Help! DS is a Jr. What to do to get ready for college

[angeluna]

DS is a junior in high school now. What should we be doing to prepare for college. I feel like we're in limbo. School counselor is no help. He takes all AP classes, membership in 4 different clubs, and top 5% of his class. He has taken the PSAT every year since starting high school. He doesn't know what career to choose, much less school. He's pretty introverted, but not shy. He doesn't hardly go out with friends, and just started texting. (To a girl. Guess she's worth the extra effort.) lol Should we send him to community college to get basics, while living at home or to a university and dorm? He always does the "right thing", but not much initiative to go out on a limb. Don't know where to start or what direction to go in. Thanks guys! I don't post much, but I read a lot on here and y'all always have great answers and kind hearts!

 

[golfgal]

I am VERY strongly opposed to college aged kids living at home. A MAJOR part of what kids learn at school is HOW TO GROW UP and take responsibility for themselves in a somewhat controlled environment.

If he is in all AP and top 5% sending him to a community college would be a HUGE mistake. He will be bored out of his mind AND most of his credits won't transfer to the 4 year school he chooses so it ends up being a waste of a couple years.

If he scores well enough on the standardized tests, has a good GPA (which he does given his class rank) he will be able to get quite a few scholarships making college pretty reasonable (even private schools).

Start going to college fairs (if they have them by you). Our jr's take career assessment tests to see what areas they show interest in for a career. That helps you narrow your choices some.

The best thing you can do is start visiting some schools. Go to a few near you to get a feel for the campus, he will get an idea of what he likes, what he doesn't like, then he can narrow that down.

The rule in our house is you have to go at least 2 hours away from home to college. You are close enough if you NEED to get home you can, but far enough away that you have to think twice about running home for everything.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What does your son say? What are your rules? I mean if he does not go to college have you discussed what you expect of him?
Have you talked about insurance coverage and his need to be in school to get it?

My dd & a nephew are freshmans in college this yr and it is an adjustment.

If he is in the top 5%, does well on his SAT's and has taken AP classes I would say that community college is probably not a good idea since he will walk into a university with college credit and probably a scholarship.

He needs to be looking at colleges, majors, jobs he thinks he has an interest in to get started.

 

[angeluna]

He is going to go to college. Every course he has taken in the last 5 years has been planned with emphasis on college. One thing I forgot to mention is that he doesn't like driving. I work in a Trauma center and I guess he's heard a few too many stories. He drives, but not yet without an adult with him. we live in a very busy area. He's great with computing, math, science, and very creative. The clubs he's in are: anime, business professionals of america, chess club, Asian club, and aerospace club. Maybe that helps.

 

[java]

I am VERY strongly opposed to college aged kids living at home. A MAJOR part of what kids learn at school is HOW TO GROW UP and take responsibility for themselves in a somewhat controlled environment.

If he is in all AP and top 5% sending him to a community college would be a HUGE mistake. He will be bored out of his mind AND most of his credits won't transfer to the 4 year school he chooses so it ends up being a waste of a couple years.

If he scores well enough on the standardized tests, has a good GPA (which he does given his class rank) he will be able to get quite a few scholarships making college pretty reasonable (even private schools).

Start going to college fairs (if they have them by you). Our jr's take career assessment tests to see what areas they show interest in for a career. That helps you narrow your choices some.

The best thing you can do is start visiting some schools. Go to a few near you to get a feel for the campus, he will get an idea of what he likes, what he doesn't like, then he can narrow that down.

The rule in our house is you have to go at least 2 hours away from home to college. You are close enough if you NEED to get home you can, but far enough away that you have to think twice about running home for everything.

The bolding is mine

In our state NJ- 100% of your credits from certain Community colleges transfer. In fact there is even a website created to help you reformulate a schedule to meet qualifications at a specific university.

So don't discount the Community college route- you save a lot of money as well.
But with his grades- and depending on his SAT's he should at least try to get into a University. Get him to start thinking of his areas of interest. If technology is his interest focus on those schools (RIT, MIT to name a few my son is dreaming of attending)

My son is a sophomore and we are planning on checking out some schools this spring and summer. Taking him to various "wide range" kind of places. Ones in cities, those in the boonies, big, small ect. So he can get a feel for what will work for him.

Good luck to your son on his journey. I remember it as the most stressful time of my life(I was an overachiever and went nuts on getting into my dream school)

 

[angeluna]

Dad dreams of MIT, but it's so far away. Sorry. Mom moment. I don't show him those too often.

 

[golfgal]

Dad dreams of MIT, but it's so far away. Sorry. Mom moment. I don't show him those too often.

Look at it this way, Boston is a great place for a vacation and a visit .

 

[dis-happy]

Go do some college tours with him and let him get a feel for various colleges.

Make sure he is signed up for both the SAT and ACT...some kids do better on one than the other. Plus, a high score often equals scholarship money.

When he takes the SAT make sure he opts in for mailings from colleges. This will give him exposure to a lot of options.

Some schools require specific SAT II tests (subject tests) so if think a school is even a possibility make sure you take the test. They are offered only a couple of times in the spring so you have to plan ahead.

My dd didn't have a major in mind either, so a liberal arts school was a good fit for her. After her first year there she declared a major in Biology and she'll graduate next year. Now she is talking about wanting to get into a phD program and go into microbiology and DNA research. All this was due to that liberal arts start, finding a prof. she clicked with, and then a new scholastic passion we didn't even know she had in her was born!

Start gathering recommendation letters sooner rather than later.

Start making lists of activities, etc. done during high school years; you'll need to put these on applications and it's easy to forget all the different things he may have participated in.

Meet with the guidance counselor and make sure everything is on track.

Fill out FAFSA forms on-line; it will help you plan for costs.

Keep on top of the process. He may want to do an early decision application if there ends up being a school he loves. If so, you'll have an early deadline to meet as well. The nice thing is being done by Christmas when everyone else is starting to scramble.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

He is going to go to college. Every course he has taken in the last 5 years has been planned with emphasis on college. One thing I forgot to mention is that he doesn't like driving. I work in a Trauma center and I guess he's heard a few too many stories. He drives, but not yet without an adult with him. we live in a very busy area. He's great with computing, math, science, and very creative. The clubs he's in are: anime, business professionals of america, chess club, Asian club, and aerospace club. Maybe that helps.

That is a start.

You just need to begin the college tours around your area and have your DS look into majors he might be interested in. Look at Monster.com for jobs that are available to get an idea of things.

College tours help because it becomes "real" if that makes sense. Basically he needs to figure out where he is going to apply to over the summer. So you have a few months to get some tours in. And believe me the time flies.

Has he taken a defensive driving course? If he has not I strongly suggest you enroll him in one. It will further his confidence with driving.

My dd learned to drive in DFW so I know what you mean about busy. She just drove back to college in the dark (2hrs)....as a mom I don't think I will ever stop "worrying".

 

[angeluna]

Mystery Machine, I know what you mean. My friend just had a baby. I told her that the guilt and worry she's experiencing are there to stay. A Mom's work is never done.

 

[Tink9721]

Here's some advice from a fellow junior I'm in the same boat; no idea what I want to do for a career. From what I've heard, a lot of kids go to college not knowing what they want to do. Please don't pressure him too much about choosing a career right now! Junior year is extremely stressful as it is. Every family event I go to I have people asking me about careers and college. And that's been happening since I was a freshman. Thankfully, my mom doesn't do that. She knows the right career idea will hit me eventually; it happens at different times for different people.

Academically your son is in much better shape than me! I'm nowhere near the top 5%. But my grades aren't terrible, they're just not perfect. I'm really shy and I also don't go out with my friends a lot. I mean I have a lot of friends, I just prefer to stay home and relax.

As far as schools go, I'm aiming for University of Rhode Island. I know a lot of people are opposed to this, but I'm planning on living at home. Not for the whole four years, but at least for a little while. Absolutely my first semester. I just don't think I'll be ready to move out yet, and I want to be able to adjust to the classes and the campus before I move out. Are there ever any college fairs in your area? Try taking him to one and have him look around at different schools, get some brochures, and see if any of them look good.

Hopefully this was helpful Good luck to you and your son!

 

[Planogirl]

I see nothing wrong with living at home for the first year or maybe two but I can see the benefits of moving out for the remainder. It's good to take those steps but of course kids are different.

 

[angeluna]

Tink, Thanks for being honest. It helps to get perspective from another Junior. At home, we certainly don't pressure him about career choices or anything else for that matter. He puts enough pressure on himself. I didn't know what I wanted to do for a career either at that point. I thought health care, but I didn't end up in health care until 10 years after high school. Life can throw some curve balls occasionally. My parents were always proud of me and my choices, though. It helps to have support, and that's what we try to give him. I haven't seen any college fairs yet. I'll inquire more about those, since we live a big metro area. I don't think he feels ready to move out yet, which is fine. But, I don't want him to be tied to home forever either. I want what's right for him to grow up. If you know what I mean. I'll start doing some of the suggestions here and keep praying a lot. Thank guys!

 

[Becky2005]

I won't have much help since my oldest is a Sophmore but we have already been talking colleges, etc... She basically wants to be a stage actress though, so not quite sure where that one is going to lead.

I know she would love to go to a college & stay at a dorm but she is footing the bill herself and doesn't have a job is going to make that difficult. I personally know too many people that went away for Freshman year and transfered back to our Community College the next year. Since they do have where certain basic classes will transfer (English 101, Science 101, Math 101) type of thing, I think that is what we are heading toward.

I still am going to take her on college visits, etc... this is all new to me as I never did any of this when I was in school. I knew I was going to get a 2-year degree and that was pretty much it. I got a 2-year scholarship to our Community College and all I had to pay for was books/lab fees. Pretty much sealed the deal.

I know around here they have college fairs & our HS specifically has one for Juniors to get them started in the direction of "what do I look for in a college, etc..." I believe they just had that one.

Our community college also does the College Fair with last time it was 125 schools from all over participating.

My DD has done mini-visits in that she has done some summer camps at a couple different colleges here. One she *loves* and would easily go to school there. The other one she does not like (at least she didn't like the dorm rooms at all). I'm sure it's not the same thing as an official visit but she has gotten a feel for them.

I know I have been seeing some colleges recently offering Open Houses too, those I think would be good to check-out.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

If you do go visit the colleges try to go while school is in session. This way you get see the students and get a feel of the college life.
Some colleges have open houses on holiday weeks or days off when many students may be off campus.

 

[allison443]

This may be obvious, but is he planning to take the SAT or ACT in the spring of Junior year? The SAT is offered in January, March, May and June. Not sure about the ACT. One of my daughters did great on the SAT, the other one did good on the SAT but great on the ACT! She was so glad she took the ACT.
All colleges accept either test.

With my dd, the May SAT date was the day after junior prom so she didn't want to take the SAT that day. So getting an early start in January or March can work out well. The deadline to register for the January test is usually in December. You can register online at collegeboard.com.

Collegeboard.com is a great resource. Lots of information about schools, finding matches for your student's stats, etc.

If he is really looking at upper tier schools, be aware that they may require SAT subject tests, called the SAT II. If so, a good time to take those SAT subject tests is May or June, at the end of the year you had the subject in school. Example, my dd took AP US History and took the SAT II in US History at the end of that year, since she was studying for the AP test anyway. You can take up to three tests at one sitting.
You can take the SAT multiple times if you need to improve your score...they now have "score choice" which means when you send your scores to the colleges, you can pick which ones to send..they used to send all of your scores automatically, although the colleges said they would consider only the highest.

Sometimes it helps once you have the test scores in hand, to know what schools you are aiming at. (You probably have an idea already from his PSAT scores.) Also, if he decides to apply early action, early decision, or apply for certain scholarship consideration, some of the fall test dates may be too late.
Doesn't Texas have some kind of automatic admission to the university for the top percentage of students? That might be something to look into as well.

Good luck!

 

[dchi]

Since he has already taken his PSAT's he should now take his SAT's. Colleges will look at those. And colleges may recruit him after seeing his SAT scores! My sons math portion of his Sat's are a 750 so he had an easy time getting into most colleges.
With your son's interests being math, science and computing, he may want to check out the computer science major! Often times they need to take physics, statistics, calculus and maybe a robotics course with of course some computer programming classes as well. Enjoy the Junior year....take a college tour or two...after the tour ask him if he thought he could see himself there and felt comforatable? For me, after i knew my children felt comforatable at a certain college it made me feel better. The the senior year gets crazy busy! ahhhh

 

[PatsMom]

I would start by deciding whether your son wants to be away from home or live with you. Money is always a factor too.

After the PSAT's my daughter was inundated with college materials. That helped her pick a few that she was interested in. In her case, she wanted her college experience to include living away from home. So even though she is at a university near several of my relatives and could live off campus, she is in a dorm and she absolutely loves it. This is where the money part comes in - she knows that her college fund contains about enough money to pay tuition so she will end up having loans to pay for the dorm room. She doesn't care.

If your child is not terribly outgoing and more comfortable with a few years at home the community college option is a great one. I would not say that an excellent student would be bored just because it is a community college - many of them have excellent professors and curriculums. I know in my state there are a number of community/techincal colleges that offer credits that will be accepted by any state university. I don't live in a wealthy area so there are quite a few kids who take the route of finding a job and going to community college. They do the first two years that way and get the core classes over with cheaply. Then transfer to the university for the final two years. If they do it correctly, they may even qualify as independent for financial aid calculations.

 

[Tink9721]

Tink, Thanks for being honest. It helps to get perspective from another Junior. At home, we certainly don't pressure him about career choices or anything else for that matter. He puts enough pressure on himself. I didn't know what I wanted to do for a career either at that point. I thought health care, but I didn't end up in health care until 10 years after high school. Life can throw some curve balls occasionally. My parents were always proud of me and my choices, though. It helps to have support, and that's what we try to give him. I haven't seen any college fairs yet. I'll inquire more about those, since we live a big metro area. I don't think he feels ready to move out yet, which is fine. But, I don't want him to be tied to home forever either. I want what's right for him to grow up. If you know what I mean. I'll start doing some of the suggestions here and keep praying a lot. Thank guys!

No problem I'm so glad to hear you don't pressure him! I see a lot of parents doing it and I really don't think it helps at all. One of my friends got grounded because she got an A- on a test and her parents were expecting an A+ Support definitely helps a lot! I get tons of it from my parents They also don't mind at all if I stay at home for a while. I'm not ready to move out but I don't want to stay home forever, and my parents definitely understand that

 

[EdiePA]

Having survived this with two sons, you've received some good info here regarding the SATs and looking for colleges. One of the best times that DS#2 and I had were the summer before his senior year when we did a road trip through New England looking at the colleges that he was interested in.

One thing that was stressed to us over and over (and stood up when my son was applying to dental school) is that colleges are looking for someone who can use their time well. The academics need to be there, but what else? My sons had:
a job (video store for one, grocery checker for another)
a sport
volunteer work

For his dental school interview two out of three schools focused on the fact that he was a cheerleader. Something that he had done on a dare (cheerleader tryouts) ended up being all-important to his future. Because, again, they were looking for how he spent his time.

Enjoy these days! This is nerve-wracking, but so much fun to be along for the ride!

Edie