Help!! Potty Training Tips for Girls

[mommy4]

I"ve potty trained 3 boys, so I know what that's like, but now- it's my stubborn little girl!
I think she's ready, she's already starting to go on the potty at times.
Is there anything I should know to help with this? She's very headstrong, so I think convincing her is going to be half the battle. We already have her Minnie Mouse panties ready.
This morning I'm trying just putting her in the underwear during the day. She's had one small accident, but finished on the potty, so that's good- right?
Potty training is the worst stage for me!!

 

[Hannathy]

May I just chuckle at the she is very headstrong, welcome to girls!! Wait till she is 11 on ............

Sorry no real tips, you know what you are doing after 3, but sundresses make it easier to get there very quickly.

Sorry I just have a DD who is getting ready for college and I love her dearly but when you said stubborn and headstrong it just made me laugh and think "oh boy she thinks she is headstrong now" can't wait for the teens, I do have a DS so I can compare.

Have fun and use those sundresses, plus you won't be able to decide what she will wear for much more than a few more months (want to see headstrong...) so get the cute in while you can.

 

[laluna]

Dont battle! She will hold it against you for years! I forced it a bit too much on my DD (she was my first) and we had issues with soiling and constipation for years. I dont know if the two are linked but I do feel I was a bit forceful. My son on the other hand was a piece of cake to train!

 

[*Toadstool*]

MY suggestion is wait until she is ready. She will be telling you on her own that she wants to go on the potty. There is no use trying until she has her mind made up. That was the case for my DD. She is finally going poop on the potty after about 6 months of only wanting to go pee. She just decided a couple days ago that she was ready. Nothing I tried could convince her otherwise. I guess some children might be different, but mine had to decide for herself.

 

[frtchr]

My DD is 2 1/2 and shows no interest in potty training. If she's "nudie buns", she'll go just fine on the potty. However, in underwear or any other type of covering, she loses focus. I have decided to wait until she shows me signs of REALLY being ready. I have gotten a lot of grief from people for not forcing her to train now because they all say she's plenty old enough, but I'm going with my mommy instinct and waiting. So, I guess that's not advice at all. Sorry! Good luck to you!

 

[SmallWorld71]

Have no real advice to offer, just sympathy. Anyone who says that girls are easier, doesn't know my daughter. Her brothers were very cooperative with the toilet training and were trained well before their 3rd birthday. DD, however, told me in no uncertain terms was she going to use the potty; she just flat our refused. I knew she was more than capable. Rather than fight a losing battle, we picked a date on the calendar (beginning of my vacation) and she agreed she would start to use the potty then. When the day came, she didn't actually require any training. She just started using the potty and that was that.
Friends of mine told their DD (who was also stubborn) that she needed to start using the potty when she turned 3. She refused to even sit on it before that, but on the day she turned 3, she put the undies on and used the potty without accident.
I think the key with these stubborn girls is getting them to do it on their terms. Maybe you can come to some sort of agreement with her.
Meanwhile, DD is 6 and DH and I are already scared for the teen years.

 

[candielips]

I have no experience potty training as my DD just turned 2 & her Dr. said she would let me know when she was ready & not to push it.
But, I saw an episode of Dr. Phil & he had some really great ideas for potty training.
You get a doll that wets herself & ask your DD if she can show her baby how to use the potty. When the dolly goes in the potty you have a big party for the doll. Party hats, noise makers, streamers, confetti, make it huge. Then you ask your DD if she would like to go in the potty like her dolly. If she says no, don't push. Just keep having her show the dolly how to use the potty & keep having a party for the doll & your DD is supposed to want to go to.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

Oh, OP I know where you are coming from having potty trained 2 boys easily myself, but I have some not so good new for you. Headstrong girls won't be told, tricked, bribed, or anything else into going before they decide they are going to do it.

After 9 months of potty training DD3 she finally decided one day that she wanted to use the potty and cash in on all of her promised rewards, and by that time there were quite a few as I would have given her the moon just to be done with it. Well, after she cashed in she did fine for a couple of weeks and they decided that she was done with potty training and started wetting her pants again. She just doesn't want to get up from what she is doing and take the time to go. So here I am back at square one.
So I guess my only advice is just to show her how it's done and don't waste your time battling it out with her.

 

[mommy4]

OP here! Thanks for all your responses. I'm trying not to push her, as I realized with my sons, that does not work. However, it is so hard because I know she can do it.
Oh well, it will come eventually.

 

[LuvBaloo]

My girls are now 7 and 4. And the second one is strong-willed.

My 4 yo was physically ready well before she was actually trained, but because daycare didn't want to deal with too many accidents she was in pull-ups while training so she had no desire to go to the bathroom if she had the pull up on. She knew it would absorb and it looked so pretty she didn't care about getting panties. At home we made it either panties or diapers and then she wanted the panties. When she didn't want to try, she wore diapers.
You didn't say if you were trying pullups, but my advice is to stay away from pullups.

Also, I recommend getting her involved in cleaning up accidents. They can take their own wet stuff off, and in my case, I had them put the wet stuff into the bathtub where I would then deal with. I didn't make the kids wipe up a puddle or anything, but they could go get a towel for the floor. It was all part of the whole "consequences for your actions" idea.

My first DD was motivated by a sticker reward. We put a sheet of paper up in the bathroom, and she got to put a sticker on the sheet when she went. The stickers were kept in the bathroom and only used for that purpose.
My second DD was not so motivated by the sticker reward, and we resorted to trying the candy reward. We had a bag of M&M's and she got one when she went. Her older sister got one too, which was the older one's reward for being supportive. She had been supportive and helpful all along, so it was only fair to let her get the candy too. The candy I think helped, but it was really her not wanting to wear diapers that got it going.

To summarize it, I had success when it was all about choices.
If she chose to not use toilet, she was choosing to wear diapers, and help deal with the mess. Diapers weren't a punishment, they were a choice (I told her pullups were too much money.)
If she chose to go in the potty, then she got good stuff.
It did not work when DH and her would get into a battle of wills.

 

[adventure_woman]

My DD will be 3 at the end of Sept, and I would say that she was actually potty trained the beginning of July. I think what really made her interested was when we went to the library and I got potty books for her. She really liked No More Diapers for Ducky. Then we also got other little girl potty books for her (I really thought the books wouldn't help, but for her it got it more interested). About 3 weeks later we went on a trip to Cedar Point, and she STARTED ASKING TO GO!! I couldn't believe it! (Before that I would put her on the potty every 20-30 minutes and she would go, she just wasn't asking). A couple days later she started asking to go #2. Now, she doesn't have any accidents unless it's mommy's fault. (I'm not counting nap/night time - I don't expect that for a long time, so we still wear pull-ups).

Anyway, my suggestion is get books if she likes to read.

 

[brymolmom]

I am of the camp that there are two categories that parents fall into....#1 actually 'trains' the kids and #2 waits for the kids to decide to do it (no training usually involved as they are 3+ and know exactly what to do - they just want the power to decide for themselves).

For group #1 - you need to actually train early-on BEFORE they get knowledgeable enough to hold it over you (usually in the just before to just after 2 year old age). And you train....when they have an accident you tell them (or put them on) the potty to show them the proper place to do it, you let them wet themselves or go naked to dislike the feel of it on their skin,etc.

Then for group #2 - a lot easier, in some ways (although way more diapers to change in the long run), but when you get to that point - the child really 'trains themselves'. But like I said - no real training - my dnephew was old enough to mark down the days on the calendar until he turned 3.5 and then he wore underwear. But when you're old enough to know what a calendar is and follow the days of the week and month...You OBVIOUSLY can figure out what's been happening on the toilet for your mom and dad all these years.

So if you're in #2 category - I agree with pp's and say just to wait until she does it herself. With my 2nd we did category #1 and I was very happy with the result. For ds we started early but then got scared away by accidents and didn't go back until he was just about 3 - BIG mistake. By that time we just should have waited until he decided to do it but it turned into 6 months of arguments. I didn't know any better at the time - SHOULD have continued early with him. Ah - hindsight!

Good luck and keep cool!

 

[marymac123]

Sounds exactly like my princess. I was soo stressed over it that I actually bought use matching silver charm bracelets with little tiny sterling "toilet" charms. I can only laugh now about it. She was soooooo stubborn. She knew when she had to go & would let me know but would just go in the pull up. She finally started going when I took her to visit her soon to be nursery school & saw all the big kids. she wanted to be a big kid. That's my suggestion if she is the right age. Just know you are not alone!

 

[*Toadstool*]

OP here! Thanks for all your responses. I'm trying not to push her, as I realized with my sons, that does not work. However, it is so hard because I know she can do it.
Oh well, it will come eventually.

I know exactly how you feel. It was so frustrating knowing my DD knew what to do, and she just didn't want to. She would ask for a pull up when she wanted to go #2, and if I didn't give it to her she would not go for as long as I let her. I was scared she'd get sick, so I gave her the pull up when she asked for it. She is finally now just in the past few days pooping on the potty. She just told me one day that she was ready and wanted to do it.