Help DIS Homeschoolers Help me convince my DH

[OceanAnnie]

For every "well adjusted" homeschooled kid, how many are out there that are socially ********?

The same question could be applied to public school children. Being a teacher, I'm sure you know about school psychologists within the school systems. They aren't there giving out ice cream, I assure you. Socially maladjusted children are in the school systems just as they are surely in homeschooling communities. I would wager a guess there are more socially maladjusted children in the public school system because of the sheer number of children enrolled.

First and foremost, children are going to blunder in social settings because they are learning their way! It's part of being a child. Children make mistakes and missteps. And hopefully they learn from them.

In addition to the above, there are other reasons for a child to be socially maladjusted. Learning disorders can have an impact on social skills as well as medical conditions.

IMO the spectrum of social disfunctions can not be placed squarely on the type of education a person receives. There are many variables that come into play.

 

[Brier Rose]

I am a high school math teacher, I would not want to teach my children biology, chemistry, English or a foriegn language.. How is it possible that a parent can accomplish this when teachers can't?? I think its irresponsible for people here to suggest that homeschooling is a good thing without knowing the situation.. For every "well adjusted" homeschooled kid, how many are out there that are socially ********?

It appears that you, like many, have a typical "outsiders" view of how the homeschooling process works.

Just because a child is homeschooled does not mean the only instruction they ever receive is from their parent!

I think one of the most important aspects in a good homeschooling experience is knowing your limitations!

There are plenty of things that I know I would not be able to teach my children as effectively, and so my plan is to get help where I need it!

It does not have to be an all or nothing approach!

Just because I am not strong in one subject, does not mean I should not homeschool at all. It just mean we get tutors, and or outside classes as needed!

As far as the socialization goes, sure there are plenty of homeschooled kids out there who may have difficulty fitting in with their peers, but have you truly never seen kids with the same problems that attend school??

How about the shy kid, the geek, the social outkast??

IMO these type of kids wouldn't ever even put themselves in a "trying out for the team" position such as you describe.

In my experience, the few homeschooled kids that I have seen that have been shy, and slow to make friends at least still had the courage to put themselves out there and try!

Most of the ones I know, including my children, just don't factor in what other people/kids might think of them. They just decide what they want to do, and go for it!

 

[Mom to Jordan]

All facts or opinions aside, unless your DH supports your decission to Home school , it will not work for your family. Home schooling is a total lifestyle change and it effects everyone in the family. We considred HS for our DS when he was just starting out and DH just could not feel good about it. I really would have loved to do it but I knew enough to know that that big a change must be supported by everyone.
He has trived at PS but is not a very socail child by nature. As a very mature only child, he can hold his own in any adult converstaion, but struggles with other kids. He has had all the "social exposure", it's just his personality!!

Talk and Talk and Talk with HD and do lots of research and decide what is best for your family.

 

[Karel]

. Our co-op has over 500 kids attending. Its HUGE....However, I love it because you get to know other parents who are experienced and can tell you when and when not to worry about schooling it makes you feel "okay". Also other kids who can be friends to your children and make them feel "normal". .

Without starting anything... this is the part I dont' understand. Your co - op is bigger than my public school. How many kids are 'in class'? And why is it any different than sending your kid to public school? I get to know more experienced parents also who tell me when I should be worried about schooling and when everything is ok.

.She attends our local college for science and reading labs and is already learning Latin. All classes offered by the college for homeschooled children. By the way, I drop my daughter off at the campus, she enters alone, walks to her class, is responsible for her own material, and actually functions without me..

Are they teaching at a college level or at an 11 year old level? My 12 year isn't learning Latin, but she is learning spanish.
Once again, why is this any different that the many school kids who do this also?

I'm not saying anyone is wrong or right and I do admire homeschooling families, though I have no reason to choose that course for my own. One of my misconceptions I guess is that the whole point of HS was so that you 'control' their learning and fit their interests. Also, that you have a two on one ratio ( or how ever many kids in your family....)

I think there are certain inherent problems to working with a group of children, such as someone pointed out 'teaching to the lowest level'. (I just love that phrase ) Some one is always going to be behind and someone else is always going to get done in two seconds flat. I think learning that everyone is not going to be finished at the same second is important.

If you send them out to HS class - isnt' that the same as going to school??

 

[minkydog]

Ahh, socialization...my favorite topic (not!)

I have homeschooled, private schooled and public schooled my 3 children. I defy you to tell which one was homeschooled the longest--the 19yo outgoing actor/director/producer? the 13yo singer/dancer? the 11yo mentally handicapped swimmer? (okay, that was a giveaway--it's not option #3)

The answer is: the 19yo. He had 8yrs of homeschooling which included a lot of travel, reading, soccer, sports, music, and writing. He wrote a madrigal play for the local high school and performed in several HS productions. He has severe learning disabilities,graduated with a homeschool diploma, but was able to get accepted at two colleges--without taking the SAT. He is currently working at Blockbuster and has formed a producution company with two other men to write and produce short films.

The 13yo only had 6yrs of homeschooling, but she is always the life of the party. She collects friends like charms, sings with a professional children's choir, travels the country, and raises gerbils.

The 11yo was homeschooled only until he could be accepted into the public school special ed program. However, due to the stimulation of his brother and sister, he learned to walk, ride horses and feed himself before he started school. He now swims, runs, sets the table and sings.

Homeschooling was the best thing we ever did for our kids. We are a very close family due to the quality time spent together and my kids have fond memories of the projects we shared.

 

[Karel]

In today's schools they are not allowed to socialize. It's sit still and no talking and those that are ahead of the class are bored to tears. I was one that wondered the same thing and found out how wrong I was. QUOTE]

I must be in the wrong school then.

Friday, I spent time on the floor with a class of second graders as we did chatted and did puzzles together. Then, I saw them laughing and timing each other as they practiced their math facts.

Monday, I'll be in class of third graders as they read out loud their journal writings about what they did over the weekend.

Last week, I attended a young authors tea where the first graders read out loud the stories they had written to their parents.

Oh, and then there were my fourth graders....we were having such a great time figuring out math word problems together that I forgot it was my lunchtime!

Oh, yes, no socialization there...

 

[Brier Rose]

In today's schools they are not allowed to socialize. It's sit still and no talking and those that are ahead of the class are bored to tears. I was one that wondered the same thing and found out how wrong I was. QUOTE]

I must be in the wrong school then.

Friday, I spent time on the floor with a class of second graders as we did chatted and did puzzles together. Then, I saw them laughing and timing each other as they practiced their math facts.

Monday, I'll be in class of third graders as they read out loud their journal writings about what they did over the weekend.

Last week, I attended a young authors tea where the first graders read out loud the stories they had written to their parents.

Oh, and then there were my fourth graders....we were having such a great time figuring out math word problems together that I forgot it was my lunchtime!

Oh, yes, no socialization there...

Well, it is not socializing if you judge your examples by the same terms that most non-homeschoolers use when picking us apart.

I have been told time and time again that an hour or two a day of contact with other kids does not equal the same socialization experience that kids in school would receive.

Sorry, but I can't see how a classroom of kids sitting and listening to each other read aloud is any better.

NOT saying there is ANYTHING wrong with it...BTW, so please don't take it like that.

 

[Brier Rose]

Just realized I was getting sucked into the drama of this thread which was not my intention!

OP, My dd was going to private school (K5), when DH first approached me about homeschooling.

I said NO WAY! I thought it was the weirdest thing I had ever heard!

After a lot of talk about it, I decided to research it, because I realized I really didn't know anything about it!

I was surprised by what I found, and after a lot of thought DH and I reached a compromise.

DD was just in K5, so we decided we would homeschool her for 1st grade so that we could know what is was like.

Then we could make an educated choice based on our own experiences rather than just assuming it wasn't for us.

Boy was I wrong! I love homeschooling, and it was without a doubt the right choice for our family.

Honestly, it may not be for yours, but maybe your DH would agree to a similar compromise to find out. He might be surprised himself!

 

[katyjeka]

Hi, to answer the above poster. Our 11 year old attends college classes that are available to all children, not just homeschoolers, and they are taught in different age groups. She is in with the 5/6/7 grade group for science. It is different from her public school in the sense that every topic that covered is done so with experiments, not just text books. Please, don't attack this statement because I'm aware that public schools do experiments, but she is able to study the stars, planets, etc, at night with fellow students. Class at 8:00 pm may seem strange, but not when studying the solar system. As far as the language issue, we chose Latin for her because so much of the English Language is related to Latin and we felt she needed to have a better grasp on English before starting Spanish. Again, I'm not saying this is what is right for every child, we just had one who struggled for some time with understanding all the concepts of English and were told to give this a try. (It has worked)For the above poster who asked how did we discover the college programs. I called and visited our local colleges, for the purpose of signing our daughter up for art classes and they mentioned the programs that are available to all children, not just homeschooled. Make some calls and pay some visits, you'll be shocked to find what is out there. I will end my debate with this post, after all, this is a disneyworld message board, and I want to focus on the one thing we all have in common, our love for Disney. I also want to say that after reading the above posts, the one that is most sensible and gives the most valuable advice is the poster that stated that it will not work if both parents don't agree(Mom to Jordan). I know my DH and we would not be successful in this if he was against it. You have to follow the path that works for you entire family. Happy Vacations to All. Janice

 

[TinkerbellMama]

My DH and I are having a little trouble seeing eye to eye on Homeschooling our DS6 and our DD5. We both agree the quality of education is better. However he still needs lots of convincing about the socialization. There are a lot of homeschoolers (I'm told) in the area with lots of programs for them. (music, art and gym classes at the Y) However he still worries that they wont know how to handle themselves with other children and will become the unknown child in social settings. Please help with any advice you can give. You guys have given awesome advice in the past. Thanks so much!!!

I have even tried to tell him it will make our Disney trips even easier, but he's just not buying it.

I could go on a tirade here (and boy, do I want to!), but instead I will restrain myself and suggest the following:

Have your dh go online and type in the words "homeschooling" and "socialization" and see if he finds even ONE reliable study showing homeschooled kids aren't equally or better socialized than schooled kids. He won't, and he might learn a heck of a lot about what socialization really is.

Good luck!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Homeschool if you want, and I'll use the school, we live in an excellent school district and my DD is exposed to more subjects and taught at a level that no one person could ever do and is thriving.

I think you have every right to send your child to school as you see fit, and I'm glad you have an excellent school district. However, I have to totally disagree about the "no one person" thing. I most certainly can and will teach my son about any and every topic (and more!) under the sun. I'll have 18 years with him, everyday (I stay at home). No teacher can match that level of access, nor my level of commitment. I'm not saying your school/teachers AREN'T "excellent"...just that it is silly to think "no one person" (homeschooling parent) could expose his or her child(ren) to at least the same number or variety of subjects!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I have taught in public schools for 17 years and have coached youth football for 16.. In my time, we have had 4 home schooled kids play youth football and their social skills were just awful, had a hard time even saying hi to the other kids. I just cringe when I even hear people mention home schooling as a solution.

Won't even get into the educational factors as these kids head into junior high and high school...

Wow, that's funny. My nationwide research revealed that only 2 colleges sampled (2 from each state, including public and private) felt homeschooled students were less qualified than traditionally-schooled students.
The majority felt they were equally qualified, and MANY schools (including some of the "better" or Ivy League schools) actually PREFERRED homeschooled students because of their unique academic abilities (independent thought, creativity, etc.). And before anyone gets upset that I've just said homeschooled students are more independent and/or creative, be warned: I didn't. Those were the words of the admissions officers themselves, and it wasn't a multiple-choice kinda thing. They came up with those characterizations on their own!

 

[Hannathy]

Wow Tinkerbellemama I am impressed, there aren't many people around with masters in English, a foreign Language, Math, Science,(you know physics,Bio, Chemistry) History, music and can teach physical education. To match the level of education an honors student in highschool would get you would need degrees in all these subjects. because last I checked the Ivy League schools looked for at least 5-7 AP courses With high scores in a student to be considered for admission.

 

[Brier Rose]

because last I checked the Ivy League schools looked for at least 5-7 AP courses With high scores in a student to be considered for admission.

Are you suggesting that Ivy League schools are not interested in homeschoolers?

BTW, please remember that there are all different kinds of ways to homeschool.

You might find this interesting..Stanford Online

For instance my DD does an online homeschool which gives us offical transcripts, as well as providing AP courses, and help with college placement.

Not trying to be snotty in any kind of way, just thought maybe you didn't know.

 

[disneyjunkie]

However, I have to totally disagree about the "no one person" thing. I most certainly can and will teach my son about any and every topic (and more!) under the sun. I'll have 18 years with him, everyday (I stay at home). No teacher can match that level of access, nor my level of commitment. I'm not saying your school/teachers AREN'T "excellent"...just that it is silly to think "no one person" (homeschooling parent) could expose his or her child(ren) to at least the same number or variety of subjects!

Access and commitment are pretty useless without KNOWLEDGE about the various subjects you will be teaching.

 

[Brier Rose]

Access and commitment are pretty useless without KNOWLEDGE about the various subjects you will be teaching.

And what makes you think she can't learn as well?

You might be surprised at what lengths a lot of homeschooling parents go to in order to provide what they feel is the best education for their children. Including furthering their own education in order to teach!

You know, what's funny to me is that I went to a Private school. NONE of my teachers "specialized" in one certain subject.

As a matter of fact several of my teachers started out as subs with NO education, and wound up staying on teaching full time, with NO degree!

My sister in law is going to school to become a teacher right now, but guess what, she is teaching classes while she is learning herself!

Now before anyone jumps, I AM NOT saying this is the norm, just giving an example of how both choices of schooling can be more alike than you think.

 

[Karel]

. I'll have 18 years with him, everyday (I stay at home). !

Do you only have one child who is 1?

I could never teach my kids certain things like Latin, higher math skills, chemistry. I barely made it out of chemistry myself. I hope he does better than I did!!

 

[belle&beast]

I don't want to be any part of all this debate! The the OP: I am a PS preschool speech therapist and will send my children to private schools when they are old enough. I have worked with HS children in the past and of course PS as well. I think your decision should be based upon what is best for your child and his/her style of learning. One HS mom I know has 6 kids and she HS 3, 2 went to PS and 1 to a private school because she looked at what types of personalities and learning styles they all have. Also, she is a teacher so she is trained in education. I know my DD needs to be with other adults and peers because she is a more timid and reserved kid, while my DS would be perfectly fine at home with me because he is very social already and has confidence with new situations. All kids are different. I hope you get some answers to your questions and good luck with your decision.

 

[Sunny37]

In today's schools they are not allowed to socialize. It's sit still and no talking and those that are ahead of the class are bored to tears.

That's just not true. Children indeed socialize during school hours and any student who is "bored to tears" should find a good book to read if they are so far ahead of the class...that's what I would encourage my child to do.

 

[KJMAX1]

I cannot believe peoples responses on here. I thought teachers were to teach acceptance of all types of people, and walks of life? It makes me wonder what type of socialization everyone has received!

I really dont want to get into the drama or comment specifically on their one sided opinions, but I believe the reason why a lot of people see homeschoolers with "issues" is because some of the homeschooled children I have seen have special needs. Not every public school can handle effectively all special needs in learning. I talked with our local PS and was told what the class would be able to do. After talking to my daughter's therapist they concluded that the PS would not be able to meet her needs. Our local PS still supports us if needed. They have welcomed us to come on field trips, or use their PE program or anything else we might need.

Most of my family are teachers, or professors. Most of them have decided to either privately fund their child's education or homeschool. Whatever the case, their children are learning and THAT is the most important thing. Recently Bill Gates was on an interview on CNN about how American classrooms are failing our future nation. He went on about how INDIA one of the poorer nations has higher academic standards than even we do. If American could fix its failing school systems I would be more likely to place my child in the PS system. However, I have chosen a path of learning for her. The Wall Street Journal has published many articles on how colleges actually seek out homeschool children because they are able to learn in a college environment. If you google it I am sure you can find them. Many HighSchool students coming out of a traditional school settings do not know how to work independently. A professor doesnt care if you make it to any of his classes. He wont call your mom, and he wont call you to remind you of your work. If you dont show and you are signed up for the class, you will just be dropped, or you will get an "F" at the end of the semester.

I go to a co-op of about 500 children so that my daughter CAN socialize. She loves to be with other kids, and frankly, I cant teach her every single subject. So if I want her to take biology, I have a certified teacher at the co-op teach it to her. There are roughly 250 classes throughout the year for our kids to take. Some are combined grade levels, and others are year round courses. My intent on homeschooling was not to prevent my daughter from socialization but because she has a unique learning need. My local school tests my daughter for me, and even supplies the books she will need, but I have chosen to use others.

To the OP I would do a lot of soul searching and research before you make a decision. It is a lot of work, and commitment. Its also not the easiest option. Look for resources to help you in areas you dont feel comfortable teaching. My husband holds a math masters with a minor in engineering, and I feel confident we can handle math, and science, but when it comes to a foreign language we leave it to another teacher. Good Luck!