HELP! Son just asked if Santa was real

[GaTech]

My 7 yr old DS came home from school and asked, "Is Santa Claus real?" Any advice on how to handle this?

 

[hokiefan33]

Yep. Tell him "No."

He'll hear it sooner or later, may as well be from you.

 

[GaTech]

Thanks, we plan to do that because we are not going to lie to him. We asked him what he thought and he said that Santa was real and then just went onto something else. We just need to be ready to have the talk.

By the way, welcome to the ACC!

 

[Trish Bessette]

As sad as it is I agree with the previous post. Tell him no. I've always said whenever my daughters ask me directly if Santa is real I will not lie.

My oldest dd, who is 10, asked me earlier this year and I told her the truth. I can't believe she made it to 10 years of age!! I think she was blown away with me saying that Santa as she knew him was only dh and I. She even had tears in her eyes.

I continued to tell her that the magic of santa lives in us all. Christmas is a very special time of the year, not only for Santa but religious as well.

One good thing, after I told my daughter the truth earlier this year it took her about 20 minutes or so and she came up to me and said "Mom, thank you for all those presents you bought me"

 

[a Really Bad Egg]

Tough one. I remember having tears in MY eyes when we broke the news to our daughter at age 8. Her response was to ask if that meant there was no Easter Bunny...and then Tooth Fairy...etc. The domino effect of that reality can be difficult for some kids.

Our son who is now 8, asked that question a year ago and my answer was "Do you believe?" When he answered "yes" I left it at that.

Kids are pretty resilient and pretty darn smart. They can handle stuff like that - even though we don't wanna let it go.

We explained to our daughter that 'Santa' is a spirit of love and kindness and he exists in all of us and she too could be 'Santa' at Christmas by showing that same spirit to her brother and those less fortunate. It worked...and I trust it will again with our son - very soon.

Good luck!

 

[Jordan's MOM]

I would be sure that he really wants to know the truth before you give a blunt know. Answer, with, "well do you think he is real?" "What makes you ask that question?", or something such as " Well my heart tells me he is real". Seven is pretty young to be slambed with the truth. DS was about 10 when we had that talk and afterward he said that he had know that for a really long time but he never want us to say it out loud. I like a heel! Chances are you can give him an answer that will satisfy him with out a bold face lie. Good luck.

Jordans' mom

 

[hulabird]

My dad dresses as Santa every year for my nieces who turned 8 in February. Last Christmas they started wondering why every Christmas grandpa is gone when Santa comes.

Well, we had to come up with something to salvage at least one year (yes, we want them to believe at least until they are 12 lol)
and we did, albeit a hairbrain scheme at best, and one my brother foolishly said would never work....

We took a small tape recorder and we had my dad make a recording of his voice saying he was upstairs looking at the "thermostat" because the heat isn't working right....this way, when me and my sister are yelling, "dad, come on, Santa is here!" the recording would say "wait a minute, I have to fix this!". My dad went along as he is as crazy as we are and made a tape that was about 10 min. long, he would talk and then pause while the tape ran and then say something again a few minutes later....I put the recorder with the volume up in my parent's room and just let it play....it was so funny seeing their faces on Christmas morning, they could not figure it out, and we played it up really good...my brother even had to admit he couldn't believe it worked.

So...now what I am going to come up with this year??????

 

[Lora]

Well... touchy subject - I know, but here goes...

We've never done the "Santa" thing at our house. (Putting on flame-retardant suit now.) Here are my reasons:

1. I don't want to lie to my kids.
2. I want to celebrate Christmas for another reason(Hmm...wonder what that would be.)- even though I'm aware of the secular history of our "Christmas.
3. I was pretty upset as a child to have been "lied" to - especially when I started to figure it out and came right out and asked. I always got the "what do you think?"

So, I guess I would agree at this point with the others who have said to tell the truth.

 

[Rpsemont]

DD asked me last year at age 8. I turned it around and said do you believe there's a Santa Clause and she said yes, and and said then there is. Since then I've blown it a few times - most recently talking about putting something in the cat's stocking and DD looked at me with wide eyes and said "you do that???" I told her just for the cat. Anyway, When's she's told me she doesn't believe, she won't get any more presents from "him"
I figure if I can believe, or want to belive that that the character running around WDW with the big ears is Mickey Mouse, then we can believe there's a Santa Clause. (I do try to avoid the whole "real" question though) LOL! It's all in the symantics!

 

[turnlisa]

Well, I agree that you should ask your DS what he believes first. I am the one who had my youngest brother believing until he was 12 (there are 10 years between us). Even when he finally figured it out, I don't think I was ready to let it go.

I have 2 DSs -- the oldest is 7. Most of his friends don't believe but my DS dances to the beat of his own drummer. He believes with all of his heart and I wouldn't take that away from him. Once he said that some kid at school had told them there was no Santa. I asked him what he had said. He said that he told him he believed and his mom and dad believed and that was all that mattered. I think it depends on the child. We believe in letting our kids be kids for as long as possible -- besides, I am not ready to give the big guy up yet!

 

[lenshanem]

When I've been asked this question regarding anything of this nature (including WDW characters) I simply say if you believe magic can happen. I then change the subject.

Kids are growing up way faster than we ever did. Let them enjoy it a little longer. Don't you remember the Christmas when you finally knew Santa wasn't real? It just wasn't the same...

This is one area I don't have a problem with in regard to "blurring the facts". I don't think any kid was ever truly scarred for life cause their parents told them Santa was real.

 

[eeyore kelly]

DS asked when he was about 7. He asked DH when I wasn't home, but I believe DH blew it. I came home to the tears and sobs of DS.

When I asked DM about Santa, she told me, "If you are asking about a fat man in a red suit and flying reindeer, then no that is not real, however she went on to tell me all about the "real" Santa--St. Nicholas, and all he did. After telling me about St. Nicholas she talked about the magic of Christmas. People giving to those in need, Christmas spirit, etc. She said it was because that time of year is magical and grace from heaven is felt more, etc. She ended the talk with saying even though Santa is not real, she believes that the spirit of St. Nicholas is among us. I came away with a even bigger sense of awe.

DD is 7 and I think we have at the most 3 more years of "Santa" at my house. I have informed DH that I will be giving the Santa talk, he can teach her to drive. LOL

 

[CapeCodFam]

My DS 8 hasnot asked. We still have him going, but my brother believed until he was ten. My way of dealing with this is the same as my mom's.

"Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Clause" It was an editors note to an 8yr old girl with that very same question. It was printed in the New York Sun in 1897.

I keep a copy hanging on the side of my fridge. Its my favorite. It was what my mom read to me and all 7 of my brothers and sisters when we asked the question. Its agreat way of stating the truth and easy for a child to hear.

"No Santa Clause! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thosand years from now he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood."

joy

 

[miche61]

I too don't like to lie to my children. That said, yes we do have Santa that comes to our house.

When DD (now11) was 9 she started questioning Santa. At the time her sis and bro were 6 and 5 (I think). They had come to us a year before from Russia and had not grown up with Santa. We wanted them to have a little magic of Christmas yet, so we brought oldest DD into the "elf" world. I talked with her and I'm not sure if she'd gotten it all figured out yet, but I told her that now that she knows there isn't a Santa, that she would become an elf. She would help spread the magic of Christmas to those who weren't old enough to know by keeping the secret of Santa. She's very proud to be an elf. She doesn't give anything away at Christmas. I'm afriad of her sister figuring it out and blowing the cover for her little brother. I think kids should have a little bit of magic in their lives, even for a little while. Isn't that what childhood is about?

p.s. they all know the real reason for the season too.

 

[eeyore kelly]

I think kids should have a little bit of magic in their lives, even for a little while. Isn't that what childhood is about?

ITA!!!!

 

[disneychrista]

I have always responded to my children with the "what do you think?" or 'why do you ask?"

I simply say if you believe magic can happen.

I agree completely.

 

[long4disney]

My DS is 10 years old and probably one of the only ones left in his class that still believes in Santa and even the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. He has come home and told us that someone at school said that Santa is not real, he is your parents. I asked my son what he thought and he said I know in my heart that there is a Santa Claus. He said mom, there is no way you and Dad would buy me all that stuff!!! Especially all the things I have asked you for and you never let me get it because you say it is too dangerous or too much money! He asked my husband and I if we still believed and we said Yes, very much so! The spirit of Santa is a wonderful thing and as long as you believe it in your heart, don't let anyone change your mind!!!

 

[btass]

My sister went through that last year with her then 8 year old. Her answer was this:

Santa the way that he is seen in the mall and the ads on tv is not real but the idea of santa is carried with all of us in our hearts not just at christmas but all year long. So as long as you believe in your heart that there is goodness in everyone, santa will be real inside.

And then she added:

Your three year old sister still believes, so don't say anything to her!!

(I got a real kick out of the second part)

 

[WDWorBUST]

What there is NO Santa? My parents have been lying to me for 30 years?

Seriously - I will always "believe" in Santa. And I will let my DD "believe" as long as she will.

 

[tink2]

As a teacher in second grade, I see this come up a lot. I don't touch it with a 10 foot pole b/c it is touchy. If a student asks me- which is rare b/c they usually discuss this stuff with their friends- I just ask what they think and leave it at that.
Now, DD5 is in Kindergarten this year. We definitely have Santa and Christ in Christmas at our house. I loved Santa as a child and still do- so magical on Christmas morning to watch their eyes light up! To me, it's the same as seeing WDW through their eyes-magical. I really want DD to be able to hang on to this at least a couple more years.... I want her to have that magic and belief a little longer. As someone said, they are growing up too fast these days for me! Anyway, I'm not sure how I'll handle this when the day comes, but I think I'll ask her what she thinks and tell her if she believes magic can happen (I like that one!). I won't tell her until I have to- when she really starts figuring it all out and not accepting these answers.
btass- your sister had a wonderful answer!!