help too many kids not enough bedrooms!!

[trekkie2]

Life is in the process of changing for me. My boyfriend is moving in (yea ) and we will have his 2 kids several days a week (yea ) but I only have one spare room (boo ) the kids are a girl 14 and boy 10. So any ideas how to make this work? I really want them to have their own space in some form so they really feel at home here.

Any brilliant ideas out there?

 

[mjantz]

Bunk beds or loft beds? 2 loft beds would give each their own sleeping area plus space underneath for a desk or small chest of drawers maybe.

 

[lovehoney]

Can you make a divider or hang a curtain from the ceiling in the middle of the extra room?

Do you have a large closet or laundry room that can be made into a small bedroom? It sounds horrible ala Harry Potter under the stairs, but when I was a kid my parents built a small bench/bed out of 2X4s in our laundry room. They put a mattress on the bed and my cousin spent the summer with us and had his own room. He was 16 and worked a lot so my mother was able to do laundry around his schedule.

 

[tinker&belle]

How big is your bedroom? could you put up a wall or temporary wall if it is large?

With the ages of the kids and them not being biologically related I would be really hesitant to let/make them share.

 

[luvmy3]

How big is your bedroom? could you put up a wall or temporary wall if it is large?

With the ages of the kids and them not being biologically related I would be really hesitant to let/make them share.

Aren't the kids siblings?

OP, is the room large enough to put a cube type bookshelf in the middle as a divider? That's a really hard age for opposite sex siblings to share a room, I would do what I could to ensure they each have privacy.

 

[TheRatPack]

How big is your bedroom? could you put up a wall or temporary wall if it is large?

With the ages of the kids and them not being biologically related I would be really hesitant to let/make them share.

I second this....but I have no idea on how to remedy the situation.

 

[okeydokey]

Maybe it's time for a bigger place? I think at that age and since they are different genders, they should each have their own room.

 

[mjantz]

Sounds like the kids are biologically related; they're just not related to the OP.

 

[trekkie2]

the kids are siblings. my kids are grown and gone. I was just worried about them as they are older. Especially his daughter, she is entering high school and really needs some privacy. During the school year they will only be over 2 nights a week and then 4 in the summer so i guess they would be ok in a room with a divider?? maybe im just worried about them adjusting. They are great kids and are excited about the change so that will help. but its still a change and i want it to be good for them.

 

[tinker&belle]

Oh...that's different...I thought one was each of yours. Sharing wouldn't be quite as bad then...Any you could move to a 3 br or 2 bedroom with a study (sometimes that is less expensive)?

 

[sk!mom]

If they are used to having their own rooms at their mom's and currently when thay are with their dad, then I wouldn't move in together without moving to a bigger place that had rooms for them. At 14 especially, having to suddenly start sharing with a younger brother could make the teen uncomfortable and unwelcome in the new setting.

 

[soccerchick]

If they are used to having their own rooms at their mom's and currently when thay are with their dad, then I wouldn't move in together without moving to a bigger place that had rooms for them. At 14 especially, having to suddenly start sharing with a younger brother could make the teen uncomfortable and unwelcome in the new setting.

I'm so glad from your post that it sound you like really like your BF's kids! And, Yes, it is time to look for a bigger place. It is hard on kids to go back and forth b/w houses, even for the best and brightest of kids (I see this first hand since I teach high school). Don't make them share a room with yet another change. Good luck with this transition.

 

[jmartinez1895]

It is great that you like his kids so much and that you are thinking of there needs. I don;t know how the relationship is with the kids mom, but for me, my ex moved in with his girlfriend and my kids ( boy 11 at the time and girl 9) where sharing a room and I contacted my attorney. We had a court action because of this. THey ran off got married and got a bigger place, but it was a very big deal to the court system so if there is any bad blood between mom and dada she can use that against him to get visitation reduced or stopped.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

My husband had to have a room for his son in our house. There could be no room sharing even same sex. Please have your boyfriend make sure what is written in his agreement and state regulations.

I also recommend a larger place. At that age you do not want the kids bunking together, they need their own rooms.

 

[Duckyiam71]

I am only saying this because when I was looking for an apartment I found this out. While the state may not have a law regarding same sex sharing rooms, apartment complexes may. So you may want to check and make sure you can do this on your lease. I would hate for you to find out after. http://www.ehow.com/list_6520256_laws-children-sharing-room.html I was moving in with my then 2 year old and the management office told me when my son reached 5, I would have to get a 2 bedroom. Just food for thought. Good luck with whatever happens. Congratulations on taking a huge step!!

 

[Aliceacc]

I don't suppose it would make more sense for you to move in with him instead, so the kids wouldn't be uprooted? This is going to be a permanent part of their lives, not a temporary arrangement. I agree-- at some point soon that high school aged girl will need privacy from her younger brother.

 

[DawnM]

This.

Dawn

It is great that you like his kids so much and that you are thinking of there needs. I don;t know how the relationship is with the kids mom, but for me, my ex moved in with his girlfriend and my kids ( boy 11 at the time and girl 9) where sharing a room and I contacted my attorney. We had a court action because of this. THey ran off got married and got a bigger place, but it was a very big deal to the court system so if there is any bad blood between mom and dada she can use that against him to get visitation reduced or stopped.

 

[tink2dw]

Do you have a Den or an Office you can make a bedroom?? or wall off the dining room??

 

[MapleGirl]

Could you finish off a section of a basement or build a small loft somewhere else in the house? If you rent, could you move into a bigger apartment? What about moving yourself and DBF into the smaller bedroom and converting the master bedroom into 2 bedrooms? Could you put up a wall in the living room to make a small 3rd bedroom? Start looking for nooks and crannies that can be converted. You can do it! Call a family meeting and get everyone's ideas. Make it a family project.

 

[MommaSnowwhite]

I know when my sister was newly divorced and going to school she was getting some help (Section 8 housing assistance). Her kids were like 7 & 2 - boy & girl repectively. By law she had to get a place that had a seprate bedroom for the boy & girl - even at those ages. I wouldn't put your DBF's kids in the same room - too many issues with girls of that age and privacy.