Help! Need Epitaphs for my Tombstones

[Bichon Barb]

I'm going to make some tombstones for the front yard. Anyone got any funny epitaphs? Remember any from the Haunted Mansion?

 

[Cinders]

RIP GOOD FRIEND GORDON now you've crossed the river jordan

RIP in memorium uncle myall HERE YOU'LL REST FOR QUITE A WHILE
(Chuck Myall - Art Director)

REST IN PEACE COUSIN HUET we all know you didn't do it

HERE RESTS WATHEL R. BENDER he rode to glory on a fender
(Wathel Rodgers - illusionist, mechanical genius)

HERE LIES GOOD OLD FRED a great big rock fell on his head

AT PEACEFUL REST LIES BROTHER CLAUDE planted here beneath this sod
(Claude Coates - Art Director, Master of Paint Effects and Lighting)

RIP MR. SEWELL the victim of a dirty duel
(Ted(?) Sewell - Engineer/Draughtsman(?))

IN MEMORY OF OUR PATRIARCH dear departed grandpa marc
(Marc Davis illustrator, idea man, funniest Imagineer)

REQUIESCAT FRANCIS XAVIER no time off for good behavior RIP
(Xavier Atencio - scriptwriter, and lyricist, Grim Grinning Ghosts

DEAR DEPARTED BROTHER DAVE he chased a bear into a cave

MASTER GRACEY LAID TO REST no mourning please at his request
(Yale Gracey - illusionist)

HERE LIES A MAN NAMED MARTIN the lights went out on this old spartan
(Bill Martin - Art Director)

One other stone has set in the area. After John Sullivan retired as
President of the Magic Kingdom, a tombstone was erected for approximately
two weeks.

Disneyland Haunted Mansion
Pet Cemetery

bat
FREDDIE
the Bat
1847
<upside down> We'll Miss You

frog
OLD
FLYBAIT
He Croaked
August 9
1869

pig
ROSIE
She was a poor little
Pig but she bought
the Farm
1849

dog
BUDDY
OUR
FRIEND
UNTIL
THE END

skunk
Beloved Lilac
Long on Curiosity...
Short on
Common Scents
1847

There is a cat surrounded by little mouse grave markers.

One that says "Fi Fi"

rat
In Memory My Rat
Whom I Loved
Now He Resides
in the Realms Up Above

spider
Here
lies
Long Legged
Jeb
Got tangled
up in his
very own web

fish
October 10
1867

Snake long snakey grave marker
Here lies my snake who's fatal mistake was frightening the gardener who
carried a rake

Eagle
July 11
1864


Theo Later
U.R. Gone
Ray N. Carnation
Dustin T. Dust
Lev Itation
G.I. Miss You
I Trudy Departed
Rust in Peece
I.L. Beback
M.T. Tomb

 

[binny]

my mom always says she wants one that says " SEE?? I TOLD you I was sick!"

 

[Magix]

More a Boot Hill kind of epitaph, but it's always been my favorite:

Here lies Lester More
shot 3 times with a .44
No Les no more

Think I picked that up at Knott's Berry Farm years ago.

 

[JetMom]

W.C. Field's tombstone reads "All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia"

 

[WeirdEyes]

Thanks for doing this post. We are also doing a cemetary in the front yard and need the says. I took pictures of the ones at Haunted Mansion. Can't wait to see the looks on the kid's and parent's faces!

 

[Bichon Barb]

These are great! Keep 'em comin'!

 

[nativetxn]

She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

 

[WDWHound]

All of the following are real...

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
------------------------
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
--------------------------
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
---------------------------
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
---------------------------
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
--------------------------
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.
------------------------------------
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.
------------------------------------
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.
-----------------------------------------
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
------------------------------------------
Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
----------------------------------------
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.
-----------------------------------------
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.
----------------------------------------
Fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
----------------------------------------
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.
----------------------------------------
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.
- To which someone replied by writing on the tombstome:
To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.
-------------------------------------
Here lies Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young.
-------------------------------------
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
--------------------------------------
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
--------------------------------------
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
--------------------------------------
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.