Help! Tough decision for DD. Update-Interview over!

[EthansMom]

You are weighing a prestigious appointment to a top-notch university, which is all-expenses paid, against the rest of the season on a soccer team that DD won't be on next year with a coach who puts winning ahead of the best interests of the players. There's no contest. It's not like you're talking about skipping the game for DD to attend a friend's birthday party or something trivial.

I think the coach is out-of-line and I would got straight to his superiors to let them know what he said. I wouldn't bother getting worked up about it, but would let them know that I think the coach's response was inappropriate in light of the situation.

 

[horseshowmom]

I am an Admissions Liaison Officer for the Air Force Academy. If she does not get a nomination, she will not go to West Point or any of the other service academies. She needs to go to the interview. If she skips that interview, the other senator in your state and the congressman (woman) whose district you live in WILL know. It will hurt her chances for any nomination at all.

If the soccer coach benches her for the rest of the playoffs, just remind her that West Point has a women's soccer team that she can try out for: http://www.goarmysports.com/SportSelect.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=11100&KEY=&SPID=4608&SPSID=48149.

This is someone with intimate knowledge of the admissions process. Go with the interview.

I do think it's a good idea for your DH to have a reasonable conversation with the coach. It's a compliment that the coach obviously hates to lose your DD for that game (and it sounds like a big game), but sometimes hard choices have to be made, and he should care enough about her future to understand that.

 

[mom2boys]

Congratulations to your daughter for getting this far in the process. I don't see how one soccer game - that she may not even play in - can compete with the interview. Part of growing up is learning to prioritize. That soccer coach clearly does not care about his players if he thinks one game is more important than any player's future. The coach needs to get some perspective in his/her life.

 

[Linzybrooke]

I agree with the poster that said that the athletic advisor should be contacted if the coach won't budge. My high school had a policy in place stating that all collegiate visits, interviews, etc were considered excused absenses from sports, arts, school, basically anything. They realized that college is the number one priority for their seniors and should be treated as such. She needs to go to the interview.

 

[antmaril]

The interview - definitely.

Good luck to her

 

[klmall]

Absolutely no decision to make, the interview. As someone who sees students making decisions similar to this (although not usually this grand!) all the time, her academic, life-changing future comes first.

I have seen and heard far too many coaches (and even band directors) proclaim that their team or situation is #1 over everything else in life. It's a 'power trip' that puts kids in a no-win situation. I really hate it!

Congratulations to her for making it this far and to you as her parent for doing something very right in raising her!

 

[Bob Slydell]

Assuming the coach will only replace her on the roster for just the one game and add her back on if the team wins, I don't see how the coach is doing anything that wrong? If he is actually threatening to kick her off the team for missing this game, that's a different story, but it doesn't sound like that's actually going to happen, so I think the coach doesn't quite deserve the raking over the coals he's getting on the thread.

 

[Tiffer]

Bear with me as I try to explain this.

DD, 17, has been conditionally appointed to West Point (military academy). She needs a nomination from a senator or congressman in order for her to complete the appointment. As part of the nomination process, the senators from our state are having interviews this Saturday. She has been given a specific time (2:20pm).

She is also the 2nd string goalie for her soccer team who has made it into the Elite 8 for the state playoffs! The game is this Saturday at 3pm and it is two hours away from interview place.

Senator's office will not budge on the time or day for an athletic event, regardless of its importance. Coach will remove her from the roster for this game and then quite possibly for the rest of the playoffs, which means she won't even be considered a part of the team from here on out. He feels that she is putting herself before the team if she chooses to attend the interview. She has worked hard to be on this team (since she was 8 years old) and was starting goalie until an injury caused the coach to bump her to second string. The team was winning and he didn't want to mess with karma, so he kept her at second string.

How would you advise her? I'm leaning on having her go to the interview, as I think her future is more important than the soccer team, but then again, being there for the team is important, too.

She's not a starter and NOT getting an athletic scholarship. Go to the interview and then go over the coach's head if he takes her off the roster.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

The interview! Good luck to her, and congratulations on all her accomplishments. She should be proud!

 

[budbeerlady]

The interview. She obviously is hard working to even get the appointment and that in its self I would consider an honor. I hope she gets in!

 

[golfgal]

Update DH called coach. Coach agreed that she must go to interview and will only have her off the roster for Sat's game. She'll be back if (when) they play in the next game. Guess DD better practice interviewing!

GOOD NEWS!!!

 

[Bob Slydell]

I'm glad things worked out for her!!

 

[sharbear]

I'm so glad that this was resolved. I do see where the coach was coming from and I see where how your DD was conflicted. Sports are a very important part of the admissions process and so is the interview.

Practice for that interview and have her remember that she can only make one first impression.

The coach made the right decision and I'm glad that your DH helped him see the light. Sometimes you need a parent to talk to the coach.

Should I be the one to say it now. Go Army, Beat Navy!

 

[mom2boys]

So how did the interview go?

 

[Bob Slydell]

I'm glad the interview went well

Good luck to the girls tonight too

 

[sharbear]

Thanks for updating your post. I was wondering how it turned out and it sounds very promising. Did her soccer team win? Just curious.

 

[Snowysmom]

Glad to hear the interview went well. I hope she hears some good news in December.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Did her soccer team win? Just curious.

They did win, BTW, 1 to 0.