Help me understand plz this is not a joke

[Eeyore's Girl]

My brother in law is thrifty. He makes decent money, doesn't owe on his house anymore, etc. He has no cable, just got internet last year if my sister paid for it herself, gives his garbage to his parents so he doesn't have to pay a garbage bill, won't let his teenager get braces, etc.

He scoffs when someone says they got a new car, or went on a trip, or bought a new coat even.

He says when we're all old, he'll be living the good life while we all starve.

Maybe it will be true. Maybe we our retirement money will disappear and we'll starve. Who knows.

Some people just have different points of view, I guess.

My 80+ neighbor told me that she regrets never seeing anything or doing anything. She never left the house overnight. Everything was too expensive, then time went on. Now she says she's too old to do all that stuff. She says to live a little in life. I agree with my neighbor.

Has BIL ever read the parable of the man with so much he decided to build an extra barn? His barn and all that weath burned down that night as he ate, drank and got merry.

I agree with your neighbor, too!

 

[Gigi22]

My sympathies are with the OP. My closest friend passed frugal a long time ago and moved straight into outright cheap. But, she is a single woman, she is a caregiver for her ageing parents--her mother has dementia, and my friend is disabled. So, while sometimes her excessive frugality drives me to distraction, I have to remember that she has stresses that I have been spared. That said, I do still wish she would give waitstaff decent tips, and would actually pay her share of cab fare when we share a cab.

 

[honeydiane1953]

My sympathies are with the OP. My closest friend passed frugal a long time ago and moved straight into outright cheap. But, she is a single woman, she is a caregiver for her ageing parents--her mother has dementia, and my friend is disabled. So, while sometimes her excessive frugality drives me to distraction, I have to remember that she has stresses that I have been spared. That said, I do still wish she would give waitstaff decent tips, and would actually pay her share of cab fare when we share a cab.

Ty all for your explanations. Ty Gigi as my closest friend passed frugal also. She and husband live alone and although are now on fixed incomes(good ones) has gone from bad to worse. She promised her DGS(only has 1) to pay for half on a car. When other st of GPS pressed her for half she denied she ever said that. I see they caught on REAL quick. She hurt him. She says she WANTS to buy her only child a sofa and told her she would. Of course she didn't. This time she hurt my feelings by hurting both those kids. I have kept my mouth shut for too looong. Like I said we have been friends for50+ years. She is downright STINGY.

 

[MrsPete]

For the North Carolina teacher salaries, you can add a local supplement in many districts. My son's girlfriend is a first-year teacher and her salary is a little over $34,000.

Actually, most counties dropped these. We're in our fourth year of a salary freeze, and supplements disappeared at that same time.

 

[MrsPete]

Has BIL ever read the parable of the man with so much he decided to build an extra barn? His barn and all that weath burned down that night as he ate, drank and got merry.

I agree with your neighbor, too!

Close. This is the parable of the rich fool. After he'd torn down his barns and built larger ones to hold all his wealth, he sat down, very satisfied and feeling that he himself was responsible for his success, saying that he now had wealth aplenty for many years. Yet God called him a fool and declared that very night he would die -- his soul would be required of him -- so all his earthly wealth was useless, and he didn't know God.

The Bible doesn't discourage wealth; many of the people described in the Bible were extremely rich; a few examples include Abraham, David, and Solomon. Rather, it emphasizes the importance of keeping one's priorities in order. It's not wrong to make money, to spend it wisely and even to enjoy luxuries that money can buy; but it's wrong to put the love of money before God and before compassion and help for those in need.

 

[nchulka]

Close. This is the parable of the rich fool. After he'd torn down his barns and built larger ones to hold all his wealth, he sat down, very satisfied and feeling that he himself was responsible for his success, saying that he now had wealth aplenty for many years. Yet God called him a fool and declared that very night he would die -- his soul would be required of him -- so all his earthly wealth was useless, and he didn't know God.

The Bible doesn't discourage wealth; many of the people described in the Bible were extremely rich; a few examples include Abraham, David, and Solomon. Rather, it emphasizes the importance of keeping one's priorities in order. It's not wrong to make money, to spend it wisely and even to enjoy luxuries that money can buy; but it's wrong to put the love of money before God and before compassion and help for those in need.

Exactally money is not evil, the LOVE of money is a sin.

 

[nchulka]

She promised her DGS(only has 1) to pay for half on a car. When other st of GPS pressed her for half she denied she ever said that. I see they caught on REAL quick. She hurt him. She says she WANTS to buy her only child a sofa and told her she would. Of course she didn't. This time she hurt my feelings by hurting both those kids.

If she promised and then went back that was wrong, she should keep her promises. That said why should she be footing the bill for an adult child (who is old enough to have their own child that is at least 16) to have a new sofa!!! And if the teenage grandson wants a car he needs to get out and work to earn one. I would never buy those kinds of things for my children when they are capable of working for them, I don't want my kids to turn out lazy and living in my basement until they're 30. Some may say I'm being a tightwad if I have the money and watch my poor children work hard and struggle to earn things I could easily pay for, I say I'm instilling a good work ethic in them. There's no free lunch in life, the sooner you learn to pay your own way the better your life will be! My son is only 8, he came to me saying he wants Puma shoes, apparently they are popular in second grade. I always buy the "cheap" 12 dollar tennis shoes at WalMart. At 8 years old my son already had the wisdom to approach me in this way, "Mom, I really want these Puma shoes, they're so cool, they're 56 bucks on Amazon, I have almost 20 dollars now, do you think they're are some extra chores I could do to earn some extra money so I can buy them sooner." He should be able to get them within a few months, he is content waiting and saving his own money, the thought that I would buy him something so expensive never even entered his mind, he never even asked me to buy them for him.

I'm surprised that your definition of being cheap is not buying expensive things for family members that should be buying them for themselves. Maybe she is trying to teach them a lesson, although I do agree that she should have never said she would. She should have told them right from the start that those are things they need to work for.

 

[davmill]

I grew up like her. Never had a lot of money and just learned to watch what I have. Pretty much passed it on to others at times. Of course, it does drive some people crazy.

 

[honeydiane1953]

If she promised and then went back that was wrong, she should keep her promises. That said why should she be footing the bill for an adult child (who is old enough to have their own child that is at least 16) to have a new sofa!!! And if the teenage grandson wants a car he needs to get out and work to earn one. I would never buy those kinds of things for my children when they are capable of working for them, I don't want my kids to turn out lazy and living in my basement until they're 30. Some may say I'm being a tightwad if I have the money and watch my poor children work hard and struggle to earn things I could easily pay for, I say I'm instilling a good work ethic in them. There's no free lunch in life, the sooner you learn to pay your own way the better your life will be! My son is only 8, he came to me saying he wants Puma shoes, apparently they are popular in second grade. I always buy the "cheap" 12 dollar tennis shoes at WalMart. At 8 years old my son already had the wisdom to approach me in this way, "Mom, I really want these Puma shoes, they're so cool, they're 56 bucks on Amazon, I have almost 20 dollars now, do you think they're are some extra chores I could do to earn some extra money so I can buy them sooner." He should be able to get them within a few months, he is content waiting and saving his own money, the thought that I would buy him something so expensive never even entered his mind, he never even asked me to buy them for him.

I'm surprised that your definition of being cheap is not buying expensive things for family members that should be buying them for themselves. Maybe she is trying to teach them a lesson, although I do agree that she should have never said she would. She should have told them right from the start that those are things they need to work for.

As for the grandson I think u r right. Like u said she should have NEVER promised just to get his hopes up and then... well u know. As for her only child, a daughter who works HARD for everything she IMO is flat wrong. I am only in this BTW because she talks nonstop about these money woes. The best thing for me would to be when she starts on a rave re money I will tell her lets agree to disagree. You know just finally sharing this with you all has helped me understand and get it off my chest. For at least 35+ yrs I just listened. Now I am fed up. I love her and I know she feels the same. Plz best friend quit talking, worrying and letting MONEY DRIVE YOU now me crazy. Love to u all.