at the end of day), it's considered late and they take points off. This is 3rd grade!!!!! But, they have to learn, so they start teaching them young.

 

[Jennasis]

I agree with the others. IS he doing the homework? The teacher said he wasn't. Teacher's generally don't have a particular reason to lie...kids on the other hand....

Your son may be an honor student, but he's either having trouble with the material (maybe he needs to be in regular Algebra, not honors) and he's retaliating by not doing the homework, or he's just turning into a plain old slacker. I think a sit down with your son and his teacher are in order. Maybe a tutor would help if he's like to stay in the honors class? But yes, as an honors student he must put forth the effort and do the work. In high school I cannot recall any of the honors kids ever not handing in any assignments. There were no slackers in the honors classes...they simply didn't exist because their grades fell QUICKLY and they were cut from the program.

 

[Hannathy]

At 15 he needs to be in on the conferences. What reason is he giving you for his failing grades. If he isn't turning in his homework thats his fault not the teachers. She has the right to set the rules in her class so no late - work he knows it and chooses not to turn it in end of problem he looses points. He isn't dumb or he wouldn't be in honors algebra I'd be demanding some answers from him not the teacher. Some teachers are pains, some profs are pains, some bosses are pains he needs to learn to deal with it on his own.

Why do they need computer time for algebra? If it was so critical for the assignment he couldn't use his own computer.

Good luck finding a teacher after school, my son left his math folder in school yesterday we went right back it was 3:40 school gets out at 3:22 all the Teachers were gone we had to get the secretary to grudgingly open the door so he could grab it out of his desk.

 

[Planogirl]

Set up a time to meet and see what the deal is.

I don't see anything wrong with her email. She told you what she sees as a problem and the upper-class honors class probably means high school level to her.

Anyway, good luck. Sometimes even the best students struggle with certain areas of study at times.

 

[Living with the Land]

Have you had a face to face with the teacher? The reason that I ask this is because I was in almost the exact situation in school. I was an honor student but stated failing Algebra. When I came home with a D I was grounded and a call was placed to the teacher. I tried to explain that she was mean and wouldn't help or didn't teach well. Of course my parents placed the blame on me. When the next grading period I got an F I was grounded and my Dad went to have a conference with her. At the conference she tried to get me to tell my father that I was lazy and didn't like the class. She was just very cold to my Dad as well. As soon as we walked out of the meeting my Dad said I wasn't in trouble and I was going to be removed from the class. I was taken out of that teachers class and put with a new teacher. I had a B by the next grading period. Sometimes it can be the teachers fault. In my case this teacher just basically wrote out of the book on the board without explaining at all. She was supposed to retire in 2 years and I think she was just done with teaching. Just a thought.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I'm a bit confused. Her e-mail says that she will not accept late homework. It certainly sounds like your son is simply not doing it/turning it in late. So why don't you ask him why he isn't?

 

[drgnfly30]

Just got a follow up email from the teacher.. she apologized, saying she hadn't listened to my voice mails.. she explained what happened in class on Wednesday with the home work packets & I let DS read the email, he said he recalled all of it but just didn't realize he was supposed to copy the particular problems down for homework before returning the packets... She provided the work & he did it in front of me so I know it's done.... She also said she'll sit down & write a more detailed email tomorrow, so I'm beginning to feel more comfortable that we (all three of us) can work towards a solution....

I saw him solve those problems tonight in short order & his test scores are always A's, So I'm really beginning to wonder if he's just lacking in organizational skills etc... Can tutors help with how to 'manage' classwork effectively?!

 

[drgnfly30]

I'm a bit confused. Her e-mail says that she will not accept late homework. It certainly sounds like your son is simply not doing it/turning it in late. So why don't you ask him why he isn't?

He went from a 91% to a 68% in two weeks as the result of one missed assignment from last friday when he was out with a stomach bug... that was the "late" work that she referenced... from the progress report he brought home yesterday the only thing bringing his grade down so much is that one assignment & the lack of computer lab time...

 

[disney junky]

Understand also that it's quite possible this teacher has 100+ students. Most secondary teachers do. I'm glad she was able to get back to you in a satisfactory fashion. Can you access his grades on line? A lot of the districts around here have gone to that system. Parents love it and so do teachers. It keeps everyone posted on the student's progress.

 

[drgnfly30]

he could've done it in a study hall (as opposed to doing it at home)

LOL!! No such thing as study halls anymore (at least at his school)... students have four periods per day on a rotating schedule (8 classes total) with a recent increase in required credits, there is no time for study halls, they need to earn credits for every class for the full four years to graduate...